its hard to find help..
By jmchan1230
@jmchan1230 (35)
October 25, 2012 6:56am CST
why is it that when i am the one in need no one would help me specially when it comes to financial problems. when i was young we are not that rich but we have more than enough my family helps extended family members like my second degree aunties and uncles cousins and so on and so as long as they need help and we have it we will share it to them then the wheel of fortune roll and now we are the ones whose struggling financially we are broke then nobody wants to help us. i asked the help of my cousin whom before when she's studying she doesn't have money for her uniform then my mom provide her help then now she's a full pledge engineer based in Singapore i asked for help then she didn't help me back. i am not asking for too much i didn't even mention any amount... life is really really hard. for me lesson learned learn how to save so that you don't need to lean on others and to those people whom i asked for help and dindt even care to respond may the good lord bless you more.
2 people like this
14 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
25 Oct 12
I can only admit that I also helped out many people but if it comes to it nobody helps me, not even giving me a listening ear. I think in my case the problem is I always was able to help myself. This means nobody takes you serious if you say you need some help (since you always helped them out so you are a strong person).
The lesson I learned is: only give money if you can really miss it! So save for yourself first. Don't expect help back if you are in need since nobody will give it to you! Don't borrow money but most of all: don't give money to family or friends. It will ruin the relationships you have and end it all.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
30 Oct 12
so true. they can't believe that you yourself are also human and some things will also overwhelm you and you would appreciate being heard, if that's the only thing they can offer. it's hard not to help family and friends so while it's easier to only give what you can afford to lose, it also means they will not help you as much when you turn to them.
@eagle2lie (54)
• China
25 Oct 12
Once upon a time i got beleve there is true heart with people helping each other,now i deeply doubt it since a shameful incident happened.I had a friend once we got very close ,we came from the same town and often hung out together.As his family was too poor to have him study in the school when we were all little kids,my father often offered him money and never ask rewards,later on we all grew up,he became a manager in a big foreign company and got rich and I ran a little bookstore business in the town.Since then he had gotten more and more away even not took my calling,i didnt understand why untill another friend told me:he is always afraid i will lean on him about financial request due to ever help to him by my father..oh my!i could never think about that..
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
Hi Jmchan
First of oll, i would like to welcome you here in mylot!i hope you get to enjoy the site. i have been for four years and so far, I am really enjoying the site.This has been paid me since I started. I hope this will help you on your financial needs.I can't promise you that you will get a big amount here but if you combine all your earnings here in the site, it is quite big. you can do task, you can attach image to your discussion. you can use mylot as a search engine to make an additional income.the best thing to do is to post and respond to discussions. i love your first post. it has a quality. your earnings will be updated tomorrow night. i hope you get to enjoy the site.never hessitate to ask me if you have other concerns.
First of oll, i would like to welcome you here in mylot!i hope you get to enjoy the site. i have been for four years and so far, I am really enjoying the site.This has been paid me since I started. I hope this will help you on your financial needs.I can't promise you that you will get a big amount here but if you combine all your earnings here in the site, it is quite big. you can do task, you can attach image to your discussion. you can use mylot as a search engine to make an additional income.the best thing to do is to post and respond to discussions. i love your first post. it has a quality. your earnings will be updated tomorrow night. i hope you get to enjoy the site.never hessitate to ask me if you have other concerns.
@hestylim (1210)
• Indonesia
25 Oct 12
i can understand how you feel because it happened to me too... i always help people in my surroundings like friends and family when i can.. but when i am in the position that needs help.. it is hardly comes one person to help..
for that reason i learn to stand on my own feet.. though i am struggling right now.. it is okay..
hope everything will be alright with you :)
@jmchan1230 (35)
•
26 Oct 12
thanks but to tell you honestly im really not ok but hope to get better soon... im really sad and depressed right now.
@murkie (1103)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
i can relate to your story. it happens to me sometimes. i guess that's just the way it is. you will help some people, and when the time comes they won't even look back on you. what's worse is that if they ask for help and you couldn't provide enough (though you are willing if only you have the means) they would still get mad at you for not giving enough.
anyway, it's not wise to be collecting face-to-face about the help you gave your cousin. just let her be. it's up to her if she would somehow return the favor or not.
@jmchan1230 (35)
•
25 Oct 12
thanks for responding.. yes its really hard then there are also times when i asked help to other family members who are based abroad when they saw that you are getting close to that person they will contact it and tell them bad things about you and your family.
1 person likes this
@murkie (1103)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
hmm.. maybe that relative has grudge against your family. plain jealousy and insecurity could be part of it too. or maybe there was a time when they ask you for something and you failed to help them enough. whatever the reason, just act normal. maybe you could tell that to your most trusted relative so that at least somebody listens to your side of the story.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
25 Oct 12
I do agree that it is hard to find help at times, but you have to understand that times are hard at the moment and not everybody is able to give financial help to those who need it. I know that it is a shame but it is just something that is happening right now. One of the good things about being in trouble is that you really do get to find out who your friends are. You will find out who is there for you when you need them, and this lesson is well worth learning, and almost worth being in trouble for as it is good to know who your true friends are.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
31 Oct 12
That could be really heart-breaking when you expect someone to help you and doesn't. Well, we could not have any hold on what they can do or would do. So, yes, it is better to always to set aside money for future needs.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
25 Oct 12
I understand how you feel,happened to me also. When i am single, working and receiving high salary most of relatives knows me and always asking for financial help, but when my father got sick and needs financial help no one from my relatives are available to help us. Good thing that my husband help us and support my father medicines up to now. Now that were in good shape again they always calling us and trying to be nice but most of the time i avoided their calls because i can't forget what they have done to us.
@gpldeguzman (168)
• Qatar
25 Oct 12
I can relate to your sentiments as it also happened to me. I find it several times that whenever somebody needs my help, be it a relative or not,even if it is my last money, I would willingly help but when my turns come, it is very difficult to find help. Eventhough it happened to me I still do the same thing. Anyway,the lessong in this situation is that we should really learn to say no once in a while and we should save for our emergency situations.
@kelvinooi (20)
• Malaysia
26 Oct 12
Yeah i feel you. Money is a very sensitive issue, moreover if you come from chinese family. Well, we've been blessed with a good brain and talents and if use what we are good at somehow doors will eventually open and we can use our gifts to earn a living. That's what i'm doing now. hehe
@suejef88 (2)
• Malaysia
25 Oct 12
HI, I have same problem that you are having. I know that is hard for you to face the fact that no one wants to help you when you are having some problem.This Is life. Everybody just thunk of themselves and not even care for others even your own relatives.For me, When I helped someone I didnt ask for return but just to think of it as favour and someday god will repay you with a good price because of what you have done.Maybe not based on financial,but see the other side,you still might have your family and God may repay your kindess with something also.Just think Positive and you will be fine.
@iMamom (321)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
I know how you feel, i do often make sure i have enough for self and family. Its not about being selfish, its just preparing for times you may need it, but i also gave charities food or even my last money if needed and dont expect something in return because i know god will make sure i will have something the next day. It happens to me often times. Helping others in so many different ways will paid off. Once you help dont expect for a return just a piece of advice.
