can i love again if i am married ?

October 15, 2012 4:00am CST
hi am 35 year old married person but now i think i am in love with other girl .but i am so confuse that is right or not.i don't want to cheat my wife .she is so sweet and she believe me so much but i dont want to continue with her. because i think i love that girl .anyone can help me that what i do? its right or not
3 people like this
21 responses
@ulan12rc (223)
• Qatar
5 Dec 12
Great question! You are in a very critical situation right now but I can say you're brave for asking such a delicate question. Let me share my ideas folks, ( I hope I can help this puzzled guy right now). Everyone is entitled to his/her own feelings it was a God given gift to us, you are very lucky guy. How? 'Coz you're in love, not all people are lucky enough to feel that divine sensation from within. Now the problem is you don't want to cheat your wife (and you don't want to stay with her either huh!) because she is so sweet and she believes in you (does she loves you)...don't you realize that you cheated her from the moment you fell in love with somebody else even though she doesn't know and it is unfair for her if you continue loving this lady behind her back. It will be more painful for her if she learn that from other people so don't be confuse be a man talk to your wife and be honest but before that you have to find out what you have to say to her. Man, you can love again...why not? Ask yourself to find the true answers you are looking for...go ahead ask yourself a million times my friend. Do whatever your hearts says but be cautious in your decision. Don't let yourself stay in a miserable state of life.
@zearah (5289)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Take an advice from an expert person like this one.I know this lady and I'm confident that her comment is very realistic and wise as well.Thanks, Ms. Ulan for your great info.
@riyauro (6430)
• India
15 Oct 12
Oh my god, you don't want to continue with your wife when she is so nice. I don't know how you could do that. Gosh some people are so so crazy. this is my opinion. Why did you get married to her in the first place?? If it was somebody not nice I would not say anything but you said with your own mouth that she is nice. then why you are doing this to her.???? I very unhappy at this and iam a girl, i could understand her well. if you can't stay with a nice person then you will not be able to spend the rest of your life with anyone. you will always be dissatisfied with whatever you have. appreciate what you have in life and try to make life with it. Thanks so sharing and have a wonderful day ahead
15 Oct 12
yes dear this is the reason for that i am asking .because i love my wife .but what i do yaar.
1 person likes this
@zearah (5289)
• Philippines
15 Oct 12
Love your wife more than any other girl though you can give respect and show kindness to other girls but not to the extent of giving the love that only your wife deserves. If you are faithful and sincere you guy will then get equal and even more from your wife.
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6430)
• India
15 Oct 12
Yeah you do not have to do much but love your wife.. see other girls as tabboo or sisters or daughters or mother. It is the eye from which you was looking. Change the way you look at other girls. only then things will be fine. think about your wife..love her and respect her for who she is.
@sajujohn (1009)
• India
15 Oct 12
You yourself are saying that your wife is so sweet and she loves you so much. Then why you are you thinking of leaving your wife. In my opinion you are not in love with the other girl. It can be a mere infatuation. And by the way you said and described about your wife, I don't think you don't love your wife anymore. So my advice is that keep loving your wife as much as you can.
15 Oct 12
i am fully satisfied with you that i love my wife but i love also that girls .she also love me and she know that i am married.but she is agree
1 person likes this
@riyauro (6430)
• India
15 Oct 12
I don't like such girls, what kind of heart she must be having?? very dirty girl ..
@romzee (938)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
You just said that you don't want to cheat your wife, then why on earth you're still entertaining your feeling to the other girl. In your profile your age is only 22, and then right now you are telling us you're 35 years old and married. Is this a computer trick? just like your website... Just asking.
@wahwee20 (66)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
Perhaps you were only bored of some sort of what you & you're wife have in your current married life. try to loosen up once in a while and think of something that can make your relationship as husband & wife much happier & colorful. Do some experiment of how you can make her feel importance to you, or you may ask or suggests to her what do you want. Be open to her and always make sure that whatever issues that would come into your way, stay honest, and you must both have good communication. Be contented and appreciate each other even though you both do a small thing. and always put God on the center of your marriage. Don't just simply love your wife as what you've mentioned she's nice and sweet, Love her as a whole of how you accepted her from Bf & Gf up to giving vows that you chose her to be your lifetime partner.. which exactly means that you will never ask for anyone else, but only your wife. I hope this could help you avoid tempting that can ruin your marriage.
@rubrub (166)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
i know that feeling. ive been in that situation alot of times already. what ive found out was, men tends to like another woman because theres something that we like but we cant get from our wife. so most likely to happen is for us to look for another woman who has that thing that we like. but that feeling is just temporary. you will soon realize that you just want a particular thing that another woman has and not the woman herself. so just keep the lovefire burning. always try to make conversations with your wife about the things that you want that she currently does not have. be open and dont be afraid. it always starts with a good conversation.
@Magz1989 (272)
• Philippines
16 Oct 12
That girl is only a test to your married life...so you must be strong enough to stay away from temptations. Remember your vow as a husband, that you will be loyal and faithful to your wife. So, its only a test because remember this will show how faithful you are to your wife...Just be strong! Keep away...it must destroy the family you have created...remember you are united....you can hurt many people now...not only your wife but also her family and your family...trust in God..pray for guidance...
@Tongcv (173)
• China
16 Oct 12
Whether or not this girl love your,you think about your wife did not let you hate,you are tired you feel with him,I feel life is tasteless,you left her;look for the girl,you think you are tell the girl will be a happy life together? Or met another girl and want her.
@sjvenden27 (1850)
• United States
16 Oct 12
Married is a sacried vow that you and your wife took together.. If you believe you are with the wrong women.. You need to talk to your wife about it.. But if you do not have the heart to tell her.. Then dont.. But fanitasing about this other women is just going to make things more cloudy the more you try to keep it from your wife and still appoarch the other women.. Cheating is wrong and cheating is not worth it.. All it will bring is lots of heart ache and more pain in the long run.. You also need to for yourself decifier if its love or lust that you feel for the other woman.. It may be the simple fact that you are taken and it is so wrong that you are attracted to her even more..
• India
15 Oct 12
Hi friend, your stage is really a tough one. As you mentioned you are married and your life believes you a lot, so you must be loyal to her. Also you mentioned that you are not interested in continuing your life with your wife and wish to live with that new girl, it is not a good thing. As you are already married, you must try your maximum to avoid this kind of unwanted things and focus your concentration with your wife. All the best
15 Oct 12
Duh! It's obviously not right, If you don't want to cheat your wife,so stop seeing that girl... How long do you know that girl anyway? What's in her? From your statement "i think i love that girl". even you, yourself were not sure if you're really love to that girl because you just thought of it. Love is supposed to be felt... not just having a thoughts or something, You can't say "I think love that girl".. it's like you're just picking up girls in the streets. And about your wife, you said she's sweet and believes in you... What's the problem?? what's in her that annoys you and decided to leave her? Well friend, just an advice. Tell your wife about the other girl, I think she would listen to you.. just don't divorce her yet... Try to work things out between the two of you... and stop seeing that girl for now...just concentrate with your wife. Just try your best to work things out. :)
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
15 Oct 12
Of course it is not good to continue what you feel. You are a married man and loving other girl is cheating your wife. Avoid her that's the best thing that you should do.
@ellyse2003 (1465)
• Philippines
15 Oct 12
If you really love your wife and you're planning to have a good future for her and for your coming kids, you have to be strong. You have to understand that you're already married and not a child anymore, stop playing games. You need to leave that girl, you're love to that girl is just infatuation. How many years you've been married?
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
15 Oct 12
pareek you are 35 year old--i took you around 24/25. Stop thinking in the way you said. Erase. Get transferred to another town/city and stay away from that woman. such initial thoughts will land you you into problem--are you not watching Crime Patrol programs in Zee Tv, crimes happen because of such bad intentions. Your wife is a good lady you say--she believe you-- be 100% faithful to her and your children. Imagine what will happen if your wife sees this post. she will feel totally bad.
@mythociate (15220)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
15 Oct 12
You once 'loved' your wife I imagine, but now she's 'more of the same' and your body wants something different? What makes you think the same thing won't happen with the new girl? That you won't get tired of her and start looking for another new girl? And this new girl: she's not in love with you-alone. She's in love with you-married. That is; without your wife, you wouldn't be as 'attractive.' This new girl doesn't want "you," she wants 'the faithful husband whom you are to your wife.' I'm guessing you could take this new girl as a mistress ... as a girlfriend who can never be "all yours" like your wife is.
@aabuda (1729)
• Philippines
15 Oct 12
If you can stay away from it then you better do it in order to save your marriage. Maybe you are just confused because of what that girl is giving to you...don't bother yourself focusing on her because you have a loving wife who is always there for you, to love you and to accept you on what you are and who you are! Then why look for someone else then?
• Indonesia
15 Oct 12
maybe isnt love sir,,just attraction,need more to feel it love or not,n the long last time is when someone could take anything just the way u are. in happy sadness she is the first who standing for. love is God gave for us to bring peace who followed by responsibilities. easy to talk but hard to do,but thats the poin good n bad person by how he can carrying his responsibilities. for notice:dont marrying somone if u couldnt take big things called RESPONSIBILITY ;) so,,what would u be?
• China
15 Oct 12
hi, big brother, you are 35, not young any more. In this age, thingking carefully before action. No more time for you to waste. you can list many virtue of your wife shows that your wife is a good person expecially she trust you much, it is a great benifit for you. Though I am a faithful person, my wife alsways check my massage of the phone, deep in my heart, I think it's not good, so I seldom massage to other girl,never hang out late night. In my case you can see how lucky you are. What's more, the relationship with that girl, you think it is perfect now, but with time go on, can you sure it will not change? You can abandon first wife then you can abandon the second for another young girl. Please go on with your wife, it's not easy when two people form a family. Sometimes, people need more rationality.
@paulli3 (312)
• China
15 Oct 12
of course, it is wrong. you have a good wife and the only person you should love is your wife, don't hurt anyone, if you cannot forget the girl you love, you will hurt everyone, won't you? so it is better for you to be friends with the girl you love now, but just be friends, not lover. and only love your wife.
• India
15 Oct 12
I am just 26 years old. But i am also a human being. You are much more experienced than me. But here i can say that you are doing wrong. Just think that if your wife would do the same with you. How would you feel.? You will never stay happy by breaking someone's true heart. You are just thinking about yourself. But did you ever thought about your wife. How would she feel.? How would she stay without you.? A true girl never loves somebody who is married to a faithful woman. If she does, then she need something which you have. If she ditches you then what will you do.? Will you be able to show your face to your wife.? Don't break your true house. Very few fortunate person gets true and faithful partner. You are lucky.