It really burns my skin to feed that loser..

United States
November 1, 2012 1:12pm CST
My daughter went back home to that no good son of a dog. I had to send her $20 to get something to eat and I will be taking her shopping for food. I hate knowing that loser will eat something I bought for my child. I will not starve my daughter because I hate that loser either. She is hungry and I will feed her. it just burns me deep down thats all.. and as usual I need to vent it out. thanks for understanding. They don't have a stove so I need to let her pick out her food.
5 people like this
18 responses
@alberello (4756)
• Italy
1 Nov 12
Well, first you must excuse me, but you know I am Italian and sometimes I find it hard to interpret correctly a discussion in English. According to what I have been able to understand you gave your daughter $ 20 to buy food (and, if you do, so far I do not see anything bad)! what you burn is the fact that she is living with someone who you call "loser" and the fact that he eats with the money that you gave to your daughter, it burns you. If you call losing the companion of your daughter, I think you must have your valid reasons (but I do not know!). I understand it, or did I completely wrong interpretation of your discussion?
3 people like this
@Hatley (157858)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Nov 12
hi alberello the loser has abused her dau ghter over and o ver and she has tried to get her daughter to not go back to him. he hits her, hes a batterer.once he almost killed her and was sent to prison for it yet back she goes to him. we all wonder why? he is a loser a woman batterer.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Nov 12
You got it right and fully understand my words. He is a loser because of all hatley has said.
• United States
2 Nov 12
Is he really a loser or does he need some direction? By loser I mean does he treat your daughter badly or is he just financially unstable? If he treats her badly and she's always broke behind him you could suggest to her that they may be enabling eachother and for them both to reach their full potential and personal growth they may need to separate at least for awhile. Then as she finds herself being more fulfilled she may not want to go back to him. If you put it that way she won't feel like you're attacking her or him simply because you don't like him. If He treats her well but is broke all the time they may still be enabling eachother and preventing personal growth OR maybe they need direction in working together to meet some goals. Are they working or in school? Do they need help with either of those? Filing for financial for instance, finding a program or school that fits them. Basically just researching all the options out that there that could lead to getting them out of the financial rut their in. Some financial planning with a free service may be helpful too. Alot of times people can't get out of their situation because they just don't know how or they need to be reminded of the tools we can use to improve our lives.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 12
WOW, I WOULD HAVE TO AGREE, HE'S A LOSER. SO SORRY this is happening to your family. He is in dire need of therapy, and she needs to be safe. And he pressed charges on HER? Ok, he's selfish and I'm guessing he's "always right", right? Constantly blaming everyone else, probably most of all your daughter? Unfortunately, she must still be on the defensive whenever someone brings up their relationship, I'm guessing because she went back with him. She still needs to hear that her personal growth is being stunted by this relationship, the only way she can grow is on her own especially if she's facing possible "time" because of something he did. And after he beat the crap out of her. Unfortunately, she's not seeing how his behavior throws a monkey wrench into everything she can do for herself. Is anyone else talking to her besides you? I remember from experience its sometimes hard to hear advice from our mother. Even tho later on we see it was good advice, at the time we often resent it. The conversation doesn't have to include him as much as making it clear she needs to "do for herself" and only align herself with people who are going to help her grow not try to sabotage it. She sounds so caught up in this she can't see the forest for the trees.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
2 Nov 12
I can kind of relate to this. I don't hate my daughter's boyfriend as much as you do but that's maybe because he has not yet beaten or anything. He's just verbally mean to her which is bad also. Still, I know that when I lend her money that a good amount will go to him and that I will more than likly not get paid back. I would be a bit more understanding with that but he controls the money and unfortunately, she allows that and he has a really decent paying job and yet never has money? Why? Fines and lord knows what else....I really don't know but he never has money....high insurance rates, lots of bills. And she stays at my house 4 days out of the week and I help with her son and run her around on errands etc.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 12
I think that she is very blessed to have you. like my daughter is to have me but she will tell anyone that she can't get anything from me.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
2 Nov 12
Ya..my daughter will do the same thing when she is in a bad mood and then be so appologetic. It's pretty hard to live with at times. She has gotten better as she has gotten older but sometimes it is pretty hard to deal with. She is currently on meds for her stress and they help somewhat but she still has her little moments.
• Jacksonville, Florida
1 Nov 12
I think someday she will see what is best for herself. Unfortunately, until that day your stuck dealing with the situation at hand, her being with someone you really cannot stand. I am sure as a mother myself that you really want to ban her from being with him but we all know how that will turn out, her doing it anyway. Sometimes its best to just let her do her own thing and she will learn. She is still young and thinks she knows what true love is. She will realize, she will find the right one someday that will treat her amazing like she should be treated! From a different perspective though this time, (and I am not saying you do this) but from my experience when my parents used to bad mouth someone or tell me how much they could not stand the person for some reason it pushed me closer to them. So, I will never do this when my children get older because I would never want to push them towards the person I really don't like.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
2 Nov 12
He does sound like a big creep and a disrespectful a-hole. I completely get that you cannot stand him and I understand why. But at the same time like I said you don't want to push her toward him more either. She will realize in her time what an AHOLE he is, its just a matter of time. Which stinks having to wait until that day but it will happen. It always does. I have been with some big losers in my life and one day I woke up and thought to myself what the heck am I doing with this person? And I left. It will just take one thing that will break her and make her realize she can do so much better!
@bunnybon7 (32565)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Nov 12
oh i know just how you feel the crap just never ends with these losers does it!! dont you just wish you could still just ground her and spank her butt? i know i do. at times. if we could keep them away from the loser long enough they might find someone worthy of them.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 12
She went back to that loser after being here four days. she will get it one day.
@Tina30219 (25793)
• Onaway, Michigan
1 Nov 12
Sorry to hear that your daughter went back to the loser again.I would not want to feed him either. I hope she did not go back to him and then he call the cops on her. Does she have a microwave? If she does she can cook a lot of things in it.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 12
I know she has a microwave and something else I forgot i saw them when I went there.
• United States
1 Nov 12
I know that you don't want to deprive your daughter, but you have to realize that by supporting her you also support him. If she has nothing, he will have no use for her. If, however, she is being supported in such a way that it extends over to support him as well, he will stick with her. I'm guessing that the other girl he's been chasing has either grown wise and gotten rid of him or doesn't have the same ability and/or willingness to support him. If Kay wants to eat, she can come visit you at mealtime. Let her know that she is always welcome.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Nov 12
she has no way to get to my house to eat. she lives in another state over 30 minutes away. I was thinking of making her come here to eat and sleep. but,I know she wants to be with him. I told her i would take her shopping and she will look forward to that. even today I was going to bring her some food and you already know I hate the thought of him eating my food.
@celticeagle (114326)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Nov 12
That is just horrible. I can't believe that your daughter continues to go back to this man. What do you think keeps drawing her back to him. I wish she would stay away from him. And I hope he doesn't hurt her again.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Nov 12
I think part of the reason is the fact that when she comes ot my house I get on her about being a slob. her man cleans up behind her all the time and calls her nasty four legged dogs. but,she likes not having to clean.
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
1 Nov 12
although our children sometimes make bad choices or mistakes, we still love them, because that is what we do as mothers.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Nov 12
That is so very true even if they can't see the love.
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
1 Nov 12
Some today she will wake up and see hes not good for her. Im sure of it. it sometimes takes people awhile to wake up and smell the dog poop.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Nov 12
This is the think that is keeping me sane. I feel one day she will be fed up with his crap and find a new love or her true self.
@shaggin (25440)
• United States
2 Nov 12
Oh my god gifts reading this makes me want to scream. I cant believe she is back with him he is such a horrible person. I think what you should do is tell her that you dont want to feed her boyfriend but you want to know that she is fed so have her come to your house when she needs to eat that way she has food to eat but her boyfriend will have to find his own way to eat.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 12
she lives too far and can't afford the train. plus she does not even have winter gear with her to travel to my house along with the fact she does not have any more money.
@shaggin (25440)
• United States
2 Nov 12
God that is awful. I know where you are is probably just as cold as where I am and she doesnt have any winter gear shes going to freeze. I just saw your other post so I saw that she would have to take a train to get to your house. I thought you two lived closer that definitely makes things a lot harder. She spent all her money on that loser god what a waste. She could have used that money to buy herself some warm winter clothes and a nice winter coat.
@natliegleb (5188)
• India
1 Nov 12
that is horrible to hear just ignore and continue with your work for sure,ignore him
1 person likes this
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
28 Nov 12
hi, its really hard to see our child who be with a irresponsible guy,that is why my mother always told me that choose a man who can face his responsibility,so even you feel burning your skin to feed that you have to because your daughter is still in his side.
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
3 Nov 12
told you she would probably go back to him again. What happened to the other girl or woman he had?
• India
2 Nov 12
Hi friend, Parents will take care of the kids until certain age, after getting maturity the son/daughter must care about them selves. It is not a good thing to expect the parents for everything throughout the life, hope your daughter will take care about her food by herself
@narnia007 (1051)
• India
2 Nov 12
From the discussion I could understand that you are worried that your daughter is in the wrong hands and you want to make her get out of it,fearing that it would ruin her life.What you did was right,you don't have to be mad at your daughter because of him.Just support your daughter along with advises and eventually she will realize that her guy is good for nothing and would come to lead a good life.As you have said,you can let all the vent out here,but don't show much to your daughter as it will only make her go further to him.She has to realize it herself.
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
2 Nov 12
Oh my, gifts! I am so shocked that your daughter still went back to be with him. I sure hope that what happened before would not happen again. You are a mom and it is just a normal thing for us mothers to provide whatever help we can extend to our kids. Let's just hope that everything will be alright. But in all honesty, I think she would be better off without him. So sorry for saying it. But I know how hard it must be for you to see your kid weaken with the "blind love" she has over that guy.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
2 Nov 12
Why dib't they have a stove? Why did she go back? ? She obviously didn't learn a single thing did sh?. My Mother or parents would never do all this for me period, let alone acting like she does.