A woman's duty...
By Lucy Leyshon
@RaineLockheart (219)
November 29, 2012 12:37pm CST
I have heard so many times from many different people, both men and women, that a woman's main goal in life should be to have children and raise a family.
But I don't WANT children! Just because I have the right 'parts', doesn't mean I have to use them for childbirth surely? I just don't have that maternal thing going on I guess.
Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike children. I just can't stand the noise they make...lol.
People say to me 'Oh, you're only young. You'll have kids eventually.'...But I won't! Because, quite simply, I have no desire to reproduce. Almost everyone I know from school has had at least one child and I really don't envy them whatsoever.
This doesn't mean I'm a horrible person or mean to children! I just really don't want to be a mother.
By the way, this is in no way a slight on those of you that DO have children! I'm pleased for you and wish you and your kids a lifetime of happiness!
12 people like this
48 responses
@ElicBxn (63235)
• United States
30 Nov 12
Hun, I'm TOTALLY there!
In fact, I can no longer HAVE children and I'm so happy with my choice! Sure, I'll never had a daughter to change my light bulbs like I did for my mom, on the other hand, I've changed ZERO diapers!
I'm not real fond of children, I applaud those who have them and are doing a good job or raising them... I wish the rest had been spayed first!
2 people like this
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
29 Nov 12
If you don't want children, don't have them. Don't let others pressure you into reproducing.
I want children, but I don't want to reproduce. I intend to adopt children. There are thousands in the U.S. who need good loving families, and I would rather provide a good home to a child who is already here in this world. I don't get the people who feel that everyone "should" give birth to children, and I definitely don't get the people who spend vast amounts of money to try to biologically reproduce instead of adopting. If one truly wants a child, what difference does it make if the child shares your genes? A parent is the person who is there for the child; giving birth or contributing some genetic material does not necessarily make one a Mommy or Daddy.
2 people like this
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
29 Nov 12
Well the having the family (kids) was right. BUt when i was married I always worked and brought more money home than my husband did.
2 people like this
@Bluebell18 (636)
• United States
29 Nov 12
A lot of women put child bearing on the back burner these days due to their lifestyle and career. Years later down the line, some, not all, regret that they made that decision. Me personally, I want children, but I'm totally afraid of what kind of mother I'd be towards them. I've been told that I'm no-nonsense and I'd be a good mother. It's different strokes for different folks, Raine. Follow your heart. If you won't reproduce, then that's your decision. Only you can make it.
2 people like this
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
29 Nov 12
With that said, hopefully you live in a free nation where you can do as you want, and also have the resources to be responsible..
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
29 Nov 12
It is a shame to hear this, it's an old-fashioned viewpoint, we are in the 21st century and there are plenty of women who want a career, not children, not raising the family and they should be respected for that. Not every woman wants children does that make her an outcast, frowned upon by her friends and family? Just because you are woman doesn't mean you automatically want children and a family. Women have choices, they have every right to not want a family, not be pressured to have one because 'it's a woman's duty'
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
29 Nov 12
So get your tubes tied. lol Or not, because the doctors might tell you the same thing those people are always telling you, "You're young, you'll change your mind." Well, maybe you will. But there's also a good chance you won't. It's up to you.
I think your main goal in life is your own. My goal isn't the same as yours. In fact, I would LOVE to have kids and be a mother. I can't imagine life without that, but I'm different than you. If you have no desire to reproduce, then don't. Simple as that. Other people may bother you with strange and ignorant comments, but ultimately they can't make you have kids. Well... I hope they can't. 
So find yourself another main goal in life and when people ask you when you're having kids, go ahead and tell them what your alternative plan is. 
So find yourself another main goal in life and when people ask you when you're having kids, go ahead and tell them what your alternative plan is. 2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
29 Nov 12
I understand your feeling and I salute you for being honest and true to yourself.
I admire women who knows what they really want and like in this life.
Rather than having kid/s and neglect them after.
I would rather recommend your idea than having an abused child.
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
29 Nov 12
Just because you are a woman does not mean that you will want children or should even have children. If you want children then fine, have them. There is nothing worse than bringing children into the world, especially if they are not wanted. Some women, and I know a few that would rather remain childless. Children are one of the biggest responsibilities anyone can take on. Live and let live, right?
2 people like this
@41CombedaleRoad (5952)
• Greece
30 Nov 12
It is up to you what you do with your body but if you get married you will need to find a man who does not want to raise a family either. Being a woman does not mean that you have to have children, at least not any more, and if you don't feel naturally maternal then it would be unfair to yourself and to any child you might have if you went ahead and had one.
Having children is not necessarily a woman main goal in life, we can have several goals which is healthier than expecting a family to fulfil your ambitions for you. A good career and some way of serving the community is a totally satisfying way of life. You will probably become someone's favourite aunt!
1 person likes this
@ofzhernandez (278)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
@Raine, you do have a partner eventually, so that only means that you both just don't want commitments. You just want to have a free spirit. And yearning to just be happy all your life and don't want to risk in a real relationship. I just thought at first that you had the calling of God to be a single blessedness but I was wrong. :( Well, I still don't want to blame you both it's your choice anyway and it's your life. I just hope that you will not get an unwanted pregnancies and think of aborting it. I think it's so cruel.
1 person likes this
@RaineLockheart (219)
•
30 Nov 12
I have a partner that doesn't want children. He already had 3 sons with his ex wife and he is also alot older than me. So even though he could still have children, he just doesn't want anymore...Thankfully!
@spicymary (558)
• Romania
29 Nov 12
It's not a women duty to have children, like it's not a man duty to reproduce also. It's a decision, you take it if you feel prepared and have this desire.
But I also see a point in what you said people say about women. If you decide, as a women, to have children, you have some more responsabilities that the man does. At least to take care of yourself while pregnancy, to born a healthy child. And to dedicate more time to the child at least in the first years of life. I don't agree that you should give birth only if you are sure you will be the perfect mother (like some say), there are a lot of factors that are connected to the evolution of a child into a man, and perfect parents don't assure anything.
2 people like this
@Elenakat13 (425)
• United States
29 Nov 12
I agree with you on that even that I have six daughters lol
You are responsible your whole life so you have to make that choice
We are passed that time where woman had to clean the house and give birth
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
I can perfectly understand you. I also have a friend who thinks the same as you do and I never thought of her as being a bad person. It is her choice. It is your choice. Nothing wrong with that.
Not all women do have the same goals in life.
Not all women do have the same goals in life.1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
30 Nov 12
I don't want kids either, dear. But if you love me like I love you, you'll want our love to last forever; and the only way we can do that is if we continue our bloodlines and pass our ways on to them while we can.
While we are raising them, we don't think about the pains we must go through. Rather we think of our love for our Creator, as shown through our love for each other & for our children.
... That's what I imagine your future-husband would say 
1 person likes this
@ofzhernandez (278)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
I think for me I don't believe that you do not what any child in your life. What I want you to clarify is that God created us on purpose. People has it's own destiny on what path we have to take. There are people that are born to reproduce or to be married. There are people that are born being single blessedness, and those people are destined to live their life's without planing to have a baby of their own but they still know how to care for children. And lastly, people who have a calling of being in the priesthood/nuns, wherein those people will serve God. They be tied to be of service for preaching the good news.
I think on your case you just want to live your life being single blessedness but I believe that you didn't mean not to care anymore for those children around you.
Therefore, whatever path may God lead you I know that was destined for you. And that will make you happy ^_^
@GilMegans (241)
• Philippines
30 Nov 12
Hi RaineLockkheart, I respect you opinion relative to such issue that's because of your age today reason that you are not ready for any responsibility attach of being a mother. But sooner or later, you will realized how happy to live with a family, a loving and responsible husband whom cared you a lot, and a child that gives you inspiration and reason to live in this world. We cannot hold our fate, whether we like it or not if we don't die we got married or have a family, and when that time comes to your life, you can actually see the greatness and happiness of having a family. I know that and you would know it also soon...
1 person likes this
@meraikavita17 (3)
• India
30 Nov 12
Its your life n its up to you how u want to leave your life but becoming a mother is a great experience beside that it changes your life n u get more responsibility n you n u become more polite, gentle, calm n understanding.
1 person likes this
