Deleted, Unfriended, Blocked! And for What Reason?

United States
November 24, 2012 9:39am CST
I am never one to discuss politics or religious beliefs. Many have tried to get me into the ring and go a few rounds with them, but I put a cold stop to it before it can even begin. A person that is quite close to me for reasons other than being a friend, has chosen to delete me as her friend and gone one step further to block me as well. Wow. She is a very opinionated person that posted her political views on a daily basis. I kept from commenting on her posts. When the election was held she was very upset over the outcome. She stated that she would block, delete, unfriend, any of her friends that didn't vote the way she did. I still shake my head in disbelief over that statement. Needless to say, it appears she has indeed deleted me from her friend list and mayu have blocked me as well. I had noticed that I no longer saw her posts on Facebook. She was there everyday posting something. She would share pictures with me as well and I was delighted to get them. I needed to contact her to let her know that I will be sending a package to them soon, my search for her came up empty. Sadly, I am a little hurt over her gesture. If not for the fact that she has something that is so precious to me that I would walk over a bed of coals to be in contact with this precious soul. Now I wonder how to approach this sensitive issue. I do have her phone number, unless she has changed that too, or blocked me from having access to it. I will have to think about what I will say to her when and if I reach her. Maybe it would be better if I just sent the package with a Christmas greeting. So in a tailspin over this one. How should I handle this?
6 people like this
16 responses
@much2say (36288)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Geez, I wonder if we have a mutual friend on Facebook. My "friend" also made extreme daily posts on her political views (which by the way, I stayed the h away from any political issues on FB). She was very, very, VERY upset over the outcome of our recent election. I mean, she was fuming like I've never seen her before (at least on Facebook . . . we are friends, but more like acquaintances in real life). So much that she actually posted in her status that she would be deleting friends over any more congratulatory result posts just like you mentioned - and I recall her stating later that she was deleting friends left and right . . . which I thought was really silly. Friends are friends - regardless of "issues" - so I didn't get that. I know you said you have a precious tie to this person, so I hope she would be willing to at least talk to you outside of Facebook. Facebook world can be strange sometimes . . . misunderstandings can easily happen. It doesn't give us the entire picture. I know I've been deleted before - but not because of something that happened to "us" . . . they plain got rid of their account or took a break from it - and some people I will just never know why but those people I wasn't in real contact with anyway. But in your case it sounds like the friendship is more than just an online relationship. Hopefully she would be willing to talk to you, even via email . . . because losing a special friendship over Facebook would be ridiculous and sad. I am thinking something in the lines of "I haven't seen you on Facebook lately, just wondering if you're ok" . . . and by her reaction, I think you will know just where she stands.
4 people like this
• United States
24 Nov 12
There were so many people highly upset over the outcome of the election. But, to threaten to unfriend someone for over politics? That is just juvenile. I am planning on giving her a call today.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (33983)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Nov 12
i to have many, many friends that were happy about the outcome of the election have bragged over and over and been really adament about posting their beliefs before the election and ive just gritted my teeth and let it go, trying not to lose a friend over politics. and hpeing once it was over they would move on to other things. i got to where i liked neither candidate because of the awful seperation in this thing. why cant they be happy and just leave it be now.
4 people like this
@francesca5 (1344)
24 Nov 12
I find politics very interesting, but i only make comments on it on newspaper sites, where arguments are sort of expected. I occasionally do so on mylot, but i tend to keep away from american politics, unless there is something i feel so strongly about i have to comment, as the debate here tends to be too emotional rather than based on reasoned debate. i really do find this very hard to understand, and yet on the other hand i don't. i suppose to her if you disagreed with her politics then you were rejecting her as a person, because the views she holds are so emotional, that she was just overwhelmed by them. my advice would be just to wait a bit, and then see, if you have addressed the package you are sending to the person/people you want to receive it that should be ok, and maybe when they get the present from you she will realise that she is being unreasonable.
3 people like this
• United States
24 Nov 12
The thing is that I never commented on any political post. I chose to stay neutral to the entire thing. My views are my views and I choose to keep them to myself.
2 people like this
24 Nov 12
maybe you were supposed to leave a comment and agree, and neutrality has been interpreted as disagreeing with her, or not supporting. maybe she has deleted everyone who didn't support her, if she was having very emotional arguments. its a very difficult situation, but in the end you are entitled to your own views, that why secret ballots are seen as an essential part of any democracy.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Nov 12
My husband and I disagree on our political views. Therefore we have a rule not to discuss politics.
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 12
Want my honest advice? You are better off WITHOUT her, who needs friends like that? Sorry but life is too short, she sounds to me as someone who HAS to have control, do as I do or ELSE! She isn't a true friend, true friends don't TELL others what to do or they will befriend them, that speaks of immaturity, how old is she? Her behaviour is appalling. At the end of the day it's her LOSS, she has lost a valuable friend in you, maybe one day she might realize, but sad to say these kind of people don't they are full of their own importance and think that friends should do her bidding.
• United States
24 Nov 12
If it were not for the fact that she is connected to a loved one, I would let it roll off me like rain. She has custody of one of my favorites.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (33983)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Nov 12
wolfie said exactly what i was going to say dear. then i noticed you said she has custody over someone. sounds just like my sons gf. she blocked me on FB and unfriended me at the same time even before i ever even said anything wrong about or to her i always have tried not to say anything negative to or about her because she has my grandkids. yet she gets mad at me every time she gets mad at son and now ive not seen them in 8 months so yes now i see her as a shallow nasty person.
• United States
24 Nov 12
I have always been supportive of this woman. Never said anything negative about her. Perhaps she just decided to delete her account.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (92329)
• Marion, Kansas
24 Nov 12
I would just continue to be the steady and even person in this relationship. Politics and religion are neither one so important as to lose relationships over. Maybe she will grow up about this when some time has passed. I know it hurts. Send the Christmas greeting, and the package, and keep an even keep yourself.
3 people like this
• United States
24 Nov 12
I will give it a while before I call her. I will not bring up the subject to her.
2 people like this
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
You can ask her why she deleted you. I'm sure she has her reason. Or maybe she was trying to delete someone else and ended up deleting you. There's a lot of possibility why this happened. As for me, I don't really mind if someone deletes me on Facebook. I can ask them myself. If it was a mistake, I'll just invite them again.
3 people like this
• United States
24 Nov 12
It appears that she either blocked me or deleted her account.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (18013)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
24 Nov 12
"My way or the highway"? How immature.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Nov 12
You said it my friend!
2 people like this
@patgalca (14053)
• Orangeville, Ontario
24 Nov 12
I can't get my sister-in-law to friend me on Facebook yet she is friends with my two daughters. I became friends with my cousin and her niece. I realized recently that they both unfriended me. I have no idea why. It makes no sense to me and is rather insulting. It kind of hurts that my brother's wife won't friend me. What do they think I'm going to do to them? Bombard them with videos and jokes? The whole reason I join these sites is to get my writing seen. Now I am addicted to playing certain games, but I never talk political or religion (specifics). I don't even post my games accomplishments. I know no one wants to see that stuff. I don't know what you can do about this. It's almost the same as a friend from high school, my BEST friend from high school, who no longer (30 years later) wants nothing to do with anyone from high school, even me. We were together constantly, went to California together, wrote together every weekend. She was the best friend I ever had, most supportive in regards to my writing. I have reached out to her recently through her mother's address with birthday and Christmas cards asking her to please get in touch with me, that I miss her. But she just ignores me. It hurts but I may have an idea why which is her issue not mine. Still hurts. Some people I just can't figure out.
2 people like this
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
26 Nov 12
I would personally be the person that would give her the benefit of the doubt. You see, there have been times that it seemed like I was unfriended by a close friend of mine on facebook but the actual explanation has been that I was accidentally unfriended when the person was getting rid of other friends that they had on their friend's list that were deadbeats. As far as the package goes, I do think that it is important that you let her know that she should be expecting a package from you.
1 person likes this
@idowrite72 (2214)
• United States
25 Nov 12
Just because she has deleted you from her life, doesn't mean that you have deleted her from yours. I do understand you feeling hurt, but the gift was bought with her in mind and I would send it anyway and not think of the comments she has made that have you unhappy.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
25 Nov 12
The fact that she has what you refer to as a "precious soul" seems to be the driving issue here. For me it would be easy to walk away from someone that has acted so ridiculously, but the fact that you mentioned her having that soul does change everything. I suppose I would try to contact her and not mention anything about the politics. Politics and religion seem to be the most volatile subjects in the world. I might have issues with holding my tongue if she were to be nasty when I called. Remember that that precious soul has a mind of its own and probably knows how much you care for it.
1 person likes this
@chrystalia (1209)
• Tucson, Arizona
25 Nov 12
Just proves what I have said for years--if you want a riot on your hands, talk about politics, religion or money. Of course, by that logic, I must love all three, because I discuss them all with people here. So far I haven't been blocked or unfriended on Mylot, though it has happened elsewhere-- and worse has happened elsewhere. I am sorry someone who is supposed to be a friend would do this to you-- I know how you feel. I would try calling your friend, and leave a message if they don't answer-- that you think friendship is a little bit more important than how someone voted. And I would still send the gift, with a card stating the same-- if you want this friend in your life. For myself, several people have stopped speaking to me because I insist that an exchange of viewpoints, in an adult and reasonable manner, means both parties get to express their views, and both parties respect each others rights to those views. to me, that's a key component in a friendship or any relationship-- part of respect. Those who chose to unfriend me, here and about and stop speaking to me, obviously didn't respect me the way I respected them-- so, while I didn't block them, I haven't contacted them, and I won't. Life is too short for me to give my time, and my respect, to people who don't return them. But that's my view, and my feelings-- you need to follow your heart and your feelings and do what you feel is right.
@marie2052 (3697)
• United States
25 Nov 12
Hate to say this but I did this to my very best friend. We knew each other for years. I wont go into all of it, but after going out of my way to do things that she asked for and then would get yelled at because it was not right, I was trying to figure out what I always did wrong. if she told me to send her something I did and sometimes she would say she never got it. well the post office never returned it to me either. I started feeling inadequate and not up to her standards of what a friend was. She then started telling me things about her that after years and years she had never told me and it regarded some things we had done and I had no idea but she went out with me anyway and never told me. then I guess the last straw was broken for me when she told me to F*** O**. While I am not telling everything in detail, there are two sides hers and mine. I wish no evil to her or unkindness. I just was so shocked she was not the person I allowed myself to believe she was. yes I miss her. But When I finally let go and let god, I found a peace inside of me. I have even regained some pride back to myself because I had built my relationship around our friendship and allowed a lot to go under the bridge so to speak. So if this continues, you might want to figure out what is best for you, and your pride and priorities. Much love to you and hope you figure it out.
1 person likes this
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
25 Nov 12
Hi Elusive, I will only respond hypothetically because there seems to be a connection between you and her that you have not eleborated on.. But, there are husbands and wives who disagree on who they vote for...How on earth can a friend delete, unfriend or even block you for your choice of presidential representives. Who on earth do she think she is to make that kind of statement to her friends...I am sure you know that its not right, so with that said I would definately not contact her...I would not set myself up for her to hurt me again... I really think you need to re-evaluate that friendship or lack of....
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13394)
• Philippines
24 Nov 12
I am so sorry about that. But, how close were you to your friend? Coz if she is truly your friend, she would never do such a thing over a lost candidate, right? I mean, people have different opinions on different things. So, why would she have a violent reaction if a person she knows doesn't go along her views? I say, if she is truly a friend, she must have been just carried away by the situation and her reasons have been clouded. I think a good gesture of ending her a package would be great. However, if that person is someone whom you just know, well, just shrug it off.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
24 Nov 12
Why would you send a package to someone who obviously doesn't want anything to do with you...if she deleted and blocked you? I would take a hint and let it go altogether until she contacts you....A one sided friendship isn't worth the postage.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (30611)
• Momence, Illinois
13 Dec 15
Wow that is way overboard. She is entitled to vote the way she wants, but won't be friends with those who vote another way. I'm sorry I am an election judge and for me that is just wrong. I'm sorry I understand she is a dear friend, but how much of a friend is she really when she ceases all contact because of the way you voted.