How do you calm yourself?

@arystine (1275)
Philippines
November 7, 2012 11:44am CST
I am seething mad. I had an encounter with one of the most egotistic, conceited, and arrogant person. Ever! What's killing me is that I can't even voice out what I think of him because he is my in-law. Now, I am calming myself. I was feeling sleepy and tired when I came home but after that brief encounter, I completely lost that sleepy feeling. I am blazing mad. MyLot has become my shelter when my emotions are too strong. But i thought, why not open this discussion? It's such a good topic to talk about: How to calm yourself after feeling angry. :D Suggestions, anyone? :) Thanks in advance. :)
2 people like this
17 responses
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
7 Nov 12
I calm myself, by dropping everything and taking a long walk. It really helps me calm down here. Problems is, i do it once per day. Take care there.
1 person likes this
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
7 Nov 12
Maybe I can do that tomorrow at our workplace and take a walk at the park nearby. Maybe it would ease the anger that have bottled up. :( Thanks for the suggestion mariaperalta. :)
1 person likes this
• Mexico
8 Nov 12
I did it yesterday afternoon, i felt all stressed out. Sure helped me. Take care.
@cobalt20 (1321)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Me too. I am eager to make myself silence and keep calm down. I go to sleep sometimes that makes more calm. I do not want to make myself to be stressful. It makes me tiring.
@lizlee (208)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Hi there! For me, I do take deep breaths to calm me down. It actually works. Plus you get this calming feeling instantly. This always works for me. And of course it would help a lot to go somewhere quiet to calm down your nerves :)
1 person likes this
• Mexico
8 Nov 12
thats a great idea, Ill try that next time.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
I am a quiet person by nature. If I do get mad or upset with something or someone, I would just like keeping it to myself until the bad feeling goes away. But if same things keep on happening, then the only way to do it is to just let it out. I, too have problems with my brother in law. He tends to be a blabber mouth, know-it-all person. Some days I would just let it pass but there was one incident wherein I really could not just let myself to shrug it off. I was just asking him if he could pipe down coz I was online with my boss via Skype and was in the middle of an online collaboration with another co-worker. Instead of him to make his voice a bit lower, he snapped back at me! It made me real mad and so instead of the usual shrugging off about such incident, I raised my voice and told him he should at least just do what I was asking him. It is not a big thing for him not to do it, besides, it is our house. When I came inside the house, I just had a glass of water to regain my composure. Good thing I had my Skype in mute when I excused myself from the meeting or they would have heard our exchange of words!
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
It is hard not to be able to let my feelings out. I have been raised by my parents to be polite and courteous. I am frank but not rude, unless the person is asking for it. I let things pass sometimes, because I don't want to waste time arguing or to ruin my good mood. But the encounter that I had with a know-it-all brother-n-law is too much to bear. I was so angry and I burst out crying for not being able to defend myself after that encounter. :( Because I tried to maintain my cool but deep inside I was seething mad.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
My brother in law has put me down so many times in the past. Most of the time I would just be crying and not say a word. I was also brought up the same way you did but my patience has reached to the max and the next thing I had in mind was to give him my piece. I mean, if I made a mistake, then maybe I deserve to be hearing those things from him. But for crying out loud, he is beyond reason all the time. We are not best of friends, but we still do talk sometimes, but I really don't like talking to him unless it is really important.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
8 Nov 12
Jenny- I have a sister in usa just like your brother in law. She calls me just to make me sad.
@namiya (1599)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
As much as possible I try to calm down however there are instances in life where your patience are tested. I have experienced this several times and when I really felt it too heavy I leave the house and spend time somewhere to cool off. In times when it is too much to bear I go to church, pray and unburden all my emotions by talking to the Lord. For lesser intensity cases I just lock myself in a room, listen to music and read an entertaining book.
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Thank you for the response. I feel so serene and relaxed just reading about your advice. When I was younger, I used to lie on my bed, curled up with a good book and with music playing softly in the background. :) I also remember the times when my shelter is the church and as if by magic, all my worries are gone after praying. :)
@namiya (1599)
• Philippines
9 Nov 12
life is a blessing so we will just try to make use of it the most and find means to avoid wasting it on unproductive ways. God bless.
@bounce58 (17526)
• Canada
7 Jan 13
I guess we could never escape these kind of people. I've dealt with a few in my life, and I've always ended up just stressing myself. It's hard for me to cool down, and be calm after I've been riled up. I always have the feeling of saying the last word, or making everybody see it my way. But this usually help the situation. I find that stepping back, and just rationalizing it, and even seeing it from the other person's point of view (even though they are egotistic, conceited, arrogant) is sometimes the only way to calm down. HNY arystine!
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
Hello Bounce. Actually, it is hard to even try to understand these kind of people. Thank God I have never seen him since that night that he pissed me off (to the highest level). I feel sorry for him. :p Thanks for the response. :)
@jpso138 (7844)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
I use to argue with people a lot when I see thing are not going the right way. But now, I keep my cool since I know that getting mad and reacting right away will only make matters worst. I just usually take a deep a breath and remind myself to relax. Nothing can be resolve by fighting fire with fire. But when there is a need where I really need to argue, then I will let that person talk until he or she is done and after which that is the time when I talk and explain.
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
I was more hot-headed when I was younger. But as I grew older, I learned how to keep my cool, just like you. It happened gradually. It is just hard to control what I feel sometimes. Hard to bottle up what I feel especially if the person i'm talking to is an unimaginable jerk. Thanks for the response. :)
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
8 Nov 12
It is a good question about how to calm yourself after feeling angry. I think that we need to think about it whether it is necessary to get angry and let it burst out. If we can calm down and think about the result of bursting out our anger, we will better control ourselves not to lose anger. Only when we are calm can we deal with things and people in a moderate and proper way. To be impulsive is devil to us. Calm down and take care, arystine.
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
I rarely get mad. I am one of the most patient persons that I know. :D It would show you what kind of an A-hole that I dealt with last night, for me to be this affected. Thank you wiliamjisir always, for your kind words. :)
@mzz663 (2775)
• United States
8 Nov 12
Music always seems to help. Reading a book, taking a long soak in the tub and walking helps a lot. sometimes I just drive without having anywhere to go since driving seems to calm me too, but if I'm too mad, I shouldn't drive! Then I might get angrienr at some people and go to jail for having a case of road rage.
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
I do not know how to drive but I know, for some people, driving is relaxing and therapeutic. Good for you, driving is one of your mode to calm yourself down. :) What I would give just to have a long soak in the tub! That is very relaxing. And serene. Just thinking about it calmed my frazzled nerves. Thanks for the response! :)
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Usually when Im in the same situation as yours, I go to my room and just be in silence. Afterwards, I talk to my friends that I can contact thru email (however, I don't talk about my situation) and make myself busy in internet until I'm tired. Then, after I regain my composure, I pray and lift everything to God. have a nice day!
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
Yes, there is no better way to calm yourself than to talk to God and lift everything to Him. Thanks for the response. :)
@nixx_04 (20)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
I calm myself by praying.And surely, god will help you out.
@echoforever (5192)
• United States
2 Jan 13
I know the type you mean. At least you're respectful not to go too far when he is your in-law. Its good to come here and have some solace but I do hope you don't need that solace too often. I just like to lisen to music or something when I get too upset.
@KrauseHome (35035)
• United States
2 Jan 13
My FIL is like this. Always very judgemental and condiscending and it is many times hard to be around him. He can complain about my diabetes while his blood sugars on average are higher than mine all the time and while he is eating a big piece of cake. So personally for me I have to stay away and pray one day he wakes up and changes before something happens. Also saying an extra prayer seems to help calm me down as well.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
hi, when i am angry i sometimes calm my self by breathing deeply outside of the house or even out of the office,sometimes if i can not go out i will just keep my eyes close for minutes,i avoid to be angry because it will ruin my whole day and will only stress me.
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
14 Dec 12
I have a neighbor who is always so negative. He doesn't like living in our neighborhood but says he can't afford to move. I am going to have to tell him; "Talk to the hand" because I don't want to hear his complaining anymore. I think if I do say something to him, then it just might be feel better, rather than just listen to him rant. I calm myself by realizing that I enjoy where I live. The other neighbors are quiet and polite. I look for the positive and am learning not to be overwhelmed when someone rants and vents. It is their problem not mine. I can indeed have a HAPPY day!
• Belgium
8 Nov 12
I just breath deeply and close my eyes for a moment. Then I am calm again
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
8 Nov 12
By breathing, by changing thoughts and choosing to not think about what was upseting me before, by watching something funny, by remembering something funny. They say we are the only ones to control our thoughts and emotions, that is true but it so hard but if we try, in a matter of minutes we could be in a whole other level of conscience.
@Shavkat (62308)
• Philippines
8 Nov 12
I just loaded myself with something to vent out the bad feelings. I will rather take it as a spice in my life. Cheer up!