what would you do if an ex- starts working at the same company as yourself?

@mydanods (1017)
Nigeria
November 18, 2012 12:55am CST
how would you feel if a former bf or gf whom you have completely cut off all contact with eventually starts working in the same company and department as yourself? what would your reaction be, and how would you comport yourself if both of you have to meet and maybe exchange company affairs on a daily basis. help please
7 responses
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
Well, I think that anybody who would be in that situation should set aside whatever ill feelings they must have felt before and just be professional enough to work with each other. There is no sense in holding grudges anymore coz the performance of either one can surely be affected. Much better if they become friend again and let bygones be bygones.
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
19 Nov 12
easier said than done, jenny. bygones cannot really be bygones when you both have shared lives and shared memories; all from the past.
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
19 Nov 12
Well, yes, maybe to some. But if the person is wiser enough, I think he/she ought to just forget whatever happened between them while they are working together. Professionalism should be the primary concern.
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
19 Nov 12
i agree, jenny. easier said though than done. when little disagreements arise, when a little fracas erupts, you could find yourself falling into old ways. professionalism though can really help to make one work together with whomever, whether enemies or foes.
• India
18 Nov 12
The situation is you cant avoid working, so better ignore as its only thing you can do, or if they talk or say hello , then just formal talk .
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
19 Nov 12
formal talk. i'd say, talk only when other people are around. thanks, arnold.
@maximax8 (27049)
18 Nov 12
I would be very sad if an ex-boyfriend began teaching at a school that I was teaching at on a permanent contract. I would be worried to see him at break times in the staff room. It would be annoying to have him working at the same school as me. Our relationship would have failed in the past and there would be no way I would start up our romance again. In the staff room for break time and staff meetings I would avoid sitting next to him. I believe I should keep a distance from him if that situation ever happened.
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
19 Nov 12
thanks for your advice. i will take it to heart. it could really be a stressful time for you, when you both started seeing yourselves in public together after the breakup and having to act like there was nothing wrong.
@aabuda (1729)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
Well, actually it is happening on me...my former partner is still working in our company and that I am not totally affected...we just try to be friends and work professionally...
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
19 Nov 12
you must have a strong personality. i really do admire your courage and stance.
@prashu228 (18693)
• India
18 Nov 12
Hmmm just ignore and ignore as the relation is already over and we have got nothing to do with them now.We didn't do any crime to cover our face and be away from them .If we keep going away , then people think that we are at the wrong end. If we are clear with our point then why should we hide anyway.
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
19 Nov 12
despite that, the emotions can be tricky and deceptive. well, if you can control yourself, then you can ignore him/her. thanks prashu.
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
It is not a problem with me as long as I had already move on. I think there is no problem in that with me. Right now, I have an ex who is actually working, not totally working in our company but he has been going to our company for his tasks because he is a roving teller on a particular bank. I just take it as a small world with us but it doesn't mean that we are meant to be.
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
19 Nov 12
thanks. i take it that both of you get to see often and interact often. does it not affect you in any way, emotionally, like bring back memories of the past?
@jalucia (1435)
• United States
18 Nov 12
Quit!!! If that doesn't work for you then I would try my hardest to approach the working relationship as just that, a working relationship. Don't mention anything personal, smile and be polite. This will make things easier for you and your ex will probably be amazed at how cool you can remain.
@mydanods (1017)
• Nigeria
19 Nov 12
thanks. that would be the natural thing to do. i was wondering if the ex- wanted to make snippets about the past through non-verbal cues, since he/she knows your weaknesses and why the break up started.