I might be single again

United States
December 14, 2012 3:17am CST
When I told adrain my daughter was in my house he broke up with me. so,now I might be single again. I will not know for sure till later today. but,I have shed my last tear over him. I love the man with my whole heart. I am sitting here up all night and I have a whole lot to be thankful for and looking at the possibility of meeting new people is one of them. I am going to call him later to be sure if we are really done. If we are I am going to stop telling my friends no when they ask me to go out. I am going to enjoy myself and move on. I am going to change my tattoo regardless of us being together or not. we were to have matching ones and he never got his. so,I will go se about making flowers on this tattoo.
2 people like this
20 responses
• United States
14 Dec 12
I told you it was a bad idea when you asked us what we thought about it. You never seem to think beyond the moment when it comes to him. Why do you wait to see if HE says you are done? Just make up your mind and be good to yourself and be DONE! You can stop the drama by making a decision and just be done. Of course he will come crying back to you when he has second thoughts, but you should have the self respect to be done for yourself. He is manipulative and abusive and you refuse to see it for more than a minute. I would have been done last month with the crap he pulled about your daughter. I would have been done a couple years ago when he used you for a punching bag. I don't care what his excuse was. You tolerate his behavior just by giving him the power. Stop giving your self respect away and just be done with this never ending turmoil. My head is spinning from how you allow him to define your life.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Dec 12
I love this man so much it is killing me right now. but,I told him I want to just be friends now I am the bad guy and all I want is my child. that is not true. I want to be with a man who can live with me having a child in my life. he just wants me to turn her away and lay up with him like nothing ever happened. I am so done but now he is making me feel real bad. he was the one who walked away not me. now I am standig up for myself and my life. and this is what I get.
1 person likes this
• Kenya
14 Dec 12
Love, is not it funny how we let a total stranger in our hearts and lives and then one day things turn sour and we cannot be together anymore and our lives simply get wrecked for days, months or years. Then we spend days worrying over our lost love and losing our minds? I do not blame us women, its just that when we love, we give the men our all. I am just thinking, this man and your daughter who comes first? If he cannot stand your daughter then he is not worthy of you. Period. Let him go. Cry your all and release the hurtful emotions. If a man truly loves you he would appreciate your daughter. Enjoy being single and beautiful, the right man will find you and do not worry about being old, you are still loveable.
• Australia
15 Dec 12
I just read what PQ had to say and I had no idea all this was going on. Any man that would treat me like that would have been booted to the curb years ago. Anyone that would come between you and your daughter is disgusting. Remember family always comes first. Good riddance to him I say, I know you say you love him but I get the feeling he doesn't really love you and I'm sure if you stay clear of him for a little while you will start to make sense of what has been happening. Trust me you can't see what is happening when you're involved but when it's all over and done with you start to see things clearly. That's what happened to me anyway. You won't miss him anymore. Go out with your frinds and have a good time and do not under any circumstances let him back in your life
2 people like this
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
14 Dec 12
Maybe you should ask him too why was he discouraged of you having a daughter? He might be jumping to ideas that your daughter will become his responsiblity and maybe his not yet ready. Maybe you can still get back together and all he need for the moment is time to figure out the things between you and him. My suggestion is talk to him about your feelings and situation and not just ask if it's over. If his really hard on this,then maybe time for you to move on.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Dec 12
I already know what the problem is he does not like my daughter and he wants me to let her stay out of my house. he told me if I bring her abck he was leaving and never coming back in my house again. but,I never thought he meant that I could not help my daughter find a shelter to go to. and to be honest he did not even listen to me while I was talking to him. he just talked and made me go up stairs. he was not trying to reason with me at all. but,I did tell him a while ago that there is no way my duahgter was never going to step foot in my house again. and he said I know that. well this showed me that he wants me to choose him over my daughter. and I just want him to take time out to talk to me once more. so,I can kow for sure what he wanted me to do with my child when she came to me and wanted to talk to her mother. that is all I want from him. I am more than ready to have a decent man in my life who will be reasonable and talk things out and not just get mad and run away.
1 person likes this
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
14 Dec 12
Hard and painful to realize the man you love is not the person you think he is. If I were in your shoes, I'll also let him go. There will be someone who's better than him. He should realize how great you are as a mother and appreciate for what you did to your daughter. He should see what a great mom you will be to his kids, but he don't, maybe all he think is his happiness. So much better to move on.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Dec 12
There is no man worth being abused. This is abuse. Threatening to leave you every time you reach out for your daughter is blatant abuse. I hope you will have the common sense to not let that man back into your life. You let him back in every time he leaves you. When us enough going to be enough Gifts? Adrien seems to define you as a person, and that is due to a poor self image, I believe. If you didn't give him that power over you, you wouldn't keep putting up with it. You do the same with your daughter. I'd help your daughter, as a mother, but I would not allow her to manipulate you or disrespect you. You seem to be codependent on adrien and Kay. Life is grand as long as they are happy. As soon as they aren't happy with you, life sucks again. You give them this power over you. Read your own discussions over the last year and you will see it too.
2 people like this
@Arieles (2474)
• United States
14 Dec 12
Wow! You work things out with your daughter and Adrian does this to you. He just up and left? Packed up in one night and left? Seems like he would be supporting your relationship with your daughter. I love your attitude though, pick up and move on. Fix that tattoos, and get some flowers on there. If you really are done with him, you will be able to meet someone new who will support your decisions and stand behind you and be a united front. I know you will let us what is going on, so we can support your decision whatever it may be.
2 people like this
@Arieles (2474)
• United States
14 Dec 12
Any man that will come between you and your relationship with your kids is not worth the time. When things go sour, you have your family. No matter what, your family will always be there for you and vice versa. I would think he would understand this. Family too, should support your decisions and give you free reign to learn from the mistakes you make. I hope this situation will work out for the best for you whatever it may be.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 12
I am hoping if we are really done that I can find a man who will love me for what I have to deal with. I am happy to say that I am going to be fine either way.. I have people all around me that love me and want to really see me happy. and if that means mending this relationship with my daughter than so be it. I know there are some who would say I am stupid. but,I can't imagine them living the life I have lived these past few years. I am looking forward to the new year with or without a man.
1 person likes this
@gilenie (190)
14 Dec 12
so sorry to hear giftsandbagscom.maybe he is not the right man for you, cos if he really loves you he will accept your daughter, all in you. I'm sure in time there will come a time you meet the real caring loving man that you really deserve Good Luck.
• United States
14 Dec 12
I will get what ever god has for me. I will keep my head up and take what ever I need to for me to move forward towards the new year.
@Angelpink (4022)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
So sorry for that news. If a man loves you , i believed he must also love the people whom you loved. Maybe he got reasons , then let him . Respect must always be there. I am so impressed with the manner you deal with it ! Seems you are not affected by your emotion. You managed to carry it with happiness though that is so painful ! If that happens to me , i don't know where to find myself now. You are so positive in life , very admirable attribute . Keep it up and may you find the real man ! I am proud you being a best mother , you sided your daughter's side. God bless your family !
2 people like this
• United States
14 Dec 12
People told me that I should let my daughter live on the street because she is a very nasty person and so much worse. but,I really think if they lived my life they would work their hardest getting their child back on the right track. she is no angel and god knows I am not either. thanks for your sweet response.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
14 Dec 12
I am sorry to hear, but more sorry that for some reason you are not ready to go on if it comes to your daughter. Seems to me you have still a lot to learn. You will let her break you down in every way, exactly the same way she is doing to herself. So I guess you both are the same. Did you ever read back all the messages you wrote in the past year? How come you are not able to build a life for yourself? Your yes is not yes.. your no is not a no. I hope you will make it.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Dec 12
I can't do anything about him not wanting to be with me. I was simply trying to talk with my daughter and he broke up with me. If that is what he wants I can't force him to stay. I am going to have to live my life one way or the other. When I tried to talk to him he would not listen to me.
@pomwango (1355)
• Kenya
14 Dec 12
if it was mean't to be it will work out if not be strong and move on no matter the tears and pain but you are at a crossroad and when forced to make a choice there is no other way out.i wish you the very best.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 12
If I have to make choice I choose my daughter. lol have a great time mylotting welcome as well.
@cobalt20 (1321)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
Hi giftsandbagscom, so you are single now and old. Are you not feel aching about putting your tattoos? Tattoos can cause you tetanos someday. I am concern about you.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 12
I will know for sure later today. If I am i am on a new road to happiness.
@asweetie (1188)
• India
14 Dec 12
I am really sorry that you have to go through the trauma. I have come back to this site after couple of years, so I really do not know about what happened in your past but no break up is good and all break up are painful. Good thing is you are taking it very sportingly and are ready to live your life to full. Love your attitude. I am sure you would have a great life moving forward.
1 person likes this
@agrim94 (3811)
• India
14 Dec 12
Hi gift sand bags , I am sorry that your Boy friend has broken up with you. But I don't understand why would he break up with you if your daughter is at home? I am sure you are going to have a very good time meeting new people. As I always say time is big healer and with time your heart would stop aching and you would look back with no hurt and only fond memories.
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27792)
• United States
22 Dec 12
Things like that happen in relationships. I have been in a situation like that. It might not mean anything. He might just be angry and it might pass. I know the feeling believe me. Just give it some time.
• Philippines
22 Dec 12
I admire you being a strong lady. well If he truly loves you ,He will accept you for who you are totally.Quite surprising your daughter is just an issue. I am a product of broken family when my mother abandoned my father. my stepfather court him we are 2 then with my sisters. and he accept and treat us a real daughter after now. and I saw many couples with such situation too even to my ex brother-in law. when he married her wife her wife have different kids already from different men.and they leave together,and he is the one who provide the needs of her daughter although they also have their own kids they been treated equally.Only few man such as adrain have such kind of attitude.I am sorry that you met a man like that. I wish for you that by next year.You will meet your right man and who will treat your daughter too as his own.I wish to both of you happiness in life too. May this 2013 be a goodluck!
@artemeis (4069)
• China
16 Dec 12
Sorry to say what you might not like to hear but let me help you consider this to be well meant. I notice that you are more than ready to move on and be single once again and I wonder if you should accept him back at all. There seems to be some really unresolved issues that is affecting the both of you and they seem to be driving a deep wedge into the relationship. These issues does not seem to go away and I wonder if it would be the very ones that will break the relationship again. I am one believer that people will never change for the sake of anyone and any relationship unless they willing accepts it. I felt you have given this man enough and that perhaps a parting is really necessary for the good of the both of you. Coming back with those issues will be like bringing back an improved unexploded IED which will eventually blow up on both your faces again. Sometimes parting ways is another way of loving a person truly.
@shaggin (39625)
• United States
16 Dec 12
Haha right after Scott left me I felt like covering my entire body in tattoos because he wasent around to complain about it. I didnt worry about how he felt about my tattoos when we were together its just he would complain about it all the time and it was my body my choice weather he liked it or not.
@valerievy (162)
• Guam
15 Dec 12
I hope the guy learns to love your daughter to the same degree that you love her and are willing to put up with whatever situation she is facing. No one is perfect, and you are a great mother for still taking her into your home regardless of how bad or nasty other people, including that guy, thinks of her. Because at the end of the day, she is still your daughter. He needs to accept her as family as she is yours. If he really loves you, he needs to love your daughter because she is a part of you. I hope you work things out, not only necessarily with him but with yourself as well. Maybe you also need time to assess your situation and if this guy sees eye-to-eye with you.
• Philippines
15 Dec 12
I'm so sorry for that, that only means he doesn't love you at all. A man who loves a woman must love everything and accepts everything that she has. He must support you and vice versa. Well for me it's not a good idea to call him and check if you are really through but if you have decided to call him them it's up to you. Breaking up with you because of that reason is too shallow. I salute you for making steps to move on, Just be happy with your daughter and spend time with her I know that the love of your life will come the least you expect it. Don't give up on love or meeting other people, just be careful on choosing whom you gave your heart. :)
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
14 Dec 12
It's good to be single because you get to do the things you want to do without having to let someone know about it. I hope you will have a very merry Christmas with your family.
@trisha27 (3498)
• United States
14 Dec 12
It sounds to me like he is playing games when he doesn't get his way he breaks up with you. You shouldn't have to deal with stuff like that, worry that the smallest decisions you make in your life, he's going to leave you. Who needs to go through that. You don't need the stress, so if he wants to leave let him leave, I'd be like don't let the door hit you on the way out. You should go out and have fun with your friends, and forget him. Who knows maybe you'll run into someone who will treat you way better then he has and you'll forget about Adrian. You'll be like Adrian who? But anyway, go out and change that tattoo why not, he never got his anyway and he broke up with you so who cares. Flowers sound like would be a nice little addition.
• India
14 Dec 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this. Hope he will be back soon. I wonder why he don't realize your motherhood feelings? I know you are loving him so much, most of your topics shows it clearly. He will realize your real love and come back to your place soon and my wishes for it
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
14 Dec 12
adrien seems controlling and altho you have made excuses for him im sure most of have not forgotten some physical abuse. sure kk has issues but she is your daughter and as you poiinted out in a discussion some of her issues may be a result of you not on meds when she was a child. regardless, if he loved you hhe would be supportive and not add to the peroblem.