What do you do if you have this type of friends?

Malaysia
November 16, 2012 9:24pm CST
I have a friend. But when he has a girlfriend he will forget his friends. When he was in trouble he would ask for help from us. There was once he borrowed money from me just to spend his girlfriend but until now he has not paid the money back to me. Right now i not talking to him. What do you do if you have a friend like this?
4 people like this
26 responses
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 12
hi AkamaruKei, since you already not treating him as your friend as before, the only thing left is to get back your money from him which he borrowed from you earlier. in your case, i believe he has the money to pay you back but he is much more willing to continue to spend on his girlfriend rather than to pay you back. i suggest you to find a time to confront him and ask for the money he owed you. and i would also suggest that you do it in the presence of his girlfriend (when your friend is together with his girlfriend). because of a man's ego, i think the chances of getting back your money would be higher at that time.
• Malaysia
20 Nov 12
He pay me back but not all. My other friend also tell me to get back my money.
@victorywp (3526)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 12
yeah, go ahead and get back your money! i support you from behind. erm, maybe far behind... or maybe i will just giving you a moral support with my heart.
@gunsing (142)
• Indonesia
18 Nov 12
first, collect your money back by any mean possible (if it's consider big money) then say bye-bye; there are billions of people in this world and for sure you can just kick out that kind of friends.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Maybe not big amount of money but i not rich. Whatever i say he dont want to pay back my money. How i can force him if he dont want.
• India
20 Nov 12
if you really need your money back there are lot of ways,you can cheat him or use your other friends and robe him when your are sure that money is in his pocket or so on.
@sravas03 (18)
• India
18 Nov 12
first of all if he is your friend means that you like something in him, if i had a like yours i will try teach him nice lesson and get him back to my friends list.every friend is important man don't lose friends.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
How to teach him some lesson if he does not want pay my money back. I dont like to fight with someone only for that.
• India
20 Nov 12
it is not for money,that is for your friendship, it does not require to fight him to teach lesson,you show him what is importance of a friend,you should plain for. make him realize that he is losing friends because of girls,girls are his weakness so use some of your girl friends.
@jeztrose (1406)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
I think he is not a real friend to begin with.That kind of person only takes advantage on you, he doesn't count you as his real friend. He just uses you for his needs and don't let him do that things to you anymore. It will only lead you in trouble.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
I think what you say is right. He just make problem with us. Sometime i see he is quarrel with other people. I think he has more enemy.
@jeztrose (1406)
• Philippines
21 Nov 12
Right! so as early as now you must avoid in going out with him. There are other guys out there who is a good one, so don't let your self drown to the wrong one.
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
17 Nov 12
I think friends like that are awful and annoying. I have a brother in law who acts that way. When he has a girlfriend he doesn't come to family gatherings or hang out with his brothers. And he is often times borrowing money from family so he only comes around when he needs money. When he doesn't have a girlfriend he's always with his brother. But when he has a girlfriend he disappears. I hope that your friend pays you back.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
That really same with my situation. Some people here not really understand with my discussion. I not care if my friend have a girlfriend and i happy if they find their partner of life, i just dont like when he using me and cheated me.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Nov 12
Sorry to hear that he is using you and cheated you. In what way did he use you? Did he only become your friend to get close to her? It is bad when we know people who really aren't sincerely our friend. I have had that type of experience in the past.
@jenny1015 (13391)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
Sadly, there are people who get so madly in love that they forget to have a life outside the relationship with their partner. I would say I am also guilty of that. when my husband became my boyfriend in College, there was never a day that we weren't together. He would even come over to our house on Sundays so we could go to church together with my family. I didn't ask him to but he just wanted to be with me I guess. While our relationship was getting stronger, I have sort of abandoned my friends. I never had time with my high school friends. All of them would have time to be together on certain weekends coz all of us went to different schools after high school. Well, yes, now looking back, I hope I would have a lot of time being with them, too coz now that i am married, I seem to have lesser chance to be with them . And even though i tell them that i want to be with them most especially if they need a shoulder to cry on, I just couldn't. I think, you just need to remind your friend that you are still there for him but wished that he could spend time with you, too coz you miss the good old times you had together.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
I not care if he have a girlfriend but i dont like when he using my money and say to that girl that was a gift from him. I get cheated by him because he say he want borrowed my money for important things that why i give to him but he is using me.
@jenny1015 (13391)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
So, I guess, you should learn to say no to him if he asks you to lend him money. Maybe that will teach him a lesson on not to aspire in buying thing for his girlfriend if her really has no money to spend in the first place.
@UmiNoor (3477)
• Malaysia
21 Nov 12
This is the type of friend who would just take advantage of your generosity. I would stay away from such people if I were you. You don't have to be friends with people who would only be with you when they don't have anybody else to be with.
• Malaysia
21 Nov 12
Yeah i think so. Thanks for your advice. Right now i not talking with him anymore and we separete with him because he live at another state.
@bryanwmc (1052)
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
That is just his hormones taking control over his physical body and i doubt he can help himself. He is either very much in love with the girl or completely infatuated ,no room for much else ..Don't know about you but i know what it feels like many years ago. But at least i was able to have a balance although difficult ,between regular friends and girlfriend whom i eventually married. People have been known to do a lot of silly and extreme things coz of love, maybe your friend will come around after some time or maybe he will get deeper into the love trance, don't hate him for it, just an occasion reminder to him not to neglect his friends or even family in the pursuit of the endorphin enhancing feeling called love.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Yeah yeah fallin in love but dont use other people money and say to his girlfriend that is from him. If i say the truth thing to that girl i dont know what happen.
• Jacksonville, Florida
18 Nov 12
I did know someone like that too but I stopped being friends with them. With friends like that you don't need enemies!
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Yeah i dont want to friend with him again. It just waste my time to quarrel with him if he does not want pay back my money.
@cobalt20 (1321)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
Just choose another friend. A friend who is good for you and also trusted at times. If you have a bad friend, you will be affected sometimes. I have experience lending money but he or she will get back something in the future. Just do not good back to your old bad friend.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Yeah sometime i also borrowed my friend money but i not forget to pay back his money. But this friend he borrowed my money and not pay back. I think not only me, he doing this to another friend before.
• Greece
18 Nov 12
Well, it seems that you're friend is so in love with his girl. Actually, it's kind of annoying but I will still hangout with him but slowly drift apart from him or isolate him in order for him to get the message and feel the same thing that I'm feeling about him. If he;s a good friend when he does not have a gf, i will talk to him nicely and tell him what i feel to save our friendship.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
He borrowed my money and not pay back my money until now. I not ask my money back if it is very important things. If is just for to spend his girlfriend of course i want my money back.
@wolfie34 (26820)
• United Kingdom
18 Nov 12
Seriously does that constitute a friend? Ask yourself what a friend means to you and does this guy match up to your expectations? Sounds like he doesn't. To me he sounds like a grade one user and I wouldn't bother with him. Life is too short, be around people who value your friendship not see you as a convenience.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Maybe only i am and my friend only think he is friend but maybe he not think us as a friend.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
17 Nov 12
I dont think he really forget you , he just want to spend time with the woman he love , we just have to accept that our friends may have a personal love life that dont include us at times . If I have a friend like that that borrow my money and never pay me back why not say something to him . I think you should sit your friend down and talk to him , let him know how you feel and how he has been acting whenever he has a girl . If you feel your friend is not a good friend get another friend .
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
I know he is using me because i have money. I like if he have his partner in his life but i dont like when he is using other friend money to spend his girlfriend. We not a bank we also need a money.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
17 Nov 12
some people are like that they might be users, they might not be if they have gf they forget their friends if they have a job they forget their friends I've also read on here some men who have gfs but ignore them to be with friends or family I treat them the way they treat me, so it's not a big deal if they only come to me when they need, I will not lend them any money or help if I was their gfs, and they spend more time with friends, I will find someone else as in money owed, you'd better get it back
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Maybe i also very idiot because give him a money in that time. I really trust him because he say it is for important things. In this year also he ask money from me and say it is for important things and i know he want using money to spend his girlfriend.
@uchelink (200)
• Nigeria
17 Nov 12
It always happen with friend of friends whenever your guy has a girl friend he now had to give her more attention than you ... If you don't like the way things are going between you and him... Just try and talk to him.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
I dont want to friend with him again because he is using my money to his girlfriend. Sometime he say with us he using the girl money so do you like this type of friend?
@Shavkat (54399)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
Some people are like the attitude of your friend. I guess, he doesn't know how to balance his life having a relationship. You just need to understand him, it is an attitude.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
I know a lot of people have type of that attitude. I just dont like when he is using me. 3 years i waiting he pay back my money. I give him money because he say it is for important things but when i see he using for spend to a girl and i think i got cheated. Now i know he just friend with me because he want using me.
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
I don't know much about your friend, but basing from what you wrote here, he seems to be a user. He only remember you when he needs something and after that forget your relationship. Well, I think you should be thankful on the other hand. You have all the reason to forget that friend, he is not worth a friend.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Yeah he is using me because i have a money. Maybe that also my fault because i very trust him.
@rockyk (160)
• India
17 Nov 12
Well, here is the answer. A friend in deed is a friend indeed. So, you are being a good friend. However, at the same time, if your friend thinks of you only when he needs your help, then he is no friend. So, basically he is not a friend. Forget him. If he does ask for help, do what you can but dont give something that you know will not come back to you, like money.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Now i know he friend with me just want to using me. Maybe you are right that is not we call a friend. Maybe i am look to weak for him.
• India
17 Nov 12
Not only your friend, all guys around us are like that. If they found a girl friend they will forgot us. If they are in some trouble they will ask help to us. We can't change such characters. Just be a good friend for him.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
You say all guys like that. No you wrong i not type that person. I do not like when he borrowed my money just for his girlfriend and not pay me back. Do you like when your friend do that to you? Using you and cheated you or maybe you also have attitude like that?
@Raine38 (9032)
• United States
17 Nov 12
If I were with you, I would start distancing myself from him and I would hang out with some other friends instead. But I will remind him of the money he borrowed from me. A debt is a debt, no matter who borrowed from whom, and it must be paid back, unless of course I am already so rich that I can ignore the money I lent him. I will give him the space he needs long enough for him to realize that he's being a bad friend. But if he will not snap out of it, then I guess I will be far off better being friends with other people who know the real meaning of friendship.
• Malaysia
18 Nov 12
Yeah long time i not talking to him, i friend with him when i study in some college 3 years ago. First time when i meet him, he is good friend because he always give me advice about something but when it happen like this it's make frustrate dwith him. I still waiting he pay may debt maybe not much but that is a debt and i also need a money right too. I hope he will know the true friendship in someday.