Why did she lie?

Penrith, Australia
December 26, 2012 8:33am CST
My mom just gave my little bro 60 dollars for no reason at all but she told him not to tell me about it, I found out about it anyway because he slipped. I asked my mom about the money and she denied that she gave my bro money at all. I don't know why she had to lie about it. It's Not like I'd get mad because she gave him money. I just don't get why she had to instruct my little bro not to tell me about it and why she lied about it. Right now, I feel do bad at the moment, she made me feel like I was stupid. What to do?
3 people like this
12 responses
@artemeis (4073)
• China
27 Dec 12
There are a lot of reasons for what your mother is doing and since you are not very particular about what your mother had done I would suggest that you look at it from another reasonable angle. If you were to ask me, I would suggest that your mother is using this opportunity to teach your baby brother about keeping secrets. Secrets as you understand is strictly between 2 parties and no other. All of us will at some point of time encounter such moments where we will be entrusted with some of it in words or deeds and we will just need to keep it away from anyone. How one keeps it is not inbuilt, it needs to be learned. We may need to pretend or play dumb or ignorant without having to lie. Obviously, this little "experiment" failed, including the part on playing "dumb" when you learn something "privileged". In life, you don't get to lay it on the table every time or any time you want. The times where a hesitant silence is better than assuming things coming onto the scene hot headed. I don't think any loving mother would love their love their children any lesser. I see there's something for everyone to learn here.
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
I actually feel so happy reading your response. This actually made me smile, really, thank you for this. I've never thought about it that way and I'm really glad you opened me up to this. Take care, have a happy holiday. :)
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4073)
• China
30 Dec 12
I am happy that I am able to let you understand what I have said. Life has many faces and I know what it is like when we corner ourselves into a corner when we are not being objective. Also, I am coming from the perspective of a loving mother myself and not forgetting that you will be one yourself, one day. We need to be objective and resourceful or we will be shutting up ourselves and from all the people around us. Just remember this when you encounter problems, in every matter, there are 2 sides to a coin and in relationships both sides of your hand are flesh and blood. When you are positive, happiness will never be a distance away from you. Take care and all the best for 2013.
• China
27 Dec 12
I think maybe your mum believe you will be in jealous when you found you were not offered the money but your brother was. I really suggest you just let the incident leave your mind coz it is really meaningless to track the reason from your mum. Maybe you have a wide imagination that make you think your mum's behavior unfair. If that is the real case, i also think you should cool your mind, coz it is so common for a family breeding several kids that the parents may have their own preferrence and inclination among the kids unconsciously. However, to keep a kind relationship in the whole family and prevent someone getting hurt, the parents usually show their preferrence secretly, so lies are inevitable. So if you are the elder one, you really need to be considerate and try to be understandable. It's just a small case, do not let it ruin your good mood.
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
You're right, your response actually opens my mind to a lot of things, I see it's pretty common with a lot of families as well. Knowing that I'm not alone actually already helps a lot. So thank you for your response, I'm actually trying to be the better person now by letting this pass. Thank you for your concern and your response, happy holidays
• United States
27 Dec 12
Wow, dont take it too seriously. She probably didn't want you to know, because she thout you would be jealous. That is not a big lie, all you have to do is to forget about it, and move one. Happy Holidays!
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
Your response is simple but it has everything essential on it. Although I'd really appreciate it if she just told me, you're right though about not making it a big deal. Thank you for your response, have a happy holiday
• United States
27 Dec 12
Wow idk what to say i mean its cool if she gave him money but to tell him dont tell you is just messed up. She could have told you herslef and said when i get enough i'll give you some as well. The messed up part is that she tried to lie about it
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
Thank you for trying to respond to my discussion. Your response is very much appreciated. :) right now I'm letting things pass cause I don't want to ruin the holidays for anybody. Anyway I hope you have a good one too, take care, happy holidays.
• United States
27 Dec 12
I see that you are only 20 years old, so I can also see why this might bother you that your brother got money and you didn’t. Yesterday was Christmas… I see that your post is 11 hours old, so maybe it was a Christmas present? I would not get too upset that she lied to you about it. Maybe she felt on the spot because she told your brother not to tell you. Maybe she could not afford to give you a similar amount of money. He might have asked her for the money for some reason. Sixty dollars is a lot of money to me, so I couldn’t afford to just give it for no reason. She must have thought he needed it or something.
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
Thank you for trying to view things through my eyes and empathize ng with me. I am feeling so much better now, thanks again for your concern, have a happy holiday.:)
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
26 Dec 12
Sometimes a parent can't afford to give to each of their children money. So, perhaps she felt he needed it and perhaps didn't feel that you did at that time. She is not centering your family around you. It was none of your business that your mother gave your little brother money and not any money to you at that time. It is also not personal, so don't take it personally. If she choose to ask your little brother to keep it quiet, she may have her reasons. Now, she will think twice before giving him money again. You may have ruined it for your brother. Your mother does not need to tell you everything. Nor does she need to explain anything to you. You are NOT stupid so don't think that you are. Just forget about it. Be grateful that your mother gave your little brother money, when perhaps he needed it. And just get back to loving your family. That's what you do.
• Greece
26 Dec 12
I would advise you just to forget it. Whatever your mother's reasons were for giving to your brother secretly are her business. It may seem unfair, and perhaps it is, but the main issue here is not money but relationships. It is important not to put your little brother in the middle of this situation, or to to make him feel bad because he got the money and you didn't. Parents are not perfect, they learn from their mistakes but they do love their children and deserve to be loved in return. Family peace is all important, it is mmore important than any rows over money. I'm sure your mother did not intend to make you feel stupid, so prove her wrong and be a wise daughter in this potentially disturbing situation.
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
Thank you so much for your response, you seem very experienced in this, I wish my mom were able to talk to me like this. Anyway I feel so much better now, I'm glad I've posted this up on mylot. And yes, I will do my best to be a better person, take care, have a happy holiday. :)
@deiusz (194)
• Indonesia
26 Dec 12
let it go. Dont think to much. Even in fact looks not fair for you and you want the answer. Will you pushing your mom or little bro to answering your questions? i dont think so, because if will, it will something wrong like get fight, with some complaint, do you want that? because i dont. Just tell your little bro to spend it for something good, and with calm sounds of you, dont loud. You will know that your little bro will realise that you've loved him as family.
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
Thank you for your concern. You're right about not starting any arguments or confrontations, I wouldn't want to ruin the holidays for anybody,thanks for your response, have a happy holiday
@Wolf2012 (24)
26 Dec 12
Dear Friend...I don't know why your mom did like this, but anyway, I am sure that your mom love both you and your bro and you are equally important in the bottom of her heart. For you mentioned above, it's really nothing. Maybe your mom had sth.like "secret sorrow"...She didn't admit what she did doesn't mean that she doesn't love you,right? Pls belive your mom, and always...She LOVES you, forever...
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
I appreciate that you believe in my mom, yeah, she truly is a great person, maybe you're right about the hang-ups, every one has those, maybe I should just give her another chance. :) thanks for your response by the way
@liezel25 (292)
• Germany
26 Dec 12
Oh that's really unfair. Is there somethin your brother achieved that she just gave him some money. Don't feel mad about your mom, maybe there's a good reason why she did it. Lying is not good. I wonder why too, you better ask her personally, maybe youll know the reason..
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
I asked again but she denied again, I think I'm going to be the more mature person in this by letting it pass. Can't feel bad in the new years. Advanced happy new year by the way. :)
• Philippines
26 Dec 12
I suggest don't take such small things seriously. She has her own reasons why she didn't tell you. Everyone has his or her secrets to keep, hence I think its better if you move on and not get stuck on that bad feeling. You can ask your mom if it bothers you that much though. If you tell her that you felt bad, I think she'd tell you why she 'lied' :) Though IMO, its not that big of a lie ;)
• Penrith, Australia
29 Dec 12
Thanks for your advice, in some way you're right, I needed an eye opener and you gave me one, thanks. :)
@trisha27 (3497)
• United States
30 Dec 12
She has her reasons I suppose and maybe she didn't just want you to know about it. She probably thought that you would take it the wrong way or something like that. But anyway, I wouldn't worry about it and just forget about it.