How can I tell her, she's not gonna get her job back...

Philippines
December 4, 2012 11:45pm CST
A previous employee from my previous company reached out to me asking for help to get her job back. Apparently, even if Im no longer connected with the company, my husband is the newly-hired boss in their department. So, she's hoping that I could bridge the gap and get my husband to accept her back. However, her case is somewhat complicated. She used to be the top performer in their team but she left the job thru immediate resignation for a supposed job abroad. Besides that, she also has attendance issues, and had an integrity issue that she wasn't able to clean up because she was no longer in the company. I told my husband about her but I know that he can't make a decision about it all on his own. He needs to consult the higher ups and HR department, those who knows her record and can make a sound judgement over her re-application. She tried to get updates from me again, but I simply told her it'd be up to HR and the bigger bosses to decide. I know the executives wouldn't accept her back, because of the many problems she's caused the company before, despite her excellent performance. She will just be additional headache, more than the help she can bring to the team. But, its not for me to tell.. so I just told her to try going through the normal hiring process and take it from there.
6 people like this
20 responses
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
5 Dec 12
Hi.. You did well... I mean, you did the right thing. Yes, she must go through the regular procedure of recruitment... It doesn't matter if you can do something with your husband's help or not... Everyone has to go through the regular process. Re-hire is a seperate process here. They check the ex employee's 'file' before accepting the employee. If there was an integrity issue on her record, then the chances are indeed very bad. Most of the companies have no tolerance for Integrity issues. My Advice: Tell your friend to try other companies too...
2 people like this
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
That's what I thought. I actually told her, that even managers who left the company and wants to work there again, must go through the whole hiring process over again. There is no special treatment. And, she did take my advice.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
5 Dec 12
That was good... I am glad she accepted and agreed.. That avoided further strains in your friendship.. Looking at the record of her, the one that you mentioned, I'd say again that she does not have a good chance... So being a good pal that you are, you can proactively search for similar jobs in other companies for your friend... That way, she'll have other opportunity if she is rejected... Take care... :-)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Nah..I don't think I'm willing to even go that far with helping her.
1 person likes this
@valerievy (162)
• Guam
5 Dec 12
You told her the right thing. It's true that it would have to be up to higher management. And advising her to go through the normal hiring process also keeps her from becoming less of a friend to you as you'll have no involvement in whatever the final decision is. It also sounds like if you'd asked your husband to show her favor, it would have made higher management and other employees in that company question his integrity as well for favoring someone who has a bit of a bad record. It might turn out that he's making a more personal rather than professional decision.
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
That's right. I also don't want to jeopardize my husband's integrity at work. And, well, he doesn't really need her addition that desperately.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (20820)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
i used to be a secretary and i would always squirm when his wife calls, who used to be my boss. thankfully, i've never been in such situations. when people ask me for leads, i tell them the usual facts, but don't tell them, "sure, just mention my name." i also don't tell the people i know that "hey, watch out for this person." i prefer there to be no expectations or pressure on both parties. you're no longer connected with the company so the most you can do is tell them to go through HR like everyone else and make it on their own merits. if she got in through "connections" it will boost her ego even more that she's "really special" and most likely create even more havoc once she's back. i'm sure all of the executives are not that dumb. that's why it's still better to have a mix of employees. an excellent but also reliable employee is pretty rare. it's still good to have people who may be average but with integrity and always dependable and can be mentored to improve even more.
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Your principle is good. Most of the people I know would preempt other people's perception and expectations of their colleagues. And, i think, its more trouble than help.
• Philippines
9 Dec 12
because i don't want to be in that position myself where your "reputation" precedes you but all the time you are walking on eggs not to disappoint the one who "glowingly" recommended you and the company that "believed and gambled" on you. what if it's compromising my health, security, or integrity? to me it boils down to fairness. i will let you know of opportunities, but i will let you and the employer do the rest independently and be responsible for the results.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
That's right.
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
That's really so hard to tell... Since I know that you are torn between telling her the truth and not wanting to hurt her feelings. If you like to tell her the truth then tell it to her subtly. She is your friend and you know her better and you have an idea what is she going to feel after she knows the truth from you. If you choose to not tell her the truth so you won't see her getting hurt then let her wait for the decision of the big bosses. She doesn't know that you know what will happen to her so let it be that way. The truth always comes out but hurting someone will hurt our feelings too.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Let her go through the right process and wait for the right person to break the news.
• United States
5 Dec 12
YOu should not have had to tell her this. she should have known this all on her own.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Yeah, but she's probably just hoping that someone she knows can help her. Oh well, she still has to go thru the whole hiring process like anyone else.
• United States
5 Dec 12
I understand that is a complicated situation to be in. I think you were wise by how you handled the situation. There is only so much you can do. You were being a good friend by at least trying. It's definitely hard mixing business and friendships. I wouldn't stress over it because you did your part.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Right. If she continues to bug me, ill just ignore her.
5 Dec 12
You might as well tell her directly, the longer you hide it from her the more she'll expect to be hired and get excited and if she doesn't get accepted by the company she may be put off from asking you for help/advice in the future which may result to a broken friendship, it won't be easy but at least you're doing it for her own benefit.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Well, it's not for me to tell her what the company decides about her application. So, ill keep my silence and she'd rather just hear it from the right people.
• United States
5 Dec 12
It's not going to be easy telling her, but you totally need to tell her, otherwise it's going to be harder the longer you wait.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
No, I don't think it's for me to tell her. Afterall, I'm no longer part of the company and I don't want to preempt management's decision about it. I also don't want her to quote me on anything regarding her issue, because it might boomerang back to my husband.
1 person likes this
@devonavis (1857)
• Greece
5 Dec 12
You are doing the right thing. She has still to undergo the normal hiring process so that all of applicants will be given an equal chance. If on the process, stands out then she will be hired, right? Or if not, she can try to apply in some other company anyway its her fault why she was not longer in the company.
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
With the feedback I heard from my husband, it seems that she had better find another company that will accept her.
@dee777 (1418)
• South Africa
5 Dec 12
I think it's very unprofessional of this woman to put you in such a difficult situation. You will have to tell her that it is awkward for you but that you have send her request through. You must underline that that there's nothing more you can do. You need to draw the line...
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
Now that you said that, I think she is being really unprofessional, pestering the boss' wife. She probably thinks I can charm my husband to taking her back. She was a casual friend at work, too, but, as previously part of management, I also know when an employee can be an asset or liability to the company. I just told her, I'd relay her message but I can only do so much.
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
Just tell her frankly that she better look for other work elsewhere since the company is not hiring anyone at the moment. I think she will get the message from here.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
I think she's slowly getting the message the longer we talk about it, that it won't be an easy rehire for her. And, she has to look at other options. It's just that I don't want the message to come from me, because they might change their minds and take her, instead. So, I want to play it neutral, until they've made it final.
1 person likes this
@puccagirl (7316)
• Israel
5 Dec 12
It definitely sounds like you did the right thing here, it is what you should do, and it is probably the best way for her as well. Maybe she actually needs to hear about some of these things? It could help her in the long run, after all.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
I think I wasn't the right person to tell her the good or bad news. So, she just has to go through the right process and no special fixings for her.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
i think you should maintain your stand. You're not connected in the company,your husband does. However, he isn't one of the powers who will decide her fate. That applies to you too. tell her that she should also consider other opportunities in otehr companies and stop putting all the eggs on one basket. If she is really good, she might get the same position on another company (because she was a great performer). Whatever mess she left at the company is her fault and she isn't helping matters when she tries to get back the position she once had without the proper process. This will reflect on her badly and people may feel she was an exception rather than the rule in terms of hiring people. .
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
That's right. My husband isn't that desperate to take her, anyway, because the team is doing well even without her on board. So, I think it's really a gray area for her, unless, the higher bosses would want her back.
1 person likes this
@betty1989 (752)
• China
5 Dec 12
you are doing right, It is wise to tell her that she should go through normal hiring process and let the HR decide withether to hire her or not. You donot want to tell her directly that she cannot get her job again as she has many problems, as attendance issues and others. It will hurt her feeling if you tell her directly. you are hard to make choice since she used to your collegue and now your husband is the newly-hire boss. You have mixed feeling about this, right? Never mind. She will understand you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Dec 12
I also know about her infamous record at work. I once was her manager, too. And, she was indeed a pain when it comes to attendance. She relies a lot on her strong sales performance thinking it will save her from the rest of her notorious behavior.
1 person likes this
@askila (1)
5 Dec 12
i think tell to her in the straight words that she can not get job but also tell to her the reason but need to also that want help of her but you can not help her.And if you can help her to finding job so tell her.
1 person likes this
@mariaperalta (19097)
• Mexico
5 Dec 12
Best to just come out and tell her the truth.
1 person likes this
@ram_cv (16516)
• India
7 Dec 12
I think you did a fair job as long as you have forwarded her case to the company. After that it is the company's perspective and not yours. So you can make it clear to her. If she had a past that is going to cost her the job, then she is the one who is to blame for it and not you. So you can simply tell her that now it will be the HR who have to take the call. Cheers! Ram
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Yeah, the management already knows of her intent to reapply but sad thing, they are not willing to take her back. I just hope the right people gives her the news soon, so she would stop bugging me.
@Kbrannon (33)
• United States
5 Dec 12
That is a difficult situation. I believe she should not ask you to help her get her job back in the first place. Yes you may know her well and your husband may be the new boss, but she has to go through the same process as anyone else. I am sure she knows that she has done things that were not professional or suitable in HR's eyes and she obviously feels like your husband is her last hope, but at this point she will need to search for another job and just let that one go. You should not be put in the middle of this awkward situation.
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
I guess she was really thinking that she is very valued by the company, thus, expecting special treatment.
@TLilly12 (1230)
• United States
16 Mar 13
There is nothing you can do for her, if she has attendance issue, they are not going to hire her back, the company will look at her record, and see everything she has done wrong, and tell her she is not a rehire, I don't understand people like this they have a job, then they screw it up, and after they get fired, then they want some one to talk up for them, to help get their job back, if she did her job like she was suppose to,when she had the job, there wouldn't be any problems.
@Hatley (152184)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Dec 12
hi jureathome you really have done all you can do and she is pressuring you too much as she has to remember all that happened before in the company. I think you did all you could do by telling her to try going through the normal hiring process.