I Am A Little Concerned...

Lenox, Georgia
October 23, 2012 8:37pm CST
For the first time in eight years we have been together my husband has a cold sore. I kissed him and then I saw it on his lip, a small bump and I realized what it was. My first concern is that he has never had them before! My second concern is am I going to get them now too? I have never had them before either but now I am worried that I might get them! If it is Herpes, has he done something to behind my back to get this cold sore? I am confused...Help!
2 people like this
16 responses
@shaggin (39834)
• United States
24 Oct 12
He could have drank after someone who had one and gotten it that way. But if he doesnt drink after other people I would jump to the conclusion as well that he cheated. I hope that is not the case. Keep us posted. Talk to him about it and do some research online. I think they can lie dormant so if he had them ever as teens and hes been sick lately I think they can come back out. I really dont know for sure though.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105498)
• United States
24 Oct 12
You are correct, the virus can lie dormant and show back up when the body is stressed. He could have unknowingly come in contact with something on a spoon in a break room or something. Herpes viruses can lie dormant for years and years. That is just like people who have had chickenpox can develop shingles because of the dormant virus. They are also herpes viruses.
• Lenox, Georgia
24 Oct 12
He has been sick and stressed out a lot lately which I read that those things can cause it too. Phew! And he has gotten them before he just told me after we talked about it. I am glad I did some research and your also right that he could have gotten it as a child and it was dormant for a while, it said on the site that can happen. It just worried me since he has never had one in the 8 years we have been together and married. I just really hope I do not get one! =(
1 person likes this
• China
24 Oct 12
I think it will make no sense just to keep thinking of that,firstly I think you should take your husband to hospital to cure it then you can find not what it is,if it really is that kind of virus,and I think you need to have a long talk with your husband deeply,then you can make your decision at that time.
1 person likes this
• Lenox, Georgia
25 Oct 12
My husband did not do anything wrong, it was a different kind. And my husband will not go to the hospital for any reason unless he is bleeding or dying so taking him to the doctor is impossible. It is a cold sore, and I looked it up and it said he probably got it as a child and if he gets sick which he was recently it can flare up again which it did... That is all it was, nothing a hospital can do for it...
• United States
24 Oct 12
I recently had one big nasty one on my lip. and it was gross and I was shamed to be seen with that. I don't cheat for one and for two I don't drink from anyone or eat off anyones spoon or fork. I can't ever say I ate off my mans fork or spoon. so,I have no clue how I got it. I would not think adrain cheated on me if I saw him with one either.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105498)
• United States
24 Oct 12
He could have had the virus and it has been lying dormant for a long time. It may not necessarily be a cold sore either. He also could have possibly come in contact with something that was already contaminated. If the sore is not leaking fluid, you may not get infected. I get sores in my mouth but they are not cold sores. They come from stress usually.
• Lenox, Georgia
24 Oct 12
He said as a teenager he used to get them a lot. So yeah it was probably just dormant for a while. He has been stressed and he just got over the worst sickness I have ever seen him have so I guess I shouldn't be surprised by it. Hopefully I will not get it! Especially because I don't want to pass it to our children, I kiss them all the time... =(
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (105498)
• United States
24 Oct 12
Yes, the stress in general and then an illness can cause them to show back up. I like a b complex with c vitamin to take under those conditions as it helps them heal faster. I am glad you realize it does not automatically mean he has done something he should not have. You guys are too important to each other to have those kinds of doubts.
• Lenox, Georgia
24 Oct 12
It was just a crazy, automatic thought because I was reading on it and it said Herpes, so I kind of freaked out. But then I started this, and then read some more and it said being sick and stressed could cause them to come back also and I felt better! I don't really think he would do anything to hurt me...
• China
26 Oct 12
You needn't be over anxious.He was probably affected with high fever after catching a cold.Sometimes,there may be a sore throat from a cold.
• Lenox, Georgia
31 Oct 12
Thanks, I was worrying for no reason. He is fine.
• China
1 Nov 12
You are welcome! That is great!
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
24 Oct 12
I think it's a slightly different virus than Herpes but I could be wrong. I wouldn't worry about it though.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
24 Oct 12
It is a strain of herpes and contactract through person to person, or person to object. But not as *serious* as the other types of herpes, it's like the common cold.
• Lenox, Georgia
29 Oct 12
Yeah it went away already and he was sick so its not surprising that he got one. I was just being silly for a few minutes. I know he would never do anything to hurt me...
24 Oct 12
No, this doesn't necessarily mean he had an affair with someone.I had this problem.It sometimes indicates a weak immune system.Creams can make your husband lips look better, but it will come back every year, in wintertime or even in spring.It's an annoying virus and is actually incurable, but you can make it "sleep" when you strengthen your immune system.Avoid stress, forget junk food and sleep enough.Take care of yourself.
• Lenox, Georgia
25 Oct 12
Yeah your absolutely right. I only figured that out after I started this discussion. I did some research and I know now that he could have gotten this as a child and when he was sick recently it flared back up. I know he would never hurt me like that, it was just a stupid crazy thought for a minute. I am back in sane mode now and I know it's all good. =)
25 Oct 12
Thank God, good luck to you both.
@AmbiePam (50449)
• United States
1 Nov 12
LOL, people get cold sores all the time. It's the herpes virus, but not like herpes you get from an STD. My dad gets them all the time. He takes Lysine to get rid of them.
• Lenox, Georgia
1 Nov 12
Yeah I know, blond moment I suppose! Lol. Once I read more I realized I was thinking of the wrong thing! Ugh, stupid me...
@toniganzon (53688)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
If you would get them, then your husband got herpes from somebody else. But if it's just ordinary cold sores brought about by lack of vitamin C or too much exposure to the sun, then you won't get infected. They said women's instinct are too strong sometimes, but I don't want to dwell on my instinct alone. Just observe what's going to happen. Knowing you and how you talk about your husband, i don't think he's capable of fooling around.
• Lenox, Georgia
31 Oct 12
I never got it and it went away already which I am glad about! I was worrying for nothing because I was reading about the wrong virus! Lol. He got it because he was really sick and stressed out, the two main reasons people get them. I know he isn't really capable of hurting me like that, it was just a quick worry that crossed my mind. I know it was silly now.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
25 Oct 12
Hope you dont catch it too make sure he take care of it before you go making out now . Maybe he has done something are just happen to kiss someone that has it could just be a friend .
• Lenox, Georgia
29 Oct 12
I didn't catch it, and it's already gone. Thank goodness. I just got worried when I read things about it. But I was reading the about the wrong virus. He hasn't kissed anyone except for me.
@thesids (22351)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Oct 12
I dont have much of idea on this one for sure. But as a person and friend, I would suggest that right now, the path of action should be finding a cure. The suspicion and doubts can wait and maybe they never existed. So stay calm and take care of yourself and family first.
• Lenox, Georgia
29 Oct 12
Yeah, it went away already and he is fine. I was just worried for a few minutes and started this discussion but it is all good now! Thanks for being concerned. =)
• China
24 Oct 12
i suggest you can take it more easily,just don't make a big deal about it,maybe it is just a small bump,it is not that serious ...and a couple of days later, it will disappeared..
• Lenox, Georgia
25 Oct 12
Well, something that is a big deal to you might not be to others and vise versa. I did research and it is not a big deal but the point is, things that are a big deal to me might not be to you. And things you think are a big deal might not be to me...
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
27 Nov 12
I know I'm a bit late here, but isn't it great when we have myLot as a sounding board? I think I get moments like these too, when I panic, and I need a few people to sit me down, and tell me like it is. That I don't need to panic, and that all I need is more information. Glad that the cold sore was just that (and not something else 'behind your back').
• United States
27 Oct 12
Well the most important part of a relationship is trust. So trust your husband until you other wise see that he is lieing. You should always make sure your suspicions are correct before you accuse. So talk to your husband try to find out how he got it and then attempt to cure the sore.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
24 Oct 12
Now I wonder what people think of me, since I get them all the time and I usually have them for weeks. For me I am the only one in my family who gets them, and I get them when I'm stressed, when my immune system goes down i.e. cold, etc, also when the weather changes. But yes if you kiss someone, swap spit, drinks, even lipchap your likely to get them. I know I borrowed my friends Blistex and I pulled out a mini q tip container. She thought I was nuts but it can spread by contact. My friend never had cold sores before, and then she got ne. She called me up panicking. I thought it was hilarious, but again something someone with a cold sore touched, then you touch you lips.
• United States
24 Oct 12
It's the herpes 1 virus. Just about everyone has been exposed at one time or another. It's not sexually transmitted. Herpes II is sexuat transmitted. These two viruses are essentially identical except for where they form. They come out when the immune system is lowered for whatever reason. I have one on each side of my mouth right now. They came back out after being so sick for so long. It's kind of like mono. Everyone or almost everyone has it but never knows it. My daughter's doc told us that this was why her spleen was enlarged due to mono. I told the doc she never had it. And that is what he told me. It's similar with herpes 1. We are almost always are exposed to it. It's similar with herpes in that we are almost always exposed to it in some way. All it takes is a lowered immune system to bring it on.