let me know your honest and sincere opinion:)

United States
December 9, 2012 8:52pm CST
My friend and I are not talking at work and everyone knows about it. This is what happened. We were so close at WORK for the past 2 years. Work together almost everyday.We are very opposite in many ways though. She likes to criticize people, make fun of co-workers etc. Tried not to entertain it but I have noticed I started thinking a little like her as time goes by. Which I always tried to correct whenever I realized I am influenced. To make my story short, one day she yelled at me for a very very childish reason. She asked something from another person at work and she didn't like the way the girl answered her and she was complaining, murmuring a lot and I told her what was wrong with her answer?! and she started yelling and didn't talked to me whole day....So, I thought, this is it, I better stay away from her and I guess I am better off when we are not talking. and for the past 3 weeks, I feel happy not to hear her criticism, her being nosy about other workers... is it a sin to ignore her until this time? your opinion please!
4 people like this
16 responses
• United States
10 Dec 12
No it is not a sin,but it should make work like a little uncomfortable though. I would be happy to rid myself of that kind of person. She was only yor friend because she was doing things her way. when you spoke up she was livid. leave her alone as long as you can..
2 people like this
• United States
10 Dec 12
very enlightening.Thanks for your sincere point of view.
@dpk262006 (56480)
• Delhi, India
10 Dec 12
Hi! I wonder how you could tolerate such a friend who is in the habit of criticizing and yelling at others and she did not think twice before yelling at you. It would be wiser to keep a distance from her, as she could cause further troubles with her behaviour.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Dec 12
she is a lot older than me so I tried to be patient but for the past 2 years, I really tried to advise her to stop doing it. At first I thought, I can influence her as time goes by but maybe I was too weak and I was the one who little by little influenced the way she thinks...So, I believed the incident happen has a reason, for me to keep distance from her. A lot of people at work don't like to work with her either.
@dpk262006 (56480)
• Delhi, India
11 Dec 12
It means you tried your level best so that you could mend the behaviour of that lady but you did not succeed.
• United States
11 Dec 12
Nope, I don't think it's wrong. I have a cousin who none of my other Cousins get along with. She and became close the last few years But I've always known that if she were just An associate , I'd probably Not be friends with her. Anyway, she is very prone to flying off the handle, And she herself admits that she has no friends because she is a b#%*^ at Times. Anyway, most recently she got upset with me around thanksgiving and we haven't Spoken since. Whenever we have a disagreement, and we are not speaking I always feel a sense of relief. I feel like I love her and I want her to be well, but it wouldn't Hurt me in the least if we didn't speak at all. When we aren't talking there is more peace and I don't get sucked into the constant gossiping .
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 12
every word you mentioned her is exactly what I feel for the past 3 weeks that we are not talking, so, I am glad I'm not alone and that I am not the B**** here. I feel really happy that I am away from her and after work, I feel so light and more relaxed!
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
10 Dec 12
Do you want this person to be your friend? Do you want to be influenced by this person? Sometimes, too much togetherness is, well, too much. Sounds like she was not acting very professional. At work, people need to be professional. Even if you are friends. Professional people don't yell at each other. It is not a sin to back off and give each other some space. If you are happy not to hear her criticism, don't you think God gets tired of people's criticism as well. Don't let her dominate you. You can have a professional life on your own. Work with people who treat you and others right.
• United States
17 Dec 12
Very well said, thanks. I love the last line or statement. For the past 3 weeks, we are not talking, I am so happy and contented. I feel guily sometimes because I know I need to let it go and be casual but I feel like I am better off to just avoid her!
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
10 Dec 12
Tell me who your friends are and i will tell you who you are ! Now your friend is having a bad attributes then don't tolerate her , teach her what is the right and desirable manners. She is very arrogant , like oppressive never a good thing in a person . It tells how is her heart and it tells her total personality. You need to help your friend change , she is not really bad , maybe somethings initiated her to be like that , go and talk to her with a heart .Let her express all the things she wanted to say , then after she's done , you give her your mind calmly but stressing significant matters. Tell her how important are the character and values of a person.Tell her that you and she is just but one in others eyes therefore mistake of her will be yours also . Hope you can influence her in the long run. That is maybe why you're friends because you have a mission in her. Cheers !!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 12
Love your optimism Angel. Actually, this is the second time we were not talking. First one happened last year, same situation so childish and she stopped talking so that time, I approached her and told her everything I think about her and her attitude. She listened and we were patched up. Everything went well but after 2 or 3 weeks she was back in her routine of watching every worker at work and make funny and rude comments, tried to tolerate and correct sometimes or totally ignore her as if I didn't hear anything until that day happened that she yelled at me.
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
10 Dec 12
You are right about being influenced, I once felt this too but unfortunately for me, I did not able to go out easily like you did. Take this as blessing in disguise and hold on to that blessing because it sounds like you have enough from this girl. Sooner she might talk to you and hang out again, then find excuses to avoid her till you run out of excuses, just tell her your real reason then, or better yet, tell her right away what you don't like about her, she might understand and try to change herself for the better..who knows.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 12
Actually, this is not the first time we didn't talked. It happened in the past for almost the same childish reason. But, I talked to her first and explained to her why I tried to stop talking to her, she knows I didn't like it when she makes fun of our friends at work etc. I was very open to her about everything. She is the type of person who listen but does the same thing all over again. And a lot of people at work told me it is already her habit ever since she started working there because she works there 3 years before I got there!
• United States
10 Dec 12
Hey Che! When you are being influenced around certain people, you pick up their behaviors. It's common for children and adults. But when it gets to a point where it's in a working environment and you notice ugly patterns within yourself and your worker, it does have an effect on you. Making fun of people, then she had the audacity to yell and scream at you?! Really? I'ts best to clear out of that kind of situation right away. Stay clear away from her.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 12
I appreciate your wonderful thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I am the Bi*** here because she tried to talked to me and I just responded Hi and after that I tried to avoid her anymore. For the past 3 weeks that we are not in contact, I feel so happy and more relaxed, at the end of the day, I feel light not spending a lot of my hours listening to her making fun of other people!
• Indonesia
10 Dec 12
hey I also experienced the same thing. Well, it was not Because she yelled at me, but because she hid my bag when hours after work. I ignored her for a while, it was great fun because I did not hear complaints from her for a few days. But after a while I missed for talking back to her, she was not that bad . If she's a bad influence to you, maybe you should keep a distance from her, but do not ignore her because it might affect the working atmosphere in the office.
• United States
17 Dec 12
thanks for your opinion. Everyone knows at work we are not talking. They don't ask us anymore or bother us, I agree it affects for some reason but I feel great, at the end of the day, I feel relaxed and less stress unlike before because it's 8 hours I listen to her complain and criticism about other people!
@Hatley (164506)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Dec 12
hi checapricorn haven't seen y ou for a l ont ti me. wow but not talking at all is that not hard to do or do y ou work separately from her? I also do not like coworkers who are always running another coworker down. I never know how handle that as I do not like to do that myself.after all these are all people we must work with and getting catty causes strife in the workplace. I really loved all my coworkers in the 'library and we all respected each other so much. What was so nice was I could go to any of them and ask for help and they wou ld help me in one way or another. Yet when I was retired nobody ever called me I guess out of sight out of mind y et if I met them in the stores they were all over me wanting to know how I was etc. so they all had families and i was widowed.
• United States
10 Dec 12
Hi Hatley, glad to see you here, been busy working but I really miss mylot and all the people I virtually made friends in the past, that includes you, I remember you're always in my post and glad to know I still have old virtual friends who are still active. It's kinda hard since we work in the same place and see each other for 8 hours but we work in separate areas now. We have co-worker who tried to patch us up but I prefer this way. I told them since I didn't work with her, I find peace and have a lighter heart.
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
11 Dec 12
Negative people can cause negative things in your own life. I personally think you are better off without her. Obviously she doesn't want to change herself, but change you.
1 person likes this
@al1979ex (125)
• Philippines
10 Dec 12
if it's good for you then dont mind her business. believe me she has some insecurity problems on her own. you can talk to her casually and all related to work but personally I would also not initiate to talk to her anymore. she likes to criticize and make fun of co-workers ou say? jeesh..what a low life. dont anymore let yourself influenced by her.
1 person likes this
@mhean30 (28)
• United Arab Emirates
10 Dec 12
Sometimes it takes time for someone who will begin the discussion. Ignoring her is not a sin but it help you be the same person you are and not to be like the way she acted.
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
10 Dec 12
No, it isn't. You are free to choose who you befriend and who you keep as a friend. I think she's immature and selfish. But do remember that she is human and prone to errors. Understand her and confront her about her attitude, maybe that will make her think to change herself for the better. If she doesn't make any effort of improving herself then, that's her problem, eh?
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
10 Dec 12
She needs to grow up. I could understand your stand off with her and keeping your distance from her could probably make her realize that her childish attitude is not acceptable in public more so in official working environment.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (4416)
• Australia
10 Dec 12
It's not a sin. And for the record she stopped talking to you first after she yelled at you. So for me the first to make amends should be her. If she doesn't it means that she doesn't even value your friendship so why bother? Those kinds of persons will get you in trouble somehow. But since you're co workers if she makes some efforts what you can do is be civil at least talk when it's about work. Job performance shouldn't be compromised despite the fact that you have some misunderstandings.
1 person likes this
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
10 Dec 12
I think this is the time that you should get away from her, knowing that she has a bit bad habits on criticizing people and somehow influenced you.And since you are happy having her out of your world then it would not be a big problem.And it is not a sin, i think that decision is good for you. so better stick with that. :)
1 person likes this