Working at home with my 21 months old daughter and I'm loosing my temper.

Japan
November 3, 2012 11:47am CST
Working at home with a toddler isn't easy. This is that her age needs more attention and supervision.She is always curious with what I am doing. And really annoying that I can't concentrate well with my home online business. Sometimes I am out of control and slapped her. She already have her toys, foods and drinks even snacks. I played with her hours before I schedule myself to work online. But still when I sit down in front of my computer she jump in and sit on my lap and play with the keyboard. She always find ways to destruct me. I have tons of unfinished jobs. What else can I do with this little girl? Am I doing wrong? Is it bad slapping her? For moms like me or anybody doing jobs at home with a kids I would love to hear your advice and experience.
2 people like this
15 responses
@jureathome (5363)
• Philippines
6 Nov 12
Hey, I have a toddler and a baby and I want to start working online, too. I anticipate that they'd really be a lot of distraction, so I plan to hire a nanny who will be with them while im busy. I dont know if that is an option in your case, but if not, maybe you can send your kid to daycare.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
5 Nov 12
You can wait till the little girl sleep. Maybe you can make her sit and watch her favorite movie. I understand that you slapped her due to loosing your temper- but it won't help and will never do good as well. Instead, try to make her understand that you also need sometime. At an early age you can make her understand things- slowly try to discipline her. You can start by sitting near her while she's watching her favorite movie.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13390)
• Philippines
5 Nov 12
A kid that age would be quite a handful and you really need to have a lot of patience coz they tend to be all over the place most of the time. So, suggest you buy her a toy that looks like a laptop or a tablet (educational toys from Leadfrog are good) while you do your work. That would surely keep her busy.
1 person likes this
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
4 Nov 12
Hi shaina, I just think its wrong to slap your 21 month old for any reason...I mean that is the terrible two stage, and they are very curious and at that age wants and demand attention most of the time...I am sure if you were not stressed that you could not to your work you would not have slapped your toddler..and thats what makes this so wrong... You probably really need to find someone to care for your toddler while you are working...Its not easy for anyone to work from home while there are others in the house doing anything...I know, I am speaking from experience because there are alway distraction.. Your child need not be the brunt of your anger just because she is being a toddler...Its not going to get better because she will not understand why she can't play with her mother at that time.. she is just being a toddler, what make you think she knows the difference between " work time and play time" I am always for tapping that butt and times when you say "NO" like when she is attempting to play with an electric socket, but I just think 21 months is just to small to be slapping.. Thats one thing that sends chills up my spine . someone slapping another person and slapping a child is as bad... Please find a solution for your issue, you really don't want it to become any worst as your temper is apparently not controllable,,
• Japan
4 Nov 12
Thank you all guys for a heart touching advice. I really feel guilty...so sorry. I will take this as a precautions. Yeah I know I am just stressed out with loads of work to do from household chores and my online business. I can't say I don't have time for my kids I always prioritize them first of course. But I have to settle and entertain my buyers too. Really hard to manage both sides. Well, I already talk to my husband about this issue. We see my daughter is really interested in playing my computer aside from having iPad and installed games and kids song etc. She type the letters and know the enter key,also know where is the on button. So we are planning to invest a computer even the second hand one for her to play. By then let me see if it works. For now we just let her play my laptop and wait 'till she finds another interest. Maybe I should back up my files soon...lol Again I am so sorry if I hurt my co-mylotters feelings too.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
4 Nov 12
Oh shaina, I really respect this response to my response...I really was feeling so bad for you and your child...But it really may not be as bad as I thought, still bad, but not as bad. I was happy to hear that there was a hubby involved... You will be OK, I just think that you were at a point to ecplode and thats not good... Have a wonderful week and make sure you remember to curb that anger with your child...you don't want her to remember those slaps....she is still a toddler.... Good Luck!!!!!
@dodo19 (32682)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
5 Nov 12
Being a mother, I can certainly understand your frustration. My daughter is 11 months old, and there are days when she frustrates the hell out of me as well. It's going to happen, from time to time. But for me, slapping is not an option. You have to remember that she's only 21 months old. She's just a child. You are her mother, and it's normal for her to want to play with you, be with you, and even at times do things like you. You can always try and find a way for her to play, while you're doing your work. You can always probably manage to do some work, while she naps as well (as I imagine that she will still nap).
@dodo19 (32682)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
5 Nov 12
Besides, I don't think that children really learn, when they're slapped. And, in her mind, she doesn't know or understand what she's doing wrong, when she comes to you when you're working.
1 person likes this
@alberello (4755)
• Italy
3 Nov 12
Well, I can give you a personal opinion, not as a parent because I, although 37 years old, not married and are therefore not a father. You know 21 months, your daughter is still a little girl. Of course, just wants to play, I think you need to find a way to schedule work time and at the same time to devote to her. I just want to point out one thing that struck me in your question: Please do not slap her! She has not even 2 years old, she is just a child! What I wrote remains my personal opinion.
@mydanods (6761)
• Nigeria
3 Nov 12
i have to agree with alberello. please, do not slap her. she is only expressing her curiosity. every child is curious about this strange world we have brought them into. by doing violence on her, you are telling us that the stress is getting on you in your search for online money.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
3 Nov 12
There are times you have to spend with her and there is some time she can be on her own. She is only 21 months old so it's possible to let her "sleep" in the morning for 1 hour or so and in the afternoon for 2-2.5 hours. This is what I did with my kids. It might also help if you tell her to play alone for some time and after that you allow her to play on your computer some time (which I did with one daughter of mine I had to take with me to the office). You can tell her there is some time you have to work and she has to play alone, and there is time you play together. Use a kitchen-clock and start with 20 till 30 min. first to tell her when it's her and when it's your time. Most things you do (this and sleeping) are part of a habit and it will work if you invest time in that first. An other thing you can do is wake up earlier or work more after she went to bed in the evening. At day time you can spend your time with her and partly try to find some extra time to rest. In the last case it will mean you will have less sleep but it might be worth is. This way you can work more concentrated and faster. I always loved to work at night when everybody was asleep.
• Japan
3 Nov 12
Thanks friend...I like your username because I love kitty Lol Maybe a few more months to go before she fully understand what I am saying or trying to let her do alone. In the afternoon I try to let her sleep at least 2 hours but usually she sleeps 3-4 hours. If you wake her she ended up with tantrums. I think this is the bad habit I have, I also sleep in the afternoon. Let me try changing my sleeping schedule. But I am awake at night working while the kids are asleep.
@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Nov 12
shaina thats just not right as your little girl does not know why you slapped her and she is just a baby .how can you do that? wait til someone is there to entertain her or hire a babysitter a teen maybe for a few hours or wait til she naps or is is in bed. she will sooner or later resent being slapped and you will feel guilty.its normal to resent her activity but still shes just a child not an adult with knowing why you get upset.She is your little girl and she deserves not to be punished for being a baby .hope this helps some.I am elderly but was a mom once too and two is an exasperating age and I had two 1 1 months apart so I know how it can be.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Nov 12
As a parent that is working at home when I can, I can completely see where you are coming from in seeing that your daughter frustrates you while you are trying to get your work done because my children still do it and they are old enough at 6 and 9 years old to mostly be self-sufficient. It seems to me that they wait until I am busy to decide that they want something from me. With that said, I honestly do think that you are in the wrong to slap your daughter even when she is frustrating you. The reason that I think that you are wrong is because of the fact that she is still just a baby and she is not able to be self-sufficient at all.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
5 Nov 12
My son is 30 months and I do some work from home. If my work involves the computer, I usually wait until he is sleeping or busy with a particular toy. He can sometimes be happy to do work alongside me - he has a toy computer and I can set him up with it on a little table. He wants all of my attention and it's hard for him to understand that I need to do something else. I encourage him to play by himself in his room, which usually allows me about half an hour to work before he wants me to come play with him or read him a book. He also still naps which gives me a couple of hours to work.
• China
4 Nov 12
well, just keep patient, kids always curious about everything.
• United States
3 Nov 12
I would take it this is new for you and do not lose your temper you'll find a scheduled, but instead of trying to work her into yours work your s into hers. Work at nap times or when a favorite show that keeps her interest is on. I have four girls, a home business and I also home school the three oldest. My youngest is 30 months old and very busy. I work when she sleeps, or when her show is on. When I need to work like now when she is busy and the big kids are busy I give her busy work to do, crayons and paper, an old lap top with some games and the such. I do a lot of my work after everyone goes to bed as in reality it doesn't matter how old they are they all need Mom at some point making it hard to get anything done.
@challs12 (549)
• Malaysia
3 Nov 12
I suggest you to buy one kids computer with abc on it or simple game so that she can play with it and act like what you doing. You might be lucky if you daughter can be computer expert at early age. Slapping her has no good point but just broke her heart. As suggest by member earlier, you can on television with cartoon or game that she likes. Or you can make her on bed before you start you online job. But at the same time, keep your eyes on her.
@NailTech (6890)
• United States
3 Nov 12
If you are distraught or stressed to the point of slapping her you have some major stress issues going on and I think you should chill out. I know you think it's wrong and that is a plus. I like what another poster said about giving her time and then the time for your business ventures but you said you already played with her hours before you did your work. Maybe she feels like she wants to get involved, but either way she is just a child and doing what children do. Perhaps she is more hyper than the average child, I hope things get better. I'm not a mom but I like to remind people that you will feel guilty if you have a concience and not forgive or even like yourself after awhile if you continue the assault on her. I don't like to hear or see of any living thing be slapped. That is frightening for me. I always feel hatred for the one doing it.
• Philippines
3 Nov 12
Slapping your 21 month old daughter is a No No. Yes, they can really be hard to contain but they're just kids. i have a 22 month old boy and he's like a tornado when awake! maybe you can try putting her in a playpen, give her enough toys to keep her occupied. And yes, play with her as much as you can :)