Physically abusing women
By rmacalalad68
@rmacalalad68 (97)
November 11, 2012 7:49pm CST
A few says ago, I was told of a story about another friend who got mugged by her boyfriend because of too much jealousy. The poor lady suffered some bruises all over her arms and body and a bite on her face to add ( can't imagine how the guy managed to bite her on the face but come' on, he is as daft as a bush doing such). She ended up in the hospital for a few hours and spent a fortune for her medicines considering that her job doesn't pay that much. t's racking my brains why there are guys who hurt abuse their female partners physically. Regardless of whether his jealousy is brought by rumors or facts, it will still not justify his actions. I'm not playing the judge's role here but i think resulting to physical contact against women, unless your back is against the wall that you have to defend yourself from a looming attack, is all inappropriate. Granting for the purpose of discussion, that his jealousy was brought about by a dead right rumor of his partner's unfaithfulness, the treachery act of his partner will not make him less of a man but hurting her physically does. But i would't go down further that line n this discussion since I have heard hurting her partner has been a very hard habit to break (then why is she staying? Heart over brain kind of thing?). I'm not perfect and I do get mad as a hornet at times but I have a strong belief that composure, under any circumstances, best defines your manhood. Have you ever tired hurting a woman and took pride in it? Of if you are a woman, have you ever tried getting beaten by your boyfriend, live-in partner or husband? What would you do if this happens to you? I'm just curious to hear from the point of view of both genders.
6 people like this
23 responses
@sulynsi (2671)
• Canada
12 Nov 12
A man that hit me would be a man that didn't have me for his woman.
I have been very fortunate in that my husband of 28 years is a good man who believes in and applies the counsel in the Bible:
"..husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies...no man ever hated his own flesh, but he feeds and cherishes it..." Eph. 5:28-33
1 person likes this
Congratulations for your accomplishment!
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
13 Nov 12
Thank you so much Sulynsi. Yes, you are really lucky to have not experienced the same. It is really important to grow our relationship with God. His words give us the wisdom. It doesn't fail.
@LovingMySon (224)
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12 Nov 12
No man should ever lay a hand on a woman i dont care what the circumstances are. and if a man does lay a hand on a woman they are a piece of garbage and deserves to get the crap kicked out of them. Men who hit women really make me sick!!!
1 person likes this
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
Exactly my thoughts. It's pure cowardice and insecurities. Thanks LovingMySon.
2 people like this
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
12 Nov 12
sometimes, whether it is a man or woman doing the abusing, people stay with someone like that because they think there is no way out or no alternative. a lot of it has to do with no or low self-esteem. Someone like that makes me wonder where is the love? Someone that uses abuse in a relationship like that is just trying to control someone else and in most cases they can't control them self. A lot of times an abuser will say they are sorry and buy flowers or gifts to try to make up for what they have done and the abused person will be forgiving and really want to believe that it won't, but it most always does happen over and over again.
Getting out of a situation like that is not easy to do. If someone can help get them out, they sometimes go back and the helper ends up either giving up or getting hurt either physically or mentally. She will leave when she is ready. No matter what anyone does, no one can get out of a situation until they realize things will never change.
1 person likes this
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
All i can say is that we are the master of our own fate. You don't let other people decide for you. We can only give advises and it is the sole discretion of the recipient to weight and which to consider. More often than not, the one wearing the shoes is the one having difficulties to make the right decision. This is why need credible friends who have either lived the experience or whose judgment is not clouded by their feelings to help us make it through. Thanks Mzz663.
@picaholic (24)
• United States
12 Nov 12
Anyone that reacts violently or abuses another person is suffering from an abusive childhood or sever mental illness. I would never allow anything like that to happen in my life. I surround myself with positive people. Good topic!
1 person likes this
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
Thanks you so much Picaholic. We are in control of our lives so anything that's happening is something that we allowed.
1 person likes this
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
12 Nov 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this news. Really the guy is deserved for punishment, he did the great cruel to his wife. This kind of abusing activities are great sin and god never forgive this kind of persons. I feel pity for that poor lady.
1 person likes this
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
Hi friend, It's actually a girlfriend so the case is much worst. If he can hurt someone who is not yet his wife, how much more when she marries him? The woman have the luxury of getting out of the relationship considering that they are not married and don't have kids. It's easier.
1 person likes this
@franseman (516)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
Holy cow!!!! Men should never, NEVER do this. I knew a couple and the husband was heavy drinking. He used to beat his wife and their children often. Of course she left him. He once threatened me as well. I told him I was prepared to give him a piece of his own.
The woman in your story should leave this man right away! And also file a declaration!
1 person likes this
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
If you're a wife beater then more or less you will also do the same with your kids if you have one. For those women who are single but in a relationship, what's fearful is when the beating starts to occur right after the marriage. Most of the sugar coating comes during courtship. There is nothing much women can do at this stage because it is expected that men will keep up to his task to be tagged as ideal. But when a guy starts hitting you during your boyfriend / girlfriend stage, it's a no brainer that you should leave him to dry. No further evaluation is needed. If he can do it before any marriage take place, the more he will do it should you decide to tie the knots. Thanks Franseman
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
12 Nov 12
I come from a home where my dad abused my mom an us kids an sadly my sister grew up to be in the same type of realtionship,my had to be in control at all times he didnt just abuse my mom by hitting her by he has her convinced she is dumb an can not do any better an also dosnt deserve any better to this day she is 65 years old an never drove a car because he told her she was to dumb to learn I don't know why he is like that cause my grandparents didnt abuse him that I know of I do know alot of people toold me that know my dad say he is an can't say what they say on mylot but out of 5 of us kids he only speaks to 1 of them yes only one of his kids was good enough for him but why a man abuss a woman I have no idea thankfully I married a man who is nothing like my dad an treats me an our daughters right
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
12 Nov 12
I do tell my mom how smart she is an she can do anything an thankfully my sister seen the light an has moved on to better an is doing good I just don't talk to my dad only my mom an when I do I let her know she is something else will she ever leave him ? I don't think so she is 65 an been with him since she was 14 so she dosnt know any thing else I do know her faamily tried to get her to stay with them an she was scared he would hurt them so she stayed
1 person likes this
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
Reading your response looks to me there is nothing much we can do with the situation of your mother at 65. I would however suggest that you continue to talk to her to make her realize that she is not dumb and that you are around to help her make things right. You have been blessed to break that chain. With you having been married to a man who is nothing like your dad and who treats your daughters right means that you can start to change what you got used to, this time, with you and your husband leading by example as your family expands to younger generations.
1 person likes this
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
At 65 and being with him since she was 14 i must admit would be kind of difficult indeed. I just wish that your mom don't get any of the beating now a days because at her age bones in some parts of her body are already brittle.The verbal abuse is something that your mom could have get used too over time so it doesn't hurt that much anymore considering you said that she already accepted what your dad think of her. It still hurts to know though that she succumbed to your dad's idea of her when he is supposed to adore her more than anyone else. Thanks Enola1692.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Nov 12
hi just lost my whole response copy paste. Like all the others I know its wrong to hit a woman never under any curcumstances is it right. as my husband said'a man who hits his wife becomes not a man but a batterer and a criminal.
What would i do where I hit by my husband? he would be divorced so
quickly his head would be spinning and he would be booted out the front door
with a quick kick on his keaster too. I told my husband that and he
laughed and he patted me on the arm in a pretend punch. we both laughed then kissed and well I will leave that up to your imagination as we headed to our
bedroom.I still miss him though I have been a widow a long time.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
:-) It is evident that you are your husband did have a good time together throughout your relationship, a relationship that is filled with respect for each other. Your husband is spot on in saying that a man who hits his wife becomes not a man but a batterer and a criminal. Thanks Hatley.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
6 Dec 12
Those man are big coward and have issue so they beat woman to feel like a man . I feel so sorry for woman that end up in relationship with men like those ! . I would wish those men that beat woman would have somebody beat them 10 times worse .
@rmacalalad68 (97)
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6 Dec 12
Agreed. I would wish however that they get enlightened instead for them to changed their ways and treat ladies with respect at all times. That way all will end up happy. Call it a wish. I just hope it happens one day.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
12 Nov 12
Any man who physically attacks a woman is awful. If this ever happened to me I would leave the relationship and press charges. There is no way I would put up with that kind of stuff. No one deserves to be treated like that.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
22 Nov 12
Yes people have to know there are consequences. It's sad that so many people do not press charges when these type of attacks happen to them. Many individuals say that they are scared but if they don't do something about it, the attacks will keep happening.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
Bingo Dominique25. Teach them a lesson for life by sending them to jail.
1 person likes this
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
How come that there are still women who are maltreated , battered when in fact women nowadays are very much protected by laws. Philippines have this RA 9262 Anti violence against women and their children. The women is very much protected , so why hide and cover violence. Woman should come out into open and fight for your right. We are meant to be loved and not to be made as punching bag. Come on women , wake up and have a stand , men battered us because we let them , we tolerated them , we allowed them to do that to us ! If you allow that man to harm you , soon you'll die. He is not loving you ! He is not treating you as a toy ! Please women , be brave and know your rights !
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
So very true , if you're that woman there , hiding and covering your partner's demonic act , it is now your own loss ! You're not helping and loving yourself , if you'll not act now , whom do you expect to do that for you ? Sometimes , woman can be the blamed for all the physical harmed they got . Had they done something in the first physical inflictions guess it would not lead to worst and frequent battering.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
Exactly. I can't therefore blame her friend who helped her during the incident to say that she is now on her own. She wad given good advises but decided to still stay with the guy. We can only do so much and we cannot make the decision for them.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
There you go! You are totally right. The law on anti violence against women and their children truly gives full protection. But the law itself does not have the capacity to go out there and seek for you. One needs to take that one big step to be in the open. Why paint yourself into a corner when you have all the faculties in your favor to fight for your rights? Time to wake up. thanks Angelpink.
@romzee (937)
• Philippines
13 Nov 12
Men who abused and hurt their women must be put in jail.
They have no right to mentally or physically abused their partners and their actions cannot be justify for such reasons as jealousy, unfaithfulness or either it's a rumors or plain facts.
Here in our country, Republic Act No. 9262 Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004 (Promulgated March 08, 2004) has been passed to properly address this domestic abuse to women. Woman can defend themselves by suing them to the Regional Trial Court designated as a Family Court which shall have original and exclusive jurisdiction over cases of violence against women and their children under this law.
Women victims can also ask for a protection order from the court.
The reliefs granted under a protection order serve the purpose of safeguarding the victim from further harm, minimizing any disruption in the victim's daily life, and facilitating the opportunity and ability of the victim to independently regain control over her life.
Have a nice day.
Ciao!
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
13 Nov 12
Nicely said Ronzee. Indeed all faculties are available and at the disposal of the grieving party. She just have to take that initial step to to regain control over her life.
@Bluebell18 (636)
• United States
12 Nov 12
Before I was born, my mother was married to an abusive husband. (My older brother & sister's father) He even tried to kill her when she filed for a divorce. It was a revolving cycle. He hit her. She packs up the kids and leave. He calls crying that he misses them all. She goes back to him. Repeat.
I think Queen Latifah said it best; 'A man don't really love you if he hits you.'
@rmacalalad68 (97)
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12 Nov 12
Love is caring in action and not punching. God is love and there is no Godliness is beating your partner. thanks Bluebelle18 fro quoting Queen Latifah's words.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
That's pretty harsh. I wouldn't hit a woman, I've never had. I was cheated on before by my ex and I didn't hit her. Although, getting cheated on really does hurt *a whole lot*. Plus, containment is really hard to manage if you're on the receiving end. I presume the guy on your story doesn't have enough experience when it comes to holding back his anger.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
A confident man would not hurt a woman even though he gets cheated because it would be her lost and not his. Besides, would you be happy to keep a love that is one sided? So I agree with you that holding back your anger and letting go is the best thing to do if reconciliation is impossible to achieve. This is exactly the reason why it is very important that's why when you love someone, make sure that you love her far more greater than she loves you. This way when she's at fault, you can easily forgive and forget.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
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12 Nov 12
Let's bring in some biblical context to the issue:
In Husband understanding and honoring wives:
Husbands were to be understanding and honoring to their wives (1 Peter 3:7)
On verbal violence:
Let know corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers (Ephesians 4:29)
On Condemnation of Violence and Violent Men:
In the same day I will punish those that leap on the threshold, which fill their masters' houses with violence and deceit (Zephaniah 1:9)
Our Responsibility to Held the Abusers accountable:
Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and the needy (Proverbs 31:9)
How to treat each other:
My children, let us not love in the word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18)
The book of life obviously condemns violence. You are right that they should go to prison because God Himself order us to shun those who consistently oppress:
Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition he received of us.
So it is but right to throw them into the dungeons.
Thank you so much for this Cutief
@riyauro (6421)
• India
12 Nov 12
oh my goodness. it is sad that she had to go through this. the only thing ask from god when i hear this is that may god break that hands that raise on the girl. I get very pissed at this and i would not mind wishing bad for the guy in this case. even animals are better than some men. Thanks for sharing and have a wonderful day ahead.. 
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
Here is a more shocking truth that I forgot to mention. I was told, too, that this happened in public. As soon as the guys girlfriend got out of work with her friends....Boom!!! the guys closed fist hit her face without a single word. Imagine how painful that was considering that it is unexpected. A friend who tried breaking them up even suffered the fury of the guy ending up with a bloodied nose. It's really bad. He should have not gotten out of prison but his partner refused to file a complaint and forgave him. I am really dumbfounded and sad at the same time. Thanks Riyauro.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
12 Nov 12
I hate to hear these kind of things .... I was in an abusive marriage for 11 years. The last 4 years he hit me and verbally abused me everyday. One day I woke up and said Ive had enough and left him. Was the best thing I ever did, he is my sons father. And at least today- he has changed. Im glad. he was once a great man.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
While we learn how to love others, it doesn't mean that the process requires us to love ourselves less. You'll be surprise that there are better things waiting for you out there than allowing yourself to be abused daily. Not even martyrdom can describe your decision of staying with a verbally abusive partner. I'm glad you were able to get our of it for the better.
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
12 Nov 12
I can say that I am lucky enough I had never been beaten by my boyfriend since before.Of course, I felt sorry for those who had been beaten for they don't deserve that. Women should be loved and not be beaten. And for those man who are doing that,I think they are ill mannered. And if my boyfriend would threat me to beat or worst if he will beat me, then I don't deserve him. She should treat me like a queen.My parents raised me well and nobody has no authority to beat me even my lover.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
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12 Nov 12
Agreed. I sat my teeth on the edge upon hearing this story because no one has the right to inflict harm on anyone, be the recipient is at fault or not. Such act is taboo and should not be tolerated in any way. This could be really harsh but I think man who does this should be tied up in a tree filled with honey and be left to the mercy of Australian Bull-Dog and Fire ants for envenomation until their whole body, with no space, is left with puss filled itchy bumps that will cause them their sanity , if anything else is left, and worst their life. I agree with you further that every woman deserves to be treated like a queen. No exception. Thanks Kokomo for sharing.
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
12 Nov 12
Let's face it, people are born with differences we are all unique individuals. I will never allow anyone to abuse me whether physical or verbal. I will put into stop at the first time I am hit or just a simple word that will slight me and put my ego down. I work, I am a teacher and most importantly I am a human person. No one has any right to do such things to me. but there are studies that the abusing people were usually the abused ones when they were young.
@rmacalalad68 (97)
•
12 Nov 12
That's why family is very important in the upbringing of an individual. Family is the first and basic institution where your personality is being molded. If you grew up in a family where violence is a normal scene on a daily basis, you will surely inherit these traits. Second is the school where you learn most of the things from 8am to 5pm. If you see your teacher throwing chalks or hitting students with sticks or erasers when they are at fault, then your guru is reinforcing you with the wrong thoughts. Third is peer pressure. While tagged as third, it is the most influential. Thanks Marivic132456.
