What is the Purpose for the Existence of Anger?

@thesids (22358)
Bhubaneswar, India
October 29, 2012 2:24am CST
Hi friends and lotters Yesterday a friend of mine visited me and he said he was very angry and upset with something at office. He even took the bag of anger home the other evening and had quarreled with his family! What intrigues me is - What is the purpose of Anger? Practically, I will not deny that I havent been through that emotion ever, instead there have been times when I was really angry. But in all those times, and later, I did feel that there is no Practical use of anger except one - if the anger is genuine, you can use it as a motivation towards something good (and also evil, though I was and have been lucky not to go down the evil path). But fighting with others over the anger is something odd and I dont agree with that. So my question is - Is there any other use of Anger that you can suggest? Or is it just the unhealthy thing and like the vestigial organs(like the appendix) - which exist only to cause some health issues later in life? Cheers, theSids
7 people like this
24 responses
• United States
29 Oct 12
Hi Bhai! Check your email. I have messages you need to read. I don't know if there is any good in getting angry but I do and it feels good to be Able to. Ever since I was 8 I was told I didn't have the right to feel anything. So now when I get angry , I let it out which is better than having to hold it in. But I have never taken my anger out on anyone innocent. These days I sit and plot when I'm angry. I find the proper revenge is far better than arguing and shouting! I guess to you I am choosing the evil path. Well you should have known that you are far better than your Behen.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Hi behen The more I know about you and you childhood days, I start getting scared and worried. I dont know why but I always need to know some more. Like here when you say - I was 8 I was told I didn't have the right to feel anything - that really sounds scary to me and I seem concerned here. Plotting a revenge is not a bad thing as I see it. However I would say that the revenge should be beneficial to me and non-hurting to anyone. If I can have it that way it will be a sweet revenge. Because otherwise, the revenge starts to become a never ending loop kind of thing - I hurt you, you hurt me and then the cycle restarts... And I know my behen. She might be whatever she is but she is one good person and has a great heart. I will not believe in anything else as I have known my behen personally - not from mere discussions here or even not from anyone else
2 people like this
• United States
29 Oct 12
Oh Bhai! Thanks. The love and support you show me has made me a better Behen! I have hope now. As for revenge , the best revenge these days is to walk away and Never contact the person. In fact act like you Never knew them , Ever! That way they never hurt you ever again.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
30 Oct 12
Hi Sarah, I agree with Sids on this. Your parents were wrong in telling you that you had no right to feel as you did. Feelings are feelings and there is no real choice in them. You simply can't choose not to feel angry or sad when that is just what you feel. The only choices we have is in how we react to them. You were not wrong as a child and you are not wrong now.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Oct 12
Anger has usefulness of it's own. You have correctly said that anger could be a great motivator. In my personal life I have seen that whenever I am angry over something or some work then I used to do it in a better and in a more cautious manner. Moreover like all other sentiments anger also has a negative side which should be avoided.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Hi akmmedhi You seem to be a good and positive person dear - when you say - whenever I am angry over something or some work then I used to do it in a better and in a more cautious manner as I have seen people mess up when they get angry and start doing things that they shouldnt be doing.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Oct 12
Thanks a lot for the reply. I just wanted to say that I also break down sometimes but most of the time I try to use anger in a positive way. Just an example - When I was in the third Semester of my Masters Degree and our exams were going on than Our Landlord disconnected the electricity line of our rent house. I didn't wanted to argue with her but in my mind I decided that I am going to get more marks than the last Semester just because I want to show her that nothing could come in between me and my study. And with the grace and inspiration of my mom and wife I get more % than my last Semester. I try to use anger in the same manner now also.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Well dear, everyone of us has a threshold and we all are humans. We are born to make mistakes and learn from them. It is good that you and many others realize those times when anger takes control and then learn from those moments. It really helps become a stronger person. I am beginning to admire you and your positivity here when you say - instead of arguing you chose to study hard and prove that nothing could come in between you and your determination. This is really a positive set of mind and I do hope that you do carry this over with you for ever.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
Anger is a normal feeling when we're annoyed, irritated or even disappointed. What's the purpose of anger? To express the disappointment. Just like when we are happy- we laugh or cry. Same thing with anger- we shout, we scream to vent out. Some people are good when it comes to handling their anger while there are others who got carried away with their emotion and become violent.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Hi di Yes I have no reasons to disagree with you here - we shout and scream to vent out. I think the venting out is also good for health at times as if you keep everything inside, you definitely have a higher chances of high Blood pressure and even heart problems . But as you rightly say, we must learn to control the anger and try to vent it out more effectively rather than merely becoming violent and hurting others.
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
Because we have all differences and people have different behavior. I am more disappointed with people who doesn't know how to hold their temper. People who easily get annoyed and their hands are too fast to hurt other people especially with the small kids or weaker gender. God forbids but, each time I see a man mishandling a woman I really wish to kick his azz and I can't control myself to interfere. This happens with me many times- thanks God- until now I am still alive.
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
29 Oct 12
I suppose the purpose of anger is how you use it. If it's to lash out at others then you're not using it wisely, but if it's to right a wrong then maybe good can come from it.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Oct 12
hi bestboy Definitely lashing out at others is not only unwise but uncalled for, I will never favor that
@GemmaR (8526)
29 Oct 12
I think that anger is something that has evolved in humans to be used as protection. For example if somebody or something was a threat to either us or our family then we would be able to use our anger in order to protect ourselves against it. However there is always the chance that people might be able to use this anger wrongly, and if this is the case then it is important that you find a way to deal with it. I know that a lot of people exercise when they're feeling angry, or sometimes listening to some loud music is helpful.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Oct 12
Hi GemmaR I find your views quite interesting specially when you say - anger is for protection. If I relate this with what I have seen around and even at times felt, yes, somewhere, in a few instances, it is the protection thing but I always believed that this being over protective. But if it(protection) is made broader, there are instances of anger which definitely relate... like protection of self interests, protection of self etc
@suni51 (2989)
• India
29 Oct 12
Hi Sid, I tried to find out the reasons- When some thing hits us at the right side of the brain known as right frontal region the emotions felt by us are those of wrong kind or angry type maybe hate but as per the situation and the case of anger certainly comes from the emotions hitting us on the left part and we unable to handle the situation in some cases reflect our feelings rather loudly, known as anger. And you shall be surprised to note that anger is more associated with closer ones. We generally do not show it to strangers but to our near and dear ones. (Maybe getting beaten is the reason, while the near ones would spare us easily)wot say?
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Dear praaji What you say about anger is quite correct and apt. We all feel more hurt when the closer people incite us to get angry and even we feel easy when we show it to them... Maybe you are right - the thoughts of getting beaten up stop us many a times from showcasing the feelings to strangers The problem with me is that these days, when I feel anger - there is no one around to showcase it... and when there are some around specially the BR... I just dont know how to show it to her. But still we fight occasionally - and it(the fight) is a short lived thing between us. I guess it is because of the fact that we spend so little time together these days that when we are together, there is just no space or room for these quarrels.
@HeartROB (434)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
Well, for me, feeling that anger makes you feel more human than not feeling anything else. But then anger should not be use when doing bad things because you felt that way. I agree to you when you said that anger should be use as a motivation on doing something good. At the end, let us just control our anger and not be a slave on it. Let's have a anger management properly. Have a nice day my friend. Make peace always.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Hi HeartROB let us just control our anger and not be a slave on it The good thing I feel is that anger is quite short lived - and managing anger is quite easy. The only catch is that moment and that piece of action that decides whether you let the anger control you or you control your anger.
1 person likes this
@sharksfin (1098)
• Philippines
29 Oct 12
Very nice question, thesids. ^_^ I believe that anger is an emotion which is really not intended for bad purposes. It's, actually, an emotion that makes us feel there is something wrong or our rights are being violated. It tells us that we gotta act on something. But, definitely, not in a violent way. The Bible says, "in your anger do not sin." It only proves that we all get angry but we don't necessarily need to act on it. Like we don't need to shout at someone; we don't need to talk harshly to the person who hurt us; we need not be grumpy over any situation that caused us irritation... it's all a matter of attitude. If we start feeling irritated or annoyed, we can address the concern to the person involved without having to burst into anger. We can talk to the calmly and express to them how they've offended us. This emotion was perfectly created by God so that we can correct what's wrong. We have to learn how to use this emotion for the good of everyone and to maintain harmony and not to cause harm. If someone has offended us, we better talk to the person privately. Don't let it pass if it really affected you or else, it'll be a collection of offenses later on. And, if to confront, wait til you're calm before you talk. Anger isn't a bad thing. It's a good thing if only we know how to be in control and not be controlled by it.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Hi sharksfin Thanks for appreciating my discussion dear. What I love at mylot is that people do help us with many examples like you here cited the Holy Bible. Though I am not a Christian but being a Hindu, I know that our religions too have similar texts and anger is never considered to be a boon - if you are misusing it to sin. I love your recommendation of trying to address the concern to the person(s) involved and find a non-aggressive way out. Peace and many other goodwill can follow if things are controlled and anger is used constructively
1 person likes this
@sjvenden27 (1850)
• United States
29 Oct 12
Anger is an emotion which we all have felt and feel at times.. What I was told by several people is that its healthy; the feeling.. It is what you do with your anger which can be unhealthy.. Explode say things that you normally would say or hurt someone out of anger through fists or words.. They both hurt.. Or bury your anger, allowing them to add up and fister, then at a top of a hat bang there goes your uncontrollable anger.. Or the third way that I know.. Using the extra energy that you get when you are angry to do good.. This is what I do.. Like if there is a big cleaning project that I have been neglecting to do; I will go ahead a get it done.. Which can be bad if I keep going like the energizer bunny.. The down side to it is that my pain just goes away.. Then when I finally do stop there are times I can not move around for awhile.. (chronic pain) When I am at that point I just do not feel a thing.. Or go out and get a errand or something else done just to feel a little better.. I try to flip my negatives into positives.. It makes it easier to get through life with a smile on my face versus my teeth grinding trying to keep the negative words from escaping..
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Hi sjvenden Loved the way you put it dear. I try to flip my negatives into positives. - If all of us try and reach to that stage, I am sure many wars would never be needed and there will be more of happiness and peace around. And yes, I completely agree when you say - Or go out and get a errand or something else done just to feel a little better.. - I too do this these days to keep the anger away as I have realized that anger is something which makes things go wrong between many relationships and often takes a toll on self more than it plays on others
1 person likes this
@rog0322 (2834)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
29 Oct 12
Hi, Anger comes from fear, to paraphrase Master Yoda. It is the second stage in one's way to the darkside, "down the evil path" and serves no purpose except to appease that fear, for the moment. It is so easy to camouflage anger from that all-consuming fear, believing one is strong with the rage and the motivation to do something in the midst of the inability to do something, to act in opposition to the object of fear.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
29 Oct 12
Hi rog So you say that anger is just a way to vent out the fear! Hmmm... sounds interesting no doubt as I see many people starting to get angered when they fail to get something right as per what they expected.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
30 Oct 12
Hi my little NS Anger is a human emotion that we all have at times and some more so than others. It fuels adrenelin which in certain situations can save us. It is, I find, often a mask for sadness which some people find even harder to express. Show me a person who appears angry much of the time and I can almost bet that behind that anger you will find a sad, misunderstood and hurt individual. The biggest problem that a lot of people have is in the expression of their emotions, I think.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Oct 12
my Dear Namesake Wow, I didnt think it on the lines of sadness... though I felt it was frustration many a times of not being understood or not being able to get to do something that one wanted to do. This was primarily because I always felt crying out when sad was easier to me. And when I am sad, I cannot do anything right. I do agree that many many people have a big problem in expressing their emotions - mainly because they need their expressions to be interpreted the way they want... hope I am right on this one.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Yep...I think you are right and also when someone is angry, I bet if you talk to that person and if you can get them to really express why they are upset that 9 to 10 they are sad over the situation that they are expressing anger over. Of course there are always also those situations where anger is legit and not fueled by an underlying sadness but honestly at this time, I can't think of one. Can you?
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Aw yes. Good example and a completly different form of "anger" than what I was imagining.
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
30 Oct 12
This is a very good question, one that I doubt many people ever even think about. You seem to have a good attitude about anger. Some people just want to rant and be angry, sort of like children, rather than get over it and move on. I am going to be spending time thinking about this question.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Oct 12
Hi Canellita Thanks dear friend for appreciating my discussion, I keep trying to understand things the other ways and many people do not appreciate that in the real world. However, it does please me to share my views and even get deeper insights into my thoughts here at MyLot. About the people who rant and be angry, I do feel that the basic reason for this kind of behavior is either the ego or the frustration which does not go that well with them. Personally, I too was in this category of persons but over the years, I felt that the anger used in not-so-good and positive way will always cause more troubles for me. So I tried to find a way out and convert that anger into something more useful.
@Canellita (12058)
• United States
31 Oct 12
You are right, thesids, though I would venture to say that most people do not appreciate it. They seem to feel that it is easier to just go about their lives without questioning or understanding things, but it really limits them.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
30 Oct 12
Hi Sid I do see anger as part of our 'developing patience' in life. The moment we shout at someone, say all harsh words or even slap the otehr, later we only regret our reactions. Trying to control anger helps in developing our patience. You know what, in my school days I was too hot tempered and was nicknamed by my friends as 'Durvaasa' - the sage who's famous for his anger. My late father used to tell me take the teasings of your friends easier and try not to rebuke on them when they call your nickname. Even now i do get angry with husband or kids or when things are not heading right, we show off the disappointments / over excitements may be. But the motivational part of being angry is that i never speak any bad language/ using slang at any time.... on the other part, losing control does not mean we have to hit others to relax, a little control of yourself can work smoothly. Now i think your friend need a good advise from you. Tell him to drop the office at the gate of the house and enter the house with a warm heart. problems are with everyone, but it is upto us how smartly we handle them. take care... hope u are doing fine.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Oct 12
Hi viju What! You were nicknamed Durvaasa? That is so odd. I mean, yes, he was one sage who was known for his temper (or rather ill temper) but dont worry, I too was similar in my school and college days. Talks were not just me, I always believed in actions But over the time, things have changed and I have no been a talker rather than anything else - maybe the age and illness plays its role and you do things that you should be doing. Ah yes, I have seen many people use foul language when they are angry but I have never used them as I dont appreciate those words and have seen people fail miserably with them too. For this friend of mine, he is feeling better after our talks and when I spoke to him last evening, he said that he had said sorry to his family. But I know him, he wont change and would still get that office back home anyday things dont go right between him and his work... he is a stubborn guy in the wrong ways
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
31 Oct 12
HI Sid , I was almost like a Durvaasa only till i's in 8th std. But by 10th (around 14 years of age), i lost my dad and became very quiet. Seeing this change, those friends (i'm still in touch with them) changed my name to Soumya (the one who's too soft/quiet). As the saying goes 'time is the best teacher', i too try not to get angry but if i can't express all my emotions - happy, sad, anger, excitements, tensions or upsets - then i will turn out to be some other sage . Yes, there are persons who carry home to office and vise versa. They will learn by themselves - our interactions might not be appreciated by such persons. Take good care... what did you get yourself for Diwali? And what's the gift for your wife?
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Anger can be useful if it motivates one to take positive action. For instance, anger regarding an injustice might motivate one to write their congressman. A more proactive example might be to interfere when seeing a large child beating up on a smaller one.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Oct 12
Hi bellis That is what I always believed to be the purpose of anger. On my discussion too I mention that Anger can be a great motivator. There has been a response on Page one on this discussion where the myLot friend shares that he was able to do good in his exams only because of the anger and his capacity to convert that into positive energy.
@Sindelle (830)
• United States
30 Oct 12
I believe that anger acts as a defense mechanism. You can use anger to tell people to back off and leave you alone or also deter people from acting in a way not to your liking. For example if a child knows that you will get angry if they steal a cookie then the child probably will not do it. Yes, too much anger can be unhealthy but just the right about can keep us safe and help communicate with other people in a non verbal way.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Oct 12
Hi Sindelle I think that it is not the anger that incites the defense mechanism. Instead it is the fear responsible. Like on the example of child and the cookies, I believe if the child is not scared of the results that arise out of the stealing, the child will still go for it. What do you think?
@bunnybon7 (37399)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Oct 12
my late hubby was like you. so good and very wise. he used to say there was no reason for a lot of anger especially with the family you love. he did not believe in screaming and hitting etc. in 8 yrs i only heard him raise his voice 2 times in anger. those were both due to others attacking his family in some way. he was right. a great man. once his daughter wrecked the car and was so afraid he'd be mad. but he said you are alright? and thats all that matters. if i get mad is that going to change anything? will it fix the car? that made sense.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Oct 12
Hi bunnybon I admire you... for your love for your late hubby must be a great personality and I wished we met sometime somewhere. He was so very right - anger and its venting out (in the wrong ways) will not mend anything instead, there are more instances when it has played a spoiled sport and destroyed more things.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
30 Oct 12
You just said it, the use of anger is to use it as a motivation towards something good.. but i also believe that takes a whole lot of discipline dear sids, not just simple i tell you. i have been angry a couple of times and regret it in the end as harsh words were said and i hurt people i love. it was not nice at all, it was something i really regret so bad. The thing is people i guess cannot control anger and get carried away by this emotion that it become so unhealthy. but sometimes it can be good as you get to release emotions you have inside too.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Oct 12
Hi jazel I wish I had a magical potion for you. I must say that expressing out the anger (or venting it, as they say) is many a times good for health. I have felt that it not only reduces the stress levels but also clears the air (though at times only) and these do lead to better things in the coming days. But that said, one still has to be careful as when angry, and expressing it, there is a very thin line border and things change drastically once we overstep and tread into the other sides... relationships get killed just for a mere few bad moments
@SIMPLYD (82820)
• Philippines
28 Aug 15
For me it is good in a way that it helps you vent out what is inside of you lest if you keep the anger just inside of you , you might suffer a heart attack .
• China
2 Nov 12
Getting angery does a lot of harm to our health.The case in which one has a stroke after blowing his top defies enumeration.Whether one is prone to get angery or not depends on their upbringing and disposition. If one is of a gental disposition,he is hardly out of temper,unless someone stretches his patience to the limit.In fact,It is no good for someone to get angery, apart from making a spectacle of himself.
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
2 Nov 12
It's not just anger...what about the purpose of greed or sloth or jealousy or envy or gluttony or pride? None of these things has a good purpose but they certainly have a bad purpose, just like anger. These are known as the Seven Deadly Sins in case you were wondering.