past is past!

Philippines
December 14, 2012 12:14am CST
its just stupid how I am still affected by my past. I don't know but honestly, I really feel anguish every time I saw pictures of my long-time partner with her ex-girlfriend-soon-to-be-girlfriend-now. Maybe, I just can't still absorb the fact that he chooses that girl over me, whose always there for him in every step of the way. But honestly, if you're in my foot? Will you really accept that absurd fact?! For five straight years, I have loved him with all my heart full of loyalty, trust and faith that he won't cheat on me but still he did. I really wanted to hurt and punch him! Was he blind? That girl can't even fight for him wholly, yet he still chooses her?! I just don't understand! I did nothing wrong to experience all of this! :( I know I should be happy for him, but all i feel was betrayal's pain. Every time it crosses my mind, my mood becomes worst. I wanted to forget the whole of him. I know I will miss the memories we shared together but its better than feeling the pain over and over again. Now, I'm somehow unsure of opening my heart again. I just don't want to experience this same fate in love once again! :(
2 people like this
20 responses
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
It is really so hurting, isn't it? But that's fine for it is just for now. Surely, one day you will be alright and will laugh only when you remember this thing you are feeling right now. I am saying this because I know how it felt. It is really painful that you don't want to love again but I assure you... One day true love will comes your way and it is for you to decide to take a chance for it once again and might be happy or leave all your positive beliefs behind and lead to a bitter life. I wish you the best! I will not advice you to forget the pain but I hope that you will see the lesson you will learn from this. Whatever you gain from this heartache will make you a stronger and better person than you are now. Everything happens for a reason and please don't waste your time to feel this hatred because when you meet the one that is meant for you then you will be thankful that this ex of yours is already out of your life.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Experience really teaches good lessons. HAHAHAH! In the future I will laugh and learn this lesson's value. Thank GOD I experience this. It will definitely makes me a better person now,. Lesson learned! :)
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
I just based all of that with my experience with my ex. I loved him though even he don't deserve it but he cheated on me. I cried with my stupidity then but when I met my husband and found true love then I got it... God just made his way to change my life.
@Erynn14 (359)
• Malaysia
14 Dec 12
No matter how hard you wanted to try to forget, memories always stays forever in your mind. It is hard for one person to forget the person you love. Maybe, throw away the picture that you have with him is a way for you to feel better and not to think too much about the past. I ever left my past photo with the one I love back then for like 1 or 2 years or maybe 3 years. I even decided on choosing to wait for the guy who for me I felt betrayed because after our breaks up, it was like after 2 or 3 weeks or maybe 1 month, he went to chase another girl which is my best friend. At that moment, I was frustrated and scold whoever I can and became a lot rude than before. All this act is because I still love him and I can't accept the way he did those things to me and can't let go of the past and created that kind of me. But after quarreling with my best friends as known as sister in school, I got that, no matter how much I love him, he do not love me anymore. He do not appreciate my good to him and he do not understand the way I am is actually one kind of caring. So I learned to wish him to be happy with the girl he love, that makes me feel better. But I still wait for 1 year plus. But in the end, I decided to move on and be happy as I can. People say, be happy in front of people who hate you or dislike you, is a best revenge. Well, since he did that to you, be happy in front of him, he might feel hurt for breaking up with you but things cannot be changed anymore. Learn to let go, and move on. I know it's easy to say than doing it. But I did it! He left, means he don't deserve you and you deserve to someone much more better. Please don't give up hope and not moving on. If you keep staying in the past, your life will always be in miserable. No one can help you, but yourself. Focus on the thing you must do and you are interesting in and make yourself as busy as you can with the thing you like. After a long while, you will feel better. Absolutely better than having him. You will find that, even without him, you can live happily. Use the time to learn new thing and change what you think that you shouldn't do. That someone special will definitely come. One day. So, nhailojaye, be strong! No one can help you but yourself! You can live better without him and live a life that you love! Good luck!
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
That's right! I am the only person who can help myself. i believe that everything happens for the best but really, its really hard to accept that fact. He left me for his ex who never had the guts to fight for him. Its really ironic but somehow I wanted him to be happy too. But can't he just be happy with me? HAHAHAHA! Anyway, I know this is impossible now. I just wish I can get over with this storm in my life. Sooner, I will. Thanks a lot :)))
@Erynn14 (359)
• Malaysia
15 Dec 12
Well, if things happen this way, you cannot change anything. Even you can't accept the fact, it is still real. If you keep having this thought on thinking 'he left me for his ex who never had guts to fight for him.', you will get harder to let go of things. If he can just happy with you, then you should be happy of not having this guy who don't deserve your happiness right? Just try your best and be strong to get over it! Good luck and wish you meet your true love who really deserve you one day. Welcome! :D
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
i believe in the saying time heal all wounds.. just wait for the time where you will feel free from anguish.. what you are feeling right now is so normal for a girl who been betrayed it happened to me and i know the feeling of being hurt.. it was a seven year relationship then all of a sudden he texted me that she got someone pregnant.. how awful right.. anyways to heal my broken heart i turned to my friends they helped me a lot when i am in pain.. we go out and just have fun at times the sadness will overtake me and i will cry but it ok to cry..now i have my family and very much happy..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
I have all the time to be healed and definitely I have my true friends and loving family to help me. Also, God is always there to guide me. Am sure, I will have that very special love story that he reserved just for me :)
@ivakar (36)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
14 Dec 12
Well they say that time will heal the wounds. Good music help you get over somebody who hurt you. I sympathize with you, I hope you get better. If you suffer that only means that you have good soul.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Oh, thanks. I've always thought that this is happening to me because I'm bad. To recover, I really do stuff like that -listening to music, hanging out with friends, reading books and visiting the library and many other more. I am diverting my attention to productive things, my friend once told me it will help mend my broken-heart. Thanks a lot! :)
@pomwango (1355)
• Kenya
14 Dec 12
hi Nhailojaye,i don't think you are doing anything wrong hurting about the relationship.its normal to feel pain that's why we are told love can hurt a lot.sorry about the betrayal but if he chose to move on to someone else accept his choice however hard,find your own peace and don't let this make you think love must hurt.when it does it means that was not meant to last and the one meant for you will come and it will last.take your time to recover and go out and meet new people,do it for yourself not to teach him a lesson or to prove a point to anyone but do it when your heart is ready.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
thanks for that mind opening. somehow, I am urge to change so that I can prove to him that his choice is not good. But somehow, I realized that I should changed for myself and not for him. For if I did that, I will be forevermore be trapped in his memories and locked world. I will be a better person. Not for him. Not for anyone, but for MYSELF! Thanks! :)
@bittu27 (86)
• India
14 Dec 12
This is life. nothing in this world is permanent, things which come to us will go one day. Nowadays, relationships are very fragile as there is no true love. Everybody is running after money and for the sake of that, one can do anything to get money. The main thing is that we have to understand a person from the heart but not just by seeing his clothes or his family or how much bank balance he holds or how good looking he is and then everything is left in the hands of our destiny. so forget ur past and lead the rest of ur life with joy, fun and happiness. As this small life of ours in this earth is very precious.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
I've always thought to myself that he is my true love but I didn't come to notice that I am not his. HAHHAHAH! That's really life, not everything that I am hoping to have will never be mine. Definitely, I don't want to think that way that he chooses her because she's in a well-off family for I know him really well. but who knows? People always change. But I stand my point, he is not that kind of person, I hope. I hope he chooses her because, he definitely love her. And I also hope that this girl will fight for him every step of the way just like what I did. Let's just see if they can make this relationship of theirs, works once again. :)
• Jacksonville, Florida
14 Dec 12
Being heart broken is the worst feeling possible. I completely understand how your feeling. But...the sooner you move on from him the sooner you can find your true love. He is out there somewhere waiting for you. You can only find him once you let go of the ex and the past. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and he did not do that for you so he does NOT deserve another second of your time or thoughts... I hope you can soon move on, leave your hurt in the past and find your new love.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Yeah! I have to move on... forget everything about him and let him go with that flirt! HAHAHAH! lols. But honestly, that's right! I have to live my life. After all, he's not worth it at all. thanks :))
@Iriene88 (5352)
• Malaysia
14 Dec 12
Yes, past is past. You have to move forward. Time and tide wait for no men. Do not waste your time on it as it can bring no joy to you. Open your heart for a better love, somewhere someone better who knows how to appreciates your love is waiting for you. Just look back and tell yourself that you was once experience the joy of love and now your life have to go on and seek for a better future. It is his lost not yours... for not choosing you!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Yes! I'd like to slap it in his face that it was his lost of not choosing me.. hen the time comes. Hahaha!
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
I did felt the same thing. Jerk face must suffer! I hate seeing him happy, but still, the fact that he is, there is really nothing I can do. Kudos to people who moved on internally scathed but still fighting the d*** thing.
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Yeah! That's the term I'm looking for. SUFFER! HAHAHHA! I wanted them to suffer for I'm feeling this way, which I know, I really don't deserve. HAHAHA! :( I really don't know what to do. I am still trapped in his memories and I end up feeling lonely every time I think of that. My Gosh! If I knew this would come, its better not to know him at all! lols. :)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Let's get REVENGE!.. I am kidding!. I am bit lucky I didn't feel the same way that you are feeling right now. And it's sad to know that this kind of men exist in this world. They must not multiply so they can't break any women's heart!.
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Yeah That's right! I really hope people like him never existed in this beautiful world... but honestly, the moment I fell in love with him before, I realized that the world is so beautiful.. That life is fun. And with him, everything feels cloud 9. I don't know. Love is really so magical, though right now, I'm really not sure of what I feel about him. tsk :)
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
I can feel your pain. 5 years of being in a relationship with him is such a long time. And you cannot really get over it easily especially there’s another party involved. You have loved him truly and then dump youo just to go back with his ex. He is a fool for going back to experience the same thing with her. We don’t know what’s gonna happen next to them. But right now, I guess all you gotta do is to just accept that he’s gone for good and that you’re gonna find another man. You deserve someone better who will stay with you no matter what. Don;t be afraid to open up your heart again.
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Yeah, 5 years is such a long time to hold that long. But still, I experience that. I know its God's will. Everything happen for a reason and i know, its for the best. I will definitely be happy, without him in my life. He's really gone for good. Sooner, I will be ready to open up my heart again. Thanks a lot! :))
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
16 Dec 12
For sure you can and you will. I've been in an almost 6 years relationship that didn;t work out too. It hurts and kinda hard to accept that all the hopes of being with the only guy you love were lost. We grieve for the loss of the relationship. But in order for us to accept that the guy we have loved is already gone from our life, we need to bear in our mind that they do not deserve our love. I have opened up my heart again, although the past can sometimes be cause of an argument with a new love, we have to continue loving someone new and forget about our past relationsihip.
@mariaperalta (19097)
• Mexico
14 Dec 12
Past is just that.. leave it sister and move on. You have so much waiting for you, and future. Go and find it. Take care.... see you here soon.
14 Dec 12
indeed, if you love again, you may get hurt like you did this time. but then again, if you open your heart to love again, it might be the best thing you have ever done. no one knows about the future, but it sure holds a lot of surprises. dwelling on your past relationship is not going to make things easier for you but more difficult and therefore it should not be an option. who knows, the same thing that your partner did to you may hapen to him in the future.
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Yeah that's right! Right now, I'm looking forward to that love. I know God is reserving him for me. I just have to wait now, 'cause unlike before I sort of chased it, so I end up being like this. HAHAHAHA! So I just have to wait for the right person in the right place and in the right time :)))) I should forget about him! And everything about him. It may hurts me, but its for the best. Thanks.
@asweetie (1188)
• India
14 Dec 12
Hi nhailojaye, If a guy can not see what you have done for him then he has no right to enjoy the fruits of your love both physical and emotional, your loyality and sacrifices. It is good that now you are no longer with this kind of guy. I am sure soon you will forget him and you will find a guy who would appriciate your love a lot more than this guy would ever and you would be very happy.
• Kenya
14 Dec 12
Breakups hurt depending how much resources such as time, commitment you put in the relationship. Do not wallow in anger and self pity it will consume you and feeling jealousy of the other girl will only hurt you further. Am sure you will get over him and move on with time, time is a great healer in itself. Occupy yourself with things you love doing but of course like i do when am heartbroken avoid going to places you used to visit together and delete his number. Thought about closure? Try to forgive him, i think it helps me to move on and sure there is a great man out there for you. Be patient and pray.
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Thanks for all those cheering ups. Yes, am sure I will definitely moved on and lived my life happily soon.. I just need enough time to do this. And I know I can :) But as for a new love, am not sure... As I said, I'm not into relationships at the moment. I don't want to have the same fate again. It will definitely crush me once again. Though, its really hard to forget him, I will try my very best to do this. i know this is for my own good. I believed that this is also God's will. And I know, I deserved a much better person who will deserve the whole of me... SOMEDAY or maybe in the future. Thanks :)
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Break-ups can hurt immensely and will shake us especially when our partner cheated us and they decided to choose someone over us. We need time to fully absorb the reality. I myself going through break-up almost a month ago and worse because I am pregnant. Well, I think it in a positive way that good thing it happened early rather than we will be together for long it will hurt me more and will hurt my baby if he'll leave us one day. You have to divert your attention to something productive. It's hard when you didn't do anything wrong or bad and he hurt you that much but we have to accept the reality. Acceptance and forgiveness I guess.
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Yeah. I think that's the best thing to do. My friend also tells me to do other productive things. Acceptance and forgiveness in my part is really hard because every time I saw them happy, all I wanted to do was to destroy them! HAHAHA! Eventually now, I really don't know what to do. I don't think I can accept and absorb everything now. It's still fresh and really new. But one thing's for sure, someday I'll forgive them too.
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Forgiveness and acceptance will take time!. Destroying them won't do good at all!. Every time you'll see them happy think that you are once happy with him, you both happy so time comes that what he did to you, he will do it to that girl . hopefully not!.
• China
15 Dec 12
Well from your discussion I can see that you still can not forget your ex-boyfriend,you keeping ask yourself why?But the answer is laid on your ex-boyfriend and from a boy's view I can tell you that actually the reason is hard to say why a boy choose this girl not the other. So you really need to get over him and move on,done is done,and pls remember,next is the best.
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Wow! i loved that! NEXT IS THE BEST! I will look forward to that next of mine. Thanks :)))
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Well it's just normal for you to feel that way. Because you're not the only person experiencing that kind of situation. :)
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Yeah. It's really normal to freak out seeing your first boyfriend/longtime-partner happy with her ex-girlfriend-soon-to-be-girlfriend-now! My gosh! Wanted to crush them really! And come to think of it, that girl used to be my friend whom I told how much I love my EX, and yet she ended up with him againh?!! Huh? You really have to choose people whom you have to trust. People may stab you in the back in the nearer future, just like her. lols. HAHAHAHAHA!
@Mirzan (19)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
You should open your heart though. because even if he choose her over you that only means that he is not your soulmate. and it would be bad if you don't move on from your past relationship. Your lifetime partner maybe near you so it would be best to open you heart to someone who deserves you. You can hangout with your friends to lessen pain for now but don't close your heart
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Yeah. That's right. I shouldn't close my heart for future love. But as of now, am not ready yet. Sooner, I will be. Thanks :)
@agrim94 (3812)
• India
14 Dec 12
I can understand how you feel. Not everyone would love you back same like you loved him or her. Some people just do not even know what love is and all they think about is taking , taking and more taking. Love is blind so the person giving in relationship keeps on giving and giving till it is too much to tolerate. But do not worry, time is a real big healer and soon it would heal all your wounds. And like there is always day at end of night, a beautiful dawn is waiting for you.
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Yeah. I believed that there is sunshine waiting for this storm to be over. Thanks a lot :))))
• India
14 Dec 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about your stage, don't worry try your maximum to forget about the past as well as your BF. As you mentioned he is interested with his ex, there is no use in thinking about him. You are clear now, so only you take the proper decision of opening heart for another person
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
I'm not sure. I think I'm not yet ready for a new relationship at the moment. You know, it takes time to heal a broken heart.. And honestly, I am not that kind of person who uses others to forget someone. i know, i can do this. it just takes time. thanks :)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
love doesn't hurt, it is something that should make us happy, what makes us sad sometimes are broken promises, unfaithfulness, etc, so you just wait and see, you will fall in love again and be happy again, it is a sure thing. look forward to that day miss. wishing you all the love.
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
Yeah! You're right! He promise me everything yet he leaves me! It's really disappointing how I look forward to a future I thought exists, with him. :( I hope someday, I'll found that love you're referring to.. Thanks. :)
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
Time will heal your wounds. Believe me. I know you might think it is easy for me to say this but I have experienced this too a few years ago. I was so madly in love with someone and suddenly he chose some girl over me after all the things I did for him. At first I was really bitter about it and I couldn't get over it for months, even years. I cried every time I think of him. But after more than a couple of years, I moved on easily. Time will heal our emotional pains. It will become easier for us as time goes by. Now I have a new boyfriend and I fell in love like I've never been hurt before. I'm glad to say he was nothing like the old one.