Guys, they're simply so afraid to get rejected!
By sharksfin
@sharksfin (1091)
Philippines
October 26, 2012 6:05pm CST
I've been talking with this guy friend of mine about his love life since the day we first met. He seems to be confident and easy to get along with, at least, this is how I see him. Not sure with other girls, though. But, there's just one thing I can't understand about him. He's been sharing about a girl he really likes and yet he'd still hang out with lotsa other girls and would even take photos with each one. He would even ask every girl's mobile number! I don't wanna give so much a fuzz in this. It's totally out of my biz. It's just since he'd frequently talk about this "special" girl, I was hoping he would be very careful to not treat every other girl as special as this one. Otherwise, she wouldn't have a clue that he's interested in her since he's treating everyone the same.
Most of the time, I and this guy friend would talk about how he's waiting for the right time. Waiting on God and all. And, I'd rebut and tell him that it's our job (girls) to wait for the guys to pursue us and it's their (boys) job to seek and work on winning the girl of their dreams hearts. He'd tell me that it's a whole lotta different if both the boy and the girl feel the same way toward each other. But, for me, that's exactly the point of courtship. A guy should woo a girl so he can win her heart. He can't just try and fish whoever gets trap in his bait. Makes me think that many men these days don't want to make a move and just wait til a girl shows any sign that she likes him, too.
Well, doesn't really work for me and I believe for many other women who understand their value as God's princesses.
Your take?
2 people like this
4 responses
@GemmaR (8517)
•
27 Oct 12
I think that a lot of people are scared of getting rejected by people who they like; not just guys. One of the problems is that if we're not entirely sure that another person likes us in the same way that we like them, then we tend not to ask them out because of the fact that we're scared about what would happen if they said no. I think that it is just something that we have to get over though, because if we manage to get somebody then that is great, but if we'd never asked them then we would never have been able to find out.
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
In everything, we really need to simply brave it. Otherwise, we'll never know what is on the other side. We might be already missing a turn by always playing it safe. And men aren't supposed to act fearful. They should be showing courage because they are the ones to fight for who they want not girls. Sadly.
@joliefille (3690)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I agree with you. Guys should pursue the girl they like even in cases when the feeling is mutual. Sometimes a guy may show interest in you but it's not on a deeper serious level. Girls can easily misinterpret their intentions. I am not one also to express that I like a guy, I usually wait for them to tell me that they liked me. Otherwise we just remain in the friend zone.
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
I know...they always test the water. If you bite at their bait, you'll end up losing. You're bound to get hurt should the girl they really like shows positive response to them finally! Problem with most men, they always secure themselves with reserves. Should this don't work out, they have spare. They got nothing to lose. Such an advantage since they're not such emotional creatures like women. *sigh*
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
My guy friends would always admit to me that it's different when they really like someone. They say that they don't want to spoil the chance and they'd like to think of ways to do things that would make her feel special - in short, they mess up when they really like the girl too much.
I think your guy friend like this special girl too much that he doesn't want to ruin the chance. He'd rather wait and test the waters before he pursues. Usually, they don't really end up with the girl they really really like. It's just the way it is. It's rare that the guy who find himself super attracted to the girl could coolly just go and approach her. They're not so smooth when it's a girl they really like.
If you remember the movie "Hitch" played by Will Smith, you'd see there that there's truth that a guy really messes things up when he is with someone he really absolutely likes. It's different when it's just a crush or any other woman.
I guess your friend is bound to not really go to her. Someone else will have the courage but he won't. I guess you just tell him "it's now or never". But heck, that's normal. He needs to go through life and experience rejection.
Have a great mylot experience ahead!
@sharksfin (1091)
• Philippines
27 Oct 12
Am not sure if he's thinking the same way as your male friends, though. He's very expressive to the girl. He'd make sure the girl knows of his intention. He'd even tell everyone how he really likes her. It appears to me that he wants to make sure it reaches her. But, I just don't think she'll really appreciate that strategy. It's, in fact, a turn off.
Of course, I have no idea how guys really feel getting rejected but well, that's part of being a man. Just like how it's part of being a woman to simply wait. No matter how we are so attracted with a guy, we can't just approach him and tell him how much we like him, right? For me, he really just needs to face his fear and stop the strategies that won't work.
Thanks for your comment.
@Gretchen522 (699)
• China
27 Oct 12
Like girls guys also afraid to get rejected but treat a relationship just like that is not a wise way,girls will easily think him as a playboy.
