When to say "I love you"

United States
November 24, 2012 9:37pm CST
I am rarely the one to risk saying "I love you" in a new relationship, but once I have said it, I like to say it again and again! It's very awkward when I say it and it is never returned. And then I want to say it so badly, but I hold myself back for fear that I will scare this person away! How soon is too soon to say "I love you"? Can you say it as soon as you feel it to be true? What if the person doesn't say it back?
12 responses
@Mavic123456 (18887)
• Thailand
25 Nov 12
it's okay just say i love you. yes if you want to say I love you say it. YOu wouldn't know it could be your last time to say i love you or the last time that this person hear I love you. Life is unpredictable.
• Bangladesh
25 Nov 12
Very revolutionary saying is this, '' Life is unpredictable''. It may be the greatest saying of all times. In everyday life we get inflicted with pains and sufferings. But in all our hard times this saying can be the parennial source of inspiration of moving ahead. It will encourage us, motivate us, empower us, consolidate us. It can keep us isolated from sorrow and unhappiness even while being merged into sorrows and unhappiness. Anyway speaking about love, if one sees that the relationship is so fertile enough to produce love for each other then he or she may give his or her final recognition by saying '' I love you.'' Its just like a legal document which we cant refuse.
• United States
25 Nov 12
I would tend to agree...but the last time I said "I love you" it actually created a problem in the relationship (and was also an indicator of a problem). We were together, but not really thinking that it was something serious. However, after a few months, I felt very attached to him and just felt so happy that he was in my life. I kept longing to tell him that I loved him. However, I finally did and he felt bad because he couldn't say it back. He didn't say whether he felt it or not, just that he did care about me but he didn't want to make me think that he could be in a serious relationship right now. After that, I kept wanting to tell him that I loved him, but I knew I should hold back. I also felt angry that he wasn't willing to allow our relationship to be something real, even if we were in a difficult spot. I started thinking that maybe he didn't care about me and I felt embarrassed for becoming so attached to him. Things kinda spiraled after I told him that. I can understand that he was afraid of hurting me. I guess it's a good way to tell what kind of relationship someone is expecting.
@Mavic123456 (18887)
• Thailand
25 Nov 12
maybe he is not really ready and try to assess are you willing to be in a one way relationship. If you are then I see no problem in saying I love you to him, who knows it might strike him, but if you don't like to have a one way relationship why push your luck too hard. If he doesn't one, give yourself a break. say I love you to yourself first.
@kaeirole (669)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
you can say "i love you" anytime you want as long as the feeling is true and you want the other person to know it.. sometimes it matters to us if the other person will say it back..but for me loving someone means expecting nothing in return..
• United States
25 Nov 12
Of course I can love someone and not expect it in return, but that is different than vocalizing it. For some people, if they know they can't say it back, they feel pressured when someone says it to them. In that case, I would continue to show that I love them, but try to refrain from saying it or at least, from over-saying it. I don't want to pressure someone to say it back to me.
@TMac94 (16)
• United States
25 Nov 12
You should say I love you when you feel it. Too soon would be two weeks and you're still learning about each other. You want to say I love you at the right time. If the person doesn't say it back right away, it just takes time for them to digest what you said. Give them time. Patience is the key.
25 Nov 12
Dont depend on when to say i love you.It is not bad thing,it is a good feeling .If you want express feeling means u have to say.If your loving person said back means is is is so sweet to hear.:)
@jaiho2009 (38996)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
It's hard to tell when is the right timing to say the word. In my experience, I say the word soon I feel it because I want to let the person know what I feel. Whether he will acknowledge it or not- that I don't care. I don't feel bad if the person won't acknowledge it- at least I don't have anything to regret. I would rather regret if I haven't said the word when I got the chance to say and lost the person without telling him what I feel.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
25 Nov 12
I'd say when I feel it. It's unfortunate we play games as a society but this are about feelings and we should not act like this, for example there are people that after realizing they are loved them step upon the other or feel in control when we should treasure cause one's love is the biggest present. Just once I said first cause I needed to, it can hurt not be said back but you know what think it's their loss
@gilenie (190)
25 Nov 12
Its so hard to say i love you, its a very sad if u say it then the person would not reply back.It will be hurtful ofcourse on your part.Its a word of commitment, a promise.
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
You can say 'i love you' anytime as long as you share same feeling and it's from your heart.
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
the best time to say I love you is when you really feel and mean it. people tend to abuse the word "I Love You" that it has lost its real meaning...
@jenny1015 (13388)
• Philippines
25 Nov 12
Only you would know which would be the right time to say it. It is really impossible to just set a time frame for it. When you love a person, it will naturally come out from your heart through your lips.
@marty3888 (2359)
• United States
25 Nov 12
I'm with you completely. I love saying "I love you" and if you were my girlfriend, you would get it back every time you said it to me. Me and my girlfriend really are together for life. We bought a house together and we've been together for over eleven years. It took me about a month to say it. At first I would get it back like she really meant it. Now when I say it she says that "love you too" like she's supposed to. but then again, she says it like that when she's talking to her mom too, so maybe I shouldn't complain.
@stealthy (8188)
• United States
25 Nov 12
In my experience it is very difficult to know when you are really in love or at least I thought it was until it really happened to me. I had been in relationships and thought that maybe I was in love but in retrospect after they ended I realized that I had only really liked them but was not in love with them. Then it actually happened and suddenly I just knew I was really and truly in love; I didn't know how I knew, I just was. Although it didn't work out I still believe that it was true love. And yes I told her that I loved her but she didn't say the same to me which is probably one reason it did not work out; she did not feel the same toward me. I have told other girlfriends that I loved them and I did just not as much as in that one case. If you just really know you are in love and that is not easy to know, then you should tell the person and take your chances. But you should never tell someone you love them if you do not really feel it at least so some extent but there are different degrees of love and you may never meet one like I described above. So if you feel that the person is someone you could spend the rest of your life with then go ahead say you love them.