Do you check your Husband's or Boyfriend's Mobile ?

@wishjui (271)
India
November 23, 2012 6:34am CST
Suspicion,possessiveness or insecurity? Do you check yous MAN'S mobile whenever he sleeps or leaves his mobile unattended? Is this happens only with women or men also do the same with their female partner? Is it right to do? Does this really solves the purpose of spying your partner? I think the Men (or women) those who are involved in any thing wrong will also be clever enough to delete the call & text history before they face their wife or husband. More than that it keeps us restless if we find nothing and we end up fighting if we find something which is not acceptable.....what should one do in such cases?
3 people like this
40 responses
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
hi, im new here in my lot and i was exploring when i saw you post. well, it struck me because i am also doing it. well in my opinion if you check you BF phone it means that you are involved in something wrong. In my case i check my bf's phone everytime we see each other and i check while he is looking. i am not expecting to see something but as a girl theres always this uncertainty with our man as the saying goes there's always someone better that you and that is encrypted in my mind. the reason that i show my boyfriend that i am checking his phone is because i want him to reassure me. i think all women needs reassurance from their man. about fighting if you dont see anything in the phone, well i think its the mistake of the woman, because if you love your man although you saw that he is texting some other girl you let him explain, i think girls should face that so that it would be clear in the girl's mind what would be her decision in that situation.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
welcome to Mylot!I fully agree you.Keep posting.Thanks!
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
welcome to mylot!It not about wrong or right,its about what you do or do not!I liked the way you posted.Keep posting & thanks!
• United States
23 Nov 12
When I went to my girl friend's home to meet her, she was taking bath and I was in her room and sitting on her bed and waiting for her. Her mobile was on bed. I know that it's bad thing to touch her personal things without her permission so I didn't touch but after some time, I hold her phone to see, what name she saved my contact number in her mobile. I dialed my number and the name was appearing on her cell phone was "My DOG" :-D You can imagine what I felt that time :-(
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hi lovebirds!Did you speak to her about this?Like to know more...its really annoying and hurting!Thanks for posting.
• United States
25 Nov 12
o yeah! I asked her. She was angry because I touched her mobile without her permission. She was shouting on me and my ear was being pulled by her. After sometime, I asked again. She was smiling and than asked to me, "Don't you be as I want to see you?". I was wondering and asked her, "why a dog?". She than replied that she wants me as loyal as a dog loyal to his/her owner.
• Japan
23 Nov 12
I don't! Even he leave if anywhere in the house but I always take photo on my mobile and send it to him and surprise him like that haha. I think checking your mans mobile is just sign of no trust? I don't know haha I trust my hubby and no need to check his phone??
@wishjui (271)
• India
23 Nov 12
Nice to hear Kyle!You both are blessed couple.Thanks!
• Japan
24 Nov 12
I know wishjui??and looking forward to be together till we get old haha
@babyanna (1217)
• China
24 Nov 12
No,never. That would be asking for a break-up or divorce. If we love someone, it means that we trust them. And if there're any doubts, confront them. Trust is the base of relationships. If there are no trust between two partners, the relationships are already over. I won't be foolish enough to check my bf's mobile. It's his privacy. And if I feel that my boyfriend is being dishonest with something, I would talk to him. Just like you said, if you check, there would be a fight anyway if your partner finds out.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Great Babyanna! I like and agree!Thanks!
@jjzone44 (917)
• United States
24 Nov 12
No, we don't check each other's mobile, although each of us could if we wanted to. All of our phones set on the counter when we charge them, but there are no secrets. Same for our email, we know each other's passwords and the like, but we don't look at each other's mail. There is simply no need too, we are not keeping any secrets from each other. Except for Christmas shopping of course, neither of us wants to know what our gifts are before we receive them, it's just not fun that way.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hi! I appreciate that..keep posting,thanks.
@jenny1015 (13388)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
Well, I think that we all have to have our own privacy even if we are already married. After all, we are our own individual, right? But that doesn't happen here in my home. I learned that my husband would be checking out on my phone. And when he sees a name of a person that he doesn't know, he deletes the number from my phonebook! Do us wives really have to be telling everything to our husbands, to the point of not keeping something for ourselves? Not that I am having an affair, but sometimes, my friend and I would be texting about some "girly stuff" then he would jut blurt out a really annoying comment. As much as I would want to put my trust in him, I could not fully trust him coz he has done quite a number of slips and I will not let him get away with it again.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
hey! jenny! I think you don't mind my saying something on this? Many of us face the same.... and do not know what to do! Its really good that we trust our partners but at the same time if someone really getting to our nerves then we should rebel and tell on his face that its not done!!! I don't know your way of dealing but if he is not that clean then you too should not bother and can play carefully for your happiness.I believe 'Beauty with brains' is lethal! This my next topic of discussion... plz join!
• United States
24 Nov 12
I have done it before...for good reason! Needless to say, he is now my ex! However, as long as he doesn't show signs of cheating or keeping dangerous secrets from me, I leave it alone. It's an invasion of privacy and I wouldn't appreciate anyone doing that to me.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hi! I agree and believe that invasion of privacy is not appreciable but as you said that you did it to your ex.... so don't you think sometimes that checking becomes necessary!of course if one smells something suspicious...then its fine to do the thing! Thanks for posting & sharing!
@jureathome (5363)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
He doesn't mind if I check his phone, and I do it in front of him. I don't wait until he goes out of the room or accidentally leaves his phone, before I'd go for it. I don't take calls for him, though.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hi! great! keep posting...Thanks!
@iamJenny (18)
24 Nov 12
yes I do check my boyfriend's mobile phone, but it's not a problem for him as he has nothing to hide, I trust him but I just want to know who's contacting him :P
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hi Jenny! I liked your honesty!Thanks for posting!
@nykalex88 (244)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
My girlfriend always check my mobile phone and I hate her every time she do that. I am honest with her and she can't give her trust on me. I don't even check his mobile phone because I trust her with all my heart. Sometimes, the situation cause us to argue about nonsense things and then lead it to fight. I hate her every time she check my mobile but I love her with all my heart.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hi nykalex!I understand your situation,let me assure you that your girl loves you a lot and doesn't want to loose you.May be this is the reason she is doing all this but not that she doesn't trust you.Believe me!You talk to her and explain how you feel instead of ending up fighting.She will surely understand and will change slowly. Thanks and keep posting!
@cgicale (137)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
No I don't check my boyfriends mobile. I trust him that much. I'm confident that he wont cheat. He loves me so much. I do check it at times but that's only when he's beside me. Even if I don't check his mobile, it doesn't mean he doesn't check mine. He's got a lot of insecurities and he's afraid I'll leave him. Sometimes I get irritated because of it but I I just let him be and ensure him that I love him so much.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hi Cgicale!He loves you a lot!!!Lucky you!
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
24 Nov 12
I dont sneak and check my guy phone , his phone is always lying on the bed when we are on it and I would play game on it . I never go in the message unless the message come in while I am playing the game and he would say read it and tell me and I would but I dont have to worry about anything our phones are always lying around just as how we were when we were just friend . We both can used each other phone any time
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
THANKS sILVERFOX!
@anne25penn (3310)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
There is such a saying, ignorance is bliss. I don't like to look at the mobile of my hubby because that is his private space. Sometimes when we look at the mobile of our partners, chances are we are trying to prove something out of our suspicions. Just leave each others' phones as is. Treat it like any personal thing you have and keep in mind how would you feel if someone did the same to you.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hey ,I agree, Thanks!
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
i`m doing that.. what`s wrong with it.. if your nothing to hide then you should not be bothered by it.. it`s better to check it once in a while so you are peaceful about it.. but it`s up to you if you trust your partner that much.. for me there`s an issue of dishonesty between my partner so from then on i`m checking it once in a while
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hey Neelia! Thanks!
@Metatronik (5923)
• Pasay, Philippines
24 Nov 12
It is not my attitude to check my boyfriend's mobile phone to spy him if he is doing something else. Of course he already projected to me that he is someone that I should be trusted. And he is the one who really thinks logically of what will be the consequence if he is someone who is making betrayal. Though on the other hand I've already checked his mobile while he is sleeping because his friend which is a guy caught my attention when he sent text messages to my boyfriend's mobile. Well my boyfriend allow me to read his text messages even without his permission so it is alright to him. Then when I've read the text the funny thing was his friend was worrying when he had thing to his girlfriend. . So I was the one who replied something that will make his feeling strange though he didn't know that I was the one who is sending text messages to him. I told my boyfriend about it but he told me I should be careful because there will be a tendency that his friend might ask him something and got mad to him.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Thanks Metatronik!
@redredrose (1107)
• United States
23 Nov 12
No i do not check my hubby's email facebook page cell phone nothing. He does not check mine and we don't even know each other's passwords for our facebook pages and email. I have no reason not to trust my hubby and he has no reason not to trust me. I can't say tho we trust each other 100% because who does trust something that much. Tho i can say i trust him with our money and not cheating so why would i check his cell phone email facebook. Also he trusts me enough not to check mine so i shouldn't check hos for that reason as well. If i had to check anything of his then why would i still be married to him. When we dated i didn't check his email or cellphone back then there was no facebook. If i had felt the need to check it i wouldn't have married him for lack of trust. There has to be trust and space and privacy in a relationship.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
thanks redrose!
23 Nov 12
any relationship between two people is established on trust...everything between relationship should be transparent...investigation or creating doubt on each other will harm ...if they have believe than the content of mobile phone can not reduce their love ..if there is no trust than clean mobile also can not protect the relationship.. trust=believe=love=dependent=relationship
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Thanks Gopal! I welcome for sharing your views!
• Romania
23 Nov 12
I'm a guy but I think that question can be adressed to us, guys, also. No, I didn't check my girlfriend's mobile because I think that a relationship is based on trust. If that thing doesn't exist, I can say that more things don't exist, like love, friendship, communication. And if she cheated on me and I'm fool and I didn't realise, I only say to her: CONGRATS!
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
hi! thanks for the post.
23 Nov 12
I never check my boyfriends phone because I trust him 100%. I know he would never cheat on me and I feel very lucky that I can rest safe in that knowledge!
23 Nov 12
No, I'm not going to do that because I respect him. Just because your husband did that to you, doesn't mean mine will do the same. Not all men are the same. I know for a FACT that he would never do anything like that to me and nothing you say will change my mind. He leaves his phone at home alot and not once have I felt the need to check it. He doesn't act suspicious in anyway. It's all about RESPECT.
@TMac94 (16)
• United States
23 Nov 12
I think you should have enough trust and honesty to trust your partner. If you have so much insecurity, you shouldn't be in a relationship of some kind. I don't think it's right of any sort to check your partner's phone. It just shows that you don't have trust in the both of your relationship. If it does go to that point where you do have to check your partner's phone, consult with them. Be like, "Babe I have this insecurity about our relationship, and want to know why you did this?" or "Why couldn't you alteast talk to me and tell me what's wrong?" Don't go up to your partner and say "Who is this you've been texting?" and "Why haven't you spent your 100% with me on the phone?" It won't solve anything. Just try to look past your insecurities, and try to think of why you've been in this relationship for so long, or however long you've been in a relationship.
@wishjui (271)
• India
24 Nov 12
Hi TMac!Thanks for sharing,but trust or no trust,relationship or no relationship... it depends on individuals..also how they want to treat.Keep posting.