Are you obliged to payback for your parents' responsibility?

Pasay, Philippines
October 26, 2012 2:13am CST
Are your parents obliging you to pay back for the responsibilities and obligations they have done to you when you were a kid? Just because your parents work hard too much just to send you in school, then now you are working they are now asking for the charge. What is your stand regarding this matter? Especially if they are forcing you to pay back for the obligations that they have done? I've already read some horrible stories from other forums on how other parents obliging their children to pay back after they graduated and found a work. Many people have posted including me that it is not really an obligation for a children to pay back for the obligations that the parents have. They can just do it in initiative manner more so that is the reflection on how were you able to handle your children. My stand here is children are not investment and parents should have been saving for their future retirement no matter how hard it is. If they want to have a child then they should be responsible with it and they should not use them for their business.
14 responses
• United States
26 Oct 12
My father worked hard every day of his life for 25 years at a job that he hated put money away for his retirement bought stocks for his retirement because that was what all the people were saying to do that the stock market was where the money was at. He had a 401K and when the world went to hell in a hand basket so did his retirement. Now my father works at odd jobs and sells his home made log furniture and when the day comes that my father is no longer able to support himself you better darn well believe I will be there for him and the reason for that is simple if it was not for my father I would not be here. I would do the same for my mother as well. A good parent makes sacrafices for their children and suffer at the hands of their children the least that the child can do is later on in life pay the parents back for all that they gave to provide you with a good life. My parents have given me money before and every time I try to pay them back they never take it. When the day comes that my dad takes my money I will gladly give it to him as I know he must truly be in need of the money.
1 person likes this
2 Nov 12
my father is too
1 person likes this
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
Wow you are lucky enough of having a good parents that are not asking you to pay back. I could imagine that your parents gave you good influence as a person. Just keep that up.
@anklesmash (1417)
27 Oct 12
I personally don't believe a child is obligated to pay their parents back.This is because I believe parents voluntarily take on the responsibility to provide everything their child needs when they have them.However I do believe that it is the right thing for a child to take care of there parents either practically or financially if the parent needs help and the child is in the position to give the help.If my mum ever was short of money or needed to be cared for I pay if I had the money and ability to do so.
1 person likes this
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
The problem with other parents is that they will work hard then there will be a point that they are going to point out to their children of the hardships they have done to them then yeah that is the time they are going to charge the children. It is like a big torture for a child because it feels like his existence here on earth was about paying back.
@lady1993 (16734)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
That is just awful. parents making their kids pay them back.. forcing them. it is the obligation of parents to take care of their children and raise them to be good people.. But repaying them, should also be done out of love.. not force..
1 person likes this
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
I agree giving paying them and being grateful should be in initiative manner not because they were forced because if they did that then the kid already knew his/her true purpose on earth. It was like he/she is being tortured because he/she is being used for investment.
@auwielady (116)
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
Probably you don't really have the obligation to do so. Just like what my parents told me before, I am starting on a new life. But of course, I have this heart of giving back. I want to show them that I really appreciate what they did for me. Perhaps if we just think about the fact that where we are right now is largely due to their hard-work and dedication, then giving back wouldn't be that hard. However, I'm also quite aware that not everyone here experienced the same love and care that my parents gave me. So rest assured that I respect your opinion of course. :)
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
Not everyone are lucky enough on how their parents influence them the good moral values. I just hate the idea of what others did like expecting their kid to pay back.
@silentwill (1686)
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
No our parents do not oblige us to pay back for sending us to school up to college but I am obliging myself to give back at least a portion of what I earn to them as a form of gratitude.
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
It is really good to have that kind of initiative. There are times if the children don't initiate to give then I believe there is also a little bit problem from the parents.
• Philippines
3 Nov 12
Our parents love us unconditionally, feed us, raise us, send us to school etc. When we start earning our parents may be old enough to retire and for me it is just fitting that it becomes our turn to take care of them and provide for them if we have the means to.
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
I am so blessed with such loving parents. Although I feel uncomfortable sometimes, they do help me with the things that my kids need. I really do not need to ask from them, They just extend their help without asking for anything in return. But of course, I just don;t want to just take everything in without thanking them. I do give them something that I think would be useful for them when I have extra money. And I know that they are thankful for that as well.
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
I could imagine how blessed you are for having wonderful loving parents and they help you with sincerity without letting you feel they are helping. Not all parents are like that. Some of them are really projecting how helpful they are.
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
2 Nov 12
Some parents would be forcing down your throught to help them as soon as you start earning. I mean there should be nothinv wrong to help your aging parents, but to demand everything from you would be too much. You also have your own life and a future to take care,too.
• United States
26 Oct 12
A parent takes on the responsibility for his child when the child was conceive. the child owes nothing to the parent for anything the parent had done. when the parent gets old it would be nice for the child to care for the parent they love so much. after all it is just the cycle going in the right direction. my mother is welcome to live with me when or if she gets to the point she can't do for her self.
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
That is the reason why as parents it is their obligation to influence the children regarding the moral values and respect so that someday it will come to a point that children will be having passionate of returning the favor to them.
@Lucas818 (378)
26 Oct 12
My parents never mention, but sometimes I do feel that I am obliged to pay back, not only finacially, but also physically too. I quit the job I enjoyed and come back to my hometown, in a small city just to be with them, and helping my father running his business. As the eldest among my siblings, I really feel the obligations all the times, but I am not sure what I'm doing is right...
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
I understand what you feel the thinking that you are obliged even if they haven't told you directly. I just don't like the feeling that our existence here on earth has payment. In my case I am disappointed of what I've head from my father that I am ungrateful whereas in my opinion it is not my obligation. He should have been a good father to begin with. If they find it hard to give responsibility for the children then in the first place they have a choice of not having a child.
@wongchoiyee (7342)
• Malaysia
26 Oct 12
No, my father did not but mom was the one who always mention that I haven't do my responsibilities as a daughter to give money to family. But she did not mention a specific amount to be paid, roughly she said is few hundred dollars. I did try my best not because of mom, but I really want to repay their kindness, so I work on jobs, sometimes I quit because I have depression, sometimes I have money I will not give her directly but spend to take her on movies and dinner, sometimes I do buy groceries like eggs, bread, mee, ribenas and toilet paper.
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
Can you tell me the cause of your depression to the extent of the reason why you need to quit job? At times I have depression as well especially if my period is approaching. By the way if your mom is obliging you like that but then is she grateful enough that you are giving to her?
• India
26 Oct 12
Hi friend, my parents don't obliged me to pay for their love and care, but always i will take a lot of care about them and spending for their needs and necessities. As a good son, it is my duty to do so. Our parents did a lot of things for us in our childhood days, it is our duty to take care about them in their old age and fulfill all their honest needs and necessities
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
That is the real love and care that they are not obliging their children to pay back. In the first place it is parents decision that they want to have children so it is their obligation to do the responsibilities. If they want their children to be grateful to them then they must influence the moral values as well.
@eklind (96)
• United States
26 Oct 12
Well my mother worked for 30 years at a job she hated saved invested and lost almost 400K she still can support herself however her health is getting bad and we as her children are already in place and getting the paperwork to take care of her. Her only responsibility is going to be hanging out with her grandkids.
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
There are some instances that children must support their parents especially if the health is already suffering. Children must be considerate enough with that kind of situation.
• Philippines
26 Oct 12
I don't think my parents are the kind who will outright tell me that they want some form of compensation for raising me. It is perfectly true that I raised hell more than they would like and the power play between parents and children will soon find a balance in the coming years. Regarding my parents, I think what they really want is to make most of our lives as their children. That includes giving their opinion on what they think is the best for us in their point of view, which may or may not agree with us as children. As for compensation per se, I think my parents expects it but they won't demand it it from us. In my my culture, a child should at at least be grateful for the sacrifices made by parents but the actual 'payment' can also be as subtle as the expectation. For me, I'll be there for my parents when they need me. Even if it is an annoyance and frustrating on my part, I at least my parents cannot tell me that i was ever ungrateful. I am already grateful that they don't demand it and I do retain an affection for them. In a sense, it is a silent scoreboard on who gave what and what the person contributed. There will be no official acknowledgement but I think both me and my parents are satisfied this way. It is sad that some parents use their children as investment for their own means. But it is another matter if the child itself volunteers the help for some sort of relationship between them.
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
Yes it is really sad for other parents that they need to put their children into pressure just to pay back for the obligations they have done for children. I have read in some forums it was like it is just about money after all.
@GemmaR (8526)
26 Oct 12
I think that people should be trying to pay their parents back for all of the things that they did for them when they were a child. I don't think that this should be in money, although I think that if your parents need money then you should try to help them if there is any way that you are able to do so. I think that the best thing to do is to help them with things when they get a little bit older and they're finding it harder to cope on their own, because they helped you when you needed them, so it is only fair that you do your best to return the favour.
• Pasay, Philippines
2 Nov 12
Returning the favor can be done by a person in initiative manner. But obliging to return the favor is totally different. It is like if parents are obliging to do it then it was like the children are their investment.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
hi, for me,its not an obliged to payback our parents responsibility to us,actually for me its a thanksgiving for my parents to those responsibility they have done to me,so i give this grateful thing through helping them and take care them.