Would you still argue...

Philippines
October 26, 2012 7:08am CST
if you talk with someone who doesn't believe you? Right now I'm very exhausted having a fight with someone I love who apparently doesn't believe in anything I say. It seems to me that the arguments just keep on going without end. I would like to sort things out but I'm so tired of explaining myself that I just want to say yes and okay to him even though I know it's not true.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@hereandthere (18120)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
try writing it all down so you can explain yourself fully and maybe then he'll understand the other aspects of the situation that he might not be aware of. tell him you'll give him time to really think about what you wrote then maybe sit down together after a few days.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I tried this once. The fight eventually subsided but after that another thing came up and we're back to square one. I guess I could do this again if I can't bear it for too long. Thanks for the advice.
@rubyroy (824)
• India
27 Oct 12
Please do not talk to him if you can help,otherwise be calm and collected when he gives you negative responses.Do not get into self defeating talks that will kill your happiness and confidence.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
Your response is just timely, rubyroy. He often throws me derogatory words just to make me feel bad, but as long as I can I just say nothing. He's not a bad person, but sometimes he can be hurtful to me.
@jenny1015 (13395)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I really hate having to go on a debate just to let someone know what I want to say. But sometimes, I just need to say my piece just to let out the heaviness in my chest. Some people could just go on all day blabbing about something, but I do not have time for that. Once I have said my word, I take off.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
We're the same. I've pointed out to him that I'm not someone who could say a lot but the thing is if I don't say more than I ought to he'll bug me and that is another fight coming on.
• United States
26 Oct 12
I have had my share of arguments and it gets really sickening after a while. I would not want to continue this if i knew I was right.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
Yes sometimes it would be better than wasting time and energy.
@megamatt (14334)
• United States
26 Oct 12
Its an exercise of futility as far as I stand to try and argue with a person who just refuses to believe anything. Some people can be stubborn. One might consider me to be one of these stubborn people out there in the world. Where there are just people out there who just refuse to see anything beyond what they see. Experiences are limited after all and the worldview can be slanted towards ourselves. In the end, I just really find myself shaking my head. My piece is going to be spoken and then what people will think about it, is what they are going to think about it. There have been times where I think my life could be a lot easier if I just rolled over and just let people roll over me. Yet, its just something encoded in my mind where I have to just press on. Of course, when I say what I need to say, it just seems like a waste of oxygen to argue any differently.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
Yes I'm trying to understand him considering that he's had limited experiences than me. I can say right now that he can't bring himself to understand my situation because he haven't been in my shoes. Maybe he's more stubborn than I am, but I'm not changing my views just for him.
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
26 Oct 12
If i have to be honest with you, i think giving in to an argument for the sake of keeping the peace is really keeping the war. when an argument is getting to unholy limits, i'd rather allow time to pass before bringing up the topic again. sometimes, i try to find out why the other party thinks my arguments or reasons are wrong when i am definitely sure i am in the right. i also try to understand whether if he was really right and i was wrong after all, or vice versa. it is good to do some research before hand and bring up the topic again, i.e another time, because when an argument is taken to unholy lengths, it results to conflict and disagreement. sometimes, both parties start building walls of resistant that makes the argument irresolvable when every argument can be resolved if followed the right way. thanks, offlimits.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
We've been putting this argument off for so long now that he just wanted to have a solution. Of course I want that too, but there are just some things that I can't say yes to because I know I also have a point and I want him to understand that. And you're right, this just feels that we're building walls around ourselves and I don't want those walls to keep getting higher. Thanks for your response too.
• United States
26 Oct 12
Sometimes we get to the point where we are arguing just for the sake of arguing and to me that is no good. However, I think that you should never give in to someone and just say yes to pacify the other person. Sometimes it is best to just agree to disagree and drop the argument. If the person really loves you, they will accept that you have differing points of view and just let it go. They will accept you as you are.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I just want to let this go too, but he says we've been putting it off for so long that he wants to have a "closure". I'd like that too, but it's just getting worse. I hope he'll accept me as I am, but I think that's not the case.
• China
26 Oct 12
Everyone will come across this situation. If the thing you argue is something about principle, you must insist it on. However, when it comes to unnecessary argument, you had better to yield to it to avoid more argument.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I'm trying to avoid having an argument now but the moment that he steps on my principles I just know that I have to say something.
@Raine38 (8755)
• United States
26 Oct 12
If its something really petty then I wouldn't bother. It is hard to talk to someone who can't maintain an open mind, or someone who's already set to not believe you. It would be pointless and useless. However, if it's a matter of grave importance, then I will make sure that we will really talk. I will make sure that he will give me a chance to say what I have to say, and he will listen. Then I will also give him a chance to respond. Sometimes, we just need to calm down in order for us to be able to converse and talk sensibly. So timing is also a key factor here.
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I have been very calm in dealing with this. I'm not a person who's very vocal so I just let him talk and talk, but I want him to hear me out as well. Like what you said, the timing for now is not right.
26 Oct 12
When talking about rights then I would argue.But when its just something unnecessary to argue about I just keep quiet.No use of arguments if the others don't want to listen and close mind to understand. I just let them pass.lol
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I think this is a matter of rights as well; I have the right to be heard. But yes, he's closed minded and that makes me so tired of arguing.
• India
29 Mar 13
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, i wonder why that person don't believe you and still argue with you even though you are telling truth? it is really hard to deal with such kind of persons. hope he will realize his mistake soon and ask sorry for his activity. Don't worry