Friend only when needed

Indonesia
December 8, 2012 5:09am CST
I have a friend, if he need something or he has a problem he always call me. One day he borrow some money with me and I help him, but when I ask for my money he don't care and always avoid me. I feel that money not everything and I forget that. Last night he call me and need some help to me. What are you doing if your position in me?
2 people like this
16 responses
@Lovegreen (376)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
hi hyden:) Well if you feel you're just being used then I suggest you get out of the frienship if you can call it that way. I would get out if I feel that I need to. Your instincts will tell you, and listening to that will guide you on what you have to do.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (54812)
• Delhi, India
10 Dec 12
You appear to have plenty of money and a large heart. Your friend should have returned the money and if he did not or could not, he should not have asked for help from you again. I would have first asked for my money before going for any other assistance, had I been in your place.
@bellis716 (4807)
• United States
10 Dec 12
I'd forget about the money and your so called "friend".
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
9 Dec 12
Never lend money to anyone. Never lend money period. Never do it. This is exactly what happens when you lend money. He avoids you, and now your hurt. Whenever anyone asks you if they can have money, you determine which to do. Either give them the money, as a gift. Or you don't give them money. Never lend. Lending is bad. As for this guy, say no. Don't say you don't have the money, unless you honestly have no money. Lying makes you as bad as him. Don't be a liar. Tell the truth. "No. I do not lend out money. Sorry". If he is not your friend anymore, because you refuse to give him money, then he was never a friend. Friends are friends, even if you don't give them money. People who are only friends when you give them something, are not friends. They are abusive users. You don't need an abusive person in your life. So you say to him "No. I do not lend out money. Sorry", and whatever happens, happens. And never lend money ever again.
• Bangladesh
8 Dec 12
avoid him could be the better solution. Because there are some friends that, they stay with you whenever they need you and most of the time they will disappears.
@ungu89 (2001)
• Malaysia
8 Dec 12
look like your friend is taking the advantages on your friendship. i really hate to hear it. its ok if he already borrow and return back to you. but he try to avoid then ask again. also it involve with money, when it come to money, sometime we just cannot believe people easily. hope u just follow your heart. if i'm there, i will try to say no to him,
@sriroshan (2586)
• India
8 Dec 12
Such people so called friend and their friendship everyone had experienced in their life at least once. It is not you only. Even I had some friend they will called me only when they have some help may be monetary or other wise. In your case what I suggest you if he asked for the money again just refused him saying that you too are running short of money or give any other excuse.
@prashu228 (22652)
• India
8 Dec 12
such people are found everywhere. Even i have few friends like that. we should ignore them sweetly if they continue to be like that. Just say you are not in a position to help without hurting. wise people will definitely understand.
@Aja103654 (5663)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
Ignore him. I don't want a friend like him. If he owes me money he should pay it, if he doesn't even try to pay it, then I won't let him borrow again ever. He's not even fit to be called a friend. Someone who uses you whenever they need you, they are not real friends. Sorry to tell you this, but if I were in your case I'd punch that friend of mine in the face.
@betty1989 (752)
• China
8 Dec 12
Your friend may just want benefit from you. This kind of friend is not really friend. As you said, you ask him to give your money back and he just tried to avoid this. That means he doesn't want to give back to you. Moreover, he asks you again. You should refuse his asking and says I have no money. I know it wil hurt, but if you are not doing this, he will ask you again and again.have a nice day.
@subhojit10 (7384)
• India
8 Dec 12
Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Well it is very disappointing to hear that your friend is referring u only when he is in need and is avoiding u when u are approaching him. Having such greedy and selfish friends is like cursing your life and it is always better to keep such people at bay. Such people should never be befriended and i hope some day he will get the taste of the way he is treating you. Confront him personally whenever u meet him. What say?
@caopaopao (1044)
• China
8 Dec 12
if someone wants to borrow money from me,i wouldn't say no at once.it depends on who they are and how much they want to borrow.if its my good friend who asks me about that i would think about it.some people never return the money back,that's the probelem.and they have diferent excuse about it.if its a friend wants to borrow money but its more than what i think that i dont really have,i would be very honestly and tell him/her sorry straight away that i dont have it.if i could afford to lend the money to others i would tell them dont forget to return to me one day in case they really forget.its not easy to say no sometimes .but if they really need the money for emergency and you help them overcome the diffculties by lend money,its big help for them.so what to do when someone try to borrow money from you.it depends on the situation. And as to your friend, he borrowed money , and didn't want to return back, I feel it's not waht a real friend should do, If I were you, I won't help him this time. Thanks for sharing,and have a nice day!
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
8 Dec 12
You must ignore him so that he will realized what he did. I do not consider that kind of person as a friend but user. If someone borrows a money, she or he must give back the total amount of being borrowed and not to take for granted the one who has been help us when we are in short or in difficulty. He must be sensitive enough.
• Indonesia
8 Dec 12
your have a problem same like me. my friend always call me when he need me. he also borrow my money and total not little. when I need my money, my friend not respond anything. so sometimes I feel, I haven't a friend. with friend same like that we not be needed care for him. respecting not the everything that related to him...
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
8 Dec 12
Well now you know what kind of friend he is. I said it many times before: do NOT borrow money to friends/family/acquintances or strangers. No matter how much they beg or how in need they sound or how much they try to manipulate you. Friendship is over if you do that. Also... if you can NOT afford to give then also do not borrow. Next time your friend in need knocks on your door keep it closed! And before you do anyting for someone again ask yourself if that person would do the same for you. That way you will not attract these kind of (so called) friends anymore. What I would do in your position is clear now or? Tell your friend you are not able to help him (unless it's free advice). You need money yourself and you expect him to pay you back in 4 days! BTW you did not forget about the money otherwise you would not have mentioned it over here. That friend of yours is an abuser! He sees you as the stupid idiot that will always help him out.
@Mavic123456 (7910)
• Thailand
8 Dec 12
Tell him I don't have money. then, i am sorry. well such friends are not worthy to be taken care of. I mean it is obvious that he is just know you when he needed you. that's not fair. so just tell him that you have no money.