Age differences in relationships

Romania
December 2, 2012 4:36pm CST
Do you consider that relationships with big age difference between the partners have smaller chances to work out? Do you find that romantic or sick? What is the limit you would never cross? And why? Do you think that if the partner is older, for example, he/she will probably die earlier and you will be alone? Or do you consider that different generations have different ways to see life, and there will be a lot more incompatibilities? Personally, I find those kind of relationships really romantic. I usually had older partners (it wasn't, still, such a big difference) and I started to notice that they already get bored about the things I enjoy, that they didn't had so much energy to do all that I want and that they had the tendency to paternal affection. It's not something that bothered me or that I couldn't go through. I just wonder, is it connected strictly with the age, or maybe is just a pattern in my romantic choosing. So... what's your opinion and what experiences would you like to share about? :)
1 person likes this
23 responses
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
2 Dec 12
I think some people cannot adjust to time and that would be the problem with a huge age gap . I dont think it will be a issue if they love each other and accept the difference, it would not be my first choice but we are all different and love come in many forms . I do believe if they both die naturally the older one is likely to go first and the other one will be alone for maybe a long time and lonely . I dont find those relationship necessary romantic because I much rather the couple being the same age and experience life together and maybe die together but as I said before that is just me and others have different views and love doesn't ask why!? .
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
i agree but age difference is not an issue at all. I'm married to my wife and she was 11 years younger than me but because she was a mature person and can adjust to my mood and feelings, we can work together as partner. I don't believe in age gap what i believe is maturity gap!
• United States
3 Dec 12
Yes being mature play a role , I am just starting to maybe get mature but my partner is the same so you are right thats it , you just have to be on the same level of maturity . Love is a wonderful thing and as long as both person are legal age are both under age it will blossom beautifully .
• United States
3 Dec 12
I am 43 and my man is 46 and I would not have it any other way. I would not date or marry a man so far away from my age. I want to grow old with my man not after him. when he is getting to old to walk I want to be right along with him growing old together. when he talks about how things were growing up I want to understand because I lived it not heard about it.
1 person likes this
@pomwango (1355)
• Kenya
3 Dec 12
this is so true,i also cant imajine a scenario where my husband is having grey hair and i walking with him look like his daughter,its good to have a small age gap so that you go through the same experiences and when talking you are on the same page.
• St. Peters, Missouri
2 Dec 12
I think it's connected with age. I don't think it shows up as much, if at all, while dating. It's one of those things that tends to show up when you're yourself - like when you're living in the same house as someone everyday. When I was dating my now ex-husband, I didn't see any issues. Of course we were only together a few hours at a time. He's 19 years older than me. But when we married, things immediately started to surface. He grew up in the 50s and 60s when it was a woman's job to take care of the house. He naturally expected that I would do all inside housework and that he would not be involved in the day-to-day care of our daughter. That was all my job. I worked full-time as well. His job was to take care of all family finances and be the family decision-maker. I grew up with very different beliefs. I felt we should share all equally at all times. By the time we divorced, I was just 40, he was almost 60 years old. He took a nap every evening and was ready for bed by 9PM every night. I was just starting my night. I'm sure it's possible for these things to work, but it's a really tough road and there are many obstacles in your path before you even start.
1 person likes this
• Romania
2 Dec 12
Yes, I was thinking at this kind of differences. And of course, things can be even more complicated if the two are raised in times with opposite mentalities. Still, I see the point of pretending that the women do all the house work if she doesn't have a job, but if she also provides for the family this is a nonsense in my opinion...
@bhelle76 (354)
• Canada
5 Dec 12
Age doesn't matter my friend when it comes to love. If you feel the magic of love you don't see it nor can think of anything. I am married to my husband and he is 10 years older than me. I did not even think the possibilities of anything that comes up if our relationship will work out however, each one of us should know how to get along and settle the differences.
1 person likes this
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
4 Dec 12
As long as a man isn't 40 years old marrying a 13 year old. In other words, BOTH people need to be adults and fully aware and mature enough to know what they are getting in with their relationship. So, they both need to be at least 18 years old or whatever the age consent is in their own country, as long as it is fair to women. I have known couples where the wife is older than the man - in one marriage, the wife is 18 years older than her husband. But, that works for that couple. He is a mature young man who is able to support her and she needed her support when she was going through a difficult time. So, it all depends on the couple and how much each person is willing to understand the age difference.
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
for me why would a person consider age difference if they are compatible and if things are working well for them now? maybe they would even forget that one is very much older that the other. there are advantages and disadvantages though, but love knows no boundaries. if they are so much in love they won't even think of who is going to die first..they just enjoy being together.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39013)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
For me I like older guy because I think older men are more passionate and caring. I love someone who is 20 years older than me and I don't mind the age- but what matters to me is the feeling. I love him and I like the way he cares for me- thu sometimes he's not so caring- but I know he loves me more than I ever know.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
Well, I believe in the saying "age doesn't matter" in love. I've known people who live happily despite age difference. I guess it still depends on the personality of each partner. As long as each is willing to accept his/her partner's flaws, there is no reason to doubt the success of the relationship. Even if you have a partner of your age but all you know is to blame each other's differences, you will not be happy. Relationship is about acceptance and respect. If you don't have both, you will fail.
1 person likes this
@pomwango (1355)
• Kenya
3 Dec 12
i think age difference matters alot.many times you will have difference in opinions or else have your partner treat you like a child or you looking at them as you would your parents.i had a friend of mine who got married to a man almost ten years older than her.he kept reprimanding her like a child,never thought she could make any serious decisions, he even took to choosing her clothes and wanted to control everything done in the home after two years the marriage broke down .i think a maximum five year difference is enough.
1 person likes this
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
3 Dec 12
I do not believe this as there are many couples in this world who are leading the happy married life and they are still in good relationship with other even after they are having the age differences. In most of the cases it is man who is elderly then women and vice verse. What I feel it is the faith and confidence that makes them to stay together and keep their relationship going stronger. To tell you frankly between me and my husband there is a age difference of 6 years but we never complain and with the grace of god our relationship for last 20 years is still same as it was when we got married
1 person likes this
@dee777 (1418)
• South Africa
3 Dec 12
The younger woman's needs are security; and lots of romance. The older man has most probably build up some security and wealth for himself (house, etc.), his needs is to be admired and enjoy intimacy. So, I think when those two entities gets together, there can be firework. The woman feels secure and he is admired... I'm just not sure sure how long it can last. The older person will get tired more and will need in-between breaks of any activity. He might not want to drive anymore; visit public places... Heaven forbid that they have children... more responsibility will fall on her shoulders and the possibility will be there of her being a young widow with young children to raise...
@lsjapdoit (652)
• Indonesia
3 Dec 12
It may be true in general relationships with big age difference between the partners do not last long. What I see from my friends' experience there are two main factors, namely health and way of thinking. The older partner lacks the stamina and energy to do physical activities the younger partner does. The way of thinking of the older partner can be too conservative for the younger one to accept. Those two factors are, however, no problems for partners with good mutual understanding and acceptance of each other. After all a relationship is about give and take. The ultimate factor that makes a relationship last is of course love. If the partners love each other so much, I guess age difference is not an obstacle anymore.
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
there is nothing impossible in love as long as you love your partner regardless of the age gap you will conquer any differences that both of you encounter.. personally a ten year gap is fine but i will prefer my age because both of us will enjoy or understand the things in our environment..
1 person likes this
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
I think there will be differences in some ways. However, if one is mature then he or she is going to understand the younger one. There will be lot of disadvantages but if they do really love each other, I think they can make it and their love will last. Have a nice day! God Bless
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
For as long as it is true love, then love knows no boundaries. People need to be emotionally mature to be able to handle such relationships. Wanting to get hold of wealth and power by getting involved with someone who might be like Donald Trump would never work. Love should me a mutual feeling of two persons and not just wanting to use one another. I know some couples who has more than 10 years age difference, and yet they have managed to have a healthy relationship. Some 24 year old females clinging on 60 year old male might be, well, just wanting to have fun and all.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Dec 12
Some say that age is nothing but a number. I find a lot of maturity within age to be somewhat two fold. It depends on the relationship as well as the strength as to how a couple can handle age differences within each other. I knew a very good friend of mine that is my age but the father of her two children were in their 50's. I won't personally date anyone five years or more in a relationship. Maybe six. People on the outside of your relationship, let's just say family, will have major objectives towards the age gap. In some relationships that I've read about, a lot of 'strenuous' activity will take a lot out of you and cause strain in the heart, lungs, etc. (For those that aren't deemed healthy) It's just odd, but whatever floats people's boats.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Dec 12
Age is not an issue in relationships. My husband is only 5 years older than me and still we have our indifferences. Indifferences is not about the age, it is about the differences of everyones' personality. I know a woman who married a man that their age gap is 21 years. She's happy and contented with her life and they have two good-looking kids. Her husband loves the outdoor and so she learned how to love outdoor too. They are both now adventurous. So the age doesn't really matter. What matter is what we are feeling...
1 person likes this
@rabez69 (21)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
I dont think that age matters in a relationship, as long the two of you loves each other. For me its really a challenging experience, i had a girlfriend 11 years younger than me and were doing good up to now. Theres a lot o of incompatibilities but yet we still manage to cope it up so the romance still lights up..
• Nigeria
3 Dec 12
Rabez69 is it about you managing the incompatibities in relationship or you trying to make yourselves compatible to each other? I had once had a relationship with a girl much more younger than me and I discovered this incompatibility problem btw us. What I've discovered about younger ladies in relationship is that then tend to be lausy and disrectpectful. They tell a lot of lies and to compound issues for you, if they everv get admission to the university they know for sure that you've lost them.
@al1979ex (125)
• Philippines
4 Dec 12
yes it has smaller chance to work out, but it is not sick entirely. number one is the maturity or culture of one's life of his upbringing. they will not match and end up incompatible. There would be less romance because the older one has the old perception of romance while the younger thinks differently. and consider the future...what will you look like in the future?
@cobalt20 (1321)
• Philippines
3 Dec 12
There is no problem between the age gap. Age does not matter as long as you love each other. I have an ex-girlfield who is 1-year older than me. Well, its still normal for me. So, relationships and love are really important.