Putting things into perspective can be painful

@rocketj1 (6960)
United States
October 31, 2012 10:52am CST
The past two years have been extremely difficult financially and emotionally for us. Unemployment for my husband. My father in laws' passing. My husband and my dad were both in and out of the hospital. Car trouble after car trouble after car trouble. Sometimes I would cry out to God. I wondered if he was picking on us. Just when I would have a bit of hope, something would come to take it away. Well, this week put things into perspective for me. We are yet again having some major financial setbacks. But then..... I heard about Tanya. She is the wife of a former pastor of ours. A really wonderful woman. They recently adopted a 2 year old and have a 6 year old son as well. She went in for a hysterectomy 3 weeks ago, found she had an aggressive form of cancer, developed several complications (among which was a blood clot) and then died 2 days ago. She was 38 years old. We are in shock. And then....... this morning I talked with my dad, who was concerned about our car situation. I have had a strange feeling lately that maybe he had some health issues. And he confirmed that with me. He has some tumors on his bladder and the doctors will be removing those on Monday. They do not know if they will be cancerous. After we talked, I hung up the phone and bawled. While I am always aware that things could be worse in my life, it really hits home when something so tragic happens to someone you know and love. Cars and bills will always be around to aggravate and worry us, but the really important things in life have nothing at all to do with those. I needed to put things into perspective. Sometimes it hurts though......
4 people like this
13 responses
• Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11 Jan 16
It may sound simplistic, but TRUST GOD. A few years ago my family went through a lot, I said to my niece - "are we cursed??". But we made it through. Take care.
@katsmeow1213 (29016)
• United States
1 Nov 12
I'm am so sorry to hear this. Sometimes we do need to put things into perspective. Too bad it couldn't have been less painful though. I used that line on my customers today because I'd read this conversation yesterday and just wasn't sure how to respond to it. But it at least got me thinking. Today every one of my customers came in complaining about the cold and rain. I said "Hey, it's November 1st so you can't expect sunny and 70. Plus, it's not snow!". Most of them said "Yeah, you're right" to which I said "It's all about perspective!".
• China
1 Nov 12
Life always is not easy,what we should do is face the reality and get through it,so dear my friend,pls just be positive and conquer the obstacle in front of you. The car will find its way round the hill when it gets there.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
1 Nov 12
I am a very negative person. I always look for the bad in a situation rather than the positive. I forget sometimes that my life is really not that bad. Ok, I forget a LOT of the time. My sister likes to beat it into my head from time to time. My car is acting up...but I am thankful that I have a car. My kids annoy me to no end some days...but I am thankful that they are healthy. The pilot on my furnace keeps going out...but I am thankful that I have a source of heat. People that I thought were my friends turned out to not really be my friends...but I am thankful I figured that out and they are out of my life. My sister has a friend that has Cushing's disease that is caused by tumor in her brain she's suffered a lot over the past several years and had several surgeries and all kinds of crazy medical treatments the other day she found out that she has another unrelated brain tumor it's in operable because it's located between the two halves of her brain... She doesn't know how much longer she really has to live how's that for helping me realize that anything in life that seems like a problem is really no big deal.
@artemeis (4021)
• China
1 Nov 12
Times are tough these days and as such things can just happen all at once. No matter what it may be, I believe it is important to remember that we do not defeat ourselves by solving the problems the wrong way. Taking the easy way out will not solve the problem, it merely provides some local anesthetic and when the time arrives the problem will still be unsolved, bringing more aggravation to it and those around. I see that your family members are turning to you to share their ordeals and I believe you have been their pillar of strength who is able to take matters into stride. However, don't forget to give yourself some time to catch your breath alone and refresh yourself. Like a car traveling on a long journey, it will need to make stops for refueling and rest. You have done a good job and I encourage you to keep it up. Tough times don't last, they never will. So, don't defeat yourself.
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
1 Nov 12
I can relate. I was all stressed out over things like my job, grad school applications,and the upcoming election. Then I broke my leg at a week long rally and I suddenly have a lot of time to consider what really matters and who intend to be when I can get up again.
@GardenGerty (95686)
• Marion, Kansas
1 Nov 12
I am not really going to offer you a lot of platitudes, as you know that God is there and listening. I will go ahead to tell you that both of my grandfathers had tumors in their bladders, I am not saying that they are the same as your dad, but they each were able to live long productive lives, having the tumors checked and removed periodically. I hope the same for your dad. Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. It also just reminds us that we may not be able to put everything in perspective until we ourselves are on the other side as well. I am so sorry for the difficulties you have experienced the past two years.
@Sindelle (830)
• United States
1 Nov 12
I'm sorry you've had a rough time these past couple of years. I unfortunately hear stories of hardship more often then ever lately. Judging from your profile photo I can tell you're at least somewhat religious. During hard times I tell myself god has a plan. I may not understand why certain things happening but I don't think we're meant to. What I would take from this is be thankful you've had such wonderful people in your life and cherish the times you have with your family. I'd also think of the good things you do have. There is almost always someone worse off then you. Right now while financially you're struggling you obviously have a roof over your head and food on your plate which many of us take for granted. I hope things turn around for you and I pray your father overcomes his illness. I lost my father at a young age very suddenly and I know how painful it must be for you right now.
@Thoroughrob (11756)
• United States
31 Oct 12
It does seem that things can really pile up on us. I have found that dealing with my special needs son, that you have to take it one day at a time, and work through one thing at a time. I cannot worry about the little things that set some people off. I treat my family the way I would if I knew I would not be here tomorrow.
@mydanods (6798)
• Nigeria
31 Oct 12
you seem very kind, rocketj1. but it is important you try to take control of your life. problems will always be here with us; some we cannot solve and some we can solve. the essential is to the faith and keep the trust in God. please, do not lose these two.
@savypat (20247)
• United States
31 Oct 12
Whenever things are looking really dark, I try to remember to look back and see that in the past these have always been the times of greatest learning for me. Looking back I could see how everything fit together to cause the challenges I had to face. This is all that I can pass on to you, thus and my prayers.
@Angelpink (4023)
• Philippines
31 Oct 12
So very true ! As what they said , truth hurts but truth sets us free.
• United States
31 Oct 12
I know how you feel. Just when you think things can't get any worse they do. Starting w/ the year 2000 I lost my Uncle, my favorite Aunt, 2 weeks later my Grandmother, my other & last Uncle, my Mom, & then the very last member of my family on my Mom's side my Aunt. So now every day when I get up I wonder to myself what could possible happen to me now. I'm always afraid to ask that question because I know I still have loved ones that I could lose. That very thought alone frightens me. So please know that you are not alone. I truly do understand how you feel. Please know that my thoughts & prayers are with you.