I can't control my nervous

@tedifa (1235)
Indonesia
October 17, 2012 9:03pm CST
Sometimes i come to important meeting or speaking in front of some people.But till now i still can't control my nervous.It was shame and become a problem for me.I can't speak well,and what i am thinking always gone cause of my nervous.It's different when i was perform with my band on the stage.At there i can manage my nervous with scream or my style.But in meeting i can't do that.Do you have any suggest for me guys ?
4 people like this
28 responses
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
take a deep breath focus and say to your self, that you can do it.. you should be confident..and it is started if you master your content for presentation.. and pray for God.. sometimes it`s not easy..i know it i feel the same too,but we know that we can do it..
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
I have done sometimes to take a deep breath,but after 5 minutes back to my nervous,maybe my confident still less.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
don`t worry the first experience sometimes isn`t easy is it your first experience??
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
No,more than 2 times i got this trouble,even in front of kids audience,oh my god,what a shame..
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
I have heard this from someone that it is okay to be nervous. :) Nervousness means your feet is still grounded. When your nervous, you have a drive to study your presentation and be prepare well. I may suggest that be confident infront of people. Don't show your nervousness. Think that there is no people around. Another tip is that don't look directly in the eyes of the people.
@jdalaqui (1074)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
Great tips but I would suggest that eye contact should be maintained because you will be establishing more rapport and your message is more understood and received. It's not easy to look directly at the eyes of the audience but it can be your best asset when the fear is overcame.
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
I've learned that you may not look into the eyes. Just look in between of the eyes or eyebrows. *wink
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
Eyes contact is good ways to communicate with audience,we also can see if they like or not with our topic of speaking.
@mythociate (15186)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
18 Oct 12
Practice! is the only advice I can think of. Then just think of the others at the meeting as fans in your audience (at one of the smaller venues). Just--when you practice--make sure your speech covers everything you want to talk about (the Who, What, Where, When, Why & How---the 5WH).
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
of course..you`re right always practice from our neighbourhood and then try to makes speech in front of mass..
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 12
The 5WH,that was good idea,thanks my friend,next time i will search for 5WH first,hope this will help me.
@romzee (938)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
Getting nervous in meeting or speaking to an audience is a natural reaction for most of us. Fear of making or speaking the wrong words or topic usually gets into our nerves. Best attitude to overcome this fears is to come prepared. It's better to known your audience and what they expect from you. Take notes that you can use so you will stay in course with your main agenda, and best of all practice, practice, practice...
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 12
Practice and prepare,you're right,i always bring notes in my pockets,who knows that i forgot my idea.
@romzee (938)
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
Yes, notes are very important. Even the best speakers bring notes to keep them on their topic.
@prashu228 (25820)
• India
18 Oct 12
this is my problem few years before, but now i am okay with public speaking. I tried to speak in front of the mirror, this helped me upto some extent. For you, tis should not be the problem ,as you said, you do stage shows and are comfortable with it. so you can easily come out of it while speaking in public too. Hope you try it. great day ahead.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
of course.. it`s one good way we try in our home we can learn how to speak in front of mirror.. sometimes we need more time for it and we did it
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
well thanks for your idea,i've heard about learn and practice in front of mirror,i wanna try that,hope someday i will reduce this problem
@ryanong (9695)
• Vietnam
18 Oct 12
Just take a deep breath and to something to yourself such as take it easy, everything will be all right. One more you should confident, then i hope you won't be nervous in the meeting or speaking in front of people anymore.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
the first experience isn`t easy..but if we can pass it, the second and next experience is easier..
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
Sometimes take a deep breath is just make me more nervous,drink some water and pray before hope can help me someday.
@kabz_peg (27)
• Philippines
27 Nov 12
Dude, i understand how you feel. I've been through that kind of feeling for such a long time. I'm glad I was able to manage it. All I did was relax and try to do a few sets of "inhale and exhale" until you feel the muscles on your neck and check relax. I also precondition my mind a few minutes before I do my discussions in front of a crowd by thinking that those bunch of guys out there will surely be in "awe", hehehe
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
27 Nov 12
Try to relax will reduce the nervous,i believe that,and for being relax sometimes i am listening music before go to audience.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
20 Oct 12
Honestly I think that the best way that you can overcome your anxiety when you are speaking in front of a group is to simple practice speaking in front of people. You see, there was a time in my life when I was painfully shy, but this was something that I was able to overcome when I was a young teenager because I had a teacher that saw the potential in me and encouraged me to join the school's speech team. I did this and over the course of a few months I overcame my shyness and actually qualified to compete in the state finals. From that point on I've always been able to speak in front of people. It is significantly easier to speak in front of people that I know, but I am able to speak in front of complete strangers as well.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 12
Greats skill from you doran,maybe i have to more practice in front of people,and also with strangers.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
Bear in mind that feeling nervous is very normal. Every person who is expecting something new like delivering a speech would feel this. Even seasoned speakers have this feeling too, but the rule is, never show it. You have to learn to act and behave in a way that won't make you show your jitters. Take a deep breath before going to the front and tell yourself that everything is going to be okay. Most of all, be ready. Prepare before you go up the stage or before attending that meeting that needs your presentation. Preparation is the best way to handle one's nervousness. Not being ready or prepared will double your nervousness. Good luck to you!
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
Preparation is the best way,you're right,sometimes i can't prepare my speaking topic very well,i can't find the source.
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
I am also having this problem when I am in front of many people. I just can't avoid getting nervous. No matter how I feel confident, once I am there standing in front of the crowd- I can't control my nervousness and getting tremble.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
now you can learning from this discuss,the responses from many friends are great,you can try to do that.
• India
18 Oct 12
Hi tedifa... I just recently learned that we have to wiggle our toes when we are nervous. It will send message to our whole body to relax. That is what my trainer advised me. It is hard to wiggle your toes when you are wearing closed shoes but you have to. It will lessen your anxiety. Also if the place where you will be presenting is very cold, make sure to bring jacket because the chilliness will add up to your nervousness and it will be hard to control your shaking.. Good luck to you and have fun with your presentation!
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
Thank you my friend,next time i will wearing jackets or warm clothes to makes sure my shaking never show up.
@mikyung (2234)
• Philippines
18 Oct 12
I can relate here, since I'm like you but I'm fighting it everyday. But I believe, I can manage this in time. See, I'm part of a management team and I'm obliged to speak out, what's my point of view to something relevant. As i can see it, we should expose ourselves more to those kind of affairs. And think that, there is no harm if we try our best. Constant practice makes almost perfect. Good luck to us. Thanks
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
I will do more practice as much as i can in front of my friends first,then in front of small audience.
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
18 Oct 12
it depends on the age and experiences. can you please mention your age, and family situation(well or sad) then we can give best response to you.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 12
My family is very well,and i am 36 years old,i think that was not the big factors,there are lots of kids who expert speaking in front of people and family i think just support.
• Romania
18 Oct 12
I think that problem will disappear over time. I had this problem too. But, I've started to speak in front of a small public. Then, the number of people in front me increased. Suddenly I noted that my fear for a public it's gone.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
experiences and practice already fix your problem from nervous.I believe that.I hope someday my nervous will gone,just like you.
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
18 Oct 12
Im that way as well. I have no problems talking to 3 or 4 people. But any more makes me nervous. never understood why.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
for the first time,same like you,i don't know why i am nervous,now you can read all of responses from this discussion.That's really help me.
@med889 (5958)
18 Oct 12
Hello, there are many trainings you can take online, i took one its called presentation dynamic and it helped me a lot, to speak infront of an audience, to address someone, to walk on the floor and raise a topic and even answer to questions. Find some online courses.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
Thanks med889,i will try to find it with search engine.Beside learning from there i have to more practice soon.
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
18 Oct 12
I think you confidence is loose or something different problem why feel nervousness. If any problem leave for some time and face the meeting. Positive thinking and confidence are most important in any case.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 12
positive thinking always in my mind.my confidence will grow up if my family comes and join with audience.
• United States
18 Oct 12
I take buspar for this and it really does help me a lot. I would say talk to your doctor and see what they are able ot do for you. they dose is very low and it is great.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
i've never discuss to any doctor about this problem.I prefer sharing with my friends.i am afraid doctor will judge me with any kind of sickness.
• Indonesia
18 Oct 12
It happened to me when i was in high school..how if you sing loudly in public..try to get the courage. .perform in public or side of street...when you get it..try to perform on stage without audience.. About meeting...i believe you need to build up self-confidence about your own performance..dont think what people will think and judge..you are the best when you are you :)
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 12
Self confidence is the key,like the others said i have to believe with my self and be my self.audience wanna hear my topic,not watching my nervous.
@wolfie34 (26816)
• United Kingdom
18 Oct 12
I have full empathy for you, I understand, I suffer with anxiety and for me talking in public is a big no no, and something I would avoid, when I was younger I was once told that if you picture the people in the interview, meeting etc being naked then it takes the pressure off, weird I know! They are only people the same as us and the trouble is when you have meetings or have to speak in front of others there is only one of you and more of them.
@tedifa (1235)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 12
Thank you wolfie,now you can learn from this discuss too about how to handle this problem.Many thanks for your empathy.