I donot know why my three years relationship with a canadian man end like this?

October 20, 2012 12:40pm CST
I met him in one Web by accident and we chated almost half a year with the yahoo messager.Later he came to China to meet me from Canada. I was so moved at that time and we decided to be together. We loved each other and i felt a lot of happiness i never had in my life.After he stayed in China one month and he came back Canada.We kept in touch with the phone several times a day.He told me his schedule everyday and talked to me in the skype.He promised to marry me after my university study finish.I told my family about him and my parents are agaist us,but i did not care and fight with my parents,because of him. Every year he came back China once and we were so happy to be with each other.We kept this relationship almost 3 years. Last year, we decided to marry and we bought the ring for each other. When he came back China,We checked what kind of document for marriage in China.Unfortunately, China goverment needs the unmarriage prove from his enbassy,but he did not bring it. we called his embassy in China here and they said cannot provide it and ask him to go back Canada to make it.So we did not marry successfully. All our sweet love changed, because of this baby. At that time, i was pregnant. When he knew i was pregnant,he got very mad and said i made this baby by purpose. Actually,i did not do any protection and hope to have a baby with him. I donot know why he did not want this baby. From that,we argued all the time and even donot talked each other for one month. He wanted me to go to hospital to do abortion, but i insist to have this baby. Then he had no choice and said he go back to Canada to make unmarriage prove to come back marry me. But the God played to us,his passport has alreay expired and we didnot know.Because of passport ,it causes a lot of problems. Then he said if he can make the visa to China successfully when he came back China. Then we can keep this baby,otherwise do abortion. I was waiting for this answer every second when he went back Canda. After one week he told me, the visa to China was rejected. He asked me and pushed to me to take out of this baby.At that time, the baby almost exisit in my belly 3 months and i was so happy to be a monther soon. But what he said make me sad and cried every day every moment. I said if you decide donot want this baby,and it means our relationship will finish. But he did not care and said this was my baby and if i insist to let the baby bored, i can not find him any more. I pleased him thousand times and just let this baby bored and all my life followed him. He kept silent and later did not answer my call and text,email. Suddenly my life was so insecure and hopeless.My family knew about this baby and his attitude, all or them drived to take out this baby. I was so so sad,crazy and suffered every monment.All the time,i told myslef he will not ingnore us. But he did not answer my call for one month and i was totally desperate. I wanted to keep this baby by myself, But it is very hard to keep baby by yourself very hard in China.At the end, i went to take this baby out. I regreted about this decision and is suffering every day. After i told he i will go to hospital to take out this baby, he replied me immediately and sent me money for abortion. I disappointed at this man and never believe he treated me like this. I used all my heart to love him and thought he loved me in the same way. i was totally wrong. After abortion, then he said he still love me and want to be with me and marry me. I donot trust him any more and i donot want to be with such a cold bloody man any more. My tears is full of my eyes now. I cannot write more. Sorry, my baby and Forgive me.
3 people like this
12 responses
@jaiho2009 (39034)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
Sorry to hear about this, I almost cried while reading your share. I don't want to blame you for things already done and mistake that can't be corrected by blames or cuss anymore. I only have one question for you- "Do you really want to live with this kind of man?" If you were ask me, I won't dare to live with this kind of person who is very inconsiderate. He only thinks of himself , I know you love him, but then again I wish you will think a thousand times before pushing through another mistake.
2 people like this
@adnileb (5034)
• Philippines
20 Oct 12
You aborted the baby?? Why oh why did you not take into consideration the life that should be born? What's the true reason why you did this? Is it because of the guy or your hard life in China?
1 person likes this
21 Oct 12
I regret too much to make this terrible decision and now i am still suffering . I donot know how to say.Before,i think i did abortion and can keep this man, but now i donot want to be this man any more.And too much trouble here to have baby for unmarried woman.It is hard to tell.
@adnileb (5034)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
It should become a lesson for you. You should consider next time the life you are going to take. The baby has nothing to do with your problem. Maybe you should find a better man and do not be that man again. Such a selfish man. Hope you are okay by now and may God forgive you with what you have done.
@maximax8 (27048)
23 Oct 12
The beginning of your discussion was so lovely. It delighted me hearing how the Canadian man visited you in China and when apart kept in close contact with you using modern technology. It seemed like he loved you dearly and that you were with the man of your dreams. He seemed like your husband for the future and he should have come to marry you sooner. I have no idea why he reacted so badly to the news of your pregnancy. It was awful he forced you into aborting your baby. You are totally right to be disappointed with that man and sorry that you had an abortion. I feel very sorry for you having been treated like that. The Canadian man should have married you and become a loving daddy. He is a silly idiot and your baby was aborted because of his nasty attitude. I know you wish you could turn back time and not meet him. He has wasted three years of your life. I hope you will find the ideal man in the future that will treat you in an excellent way. Good luck.
1 person likes this
24 Oct 12
I totally trusted him a lot and believed him love me so much before,but the rearity tells me that he just loves himself and so cold bloody. Before he said i am the last woman he meet in his life and cannot live without me all the time.He treated me very sweet before and never thought he hurted me like this way. In his mind, he thought no matter what he did to me, i will never leave him. Now we broke up and he said i got another guy, that is why i broke up with him. He never regret what he did and his maitake. And he said i ruined our relationship.My heart is bleeding. I loved this man with all my heart and sacrisfice for him a lot. How come like this. I never believe the love from man month now. They donot know what is the love. Even until now,he says he still love me. Then i asked and doubt him, then he said love do nothing with my abortion. When your man didnot care what you wants and your health and hurt you heart ,he says he loves you,you believe. It is very rediculous. I feel ashamed of my life,because him and mymistake.
1 person likes this
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
21 Oct 12
You post is so sad , I dindt miss a word . No one can blame you for your decision because we all make mistakes in our life . I cant believe he dont want a baby and it would be hard for you to have the baby in china , maybe never get marry . Life can be so unfair and hurtful , I dont know how can he be mad at you for having a baby . I have heard of men being like that , upset when a woman get pregnant . I cant understand what could be the reason . I hope you get some emotional support from your family and your baby has forgiven you . God know your heart and know you were face with a difficult decision and you wanted to do what was right and beneficial for the one you love and yourself . Take care
1 person likes this
21 Oct 12
I donot want to post sad story to make the people sad here. But i cannot tell any friend about this. You know the rumour is so terrible here. I just express what inside my heart to let me feel better. Until now i still cannot understand why he did not want to keep this baby. I know i should not take out of this baby in any situation. At that time, i hesitate a lot. i should keep or not. I am very guilty and feel so sorry. I cannot help crying when i saw lovely baby.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 12
Just to let you know. It takes two people to make a baby, and he is the one who made the bad choice here. I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that things ended the way they did, but maybe you are much better off without him. If a man didn't love me, or support me, no matter what my decisions, then I would say "forget him", and decide to live my life without him. You don't have to be with a cold, bloody man if you don't want to. You can be with anyone you choose, and it's his loss. You deserve better than this, and I hope that one day you do find someone who loves you for who you are, and who will not treat you poorly.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
I am so sorry to hear about this trajic event. Its just right that you did not continue your relationship with that vulture man. But I hoped to keep the baby, that baby could have made your life more complete and meaningful...but i wish you well...someday you will meet the right person.
• Canada
21 Oct 12
Oh my God. I am very sorry to hear about your situation. You are such a young girl, innocent, and already become a victim from an irresponsible man. I hope you learn the lesson now, too bad you have to learn it the hard way. I just don't understand why you didn't have any protection. You knew that he only came several times, long distance relationship with baby without even marriage, is very difficult and risky. You should have protection before you get married. I do not know China, but I understand that a single mother can be difficult. But abortion is still the wrong way to go. Anyway, now it is time to go forward. Don't look back, and just regret what you've done. Nothing can be brought back. You have to learn from your mistake, and not to do it again. Don't go back to him is the right choice. You are still young, a lot more opportunities, and choices still ahead. Don't burry yourself with regrets. Things are not going to get better if you burry in misery. I also want to remind you that not all man is like that. You just happen to pick the wrong one. There are a lot of good man out there.
1 person likes this
@Raine38 (9031)
• United States
21 Oct 12
Why did you do it? I know nobody is helping you or supporting you now, but do you honestly think that by killing the baby that you really want to have will solve everything? What were you thinking when you had abortion? Whether you had an abortion or not, that man will never come back to you anymore because he is a heartless jerk. Had the baby lived, there is at least one person in the world who could have loved you unconditionally. I am so sorry to hear your situation and your troubles, and I am no expert when it comes to how things are there in your country, but I hope you learn a lot from this experience. Be strong for yourself. Now you know that you cannot rely on your family when you get in trouble, so better make something for yourself so you wouldn't have to rely to them. As for that man, do you really think he can love you sincerely, when he doesn't even have a hint of remorse to kill his own flesh and blood? Just think about it.
1 person likes this
@lmpalco (89)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
Sorry to hear your story. But you shouldn't aborted the baby.. That's an Angel, Maybe God gave it to you for a reason, you don't know yet but eventually you'll understand why. But we can't do anything anymore, it just gave you a one big lesson. To deeply know the people around you, do not trust anybody but yourself, You should have saved a little for your self. Do not give everything when your inlove.
@joliefille (3697)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
Oh em gee. I am so sorry to hear about your sad story. No one should have to go through something like that. I think you should've communicated well with him if he ever wanted a baby or not. It doesn't seem right that only one party wants a baby and the other doesn't. Thus, that's where your point of conflict started. Be well and stay strong. No matter what other people say you are accountable for your actions.
@jenny1015 (13391)
• Philippines
21 Oct 12
You should have kept the baby. I am sorry if I sounded badly but I think you owe that child a life. Anyway, your boyfriend just proved how unworthy he is. I am sure you will find someone who will love you unconditionally and would not be afraid to take responsibility.
@koopharper (6353)
• Canada
21 Oct 12
What a horrible thing to have to go through. I personally wouldn't trust him either. I would doubt the sincerity of his love. It's sad that you didn't have family support to do what you wanted and thought was right.