Woman thou shall not commit a sin before the eyes of a man --- so big deal

@grace147 (223)
Philippines
November 22, 2012 5:48pm CST
As I watch a reality show on our local channels that handles family dispute and settlement, a question came into my mind and ask outright - why is it so big deal before the eyes of a man if he thinks his wife commit a sin and when if they are the one who commit a sin, i mean the male , we girls easily forget and patched it up. But for men, its so big deal that they will recollect over and over and over again everytime a confrontation comes between. The topic was all about a woman who was caught by her husband having a coffee with her former boyfriend in a certain coffee shop. The husband dont accept any explanations from the wife and right away arrived on a fixed conclusion that his wife is playing around. No matter what explanations the wife did, that it was just a coincidence they bump each other and talk over a cup of coffee for a while - its already adultery as the husband speak. With just a single moment of talk from a friend, it already became her nightmare and living on a concentration camp for his husband always rubbed to her face that very moment. As if the wife committed a mortal sin with a punishment of lifetime suffering. Trust has been tarnished and the way i look at the incident the husband stripped away the right of the wife to freedom. The wife became more submissive to the husband just to avoid confrontation. The wife no longer question her husband why sometimes he came home late just avoid arguments for in the long run it will turn to her past mistake again and more so the wife is no longer a person who lives with him with sincere love and care because all she got is fear and unspoken hatred. I find this so unfair and base on my opinion, the husband already use the issue an alibi maybe of his own hidden monkey business - for who kmows, his husband is the one committing adultery and just use the mistake of his wife as an scapegoat.
5 responses
• Australia
23 Nov 12
talking about adultery,anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. which is tated on the book of matthew chapter 5:28
• Philippines
23 Nov 12
I agree with you swetify620 if we based on the law of God, but in the law of the land which we are now standing it is not applicable. By the constitution, adultery commits only when a certain girl/wife caught in the act with two eyes with the husband having and affair with another men (single or married). Because we are human and we are not perfect as the God, when we are looking a certain girl even if invites our attention to appreciate her beauty it cannot be considered as "adultery" by heart. The mind is the center of all information which the heart is only subsequent to this. adultery is a sin committed by action and not by heart...
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
I have had that same debate with my husband. And it just irritated me more when he told me that whatever mistake a man commits, the society accepts it , PERIOD! I don't think that it is fiar to be just nodding all the time, right? People should have equal right. Not that I am saying that women should also give in to extra marital affairs. But just like what you have cited. The wife was just having coffee with a former boyfriend and that there was nothing more to that. She was judged right there and then by the husband without really knowing the whole truth. She wasn't guilty of anything and yet she was treated as such. I think that no matter how much advanced our technology will become, there would always be a DOUBLE STANDARD in our society.
• Australia
23 Nov 12
while im reading this story,not because im a girl too it is so unfair if no one will listen her explaination..maybe those male its just a freind or maybe she just try to be good to someone she knows..how could u settle down the problem if he just not zip his mouth for a while and let the wife finish what going on?im thinking maybe the husband have something hiden because if how jealous u are into ur wife there a time to listen..maybe he used this time so that he can escape what hes doing outside while his wife waiting at home and stay being wife doing a household work and serve the husband when they come home and zip the mouth without any asking y the husband come home late..maybe its her turn to ask back about this,she doesn't need to scared for,she have the right to speak as a wife...
@aejey322 (1006)
• Philippines
23 Nov 12
Life is sometimes really unfair... Men are born with so much ego that they already feel very insulted when their woman commits a sin (and in the girl's case in your story, it wasn't even proven to be a sin!). It is really their ego and pride as a man that makes them do that. And since it is rampant in the society that men involve in 3rd party relationship, they feel that it's alright for them to do that.
@tetris15 (540)
• Philippines
23 Nov 12
It has been a long time debate why men can do it and women can't. I guess society plays a major role to it because we often see men committing adultery and just plainly ignore it because of some reasons that men has nothing to lose compared to women. Also, the psychology of being a man that he can do all things compared to women. More often than not, women get condemned for the same reason that men seems to always have an escape on. I think it's all about who's seeing the situation for them to judge who should be bearing the suffering of their sins because in one way or another, if we are in the situation, especially for women, we tend to keep silent about it and just go about our lives.