She suddenly stopped talking to me....

@mommyboo (13198)
United States
December 10, 2012 12:31pm CST
Have you ever had a friend that you were semi-to fairly close with, that you spoke with daily, probably saw at least once or twice a week and suddenly without warning, it's like they've dropped off the face of the earth? Oh, they are still around, and in fact some of your mutual friends see them but for some reason it's almost like they are ignoring you? If you contact THEM, they answer, sometimes almost immediately but are very vague and off-putting if you try to arrange to meet up or ask if they are going to an event or party or get together. I actually asked this person directly if I had offended her or if she was upset with me about something and she said NO. I can't figure out what is going on and how it's possible to believe I haven't offended her and she's not upset if she suddenly seems to want nothing to do with me. I NEVER feel this way about people, and this is the first time in my life I have EVER asked someone. I let it go for awhile in case I was being sensitive but now it's past the point where that could be the reason. If you've experienced this, what was the deal? When someone acts this way, ARE they usually upset with you about something and just don't want to admit it or rehash it? Don't they think you deserve to have your say in the matter since it might be a miscommunication or misunderstanding?
7 people like this
19 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
10 Dec 12
I think you are right and something did happen why suddenly your friend behaves like that. Ofcourse your friend says NO if you ask how or what, since they do not have the courage to tell you or they think you know exactly what happened (even if you seriously do not know how or what). It did happen to me and I still don't know what exactly someone said that that friend made that decision. But what I do know (learned) is that it is not worth asking or waiting for such a person. Go on with your life. Your friend knows where to find you. If that friend is not straight or honest enough to tell you it's no friend at all.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
11 Dec 12
Yeah... I really don't know what happened. I'm not stupid though, so I know SOMETHING obviously happened. After all, I would not suddenly just stop talking to someone for no reason. Nothing else has changed with us, it's not like one of us or both of us went back to work full time and is just NOT AVAILABLE any more. I know when that has happened in the past exactly why it happens and although it bums me out, I can understand it.
• United States
10 Dec 12
Maybe she is going threw something and depressed. Sometimes people cut themselves off from people they care about the most when they are having issues.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
11 Dec 12
I guess that's true. It's a bummer to be shut out though, I have offered to help in the past - and I'm pretty clear with people that I would never even OFFER if I didn't MEAN IT. There are some people I would NEVER offer to help because I know they'd be taking advantage of me. The people I do offer to help I care very much for.
@RawBill1 (8542)
• Gold Coast, Australia
10 Dec 12
I wouldn't take it too personally. Perhaps she is just going through some sort of crisis that she does not feel comfortable talking about yet. Maybe it is best to just give her some space and let her sort it out and hope that she will come back to you when she is ready.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
11 Dec 12
I hope so. It's too bad that I miss her though, you know how people may have lots of acquaintances but not a TON of very close friends. I considered this person a pretty good friend and I enjoyed her company.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Dec 12
I've had situations where I grew apart frpm somebody. It was more gradual though.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
11 Dec 12
Yeah, it is kind of strange. It would make more sense if I could pinpoint something but I can't.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
11 Dec 12
Hi.. Yes, like most of us, I have had this annoying experience quite some times... When I was a kid, I used to feel bad if someone stopped talking to me all of a sudden, without any cause. I'd feel hurt, and I'd cry... Later, very late, I discovered that it would make no difference to my life if someone stopped talking to me... If they think, I'm not good enough for them to be with, then I don't care about such people. For me they don't exist... I'll communicate with our mutual friends, but won't even look at the person who stopped talking without any reason... Take care...
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Dec 12
When this happens it is most likely they have done something to me and I slowly remove them from my life. I stop calling and then I stop visiting them and after a while I stop taking their calls. If I see them in the street I act like I don't see them and turn my head the other way. I do all this t avoid fighting over something they will deny doing to me..
1 person likes this
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
11 Dec 12
I never forget that day when my selfish friend suddenly stopped to talk with me. She was stay total 15 days day and night in my home for study and I teach her first then start my study she got more percentage and I got less percentage. When her marriage is fixed next day I call her for congrats then she said me now next time dont call me suddenly my tears are came and asked why then she said I make friend to you only for study purpose. That days was the black day for me. Now I understand all friends are selfish and not trust on friendship so not make any new offline friend.
@prashu228 (25516)
• India
11 Dec 12
Oh my how can she be so rude? That too said straight away on face that she did friendship only for study purpose. How shame. I think she don't have any morals. Don't worry. such people are not worth of your special friendship. You should be happy that such person is out of your life.
@sugartoes (43266)
• Greencastle, Indiana
22 Nov 15
I've been done this way so many times for no reason I know of I don't even bother to try & figure it out anymore, people don't seem to care about our feelings these days if it's not about all them it don't matter is the way it's getting 2- B with people now days hate 2 say that's why I have no friends offline these days if you don't have what they want you don't matter to them I have a neighbor the same way it was borrow borrow borrow but when it came to asking for some pay back the communication stopped just that fast after 3 yrs.
@34momma (13895)
• United States
11 Dec 12
this has happened to me before. I like you asked the person what was the deal. they too said oh nothing, we are still cool. But we only talk if we around the same friends. I just let it go as her lose. I mean if she was really my friend and I did or said something that bothered her, she should have said something to me. Just like I asked her. other then that.... I just let it go
@natliegleb (5184)
• India
11 Dec 12
well it might be some serious case of misunderstanding all the way and it all depends on how well we take the situation under control after that
@prashu228 (25516)
• India
11 Dec 12
I have been through this.One of my friend suddenly stopped all contacts with me. she was with me as long as she has work. I used to go with her where ever she used to call me for help in spite of being busy.But i dont/never understood she was just using me. After my studies sh completely for got me . Now she has another set of friends. I am sure she will be with them until her work is done.
@schulzie (4064)
• United States
11 Dec 12
It's hard to say why people so this. It's happened to me a couple of times in my life. Honestly there is really nothing you can do to make her be friendly with you again. I have an ex-friend from high school. We were really close, I was her Matron of Honor in her first wedding. But the years passed and her marriage failed and they seemed amicable during the whole divorce proceeding. But after the divorce was finalized she would have nothing to do with me any more. I have still not figured out what her deal is with me. I have known her since we were 16 years old. Oh well. Sometimes you just have to accept things in life and move on. Anyways, if she wants to reconcile with you one day she will let you know. But until then it is probably better for you to just move on and get on with your life. Have a great day and happy myLotting!!!
• Philippines
11 Dec 12
just give her some space. maybe something might just bothering her. thus, she prefer to be alone.
@Arieles (2474)
• United States
11 Dec 12
I sure have, and in most cases, it's not you, it its them. You did nothing wrong, they are the ones that need to change, not you. Keep yourself busy and get on with your life, no sense in wasting several years in trying to figure out what went wrong. If they ever contact you again, you don't have to be friends with them, but if you choose to just know that it will never be the same as it was before. I know this all sounds a little harsh, but we are not on this earth for people to use and abuse us or walk all over us. We are here as companions, helpers, and friends and if they refuse to see that, it is there loss. Life is to short to be unhappy.
11 Dec 12
I had 2 friends like this with 2 different reasons. One was a really good friend when we first met in college. She lived in the room next to me and we did a lot together. She even borrowed my clothes to clubs here and there since I was from a closer city and could bring more stuff. She quite suddenly just stopped talking to me really. I saw it was because she found a different set of friends. They were rather "bad girls club" for my taste but I guess the popularity drew her in. The other friend is still a friend sort of she is just very wishy washy. Long periods of time with no convo. and then you see her and its like "HEY!". She is just an inconsistent person. In your case, do you think it is nothing that you did to her and an issue with her? Or perhaps you did do something to someone else or something that people don't approve of in general and she just noticed that is not a quality she wants in a friend. Think carefully.
@Shavkat (66205)
• Philippines
11 Dec 12
Along the course of my journey in interacting with people, I do have the experience of what are you wondering about a friend. Friends are like having their own world; they might be in other dimensions not to talk to you so abrupt. At the end, you may find things that are so alarming that they have inner sentiments towards you. Thus, you can ask her why; try to get in touch with her. If she keeps on doing such actuation, then let it be and give her time to internalize what made her became so aloof.
@ruffabee (145)
• Philippines
11 Dec 12
awkward interactions between friends are usual. maybe we can ask ourselves that why is it happening or you probably in the midst of thinking on why does she act like this or why is she ignoring me? yeah ignoring somebody without a reason is awkward and it really happens. all you need to do is to observe her, and pray always that she has to stop this....
@deine86 (115)
• Philippines
11 Dec 12
Maybe there something about the behavior of your friend. I think she has a problem on her own that she don't want to talk with anyone. Maybe you should let her alone for a while, maybe she's thinking of the solution.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
11 Dec 12
When I friend suddenly becomes not that "visible", I think it is sometimes cause they have other important things that need to attend to or they just simply want to go out with other friends that they seem to have lost touch for a long time. Don't worry! Just let your friend miss you a bit. I am sure she'll have time again with you.