I'm being slandered by some relatives

Malaysia
October 23, 2012 10:08pm CST
When I visited a relative recently, she said something that made me really angry. I found out that someone, amongst, my father's relatives has been actively slandering me. So, I asked this aunt A; Who is responsible for spreading such rumours. A said B said it (my aunt A telling me another aunt, B, is responsible for it). So, I confronted B and she said "NO", she never did anything foolish, even to the extent of saying she's always the one advising other relatives. Then A's husband, my uncle called me, saying B actually did say it. B spread the rumours and asked those whom she told to keep quiet about it. Both aunts are my relatives. So, who should I believe? I don't think I can trust any of them anymore. Now that I've caught them, I found out they are liars...each is trying to safe her own face. Instead of telling lies, it would be better to just admit their mistakes and apologize to me but instead they choose to make the situation more complicated. So, what do you think mylotters? Why do some people like to exaggerate other people's problems? Instead of supporting me, it is like they're hoping for my downfall.
3 people like this
21 responses
@jenny1015 (13388)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
They must be envious of what you have or what have you become. Sometimes it is really the cause of broken bridges among relatives. My advice to you, not to be disturbed with these kind of people because the fact that they are talking behind your back means you are way ahead of them!
• Malaysia
24 Oct 12
Hi jenny, I don't feel anything special about my life. I really don't think they should be envious of me. I am not even a millionaire, why should they be jealous of me. I think they are just plainly evil people. If they think I am not capable of cutting ties with them, then this time they've chosen the wrong person. I wonder just how many people have fallen into their traps. It is not worth my time to even consider reconciling with them. I do not trust them anymore and despite my uncle's explanation and effort to cool me down, I don't feel they genuinely regret their doings. Thanks for responding.
@jenny1015 (13388)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
I am sorry about that. But I guess, there are just people who doesn't have else to do but to talk about other people for their own amusement. I hope you'll get over this.
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
I am sorry that your own relatives are gossiping about you. I've also experience this with one of my cousins. Gossiping is the cheapest way to make pull people down. People gossip for two reasons : First,they are green with envy so they put you by gossiping.Second,they are bored with their lives and the cheapest hobby they can do is gossiping. The best thing revenge is success. Ignore him work hard and be successful.
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
I mean, the best revenge is success. Ignore them,work hard and be successful.
@romzee (938)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
It's too disappointing sometimes that you're relatives are the one making fake rumors about you. Too bad we can choose are relatives... If the same thing happens to me, I'll probably shrugs it off and I will never go down to their level. Confronting them will just satisfy their negative natures. Cheers and happy mylotting!
@romzee (938)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
err... "too bad we can't choose our relatives"
@emerillus (477)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
I'm sorry this has happened to you. They, your relatives, of all people would hope for your downfall, when in times of need, financial especially, they would turn to you or your family. I don't understand sometimes why relatives are like that. They should support and be proud of their own clan, not spread around rumors and things that destroy your reputation. They know they are in the wrong, so best wait for them to apologize to you.
• Malaysia
2 Nov 12
Hi emerillus, I don't dream of them apologizing to me. They're too chicken and arrogant to admit their own mistakes. How they have talked and talked and to what extent behind my back...then when I caught them, I gave them the ultimatum..."I do not recognize them as my relatives anymore". The explanation I received from my uncle did not even sound like they regret their doing. But it's ok because what comes around, goes around. I am sure some day, God will teach them a lesson. I rather stay away from these people at the moment. Thank you for responding.
@prashu228 (25490)
• India
24 Oct 12
oh, why people act like that? why don't they just bother about themselves. yes we find such relatives who are just more interested in others lives and never apologize for that, we should recognize such people and be far from them. Just don't consider them ,my friend. They never agree what they did. Its better we be far from such people.
• Malaysia
2 Nov 12
Hi prashu, I think the best thing for me to do now is not to get too close to them. My uncle's daughter is getting married this month and the reason he called me was to get me to attend his daughter's wedding. I will become a "superstar" if I attend his daughter's wedding since they, the slanderers (how many of them, I'm not even sure) have done so much damage to my reputation. No wonder I get a weird glance from some of my relatives. This is why in Christianity, the ninth commandment teaches us "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour" which is a prohibition on all types of lying (intentionally or unintentionally). What comes around, goes around...thanks for responding.
@ardieboi (195)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
That's because they're jealous of you. Most people who make things up about you are probably envious of who you are or what you do or how happy you are. You must not let yourself be surrounded by people who want to bring you down. That just goes to show you are above them since they want to bring you down. Am i not right?
• Malaysia
24 Oct 12
Hi ardie, I too suspect someone or a group of people there are trying to pull me down. Just why are they so interested in my life, I have no idea. I hardly talk or meet them, not close with them but they seem/ claim to know everything about my life. Pheww! now I know I am so famous in their circles. They have nothing else better to do except delight and gossip about other people's misfortune. Well, what comes around goes around..they'll certainly be punished for their evil deeds. These people can just count me out from their family record. I do not wish to have any relation with them. Thanks for responding.
• United States
24 Oct 12
I would curse both of them out and they would feel like crap when I was done with them. this way you don't have to know which one said what about you. as far as I can see they both deserve their azz handed to them for being nasty like this to family.
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
That's the irony of life. Sometimes, some of our own relatives are the one who will hoping our downfall instead of supporting us and lift us up.I think you better to be distant with them for this time for your own sake and peaceful life. Do not be affected with those rumors. Thank God I am blessed with those lovable and very supporting aunts.
@maurya83 (923)
• India
25 Oct 12
Hi Micha, I am sorry this happened to you but my suggestion is- let bygones be bygones. You know, I have experienced the same thing and did the same as you did but found nothing, it just affected me. There is no point in finding answers of questions like who said what? why they are hoping for your downfall? etc. etc. Think logically, what would you do if you got who said whatever rumours about you, thats the human nature dear and you can not change it. Think,how the successful people maintain their success because they dont waste their time in finding out answers for these kind of questions. Micha, I am telling you from my personal experience, there is nothing in such things, Life is too short dont waste it. Have faith in yourself, you have the potential explore it and dont expect others to be your supporter, only you can be your greater supporter because only you know who you are really. Cut out all this crap from your life. Dont be affected, just face the things with grace, learn from them and move on..
@Mattxu (62)
• China
25 Oct 12
In my opinion, you should be calm on what your relatives have done. I'm doubt about that why your relatives want to slander you. Anyway, they are your relatives, you shouldn't have an animus against your relatives. you know, not all the relatives have a high quality. They don't have gotten a high education and they only want to make themselves happy. They may be the sort of people who you look down on, but you have the same strain with them, you can't change it. It has been written in your life, you need to accept it. The most important thing is thay you need to keep calm.
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
It is sad but people like them exist. There are people who are naturally envious. They are not happy with their own lives and wish other people's downfalls. That is the only explanation. It is not your doing that they are like that. It is inherent in them to be jealous. Just continue striving, time will come that they will get what they deserve.
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
25 Oct 12
i really wouldn't let it get to you. if they lie like that chances are their known for being liars and they can't be trusted or their reputation is less credible to say the least.
@laydee (12812)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
That is typical for relatives and you should learn that by now. Relatives are the closest enemies you could have and worst, they are good in front of you but are different behind your back. I for one know that my aunts and relatives talk about me behind my back and I don't really mind as long as they don't step on my toes. But I guess your relatives just did. I wouldn't talk to them anymore, if I were you. Regardless how old they are or much older they are from you, you deserve apologies. The good old "silent treatment" is best in this scenario. Stop visiting and stop talking to them. At least this time around, you wouldn't have to worry about another bunch of people because they aren't worth your time. Have a great mylot experience ahead!
• China
25 Oct 12
I totally understand u. Some of my relatives like doing the same thing like urs. When I was in love with my boyfriend(now my husband), they considered him as a guy who is not as rich as they want so he is not treated well. They were starting spreading rumours to my father and mother, after long-time infected, my parents' attitude changed. Because of this, my husband and I have sufferred a very miserable period for about 2 years. I have those relatives who slander us, I don't understand what they r thinking about. Fortunately, our love comes to a happy ending now due to our adherence.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
24 Oct 12
Some family members are just as bad as complete strangers and sometimes worse. I would not know who to believe but one thing I would know for sure is that they are both involved and I will try my best to stay away from them . I would not trust any of them if I was you . I agree with you it would have been better if they had just admit their wrong and apologize .
@GemmaR (8526)
24 Oct 12
It can be very hard when you hear that people who are supposed to love and respect you have been treating you in this way, and one of the things that you have to do is to talk to the person who is supposed to have said these things just to see if it is true or not. If it is not true then you need to see why people are trying to cause trouble for you, and if it is true you need to try and sort things out with the person who said it, because it is never good for the people in a family to have two of the members arguing or not liking each other.
@estremms (324)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
Gossips are free for all. It's the easiest and inexpensive recreation that's why even our relatives spread rumors without thinking that they're talking about their own blood.
24 Oct 12
My mother always told me that "misery likes company." It is also likely that they have issues with differences - you don't fit into their mold and they may not approve of your actions, friends, choices, etc. It makes sense that they would not support you and instead hope for your downfall, as this would give them something else to gossip about. I wouldn't let any of their behavior affect you, I wouldn't even confront them about the gossip - that gives them too much power and attention to their negative behavior. Make sure that when you are around them, you comment on all the positive experiences you are having and how wonderful your life is.
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
24 Oct 12
I a word, immaturity. That is the simplest answer to your question of why people behave the way your aunts have. I think you should calmly and respectfully tell each of them that regardless of where the talk started, neither of them should have participated and that you are very disappointed that two women you look up to as elders have chosen to behave badly instead of looking out for you the way family members should.
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
24 Oct 12
I would tell them both to stay out of your life. No one needs people like that around. Id also stop seeing them. You dont need them. Havea great day there. See you here soon.