I wasted 6 years of my life with this man.... Do I give him a chance?

@rhodzptc (1319)
Philippines
December 7, 2012 9:02am CST
It was so hard to accept that after all that 6 years we have spent together I just found out from one of my co-employee that he is cheating on me with another girl from his work. The girl has a resemblance to a tv actress who he adore most that is why there is no doubt he cheated on me. They were caught in the act while he give the girl a ride home to her apartment. Though the details is not complete he only thing that is clear to me is that there is no reason for him to give her a ride because he knew for himself that I hated that girl so much because she flirted to every guys she knew. Now he gave me some lame excuses and he keep lying even though I have provided all the evidence. This means he is guilty and now I broke up with him but he keeps bothering me and asking for forgiveness.... He even says he was admitting the mistakes he never did just to fix our relationship. Should I give him a chance or should I move on?
6 people like this
29 responses
@Arieles (2474)
• United States
7 Dec 12
If you can't trust him, then why would you want to give him a second chance? You could, but at what cost? Your emotional health is worth so much more. Maybe he did just drop her off like he said, but you are not trusting what he is saying, and sometimes you just know in your gut when it is time to move on.
• India
7 Dec 12
Hi friend, it is upto you whether you want to give a chance to him or not. This is not a game to give a chance. This is your real life. You can take any decision. Are you thinking that if you give a chance to him and after some time whether he will go again with any other lady. Are you married to him or just friends. If you married to him then just explain him about the mistake. He can understand and obey you. If not married then what is the difference between you and your friend and your friend and his friend. Nothing. Have a nice day and think more before taking any action.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
7 Dec 12
ya,,thats right! If she want to get marry to him, as said, she should explain the mistakes he did, if not why thinking all about him and the reality is both of them are only friends.
@NailTech (6892)
• United States
7 Dec 12
I would not give him another chance. There is a saying once a cheater always a cheater. There have been rare instances where a guy has never cheated again but it all depends on the circumstances. MY Grandmother was married to a man who cheater on her also many many many years ago and she took him back. Probably shouldn't have either. The bum didn't work but they had 5 kids together, including my mother. If they wouldn't have gotten back together, my Aunt said they would have never had my mom who was their last child. I wonder about that sometimes. But I can really answer for you, you have to make the decision yourself and your instincts on what this guy is about. There will be women like that girl you hate, they try to seduce men like that, and the guy should have enough self control to not go there. The men can be flirts as well. I have seen both sides.
1 person likes this
@rhodzptc (1319)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
My instinct says yes, my heart says yes but brain keep saying no! I am so confused love, hatred and pain is what I am feeling now.
@trisha27 (3505)
• United States
9 Dec 12
It would drive me nuts if after you had all the evidence and you even show him the proof that you had that he would continue to lie about it. Like really? Okay if he never made the mistakes that he claims to have never had made, then why the heck are you going to admit to them. A person that is not guilty, will not admit to something that they did not do. But anyway, this is all on you if you want to stay with him and try and work things out. But I think that he should be honest with you if anything. If he can't be honest with you then what is the point. It won't work out because you will never trust him. If that was me, no I would not take him back, just because he couldn't be honest with me either and I know that I would never trust him again.
1 person likes this
@nezavisima (7423)
• Bulgaria
9 Dec 12
6 years, it is my life long friend. really think you better know this man and myself might have to decide whether to give him a second chance. Adultery is still a very difficult thing to forgive because sometimes if you forgive not happen again and yet might not happen. What do you think if you forgive him if I cheated again or not? I personally would give a second chance if you really love him and I tried to break up why I cheated for what reason? good day and good luck!
1 person likes this
@mythociate (14208)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
9 Dec 12
Okay. If after six years of your life you can't trust him, then you don't love him enough to give him another chance. Set him free.
1 person likes this
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
7 Dec 12
After reading what you have mentioned about the boy and that so called beautiful girls it seem either your (boy) friend may be just friendly with her or may be seriously involved in her. If you feel that he is really involved or interested in that girl then surely you won't trust your (boy) friend and when there is no trust surely you won't love him also. So better stay away from him if you really feel that the boy is not interested in you but is interested in another girl.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
It's annoying that he even said sorry for the mistake he never did. I'm annoyed. That's really up to you. But here are some words for you. *Some people say there are times when a man makes mistakes and cheat on a girl. *Even so, if he really loved and respected you, he must not even think about cheating on you. *He lies and does not admit his mistakes - is that the kind of guy you want to be with for the rest of your life? *Men turn into angels to get what they want. (for some, no offense) His actions proved how much he really cared for you.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39034)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
It's up to you if you want to give him another chance. No one can tell or feel how sincere he is for asking apology. If he truly loves you he will not waste that 6 years of relationship that you have both shared. In my opinion- don't regret that 6 years but thankful that you have known the real him before you marry him.
@rhodzptc (1319)
• Philippines
7 Dec 12
Thanks for the opinion, well we are actually supposed to be marrying soon.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25007)
• Australia
15 Dec 12
If you weaken and take him back he will always be tempted to take advantage of you again. Some guys don't have any idea about being loyal and faithful. I'm guessing that he just went with this woman because he could, but there is another reason too...he just doesn't care for you enough - no matter what he says - actions speak louder than words. In my opinion, you can do better.
@rhodzptc (1319)
• Philippines
26 Dec 12
I always believe in him he show me what love means, he said he cheated and choose that girl instead of because he doesn't to hurt me anymore by choosing me while I was still in pain and sorrow that I would always remember how he cheated on me. He said he will wait until the wounds heal and then I could learned to forgive him with my all my heart.
@j6face (67)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 12
you should move on. he dont feel regret when he started another relationship with a girl. he dont feel regret when he goes beyond with the girl and he never even thought about you when he was more physical with that girl. even then, he tried lame excuses to cover his act and justifies. in the end, once nothing works out, he tried forgiveness as a weapon. if you give him a chance, history will repeats. unless you are 100 percent confident that he is super sincere about it and show it in action for a period of time.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
sad to hear .. I know how it hurts to be cheated i once experienced that. My friendly advice is follow your heart and brain.. Think if you will forgive him will you stil be happy and ready to accept and forget his mistake? If you can't then you are not ready to accept him, because if you accept him with anger still in your heart,only your relationship will always lead to argue and doubt on him that when he is away from you .you may think that he is with another girl or cheating on you, and it will only end in fighting in both of you.and then I don't think that you will be happy.but if you are ready to forgive him then forgive him. everyone deserves a second chance for those who are 'Deserving'. Do whatever makes you feel happy..
@marguicha (82940)
• Chile
12 Dec 12
What do you mean by saying that he was caught in the act? What is your evidence? Still, if you say that youwasted 6 years of your life with him, it seems that whatever he did was more important to you than any good thing he did in 6 years. So, I think it`s time to move on.
• Philippines
12 Dec 12
If I were in your shoes, I would probably leave him and move on. I don't think I deserve to be cheated and be treated that way. I believe that if he has done it to me today, then he must have done a couple of times while for 6 years. The best thing to do for me is to leave and move on. I know that there will be other guys out there who will love me unconditionally.
@inertia4 (26786)
• United States
12 Dec 12
Remember one thing. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I actually gave my wife a second chance and it totally backfired on me. So I will never give anyone a second chance ever again. And if your avatar is really your picture, then he is crazy for cheating on you. Move on.
@artemeis (4023)
• China
11 Dec 12
As offending as it may be, I have to ask that you breakup with him because sadly you do not deserve to remain in this relationship any longer. Six years and you could consider breaking off him from a colleague's hearsay, that the girl involved has looks of an actress and that the only "wrongful" act was that your boyfriend of six years made the effort of sending her home. What's wrong with that? Is that cheating? Really? You need to remember that you are not the only person revolving around his life and likewise you would have your own space and circle of friends. So, don't be unreasonable and over demanding. Trust should be earned and as such he should be allowed to prove himself. What you did is simply unreasonable and that you have undermined the six years you have spent on this relationship.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
9 Dec 12
Only you can tell whether he is really cheating or what? He may have flirted with her or wanted to get close to her because she looks like the actress he adored. If you think he is sincere with his apologies and you still can trust him then give him a chance. But if you will always think that he will cheat you then just move on.
@romzee (938)
• Philippines
9 Dec 12
No one can tell you what is right or what is wrong, it's up to you how you will reach your decision about this matter. Either you give him another chance or give up, only you can really judge what's best for your 6 years relationship. Have a great day. Ciao!
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
8 Dec 12
If he was a husband, a spouse you married, then I would be open to the idea of reconciliation. Forgiving, and allowing him the chance to prove himself. Of course that would be up to each individual to make that choice. If you refused, I would stand by you there as well. The longer the marriage, the more chance I may give. If I had been married to someone for 30 years, I would be more willing to give a second chance, than if I had been married 6 months. If you are married 6 months, or only a year and a half, and the other person is already falling in love with someone else, then he never really loved you at all. However, if this is a *boy* friend, just a boy, that you happen to be friends with, or even if you are living with your *boy* friend, or sleeping with your *boy* friend... Well then I would call this over. This right here, is why *boy* friends are *boys* and not *husbands*. The two are not the same. And most of the time, the reason a *boy* doesn't want to get married is specifically so he can remain a *boy* and run around after other girls. So in this case, I would never deal with him again. I would cut him off, block his messages, even change my phone number so he can't call me. I would move on, and find someone who wants to be a *husband*, and not a *boy* friend.
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Take time to think for it. Despite the fact that he cheated on you, he admits it and say sorry for it and asked for your forgiveness. I think you should give a second chance. There are a lot of flirty women nowadays and we will be loser if we allow our loved ones owned them. Maybe your husband was being flirt by that woman and he cannot resisted it.