kid(s) forces you to buy him something beyond your budget

@nicanorr (1789)
Philippines
December 26, 2012 5:10pm CST
Christmas session is almost gone. Christmas toys especially attract the interest of children. Meeting the needs of kids is quite hard. Some kids show tantrums, unlikely characters of bad manners especially when parents fail to buy them toys they want. Did this happen to your family? Share your experience.
5 people like this
14 responses
@ARIES1973 (9531)
• Legaspi, Philippines
28 Dec 12
My son wants me to buy him a motorcycle. That one was out of the budget considering that I just undergone a training this year. By the way, I already passed the exam nic. I told him to wait until I can be able to pay all our debts inline with that training and besides his father just bought a new motorcycle and I am still paying for it. We bought it on installment. I don't know how to handle this thing because he is always bringing it up. Although he is not into having tantrums. One thing I am afraid of buying him a motorcycle is that I am afraid of the consequences and not only of the amount. My son is already in his 2nd year college and going to 18 this January. Have a nice day!
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Never bend to his whim. Let him understand that buying another vehicle is beyond your budget. Inspire him to make good his studies so that upon landing a job he can have and met all his needs.
1 person likes this
@ARIES1973 (9531)
• Legaspi, Philippines
31 Dec 12
Thank you for your advise nic. I really appreciate it. Happy New Year!
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Happy 2013! Just want to share with you the joy and happiness we had on Christmas Day. It was truly a surprise and we never expected it. We DILG retirees were summoned to Catbalogan Provincial DILG office to attend the annual Christmas Day celebration. After an absence of 12 years, I saw the organization's workforce of young and energetic frontliners, besides the merrymaking and the eating we had.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (79835)
• Philippines
27 Dec 12
Lucky our daughter, now 22 year old, when she was a kid, never threw a tantrum. And she never insisted on a toy she would like to have when we are in the department store. Maybe that's because before we go to the department store, i would tell her lovingly that Mama's and Papa's budget is only few, so buying toys of expensive nature would mean that we will not be able to buy other necessities. Thus, she would say, just buy me Mama when you have the money already. And she would forget about it. She grew up with simple needs and wants.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
I see a child who grows up sound and well disciplined. It's all because she has an understanding and devoted parents. Laurels and happy new year!
@SIMPLYD (79835)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Thanks for saying that nicanorr. Indeed we are proud that we were able to raise our daughter well.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
1 Jan 13
I am truly delighted to hear this response. It's inspiring to say something good to parents who are doing their level best to raise kids upright.
@free_man (7337)
• United States
27 Dec 12
Hi Nicanorr and welcome to my lot. This would never happen to me if a child throws a temper tantrum with me I will walk away and let them scream and do what they will. If I or any of my siblings would have done this to my mother she would take you to the wood shed if you know what I mean! I think this is from parents not putting their foot down and making the child mind them. As it says in the bible spare the rod spoil the child! In other words if your the parent the child should know that they have to mind you.
@chiyosan (29496)
• Philippines
27 Dec 12
kids who do this, were all spoiled i guess, hence they think that their parents would give them anything they want when they throw tantrums just to shut them up. just like how dogs are trained, we should be able to discipline our kids as well... let them know nothing like that will get them what they want.. and that should all be very clear.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
I like and admire the way you discipline children regarding this issue. I think explanation is enough for children to realize the situation. I believe corporal punishment should have no part in this kind of training.
@Pegasus72 (1901)
30 Jan 13
We only use cash to buy presents with. We don't have credit cards. We also do not have TV so the kids don't ask for all that much. We saw a big different within the first year we didn't have a tv anymore. It has been a decade now with no Tv and we aren't missing it all that much.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Jan 13
It can only be assumed that a TV plays a big role in disciplining kids in your home as to proper acquisition of personal things. But the nest-door neighbor may have a TV set. Can your kids not see and be convinced of buying things seen from other TVs?
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
Christmas season or not, I would be seeing my kid to be upset if he doesn't get what he wants. But even though he would cry tears of blood, when I say NO, I definitely mean NO. I can be generous to anybody IF I have money. But when we are tight on the budget, I tell my kids to be thankful for what they have and not aspire for anything more than we can afford. Really it pains me not being able to give them what they want, but I think that what they need is what's important.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Expenditure follows priority. Tell kids to help you buy things in the order of priority. Seeing your budget cannot cope with all listed things, they'll learn to understand that not all things can be bought.
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
27 Dec 12
I notice some child forces their parents for purchasing which is not possible for parents beyond their budget but some are very understandable and they say okkk mom no problem I dont want to purchase you can purchase anything which you like or under budget for me. Some kids start crying if they not got the gift according to you but some are not different child different nature.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
You've a very keen observation. Really children's nature varies because of individual differences and many factors. Some can easily be influenced and understand money matters; they are good children while others insist on their whims and don't accept no for an answer. They're kids with bad taste and needs parental control.
@chiyosan (29496)
• Philippines
27 Dec 12
i am just glad that all my nieces and nephew have not been brought up to make tantrums. both the girls are lovely and they do tell us what they want, if my mom(their grandmother is off the budget as she always is) we try to still give the kids what they want after all its just once a year we are able to shop for the kids, but if it is too pricey, we tell the kids to pick another one which is better (and lower in price haha) the kids would be sad for a while, but then knowing how kids are.. you know they want something now, and could already be bored with it the next time they see something else. that is just how we manage the kids when going out shopping toys for them. ;)
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Understanding parents and kids are assets to society. They contribute much to the good of society. We need more of your kind. Keep it up!
27 Dec 12
This question need we take more time,to see the child like gift of which type.If do that,the question will not happen again.This is my exprience.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
I admire your response and would like to make yourself clear so we can understand one another. Say again.
@FrugalMommy (1447)
• United States
27 Dec 12
No, not at all. We bought some small things for my daughter for Christmas. She got a few plush toys, some books, new clothes, and a movie on Blu-Ray from us. My parents went overboard and bought her a bunch of things. She only opened about 1/3 of her presents yesterday. We kept asking through the day if she wanted to open another one. She said "No, I don't want another present." She was more interested in all the little things I put in her stocking than anything else! We brought all the unopened presents home with us last night. She opened three or four more today, but there are still a bunch under the tree. We're just going to let her open them when she wants to.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Your Christmas story of your daughter and her Christmas presents are pleasing to the ears. I wonder if the atmosphere is the same in all homes. Happy 2013!
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
27 Dec 12
We didn't let our kids watch a lot of TV when they were growing up. But it was a little hard when their friends would tell them about the expensive gifts that they received. I tried to find gifts that were really special but not expensive. And so, most times, my children got what they really wanted without expecting nor asking for really expensive gifts. I don't think Christmas is all about expensive gifts, so it goes against my principles, not just my budget to buy expensive gifts. We spend Christmas Day with our kids and play lots of games and enjoy each other company at the dinner table. Now that they are grown, I am sure that they understand that spending time together as a family is the best Christmas gift.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Ways to spend Christmas and New Years' time are aplenty, especially those that develop good family values, value of money and hard work and the feeling of contentment of what food and things the family can afford. Children must be able to realize the family's pecuniary limitation.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
27 Dec 12
My 18 year old, and 30 year old brothers took tantrums on Christmas. They had about 10 pages of I wants. They didn't get the whole 10 pages worth, so they took a fit. I am glad I had to work, then volunteer so I missed them. It gets annoying and shows the lack of parenting, responsibility, and immaturity especially at their ages.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
It's sad to note they are still parasites at such ages. They should learn to earn money and realize how hard it is to work for them.
@peavey (16640)
• United States
27 Dec 12
No. My kids never did that. We wouldn't have allowed it. Temper tantrums got them time out in their rooms, not whatever they wanted. There's no reason to let kids tell the parents what to do. They have parents for a reason and it's not to please their every whim. It's to teach them boundaries and what is acceptable and tantrums and wanting too much is not acceptable. Or it shouldn't be, anyway.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Never give way to their tantrums. To give bent to their whims and caprices is inviting danger. They may grow up problems not only to the family but likewise to society.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
26 Dec 12
None of my children will ever force me to buy beyond my budget. They all are still happy with what they get, no matter if it's second hand (used) or brand new. Partly the behaviour you describe is character but also it's the way you raise your children. Mine do know we have less money to spend. Which doesn't mean they never get what they want, but does mean we are way more creative (in making or searching for it). For example: my youngest wanted a furby as well. I bought her a used one by the internet for 2.50 euro! She loves it. They are allowed to make a list (birthday, Dec. 5th) but it's not said they will get everything (they know that). My son did not even make a list this year. My daughter did but there were (except for the furby) really small things on it. BTW if it comes to prices both never think in the way of asking expensive toys either. It reminds me of what my granny ones said about my cousins: how come they always pick out the most expensive and if they get it they don't like it.
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Hi, WakeUp...! The topic is open and pertains to no particular person. It's a common observation where some children in some families wring dry their parents when asking something. It's good for you to have obedient kids whom you can handle with ease and well. Keep up the good work.
@mariaperalta (19096)
• Mexico
26 Dec 12
Yes, thats the problem many have with kids and xmas. i think its wrong. But because of tv and media kids are kinda rain washed into asking parents for these expensive gifts. I blame the media for all of it,
@nicanorr (1789)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
I advise you to handle the situation with care. Let's not permit the whims and caprices of askers, kids to overwhelm us. Let's nip the problem right in the bud. If we submit to their unreasonable wishes, time will come when they'll do bad things to us and other people.