How to get on well with your parents-in-law

@antilove (191)
Vietnam
October 24, 2012 9:41pm CST
Hi every body! Nice to chat with you again. If you are married, can you share how to get on well with your parents-in-law? I find it difficult because there are something different from my home when I haven't got married. Can you, especially the married women, suggest me what to do? Thank you so much!
7 responses
@adnileb (5017)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
I am not yet married, but I have been with my FUTURE in-laws. I go to their province once a year for vacation. The first time I went there, I was so shy. Couldn't talk much and couldn't move so freely. For me, it's like being to a one house in which you don't really know the people and turns out that you play an innocent role for a moment. My advice would be simple. Just get to know them. Let them speak to you and tell you stories then laugh with them. It's like wanting to have a friend when you are alone on your first of college. After so much bonding with them, you will eventually have a good relationship with them. Just be yourself.
1 person likes this
@antilove (191)
• Vietnam
25 Oct 12
Thanks adnileb! I was in the same situation like you. I can't do anything so freely, feeling them like strangers. Your advice may help me a lot. I will try to talk with them, laugh with them, spend more time with them. Hope things will be better then! Thanks again!
@adnileb (5017)
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
Of course it will get better. Do not overdo things just to get their attention. Just be yourself. Good luck!
@caopaopao (1044)
• China
25 Oct 12
Every one who got married will find the parents-in-law are different from their own parents. If we want to get on well with them, we must try to accept them, as it's impossible for us to change their habbits which they already have many years. So my advice is : try to accept them, never try to change them, try to be kind to them, try to do things for them. I believe man's nature is good, if you are kind to others, they will be kind to you, too.
1 person likes this
@antilove (191)
• Vietnam
25 Oct 12
Thanks caoPaoPao! That is helpful advice. Accept the parents-in-law as what they are, and try to be kind to them. I think I can do this. Thanks again!
@GemmaR (8527)
25 Oct 12
I think that your parents in law can be the most important people in your life, because it is vital that you get on with them for the sake of your partner. It can be hard to get on well with your partner if you don't like their parents, because it will create a little bit of tension between the two of you. I like my parents in law, and I think that the best thing to would be to try not to offend them and just be nice to them, even if you have to pretend that this is the case just to make sure that there isn't any trouble.
@mikyung (2235)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
Its because my wife stays alone during at night and she needs someone and it's been a month now that we have her parents in our house. I can say that things went on tough initially, but as time goes by, everything went on smoothly.We now share the same food, they will seat beside me and talk on the things that transpired during the time when I'm away. I hope I can spend some more time with them. Thanks
@Raine38 (8909)
• United States
25 Oct 12
I have a very good relationship with my in-laws. And actually, I did nothing but just be myself and regard them as I would my own parents. Also, it would help to think that they are the reasons why I am happy now with my husband, they brought up a really good man. Also, do not get too close for comfort. It wouldn't be healthy if both of you will be constantly in each others' way. Like what a famous song says, even lovers need a holiday. Of course it would be difficult if you and your husband would live in his patents' house. That is why I think one factor is the distance. Be far enough to miss them but not too far to alienate them from your lives.
@aejey322 (1006)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
I also have the same problem actually... It's really difficult to have an in-law especially if your spouse is their favorite child because they tend to get jealous of the attention. And coming from different upbringings, you will also clash in your beliefs on what to do and what not to do in a certain situation. I actually have not encountered any misdealings with them yet. Maybe because I just simply ignored what they are saying. Or because I just simply listened to them as a sign of respect, then making myself decide if I follow them or not.
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
Getting along with the in laws might be difficult sometimes coz whether you admit it or not, there is a "small" competition always over some issues like on how to raise up the kids, how to decorate the house, how much food should be served during meals. Well, these things I have encountered over my 17 years of marriage. Although my in laws and I never had any verbal truce, I could feel that sometimes she would just reiterate on certain matters. I sometimes pisses me off. I am not the kind of person who would be shouting at a person if I do not get my way. But out of respect to my in laws, most especially my mother in law, I just nod on certain things she wanted her way. I try to put reason to everything that she says even if sometimes she sounded like just like a crazy person trying to make me feel bad. So I suggest, "If you can;t beat them, join them."