how Iam ever going to manage this?

@bunnybon7 (37162)
Holiday, Florida
November 14, 2012 7:51pm CST
Ive been so tired lately, then only sleep 2 hrs at a time. just up and down. I just woke up crying as I had a dream about my aunt. she was so young and alive and just as she was years ago with me. then, i woke and realised shes gone I got on the internet and saw a notify from a friend in Ohio. she said my youngest sons dad,(the youngest that lives here with me) had died and she thought i need to let everyone know. now, our son here has been trying to contact him for a while and been concerned. to top that hes been depressed himself already over his ex is not letting him see the babies that was his life. now I have to tell him this? I dont know how Im going to do this.
8 people like this
12 responses
15 Nov 12
i am sorry to hear about your aunt. I have had a dream like that before too. How i would tell my son if it ever came up is to sit him down and just tell him. i know hes going through a hard time not being able to see his kids because of his ex and hes already depressed but the best thing you can do for him is just be there for him and let him know that whatever he needs you can help him with or at least try too help him with.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Nov 12
i really dont know how to help him. hes really hard to reach at times with his feelings. plus this is a sensitive guy that tatooed his half brothers memorial on his shoulder that he barely knew well a friend of his just text him a couple weeks ago that he'd seen his dad there and said tell him he said hi and looves him its going to be so hard
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Nov 12
You will find a way to tell him. He would most likely want all the bad news at once, rather than stringing it out while trying to spare him. He'll be depressed but he will manage. I would think the worst is his kids. Everything else would not be as bad as not seeing your kid.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Nov 12
both is just as bad. im so worried for him. he has a tendency to go off the deep end and self medicate and here lately hes been so good about trying to change all that and straighten up and be a better man.
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Nov 12
hi PQ if I remember you were a nurse once so that where you get such'good wisdom. I also feel for her son not getting to see his own children' thats really bad.hope there is a legal recourse that can allow him to have rights to see his own children.Bunnys always had a good head on her shoulders so I think her son will also bear up under bad news.
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Nov 12
thanks Hatley. but thats one of the problems here. he takes his sensitiveness after me. his dad was always a bit more collcted with things.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (101789)
• United States
15 Nov 12
You will just do it, directly, as soon as you have the opportunity, to save him any more worry on that front. As far as your dream goes, this time of year we have lots of family memories and issues that we revisit, either awake or asleep. About those babies, why does he not petition for his rights to see them. You too. In most states grandparents have the right to see the grand children. The lack of sleep gets to be a vicious circle. You need to quit watching TV and working on the computer an hour or so before you want to sleep. Do something calming to relax. If you wake up in the night, try not to turn on any lights or keep them minimal and do not look in them much. You are training your brain not to sleep and your body is exhausted. Sometimes it takes a while to retrain your mind and body to do the right thing.
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Nov 12
i know you are right about the sleep. my bigger problem is that ive been talking with my daughter and older son. my youngest is still at work right now.they are not in agreement. oldest son says dont tell him. youngest daughter says i have to tell him in case he finds out later that i knew. Im still chicken. we have decided to wait a few days just to make sure as rumors go on down home so maybe she is wrong.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (101789)
• United States
15 Nov 12
You can search online for the local paper and for an obit announcement to confirm it before you tell him, but you do need to tell him, if you confirm it, as your younger daughter has stated.
• Pamplona, Spain
15 Nov 12
Hiya bunnybon, Just tell them the best way you can. You cannot do anymore than that if you keep listening to the other Family opinions you will be constantly be with a yes or no doubt in your mind. I have had to deliver this kind of news now more than once and if you win yourself "enemies" so be it there is just no other way out of it sometimes. Sometimes what you think is right could be all wrong for other people. I care not for those whom I have tried to be honest with and then they shut the door on me. Way I see it is that one day they might just trap their own fingers none of us is perfect. You go back to sleep bunnybon am sending you lots of love and peace and they are right you need to switch off the television and the computer just a bit before you go to sleep and unwind try it. Luvsya.xxx
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
16 Nov 12
we told him last night. he seems to be handleing it a lot better then i thought he would. but my daughter says hes just putting up a strong face. even tho she told him men can cry and its not a shame at certain times. even the strongest do.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
16 Nov 12
Hiya bunnybon, Always really bad to give such kind of news I know. If he is taking it like that he will probably cry on his own when no one can see him crying. Men do cry of course they do its just that they do not want to let us see them actually crying like that. Putting on a brave face and all that. I really do not like to hear people cry it breaks my heart too sometimes.xxx
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
15 Nov 12
Oh dear... this is really a painful situation to be in. But then, someone has to do it. And I guess you are the right person at the moment. Your son would need you more than anyone else at this time and hence you have to stay strong and composed. I dont know how would I react but then I know you are more stronger than me and more matured too. Prayers and wishes for you, dear bunnybon. Take care
@deazil (4546)
• United States
15 Nov 12
Dear bunny, so many problems going on all at once. I'm sorry for your son in the passing of his father. You've been a good mother in that your kids are so close, even with different fathers. I think you're wise to wait a day or two before telling your son, just in case it is a rumor. But you may want to try and find out, as he may hear it from someone else. Much better to hear it from you. It's good that he's trying to get it together. I have a friend whose son is not allowed to see his little boy because of trouble with the law and a restraining order. It has been almost 2 years for him and he's been trying to set things right. He was living at home with his mother, my friend, but had to move out as the court would not allow her grandson to visit her if he lived there. He saw it was breaking his mother's heart not to see the little guy so he moved out. He also was not married to his son's mother. But back to you. It must be very difficult to sleep with all this going on. GG has, of course, given you excellent advice. She has a reputation for being wise. Here is an article that might help with the sleep issue http://earthclinic.com/CURES/insomnia.html#BBL I understand your son's problem and hope this doesn't cause him to sink into deeper depression. It must be very difficult for him. It's good that your daughter can be with you when you tell him. You should have someone there. Please come back and let us know how everything turns out. Your friends in mylot are concerned and we all care very much for you. I'm sorry I can't give you any more help than just with the sleep. In your place I truly don't know what I would do. But I will pray for you to find the right way. Be strong.
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Nov 12
thank you so much. right now i and my son need all the prayers we can get i need them for knowing how to help him yjrough this and he for being able to get through. he was quite spoiled by his dad for many years till he moved here. was pretty close to him. his dad had remarried a couple of years ago and some how they lost contact. i just dont know how its going to go,
@deazil (4546)
• United States
15 Nov 12
You're welcome, bunny. My thoughts and prayers are with you at a very difficult time. I only wish I could do something more for you.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
It's been over a month now since you have posted this discussion. But I am hopeful that your son was able to cope up with all that has been happening to him.
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
8 Dec 12
yes he seems to be coping . i really hope hes not just pretending to be ok
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
23 Nov 12
Sweety, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you but I m really glad that you told him and things have seemingly worked out. Sometimes these situations bring out the love a family has for each other and I hope that your actions and your daughters are giving him what he needs. My heart to you dear one.
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Nov 12
thanks. i wasnt feeling bad that he passed. i was mostly feeling bad that my son would greive but he took it much better then i thought he would
@somupriti (353)
21 Nov 12
It is really hard to face such a situation in life. It down your moral and psychological barrier that push you to mental stress and depression. However what has been destined can not be altered, we have to bear some things with a heavy heart and tearful eye. Let god give us enormous strength to face this side of life.
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Nov 12
yes thats true.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
17 Nov 12
I hate to hear that you and the family are suffering through such a rough time. It is times like these that I wish I could just jump through the computer and be there. It is hard to be haunted by loss and sometimes it seems it will never end..the pain. There are no words that will help you get through. Hold each other extra close during this time and know that someone in Tennessee is thinking about you.
@ANTIQUELADY (36488)
• United States
16 Nov 12
That is some bad news to report to your son. They will always be our babies no matter what.
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
16 Nov 12
yes ive hugged held him several times today and made him blush by telling him hes my baby and i love him his sister told him last night.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
15 Nov 12
It's probably s.a.d. seasonal affective depression symptoms I have that and often in times like this, holiday times or close to it, I remember loved ones that passed away and sometimes also past disappointments because I used to spend holiday times with them It's very hard losing someone on holiday times, but he has to know otherwise he won't forgive you for keeping the news from him
@bunnybon7 (37162)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Nov 12
we have decided to tell him tomorrow if we can get a chance to truely check it out. im just worried about him drinking to calm the pain or taking something.