Have you ever had to stop a habit and try to replace it?

United States
November 17, 2012 12:07am CST
I have this habit of always buying my husband something. When I'm out in about I often times think I should grab him or that. But I have been trying to stop this habit/impulse since I need to start saving to better provide for my daughter and I. I'm pretty sure that in a years time we will be going our separate ways. He would like to move to a different area and I plan on staying in this area. He wants a single life so I will let him go get it. I want to take care of myself and my daughter so I need to get more work and not spend my money but save it. So that when our lease is up here things will not be so tight when we go our separate ways.
3 people like this
12 responses
@jeztrose (1406)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
For me the habit that i had stop is going out,i usually go out with my firends, my boyfriend and even my sister when i have nothing to do, or when i feel bored, even if i have no money, i just want to go out. but now since i am married and i had a son i already stop it. I have to put attention to my family and work.And everyday since then i became very busy.Though i miss those times but i think it's ok this way now.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Nov 12
Yeah going out with friends is enjoyable. Especially when we are bored and don't have much to do at home. Glad to hear that things are going the way that you would like them too. That you are able to work and focus on your family.
1 person likes this
@sweety_81 (2129)
• India
19 Nov 12
Yes, family needs much more attention than friends and relatives once a person gets married.
1 person likes this
@jeztrose (1406)
• Philippines
21 Nov 12
You just need to adjust yourself, at first it is really hard since you are not used to it. But when time goes by,you will find yourself enjoying with your family.The happiness that family gives to you really differ from others.
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
17 Nov 12
The habit I got rid of is shopping every payday when I was working. Most especially if there would be a big sale in the mall, that is surely the next place for me to go after work. But of course, I had to think of my growing family. And so, I really need to change my ways.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Nov 12
I hope that you are doing better with your shopping. Shopping though is very fun especially when you have the money to buy something you want. It is hard to keep that in check. For me it's hard with shopping online. I just love to receive things in the mail. And my wishlist for Amazon is like 15 pages long. But I try to limit myself to only so much every few months with items that qualify for free shipping.
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
20 Nov 12
I have it under control-- because I don't have a job and I really don't feel like buying anything from my online earnings other than buying food for my kids or other stuff that they need in school. Being a stay at home mom tamed me!
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 13
I'm glad that you have it under control. I'm doing so much better. Especially since we had like five emergencies happen all in the same time period, it really put my thoughts of having a better savings in check. I do not want to go through those things again. I only work six hours a week outside the house and so when I had the little money I often wanted to buy myself something. But now I'm working to save it and am becoming a more tame stay at home mom as well.
@mzz663 (2776)
• United States
18 Nov 12
When you go shopping, maybe start thinking before you get to the register of the reasons you think you should get stuff for him. Does he get you and your daughter anything? If he wants to go separate ways, you should be saving the money for you and your daughter for later in case you need it. Every time you go to the store and get things for him, add up how much all of it will cost and then I would put it all back and put that amount in a savings account somewhere and see how it all adds up. If someone doesn't want to stay around and be part of your life, I would get them nothing at all.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Nov 12
Unfortunately my husband hardly ever buys us anything. I know that I need to save the money for my daughter and I when we separate. It will cost a lot of money to move and get into our own place and to keep up with all the bills. So whenever I'm tempted to buy him something I often have to remind myself of that. Yes, I agree with you that I shouldn't buy things for people who don't want to be around or apart of my life. I have tried to hard to make things work and it doesn't work out. He just ends up being unappreciative of my efforts anyway. So it is best to set it aside for savings account like you said. And I'm sure it will start to add up.
1 person likes this
@JamesKYTan (1607)
• Malaysia
17 Nov 12
Impulse buying is a bad habit because we tend to spend on unnecessary things. Since you planning for the future with your daughter, it is best that you start to save consistently. If possible save certain percentage from your income so that you can achieve financial freedom in the future. Savings and investments also can generate passive income for your future. All the best!
2 people like this
• United States
19 Nov 12
Yeah I agree with you. Impulse buying is not a good thing. Usually for us it's some restaurant take out that he likes or a special coffee from a cafe shop. Which we really don't need. I have done good recently. I plan to keep working at saving and not spend any money unnecessarily.
@sweety_81 (2129)
• India
19 Nov 12
It feels sad to know that you will be separating from your husband. Yes, once we have children, we must plan our buyings and expenses in such a way that our children must not suffer, when it comes to spending on them. We should save enough for their education, clothing, reasonable pocket money and fashion accessories etc. Yes, we should also teach them not to spend without reason, and inculcate habits of savings in them from early ages.
• United States
19 Nov 12
I agree with all that you said. So my savings will have to continue to grow since there are so many things that I will have to try to take care of. My husband doesn't want to pay child support but I'm pretty sure that he doesn't have a choice with the way things work now a days. So I just let him think what he wants too until that time comes. It is sad that some people don't want to take care of their responsibilities. But I will do my best to prepare to take care of my daughter and I.
• United States
17 Nov 12
I had to stop eating a lot o fjunk food so I don't gain weight. I know all about spending money on a man. I bought adrian so much for christmas. I will have to let him open it early since he is going to be away for the holiday.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Nov 12
Yeah I understand what you mean about getting junk food. Now with the weather getting colder I don't have motivation to go out and walk like we did during the summer and fall time. So I should stay away from junk food as well. I'm sure that you did spend a lot on Adrian. When holidays come around people spend sometimes more than what they had planned too.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
17 Nov 12
I have the habit of buying the dresses (saree specially) whenever I see the new design and colour. My hubby always shout on me for such buying but I cannot stop buying new sarees.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Nov 12
Yeah shopping can be really found. My husband would be upset as well if I bought a certain type of dress when a new style came out. Right now I have to work hard at not shopping since I'm trying to save. This is not an easy thing to do.
• India
17 Nov 12
It's a really bad habit you know. So many days i had a bad habit of watching movies through out the day and missed my educational hours. Now i completely stopped the habit of watching tv and reading very well. I hope you also get the rid of your bad habit and start saving your valuable money.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Nov 12
Glad to hear that you were able to stop watching tv and that you started reading for school. TV is more entertaining but school work is important. I will continue to work on saving. We really need to get our savings going.
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
17 Nov 12
My sister and I tend to buy what we like when we go shopping in the mall. We ended up overspend and buying clothes we hardly use. So, we decided to advise each other not to buy when we try the clothes in the fitting room unless the dress is absolutely beautiful and worth the money. Make sure there is practicality too. We now buy insurance as a form of forced saving and investment. It is good that you have made the decision to spend less and save more Keep it up :)
• United States
22 Mar 13
That is good that you both advise each other. It is very easy to overspend when out. That is one good thing about not going out often because we will more than likely see something we like at that moment. I will have to keep working on this so that I watch how much money I spend. Yes it is good to buy insurance.
• United States
17 Nov 12
You are buying stuff for someone you say you don't see a future with. I don't know all of the details surrounding your situation; however, that impulse suggests that, perhaps, you should consider trying to work out your issues with him in therapy rather than simply writing off the relationship.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 12
Thanks for your suggestion. I appreciate. I like to buy my family and friends gift. It is I guess one of my hobbies. I like to get people things that they like or something that interest them. Unfortunately though my husband would never go to therapy. He would laugh at me if I even mentioned. And the one big problem is that he is a person that isn't willing to make adjustments or changes because he doesn't want to. So therapy for us would be a waste of money because if he went he would not plan on applying anything he learned.
@Mavic123456 (7910)
• Thailand
17 Nov 12
Yes, I had the habit but I have outgrown it. It was not replaced by anything it was just a bad habit and it has to be outgrown. LOL Now I don't do that habit anymore yepeeeee.... because I look like fool if I do that. and my sisters will laugh at me everytime they see me doing that. arrrgh... bad habits are hard to break... arrrrgh!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 12
Glad to hear that you have outgrown your habit. That is a good thing. Habits are really hard to break. It is said that if we do something for 21 straight days it becomes a habit. So we do have many habits whether good or bad. We've got to work on the good ones.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Nov 12
I always do such things, sometimes I make an aim but after a while I may think it is not suitable for me,so I will change to make another.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Nov 12
Yeah it is good to adjust our habits. It does help us to improve ourselves when we are striving to meet different goals. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it. Have a great evening.