My friend is saying i love you., but im unable to take diecision...

India
November 28, 2012 9:59pm CST
I have a great friend I know her since my child hood, we both grew up in same situation, since my family don't have girl child they treated her very well now we both are graduates, after school days we used meet in holidays she now brought her proposal to me to marry her. Since we grew up as same family I don't have any feelings for her. But my parents supports her forces me. I how to make them understand my feeling. Due to this I am suffering a lot. She is very close to my parents. Her father helped our family in our hard times. Thanking all these i am unable to say no. But thinking about my feature I was Feared. Please give me your valuable suggestions which can help me take a right decision.
3 people like this
25 responses
• Philippines
29 Nov 12
That is a very difficult situation.They say "Get married to someone who loves you, not someone you love".You are very lucky because this girl loves you very much and your family likes her. I think someday you'll learn to love her.
• India
29 Nov 12
What you said is well known. But will it work practically?, don't know, that fears me. Thank you for your suggestion.
@betty1989 (752)
• China
29 Nov 12
you two grew up together. I can understand that you just treat her as your little sister, right? Love cannot bear any lie. If you have no feeling for her in love, just tell her that you two cannot be together or you will regret one day.
• India
29 Nov 12
Actually I didn't treat her like my sister, I know her from my childhood Her views and my views are very different, if tell her this she may or may not understand but my parents may hurt because they are hopeful on our marriage since my school days at that time I don't know what is a Marriage means. But now I came to know. But I fallow first I will her this let me see share what happens thanks Betty..for your valuable suggestion.
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
2 Dec 12
You says you both have grown up together, done your graduation. You are saying you don't have any feeling about her. But have you ever think about her mind and what feeling she is having about you? The way she has send her proposal to you via her parent seem she really loves you and not only this her parent also likes you as their son in law. At present it seem you are in double mind. Have you got the affair with any other girl? Or have you in your mind the type of girl that should be your life partner? When you are sure if you does not accept her proposal your two families relation might get broke down. Considering all these situation you als think about the girl. Think what she would do if you reject her proposal. I suggest you be open to your parent, girl and her parent
@leeandrew (1226)
• Philippines
1 Dec 12
That is indeed a hard situation, but there is still you can do; talk to the girl, tell her how you feel and ask her to give you time to think and re-consider your feeling so that she won't get hurt that much. Talk to your parents as well, explain yourself and what you thought of the girl and the proposal. Don't think that there's no way out co's they have helped your family when you guys needed help. If your family are really real friends with them its just right that they helped you... that's whats friends are for.
• Philippines
1 Dec 12
Dealing with such situation wherein your friend had come out of the friend zone and is asking you if you feel the same way can be a tough time. Such decision is not easy to decide since it can make or break your friendly relationship. If you don’t feel the same way as that of what your friend is feeling, tell your friend honestly about what you feel. Timing is really important in such situation, tell your friend in a way that it won’t worsen things out. And better explain about it in a matter that your friend won’t get offended on the decision you are about to tell.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
29 Nov 12
Sound like your stock between a rock and a hard place . He feelings will hurt if you rejected her now but its best for both of you in the long run , it make little sense to marry someone you dont love because you will hurt her worse in the future . You deserved to fall in love and if its not with her you have to really talk to her alone .
@stanley777 (7178)
• Philippines
29 Nov 12
If two people fall in love, it's supposed to be mutual. I think you should never marry her if you don't love her truly, since both of you would be miserable if that ever happened. You should just go straight up to her and tell her how you truly feel. She also deserves someone who does love her to be with her. Good luck...
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
29 Nov 12
Of course not! It is supposed to be made with love, you should never marry someone for any other reason. If your parents or hers don't respect you you shouldn't listen to them at once, get some distance, in no way do what you don't want, you'll be harming her.
• Philippines
29 Nov 12
Follow your heart... If you really have no feelings for her then explain it to your family and to her. Let them understand you that you can't marry her for she is almost your sister and you don't want to hurt her feelings through lying and pretending. Just make it clear to them... You will surely be fine. Happy mylotting!
@celticeagle (121039)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Nov 12
Life is short and you may not have another proposal like this one. She sounds like a good person and from good stock. I would probably lean more toward marrying her than not. Reason being there are alot of women in this world who are as good as she is. She has alot going for her.
@beenice2 (2482)
• Canada
29 Nov 12
You often marry your best friend. Do you share just about everything with her,do you view her as a good confident, a person that you can count on, one that you could wake up every morning to, when you love someone ( real love) is first not attached to "intercours",like some think, it come naturaly once you are married,the main thing is that you are real good friend and that you If you are getting along well, your parents want you to be happy I hope, but they should'nt push it on you like that you are young,I mean I got married at 28 so,In other country it might work differently . It is something that you can't take lightly "to get married". Good luck to make yourself understood by your parents and I hope that no matter the decision you are going to take that you stay in good term with your parents.
@suzzy3 (8357)
29 Nov 12
You must not be talked into anything.Explain to your friend and your family.You only think of her as a good sister and it would feel unatural to have loving feelings towards her.See if you could move away from home and have your own life.If you don't love someone don't marry them it is a real recipe for disaster.
• Philippines
29 Nov 12
Sometimes, we faced a really tough situation in a life that we are totally confuse on to what decisions we should make. It's either that we hurt others because of the decision that we'll make or we'll find ourselves victim of that decision making. I can't also advice you that getting tied up with this girl might cause you problem. We really don't know what the future holds. The best thing you can do for now is talk to your parents about it and tell them the whole thread of the story. Maybe, it can help you perhaps in terms of relief, for the meantime. Lastly, if you're totally not sure of this girl, might as well tell her the whole truth and get yourself out from that abyss... before things get a little worst.
• United States
29 Nov 12
Your future is yours to decide, not your family's choice or anyone else's. Any help the other family gave your family in hard times was greatly appreciated, I'm sure, but is not something to cause you to set aside your truest feelings about how you wish to conduct your own life. If you do not wish to marry her, then do not marry her. Keep it simple and you will have no regrets. There is someone special out there that you will recognize when the time is right. Likewise, there is also someone special out there for your friend. Clearly, you are not that one for her, nor her for you, or you would feel differently. Best wishes. :-)
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
29 Nov 12
Getting married to someone you don't love is a recipe for disaster, how can either of you be happy, if you don't love her and of course she will know that you don't love her, how can that equate to true happiness? Life is too short and to spend it with someone you don't love is a waste, of course you have feelings for her but not in that way, maybe if you and your great friend got together and talked about how you felt about each other? And be honest and truthful.
• United States
29 Nov 12
I am feeling so sad for you! My opinion is follow your hearth that is easy for me to say cause I live in a different country I would never marry when I don't love But in your case it is so hard I can understand that! It is so terrible that it is still like that Does the woman know that you don't love her? When not I suggest talk with her alone tell her in a very nice way that your feeling for her is not more then to be friends and that you like her I mean who wants to married with a man that don't loves her. Maybe she will back of That's the way I would try it good luck
@r0nnieb0i (121)
• India
29 Nov 12
No one can be a better judge than you my dear friend. You know what is best for you and what is best for her. You might want to consider the pros and cons of being with this friend of yours. I say it's too early to get into a serious relationship, you might want to explain that to her and if she still insists on being with you and wouldn't take no for an answer, you can ask her to take things slow and see how it would work out in the future, but for now, you might want to stay friends. I don't know if whatever I am saying, is making sense or not. How about you just sit with her and tell her about how you feel and give her reasons on why you don't want to be in a relationship with her. She'll understand. All the best!
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
29 Nov 12
I knew someone married the family friend , he got no love to her but along the way after few months of marrying , he learns to love her wife and now she truly love her wife without any doubts. Who knows this will happen also to you. Think hundred times then ask your God's guidance ans signs if you'll end up marrying her or not . Good luck ! God be with your decision.
29 Nov 12
It is better to do what needs to be done now or live a life full of regrets. Only you can help yourself. Pray for guidance and enlightenment.
@pomwango (1355)
• Kenya
29 Nov 12
remember marriage is a life long commitment,dont submit to the pressure and agree to such a marriage, you will end up resenting yourself, your parents and her too,alternatively have you tried going out with her and getting to know another side of her?