Why is it so easy for me to talk online than in person??

United States
December 18, 2012 9:57pm CST
I don't understand why I can come online and talk about all my problems. But,in real life I try to stay to myself and be all alone. I talk to bj and I always talk to adrian. I can say some things to my mother as well,because we are so close. but,the real deal is when I come here I feel so free to share with all of you. some people are not always kind to me and that still does not bother me. I can come here with just about anything and it makes me feel like I told my best friend what was bothering me. Tonight,I had words with someone about my being online talking about my business. and I had to say that I feel closer to people here then them in my real world. some people here I knew for 6 years and they are my extended family. no matter how they feel about me this is how I feel about them. I can't live without mylot in my life. If I were kicked off this site it would effect me in a very bad way. I really don't know anyone who loves mylot like I do. not saying no one loves mylot. but,i can go without hours of sleep just making myself happy. Once I see my friend from around the world are here I will stay even longer. My mother loves hearing about other people from here and I can't wait til I can get her a computer so she can join this site. I talked about it one time too many and bj joined. now she is here and enjoying herself as well. mylot is a great place to come and share your life. thanks for reading my post. If you saw me in some places you would not believe how quiet I would be.
4 people like this
20 responses
• St. Peters, Missouri
19 Dec 12
I'm like you. I'm very quiet. I don't talk much. But here, I'm not afraid of making mistakes or stating my opinion. I think it has to do with being faceless. Nobody here knows me in person. Even if we did happen to meet, chances are they wouldn't know me. I'm even more outspoken when I don't use a picture. So they're just talking to someone/something named StLouisMetroTutoring. It's easy to distance myself from who I am online. Physically, I can walk away whenever I want. There is a physical distance that doesn't exist in real life. Just my opinion, I think being relatively unknown is what makes the difference.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164486)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Dec 12
hi STLouisMetroTutoring I was wondering if you like me get a bit antsy when someone I barley know crowds up too close to m . It really bothers me'and once thie rather pushy resident got right up against my cheedk and kept askikng me when I was gloing tol dinner and telling me its four o clock.I was standing under the darned clock.After so much heckling I burst out"let go of me. do not to uch me," Then I was totally embarrssed as everyone in line for money was staring at me.but she did let go of me and stepped back. I felt awful for having burst out like that.I like people as a rule bu t not in my face. loll.
• United States
19 Dec 12
I don't like people all in my face either hatley, stlouis,I think what you siad makes me think alot about how it is for me as well.
• St. Peters, Missouri
19 Dec 12
I hate it! I need my space.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (18031)
• United States
19 Dec 12
I'm much like you. I tend to keep to myself about things and am very quite in person. I'm very talkive online with people I know and don't know either.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Dec 12
That seems like the best way for me to get things out of me. I like being alone some times as well. Like now I am up alone and it feels great.
@ShyBear88 (18031)
• United States
20 Dec 12
I know I can talk about anything with my husband but there are lot of times that I need someone from the outside to hear what I have to say and get there point of view even when I hate hearing what they have to say. When I get my alone time no matter when it is weather I can or can't sleep I call it my much need me time.
@Lovegreen (376)
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
Because we don't personally know each other g&b, otherwise we would be shy to open up.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Dec 12
I am not really too sure about this. I do get what your saying though. nice to see you arund tonight. welcome to mylot. and thanks for stopping in to read my posts. I saw you on the other one a few minutes ago. take care.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
19 Dec 12
LOL, OMG, your laugh will rattle the trees in a forest, its so loud.. But I do know what you come on here an talk about everything and thats ok because you feel this forum is a family for you for the last 6 years. I do know that most of your post about certain issues that you have talked about to me already,,,so I feel no need to response on here.. I am happy you have something to occupy your mind at times... Now back to some of the stuff you post...I know my first week here I read a post that you posted about..'WHY IS THERE ROCKS IN MY OLIVES" and I came next door to see what the heck you were talking about..to my surprise you were talking about the pits in your olives...Well I thought this was a sight for jokes....LOL But it took you a long time to convince me to join and I am happy to have spent my first year here at mylot...thanks mylotters for being so nice...
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Dec 12
if I did not feel retarded then I sure do now. LOL You are funny.. rocks..
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
19 Dec 12
That the same feeling I had when I found out you were calling the pits in the olives, rocks...LOL
@Hatley (164486)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Dec 12
hi gifts I am a lot like that too. I can write here and share with all my many friends with no problem.But when people talk to me I am really quite shy. I have grown to feel like I know you to a large extent and have always respected your warmth. I can talk freely to my son and to my best friend Nelda whom i h ave known for years.She bought me a head scarf tonight as we were out shopping and the wind is freezing cold here in S outhern California only 40 out and supposed to get close to freezing tonight. Glad it does not snow here.44 years ago it snowed here but all of it melted. my son was in kindergarten then. lol I guess you could sa y we are shy Gifts with people we do not know well. at least I know I am.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Dec 12
I am shy towards people I don't feel good around as well. It will also be like that if someone takes me out some where.
• United States
20 Dec 12
Just was reading your reply and that is cold for South Cali! It is around the teens here though in north part. Thought I would pop in and also say Hello Hatley! I've missed you!
• Canada
19 Dec 12
I think it's easier to talk on line because in forums like this, posters are somewhat anonymous, while when you're speaking to someone in person, you're face to face with them, and there's not a lot of hiding who you are. Also, on line you can find people with common interests, rather than being limited to the folks around you.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Dec 12
Plus,I really don't like people in my house all that much. I think it keeps me from getting involved in other people drama.
• United States
20 Dec 12
I am the same, I don't do well on the phone usually either. I am not a skilled speaker even among those I know.
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
31 Jan 13
hi, in my self i can talk to a person in real or face to face and even in online,maybe it because i am not that shy type person when it comes in conversation and aside from that i will be open minded too,maybe it will depend for me if that person is actor or celebrity maybe i will feel not easy to talk to them.
@Arieles (2474)
• United States
20 Dec 12
In real life people interrupt you, they never let you finish a sentence so you can't complete a thought. They criticize your opinion or they try to talk over you. They don't value you as a person, so pretty soon you learn to keep your mouth shut. It's not that your shy or bashful, you just don't want to appear rude (although they have no problem interrupting you). When we are on sites like mylot, we can complete our sentences, we get to finish those thoughts without seeming like a bumbling idiot. People can't interrupt you, or cut you off in the middle of a deep though. If someone doesn't agree with you there is always someone else that does. That is wonderful your Mom is going to join the site too. It will help keep her actively involved in something, and it really does take your mind off your own troubles. Great topic, thanks for posting this one Gifts.
@echoforever (5192)
• United States
20 Dec 12
There are a lot of reasons for feeling this way. Whether it is because of our low self esteem or opinion of ourselves or something else. Its healthy that we have somewhere like myLot to freely express ourselves without a lot of stress. That is how I feel when I am sharing here. I feel no stress and I enjoy sharing my opinions. I haven't felt discriminated against in some ways that the real world somtimes bears down on me. Even that though could just be my opinion of what people think of me. It can all be quite confusing huh?
@myfb2009 (8304)
• Malaysia
20 Dec 12
Gifts, same like you I can express myself much better in here than in person. When talk in person with my friends and relatives, i tends to feel the need to be careful with my words. But in here, i feels wonderful able to share and learn from others without the careful feeling. Maybe that's the problem with a shy person like me. By the way, I am trying my best to be an open person in reality as well.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
20 Dec 12
I can see it, Gifts. We've seen all your trials and heartaches in here and that is good for you, you know, expressing our feelings can be the first step towards solutions to existing problems. I applaud you for being so brave in coming out with your very personal struggles. I still have not reached that level of bravado. I am still keeping a huge part of my life private although I have already shared tons of myself here. I think we're all doing fine. Keep it up! Cheers!
@lacieice (2065)
• United States
19 Dec 12
it's because you are invisible and anonymous. It's the same as people who can talk more and express themselves better to a stranger than a friend. You have a layer of protection around you because no one really knows who you are. It's the same as, for instance, in a chat room on Pogo. People act really weird, mean, and evil at times, because no one knows who they are. Not that you do that, its just an example of the results of being invisible. You feel safe.
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
19 Dec 12
I kinda similar in that way , I talk about things online that i wouldn't really talk about normally to my friends . I also share different things here than I do on face book to my friends . I dont know maybe its because I dont really know anyone here I can just talk and relax .
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
19 Dec 12
I hear what you are saying, whenever I have a problem, need advice, and support this is the first place I turn to, because I can be honest, open and find it so much easier to say what I want to say when I am typing. Yet in real life, I am a loner, I don't talk to anyone, I keep myself to myself and I have no confidence. Sometimes I wish I could practice what I preach, I give advice out to people, it comes from the heart, but when it comes to me, I just have no confidence offline. If you read my discussions and responses you would think I was full of confidence, when in fact I am totally the opposite, Mylot just gives me the opportunity to be the true me.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
19 Dec 12
There are somethings I can talk to here on mylot and there are somethings that I can talk with my friends. Then there is the third category that I can neither relate here or to my friends because they are so inclusive and yet I might get advise not related to the problem. I do not like going into specific detail as to what I do because it might give an idea of my real name, real address, and where to find me. So I usually give my city since it is large or the general area like in the north or south area but not specifics. I have to get on mylot every day, but not for hours st a time.
@BigMoney25 (1083)
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
Maybe you lack interpersonal skills or something. I don't know but it's all about how comfortable you are to release your feelings or talk about them. So goodluck my dear friend.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
Hello, gifts! I also feel the same way in terms of opening up myself. I find it easier to write what I feel than saying it in front of a person. And during those times that I have not known Mylot yet, I would just write down my feelings on a piece of paper. And when I am done pouring out everything I feel, I throw the paper in the bin. I would want somebody to listen to me when I feel like it, but I do not want to be a burden on any of them. So, Mylot indeed has become a favorite spot of people who finds it easier to just type in what they feel and not afraid of being rejected. Well, there could be a few who would not be really interested to take part on that discussion. But then, it is all worth it to pour out the emotions. It is a wonderful feeling to have taken out the load from your shoulders.
@AkamaruKei (5218)
• Malaysia
19 Dec 12
I also a type of quiet person. You see i talking to much here but in my real life i just always silent. I feel very shy and nervous to talk with other people especially someone i dont know. That why i dont have a lot of friend in my real life but in online life i have a lot of friend.
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
19 Dec 12
Sounds like me gifts. :) I can't express much in person. That is why when I re-discover myLot, I stay here whenever I can. I have a hard time sharing myself to my friends. That's because others see me as a happy go lucky type of person. Some see me as their listener while some friends are judgemental. I like writing and I used to write my thoughts in a journal. Now that I have myLot, it is here that I share what's on my mind. I like the thing that my thoughts are being responded just like here in mylot. But I can't be active here like you. It seems to be that you are here 24/7, . That makes you one of the most visible member here. Happy Lotting and Happy Holidays!
@devonavis (1857)
• Greece
19 Dec 12
You are saying that you are a quiet person yet you are the number one 'poster' here in myLot. It's like you start more than 20 discussions everyday, full of ideas, insights, and sharing experiences. Well, I think there is a very big difference between chatting online, especially to strangers, and chatting in person. For me, when I chat with someone online, I feel more brave and I do not usually care what will the person think of me, unlike when I'm talking with someone in person wherein I try my very best to show my good side and trying to create a very good impression. But I personally think that whether online or in person, it's almost the same. The only main possible difference are the 'feelings'. Did I make any sense? Haha sorry if I didn't.