So Judgemental...

United Kingdom
November 18, 2012 4:16am CST
I am sure that every one of us has been judgemental at some point. Perhaps even without realising that we are being so. I am sure that we have all been judged both negatively and positively. People are judgemental of all things from the job we do (or don't do) to our religious beliefs (or lack of them). We make judgements by nature but why do people feel the need to be so horrible sometimes? We can never always agree, everyone has different opinions and discussions are welcome. I wonder, however, how some of the ways we judge come about? Are they innate or are they taught? Do we judge people differently depending on our experiences? And does being judgemental have a purpose?
2 people like this
12 responses
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
18 Nov 12
I have to admit that I am very judgmental, but that I learnt at a very young age, because I didn't fit in, I was judged as worthless, ugly and stupid, bullied at a young age right through to adulthood, I was never worthy, never good enough, and rejection became commonplace. Then I came to judge myself, I am at times my own worst enemy because I judge myself on how others perceive me. That is probably why I have such low self esteem and little to no confidence. This in turn has made me angry and yes full of hate, so in turn I judge other people and I actually reject people before they have a chance to reject me, I have defense barriers up so people don't get near me and yes as well as judging myself harshly I will judge others with equality.
• China
19 Nov 12
I think you did right.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
20 Nov 12
I can fully understand that. You have learned a need to use judgement as a defence, to stop people getting close who might potentially hurt you. It is sad but it is understandable.
• United Kingdom
20 Nov 12
That's what I meant to say: So, would you say that your judgements are based on experiences more so than it being inherent in nature? Do you think you would judge people differently - or at all - had you not been judged so at a young age?
• China
19 Nov 12
If everyone around you say that you are a bad man, you would really be a bad man. This might be a purpose of being judgemental.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
20 Nov 12
Yes, I can see that one purpose of being judgemental is to protect ourselves and others. However, are you saying that someone must be bad because everyone else says they are? What if you had been in the situation of the bad man? Would that alter your judgement? Do you think that we make unfair judgements because we are unwilling to discover factual information?
• China
21 Nov 12
I would not say that, i was that bad man, and i was in the situation. And the point is i did not care. I tryed to treat others the way I'd like to be theated. It is not equal to they must do it that way. I will never live in this world depending on others judgements. that will make me tired. I am happy because they found they need me finally.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
18 Nov 12
Hi pumpkinjam For me, I am quite judgemental - often like a critic who tries to see the pros and cons of almost everything and I do consider this as an unhealthy thing at times. Maybe this is so so deep rooted in me because I am a cuspian (virgo and libra). I think many of us are taught to be that way - judgemental. But many a times it comes to us as an instinct - like for me. Without being judgemental, would make us similar to animals who go mostly bu their instincts and whims. It is unfortunate though but needed for the society which we are a part of.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
18 Nov 12
I don't see looking for pros and cons is entirely the same as being judgemental but I do understand your point. It is important to be critical otherwise we could not function as human beings. It is necessary to make certain judgements. I think it is just unfortunate that some people are too quick to judge. I think that it is needed for society but I think that there are too many people who make unfair judgements with little or no basis.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
18 Nov 12
The true judgments should be unbiased otherwise, one can fall prey to various feelings, emotions and it would be a kind of as you say unfair judgement
1 person likes this
@Paper_Doll (2375)
• Philippines
22 Nov 12
I think that when a person of a different belief tries to help one in his problems, in some ways, he may sound judgemental to the one he is giving advice. Why? It is simply because they have different set of standards. This one can be acceptable to this person but may be unacceptable to the other. When you hear something that is new to you, would you believe in instant? Many would say No. So whenever we hear different beliefs, logics, explanations and the likes, we are often reluctant to believe and sometimes, our minds are closed to them. We may think that they are lying and are just trying to fool us, or for some, they are being judgemental. There are times that a person is really just wanted to share what he knows that he thinks may explain and help the other. But the problem is he was not able to deliver or say his words in a manner that would very considerate of the other. So I think that it also has something to do on how you choose your words and how you deliver them. In times like this, Colossians 4:6 could be a great help which says, Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
22 Nov 12
I can relate to your theory. I suppose that being judgemental can be our personal perception. Just because someone thinks differently, they may come across as being judgemental when they do not mean to be.
@averygirl72 (16620)
• Philippines
19 Nov 12
For me I usually judge people but my judgement is true and I don't distort or invent opinions. I definitely have many first impressions on people some of them true some of them turned out false.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
20 Nov 12
I think that is true of most people. I seem to have an innate ability to know really bad people just by looking at them. There have not been many but I've always been right! Most people, though, I will get to know them and judge them on their character. Usually they turn out perfectly pleasant. :)
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
19 Nov 12
I know that being judgemental is quite natural for human beings. However, it is written that we should not judge other people. And they say too, "that don't judge the book by its cover." What I don't like about being judgemental is judging someone wrongly. It's hard to deal with people who do this. The reputation of one being judged is affected and it is unfair.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
20 Nov 12
I agree with you there. It is hard to deal with people who judge incorrectly. I think that we should judge people on their personalities and merits. One problem I find with being too quick to judge is that we often only know one or two facts about the person we are judging. You could be given, for example, two facts about a person and make an entirely different judgement from that which would be made from two other facts. I tried to experiment with that theory on here once but the only respondents knew me well and were not judgemental so it didn't work!
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
18 Nov 12
I think that everyone is judgmental over someone or some thing. it is human nature, it is what we do in thos judgments that makes us the eople we are.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
20 Nov 12
I think you have a good point there. It is in our nature to judge but we will do different things with those judgements. Do you think that how we judge depends on our nature or on our experiences?
@Mavic123456 (12625)
• Thailand
18 Nov 12
I agree and I admit. I am guilty for being judgemental. But you are right. sometimes the reason why we are becoming judgemental it is because we have experienced something about the race, culture or types of people. so once we see one we would say that "that person is.. " based on what had experienced. But hey we are humans and it is part of human nature to remember the pain when hurt. But some being judgemental are taught. A kid having bad feeling about a certain race of kid may be brought about that parents' are racist or judgemental too. Learned from role modeling perhaps.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
18 Nov 12
I certainly agree with the last thing you said. Many people say that we should learn from our children. Children accept people for who they are. They like you if you're nice/kind to them. They will dislike you if you are not. Nothing to do with race, religion, etc. Other than being judgemental because we have had certain experiences, I think we can be just as judgemental if we haven't. Then they are judging without knowledge. This is the worst thing in my opinion. If someone has encountered a lot of a particular group of people who have all been of a certain disposition then it is understandable that it might be presumed that all of their "kind" are the same. However, if you have not experienced things then it is even more unfair to judge.
@aabuda (1729)
• Philippines
18 Nov 12
I think it is by nature that we humans tend to do it...we are judgmental in everything that we encounter or experiences in life...be it good or bad...I think we don't have the right to judged a particular person...but we can't actually blame ourselves for being such if we actually found it to that person.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
18 Nov 12
I do think it is natural to make judgements but I think the particular judgement we make has a lot to do with how we perceive things and on our personalities. What I mean is that, while everyone will naturally make judgements, some are more vocal in theirs and different people make different judgements depending on their experiences, opinions and interactions. People's judgements and opinions might change as they learn or experience more.
@vycess (1590)
• Saudi Arabia
18 Nov 12
Honestly sometimes I do prejudice or judge other people, I really don't know the reason behind it but sometimes there's a point where in after I've said something bad I realized that nobody's perfect and I don't have the right to judge them.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
18 Nov 12
Thank you for your honest response. :)
@natliegleb (5184)
• India
20 Nov 12
ya people remain judgemental all the time,but its all about us and how we welcome and take it in the stride with great zeal and positive effect matters a lot for sure
1 person likes this
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
10 Dec 12
We all have values and I think, most of us are cautious. I think it is OK to evaluate another viewpoint or religious beliefs. But not to personally attack. We can agree to disagree. But we don't need to agree with each other's viewpoints, opinions or beliefs. We can be open to learn from others but at the same time, maintain our own understandings and beliefs. We do need to be kind to one another.