I lied because I was scared

@Cutie18f (9564)
Philippines
December 6, 2012 5:04am CST
This morning as I was feeding my dogs, a ragged man with unkempt hair and beard, must be in his 30's came outside the gate. When I looked, I caught his sharp-looking eyes looking at me and he asked for water. I do not want to be judgmental, but believe me, that look on the man's face was enough to warn me to do something to make him go away. He repeated what he said about wanting some water so I lied by saying we didn't have water because it got cut off. He wanted to come nearer the gate but stopped when he saw the dogs. Have you ever done this before? Did you have to lie just to save yourself? I really felt like it would be a bad idea to entertain this stranger who looked scary. What do you think?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 12
I used to have to lie all the time to my ex, my ex could be really aggressive and their moods would swing so rapidly, they were very unpredictable, I lost count the amount of times they would shout and rant at me, so to keep the peace I would tell them a lie, fortunately they were gullible and it saved me from an ear bashing or worse. You were right to lie, you have to protect yourself and the situation could have got quite nasty.
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
9 Dec 12
You had such a terrible ex Wolfie. It's a good thing she's out of your life now. You can be safe and at peace.
• United States
7 Dec 12
I think that you did the right thing because even though he might have not been dangerous he also could have been just as equally dangerous. I think that when you are in situations like that you have to listen to your gut especially since you are a female. It is just a fact that men are stronger then women so letting a stranger into your home would no have been good. If you were male and had let him in and he had bad intentions well than at least the fight would be fair. I have lied plenty of time when I felt that my life could be in jeopardy if I did not get out. I'm sure that if he really only wanted water that someone down the line actually gave him water. This is a bit off topic but situations like this are why dogs make better pets than cats.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
9 Dec 12
Yes, NewYork, it was the sight of my dogs which made him back off.
• China
7 Dec 12
It is kind of a self-protection I think, so you really don't keep it in mind. he just left you a bad manner as a stranger, so we have full reasons to refuse his request. After I read your statement in detail, i really cannot figure out why he gave you a sharp-looking if he really wanted water. If he is a psychopath, it really put in confusion. Normally, if we have a request or want for help, we are sure to behave politely. If i were you, i will also refuse his plea with no hesitation for his sharp-looking eye makes me awful!!
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Yah, it was his sharp-looking eyes that scared me. He did look like a psychopath.
@beamer88 (4268)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I guess I'm fortunate that I haven't been in a situation where I would have to lie to save myself. But if that happens, I'd probably would do something similar to what you have done. I mean, there are times that we have to twist the truth to protect ourselves. I know it's not a laudable act, but I think safety supersedes this
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
It was my fear superseding sympathy at that moment and I think I acted wisely by doing that.
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Oh, that was a scary experience. I guess we should not entertain strangers. I'm glad I'm always in our home. My husband is the one who goes in and out of our house. You did the right thing. You didn't know what's in his mind. I hope he won't go back again.
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
I hope he won't come back again. That would be a real scare if he comes back again.
@vibimi (34)
6 Dec 12
One must find himself in such situations. And fear is a scaring beast too. Sometimes when in panic we can do unbelievable and unwanted things. We are more reasonable after but not in those moments. If your survival instinct advises you to act one way or another, then do it. Don't think twice and have no shame.
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Yes, Vib, I did just that. I am a compassionate person but at that moment it was my fear that ruled.
@devonavis (1857)
• Greece
6 Dec 12
I think you you did the right thing because we never know what he can do to you based from your suspicions. But if you think he really needed water then might as well give him a cup without him enter your gate and bring with you a companion, family member maybe, before giving him the water.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Hi Devo. That would have been the best thing to do but I just didn't do it because he looked insane and he could do anything like grab my hand, etc.
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
6 Dec 12
You have the right to defend yourself no matter what it takes. I know it's not right to judge base on the appearance but you already feel the warning and you just listened to your instinct so in the end it doesn't matter if you were judging because you are just saving your life.
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
Thank you Verna for the assurance. I also thank my dogs for being there at that time.
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
I have always trusted my instincts. And I know that in this particular instance, you were not being judgmental. You simply trusted your instincts, your gut feel. I do not blame you. A lot of crazy and horrible things have been happening lately.
@prashu228 (22864)
• India
6 Dec 12
I agree many things happening around. so we really feel scary about certain things.
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
Yes. I think her actions were justifiable.
• Thailand
9 Dec 12
What if the person really needs water? What if the person has been wandering for days and all he needs is a glass of clean water?
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
9 Dec 12
I think you did the right thing, friend. Your only doing things that best for your safety. That is a precautionary measure to prevent anything...even if that person is not bad as you think. Better to take a measure than sorry.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
Thanks Aerous. I was just doing what I thought was the best way to make him go away.
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
I appreciate your decision, friend. I hope that someday you'll find the best person that you rely on your life.
@shaggin (26813)
• United States
8 Dec 12
If a strange looking man came to my property and asked for water I would be very scared to. I would feel truly bad though if he was homeless and was actually just truly thirsty. I think you probably did the right thing though trying to get him to go away if you felt that he was being creepy. Better safe then sorry.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
24 Dec 12
I just followed my instincts, Shag and I have no regrets.
@prashu228 (22864)
• India
6 Dec 12
Hi cutie, I can understand that because i have done something like this before. we really don't want that but afraid of the man and his appearance can't help it.so don't feel bad. so have everything to save ourselves.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Times are hard these days and oftentimes we do not understand the actions of some people especially those who harm others.
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
6 Dec 12
It's better to trust our instinct than be sorry. It's hard to trust strangers these days. Even small kids are being used by bad elements on this earth. Don't feel guilty, you are just right to think about your safety.
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Thanks for the pat on the back, Jaiho.
@urbandekay (18314)
6 Dec 12
I think you should remember the story of the good Samaritan all the best, urban
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
That story is always on my mind, Urban.
@lady1993 (15571)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
I would've done the same thing, fortunately our gate is quite strong and high.. no one could easily climb through it.. I'd never entertain scary looking men especially if i am alone, we don't even have dogs to protect us.. I think that's what any rational person would do. You can never be too careful these days..
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
24 Dec 12
Trust your instincts. If you didn't feel comfortable around him, then you made the right choose. He can always find another neighbor, perhaps a man, for a glass of water. Yes, you need to protect yourself. You make the right choose. Protecting yourself comes first. Sometimes you can give answers that isn't actually lying - just not quite telling the whole truth. Because it is important not to lie, but protecting yourself is more important. You probably could have said, 'I think it is better to ask another neighbor, my dogs don't really like strangers.' Then, you have made it clear that you don't fully trust him. He should realize that he is best to ask for a glass of water where he is not scaring anyone.
• United States
11 Dec 12
I don'y know how old you are but it's a good idea to be cautious.If you look(to him,anyway)like the kind of person who doesn't pay their bills,he probably wasn't offended.Maybe ask around and maybe you can find out who he really is.