Is in love marriage the parents concern is important?

Love marriage or arrange marriage - Both marriages are good but parents concern is must
India
December 23, 2012 1:11am CST
I think if the persons falling in love and they decided about getting marriage then they should tell all these to their parents. Dont hide from parents and tell all like brave person and ready to face the parents reaction and parents should also consider the child choice if problem then they should inquiry about it. Now a girl run with any boy no thing about his background. After some days when she check his background and found his partner is robber or sweeper or any other than leave immediately from divorce. But if men is not good then they kill the wife because she want to leave. To save our life from all these I think parents concern is important in both marriages in arrange or love. What you think? only in arrange marriage parents concern is must not in love marriage.
4 people like this
12 responses
@Sreekala (20669)
• India
24 Dec 12
My dear friend, Parent’s blessing is very necessary for each and every step in children’s life. Marriage is considering as a turning point and starting another important life, so the consent and blessings should be there. Regarding the love marriage, you agree love is blind and young boy or girl may not be matured enough to realize the consequences, they only want to live their life together. Once they started their life they came to know the difficulties. If parents and relatives are there to support they can easily solve the problems. Another thing, each and every parent has their own expectations with their kids. Naturally they wish their kid’s marriage life start with their consent and blessing. Moreover, they wish to find out a good match for their son/daughter. One day they came to know that their son/daughter run away from home it should be shocking and devastating. I would like add one story here, as you said that if parents are involved then the marriage life will be prosperous and happy, there is no guarantee like that dear. It is all depends on our luck. I knew a girl who was ready to marry a boy who is handicapped but rich and living in other country with his parents. The proposal came though some relatives. On the first instant girl was bit hesitant but her relatives brain washed her finally she too agreed and ready to sacrificed her life. The marriage life lasts for 13 days only the boy and his parents left to other country by promising to take her with them very quickly. On the first few days there was communication from boy’s side slowly it reduced and finally it stopped. At last she got a divorce letter from boy’s side without mentioning any particular reason. Just imagine the girl’s life, she is young, pretty, educated etc etc, the only mistake she done to agree to marry a person with the consent of family and relatives. Since the boy’s whole family is in another country tracing was not so easy.
• India
24 Dec 12
Ohhh my how the cruel family you are right dear even after parents concern the divorce are made but less. Because most of the parents search everything about boy and his family. But few percents depend upon our luck. Love marriage is also good but I want to say when person fall in love no fear then they should not fear to tell all these to their parents and ready to face all situation. Now how is she? Get remarry or not.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (20669)
• India
24 Dec 12
It may be her bad luck dear. The proposal came through an aunt who knows the boy's family well. But nothing could be done when they demand divorce, as papers send from India returned; they never accept any communications from here. She lost her precious years. Now she married again and living happily.
• United States
23 Dec 12
I gather that you are from India, or some country similar to that, and I know that in those countries and cultures many people still believe in arranged marriage. Now, I can't tell anyone what to do, but I know that some arranged marriages aren't that great. My cousin is Filipino-American (his mom is Filipino and his dad is American), and you can tell that my cousin's wife does not love him, then again, my cousin is not a lovable person. Now, I would NEVER want to be in an arranged marriage. I have a boyfriend with whom I love very much, and I am willing to fight for a future for the both of us. I want the both of us to live a happy life where we are free to choose and free to do what we want to do. We do our best not to hold anyone back. We let each other choose and respect most of the choices that we make. There are times where we get into little arguments and spats, but the making up afterwards is the fun part. We argue and then we make up by making out afterwards. It's great. It keeps the passion in our relationship. That's another thing... you need PASSION in your relationship, and without it your relationship tends to be boring. You want to argue and disagree about things from time-to-time because it makes the relationship interesting. When you are in love with a person, no matter what you feel about them, you love them, and it will show if you are passionate about them.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
23 Dec 12
I agree to your views. Here are things I can say relating to relationship leading to a successful marriage. There are 2 parties involved in a relationship- man and woman. To be in a relationship both must have true and sincere love for one another. How they came to know each other doesn't matter. If the marriage is arranged as is true in some cultures, the pair should not go directly into marriage. They must passed the courtship stage to observe each other's likes and dislikes, strength and weaknesses. If the pair believe they are okay after a considerable amount of courtship time then they now can plunge into marriage. For me courtship is only a part of the total process of a successful married life. When the pair is already living as husband and wife, many things are still to be considered: relationship with in-laws and relatives, personal vices engaged in by the spouses, etc. To harmonize all these things into a good marriage, understanding, patience and all virtues relating to oneness of a marriage bond must be observed by both husband and wife.
• India
24 Dec 12
Yes rogue my friend here mostly prefer arrange marriage but now love marriage is also increasing but I think both marriage is good but the concern of parents is must for protect the future problem. @nicanoor you are right both must have true and sincere love for one another but not in new generation not exist trust and understanding in between husband and wife and therefore divorce cases are increasing.
@anil02 (2886)
• India
23 Dec 12
Hello I am agree with you. in love marriage one should be consult with parents and also seek their persmmison. Parents are always want best for the children. They are experience one. They also have some dream for the marriage of children. I say it arrange love marriage.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Dec 12
Yes sir if the person not fear from love they why fear to share with parents they should ready to face the reaction of parents. The person can perform the love with arrange marriage.
@dpk262006 (56094)
• Delhi, India
23 Dec 12
Hi! Yours is a very good suggestion. However, those who choose to go for love marriage forget about the right and wrong and feel afraid to tell their parents. Their minds stop working or do not work in a logical direction to visualize that what will be there future after marriage. Thus, they face the music after marriage.
• India
24 Dec 12
You are right dpk the person when fall in love then their eyes is closed never thing about future no think the boy is good or not or the girl is also good or not. If they share with parents and convey them means the parents may be do the inquiry.
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
23 Dec 12
surekha: I am of the view that in love marriage consent of parents is a must. many love marriages done with the parents consent results in problem. it is true in arranged marriage also problems are there but in love marriages without the knowledge or consent of parents problems are more.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Dec 12
Uncle I agree with you parents concern in love marriage is most important because when the child fall in love they not think about future and not check how is their partner but if the problem is arise then nobody supports them if parents is not with them.
@mranjaan (137)
23 Dec 12
Yes of course, parent concern in both marriages, love and arrange. But sometimes parents dont show their concern even in arrange marriages. In this respect their thinking is typical, and that is a girl should face her in laws, and married life problems with patience weather she is victim or sufferer.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Dec 12
Nice agree with me and you are some time parents are not ready to giving the permission but the child should try to convey them. If no then they can get court marriage so life will safe.
@fantabulus (4006)
• India
23 Dec 12
Talkative women your thought is good I also agree with you on this topic parents permission or concern is necessary in both marriages. Even both the marriages are risky because now in arrange marriage also divorce cases are increasing.
1 person likes this
@berting600 (3461)
• Philippines
23 Dec 12
Arranged marriage is not already practiced here in the Philippines,unless you are a member of a wealthy family,who wishes to have a bright future,then arranged marriage still exist,but today it is not very important to arrange such relationship,because most arranged marriages end in a bad destiny.No one ever dream their marriage could end like that,because most dream of a happy marriage life,to be successful and have lots of investments to ensure family life is secure all through their relationship.Once a relationship starts to grow,both sides are also busy investigating the each ones capacity to raise a family in the future.The man would ask help from friends about the background of his girlfriend,so was the girl likes to know more about the background of her suitor.That is why their relationship could reach 4 to 5 years,because lots of things can still be discovered especially the real attitudes can be studied,so are their willingness to adjust when they are living together once they are already married.The parents are also studying both sides if they are compatible to each other.The parents should give their consent upon asking the hands of their daughter once marriage was already to call for their acceptance to give clearance of approval.
1 person likes this
@nat1_ong (150)
• Guam
26 Dec 12
When you really know that your special someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. It is necessary for the parents to know. I have a cousin, who didn't tell his parents that he already got married. And my uncle has been very upset about this secret marriage. In my opinion, it is a respect to parents when we don't hid our marriage plans. It is heartbreaking to know that my uncle in this situation is not informed. Every parent has a dream that his children get married with every relative to know and it not against his will. Like in a perfect time.
@prashu228 (25805)
• India
23 Dec 12
Good one surekha. I think marriage without parents consent have to face some problems. Especially in our country where we have some followings so we should respect them. But today many youngsters think that parents will definitely agree after they get married or when they have baby so they are blindly going for against parents wish. I have seen some people like that. And it does happen parents are forgiving them after they have baby. To tell you the truth some people are even planning to have baby soon after marriage(love marriage) so that their parents will forgive and join them at least for the baby.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
23 Dec 12
Nowadays parents have little say in their children choices of life partners. Parents are only there to guide them. Parents can't say no on their children's choices as they are themselves adults and are able to make their own judgement. Parents as usual are always concerned of their children but when it comes to the subject of love we parents can do nothing to stop two people madly in love. The children today seem to know better than their parents and interfering in our children love affairs is only inviting problems.
@ShyBear88 (17041)
• United States
23 Dec 12
When it comes to marriage parents shouldn't be involved at all unless the child is going to get hurt physically not emotionally. My parents are no involved in my relationship with my husband yes we got married quickly but I'm an adult and can make choices for myself I'm not a child the day I turned 18 that made me and adult to do as I want when I want. Some times you as and adult need to make mistakes and some times that means a marriage. Now maybe where you live if this happens something bad will happen but in the US if you get married and don't want to be married you can get and nullment or just get and divorce with not threat to your own life. The only people that have that as a threat is those that are in an abusive relationship.