This is cruel.

Kenya
December 28, 2012 3:25am CST
I spent the holidays with my parents. They have been married for a very long time. They are in their late 50's. Things were going well. On this material day my mom left to do an errand. she was delayed and came home late in the afternoon. she quickly prepared some mashed potatoes and a piece of steak on the side. I must admit that the steak was tough. I can still remember how my dad behaved. After biting into the steak, he asked my mom if she had stolen the money to buy it. He said it was a waste of money, it would have been better if she had given him the money. He kept making disgusting chewing sounds telling my mom that she bought the meat because there was someone with teeth in the house(ME).He said that the steak was rubbish. He ate every piece on his plate. My mom is the bread winner and she pays all his bills. In all this my mom said nothing, she just kept eating. I could not stand it so I went to sleep. What would you have done if these were your parents?
3 people like this
10 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
28 Dec 12
I think this is cruel indeed. I could say that it would depend on my age what to say, but to be honest I always said my opinion. I would tell my dad he is a lousy.. a loser.. doesn't make an income and should be happy someone is willing to feed him at all. And if it comes to your mother.. if I were here I would keep my mouth shut at the first time. The next time I would dump his stuff (if he has any) in garbish bags outside and kick him out. Nobody needs a partner that stabs you in the back, makes you work like an idiot and also do the cooking and cleaning. What exactly is your dad doing whole day except for complaining? Unhappy you can be alone as well, you don't need a partner for that.
1 person likes this
• Kenya
28 Dec 12
wakeupkitty in my culture, respect is not earned. it is given no matter what. I cannot believe that my mom stomachs that. what about when they are alone,I had just visited. he has some cows that he keeps. The money he gets is for his pockets only. Thanks for stopping by
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 12
@wakeupkitty I completely agree with you. Everything you said is right on point. It is so sad that she was treated that way. Her mother does so much for the family and he can't treat her with respect. That is awful indeed. I think even in cases or cultures like that you still have to speak up at some point. After all he shouldn't be treating her that way.
• United States
28 Dec 12
oh and I forgot to add what is the point in them even having a holiday celebration if that is how a person is going to be treated? The holiday part obviously didn't mean anything to him because we wasn't being kind or considerate like he is suppose to be. People don't even realize that they contradict themselves.
@franseman (516)
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
As I can see you're 37. At that age I think (but that's someone from Europe talking here) you should stand for your mother. Tell your father that she did her best to prepare something eventho it was late. There is NEVER an excuse for such behavior as he showed.
1 person likes this
• Kenya
28 Dec 12
I wish it would work here franseman. in my culture, you can not talk back to your dad. Just sad. Thanks for stopping by
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
That's very sad indeed. You're absolutely right, i know nothing about your culture. Let's hope it will not happen again!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Dec 12
That is not a good scenario and I understand your sympathy for your mother. Your mother surely be proud of the care and love you have for her... Your father might be not totally bad. Well, I don't know him personally so I can't judge his character. Maybe his attitude towards has a reason. Maybe he was feeling worthless and that is the only way that he can burst his emotions or maybe it is because of getting old? Why don't you talk to your mother out of this and show your love for her and how you care...
1 person likes this
• Kenya
28 Dec 12
I see Your side mhaixCs10s and to an extent understand him. But why hurt the one person who is there for him no matter what? he had some good money come to him earlier in the month and my mom was not even concerned about that. She just lets him be. That's for sure I will show my mom all the love I can, Thanks for commenting.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
"why hurt the one who is there for you no matter what?" it is because we are letting that person to hurt us... We can't get hurt if we won't allow it. But to counter the question with another question... "why let the one we love hurt us?" it is because of the most overrated word 'love', for it is always the means to sacrifice and to suffer. It is beautiful but it can hurt us though...
• United States
28 Dec 12
I would have taken the meat from his plate and put it back in the pan and told him to cook it for himself. after that I would tell my mother not to cook his food any more. next tie he was looking t eat he would get up himself.
1 person likes this
• Kenya
28 Dec 12
giftsandbagscom, if that was possible in my culture, i would have done the same, the sad thing is he can get away with it. The following day, my mom prepared a special meal for him. I did not hear any thanks from him. Thanks for reading and commenting
1 person likes this
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
It must have hurt you so bad to be hearing those words coming from your father and just see your mom take all of them. I am so sorry you had to deal with that situation. I salute your mom for being courageous in making herself look fine when I know and you know that it has also torn he heart. It is hard to talk to your dad about the way she treats your mom. He would definitely tell you that it is none of your business. But what I can advice you is to just give love to your mom and be on her side. She may not have told you anything about what she has been going through after all these years. But just let her know that no matter what, she has you. I could be hearing harsh words from my husband, as well. And I am just not the type who would be wanting to exchange words. I'd rather keep silent most of the time. I have a 19 year old son who is sensitive about this. I know that he resents his dad whenever he sees me being treated that way. My son would say that he is mad at him sometimes. And he would say, that now he knows why I left a few years back. My son knows I am hurt, but I just tell him to just not say anything against his dad. He is still his dad no matter what. And whatever problems we have, it is only between his dad and me.
• Kenya
29 Dec 12
Hi Jenny That is what I do not understand, why does someone accept to be hurt continuously by the one meant to love you. I hope I never have to find out. it would kill me. You have a good son and you are a remarkable woman to exist in that situation.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
It is really tough to be in a situation. But as a wife and a mother, I try to be the "glue" for the family. And maybe that is just how your mother feels.
@NailTech (6890)
• United States
29 Dec 12
This culture you live in sounds like mine and i don't even live in your country. Plus it would have been the other way around with my dad doing the cooking, bread winning and my mom making the comments as such.It is a bad situation to be in and I'm in that too. Only the roles are reversed. My mom does do the cooking here however but if my dad was to say anything like what your dad said to your mother then all heck would break loose and more arguements so he knows better and never says anything more than half the time. Role reversal. I hate to hear and see of these things in any culture, it is abusive behaviour and he does it just cause he is male and can get away with it, very sad indeed. He is one of the worst types of people out there and the only thing you can do is learn from this and not be like him. I have spoken up for my dad and she was really rude and nasty to me just cause I did that. Sad thing, when you see two people who are supposed to love each other act like mean cruel jerks. Hugs for you.
@wiguen (551)
• United States
29 Dec 12
its just unfair, I am a man and that kills me to hear such things.
• Kenya
29 Dec 12
Thanks Nail Tech, I accept the hugs and send some to you.You are courageous to have stood up for your dad. The only solution in my case is to be close to my mom and let her know that she has a place with me if she decides to walk away from him. She is so good she will stay with him to the end. Thanks for sharing, it is refreshing to hear about good men out there.
• India
31 Dec 12
Females are always being neglected.Male always try to dominate her in every field and try to show his superiority.This is not the matter of your family instead this kind of cruelity on female is going on every where in our society.Male never understand what she actually want.Though I have never observed such kind of things in my family I have seen in my neighbours.
• Kenya
5 Jan 13
Yes Kunu, it is just unfortunate. During dating, I think the woman should state that she will not tolerate that kind of behavior. Thanks for participating in the discussion
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
I understand your feeling, that's indeed so cruel of your father. If I am in your situation, I will surely say something after the dinner. I am not telling you to become disrespectful to your father, but sometimes we (the kids) must interfere. I won't allow anyone to hurt my mother- not even my father.
• Kenya
5 Jan 13
Hi Jaiho, if it would work with my father, I would have said something. My mom loves him and overlooks his faults. The following day, they were talking like best friends.I think that is how they relate.sad.Thanks for stopping by and commenting
@edvc77 (2143)
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
That is kind of sad. In my opinion, your dad is quite defensive, might be insecure because your mother is the bread winner. That is why he reacts like dad. However, deep inside he is quite embarrassed of himself because he cannot give what your mother gives. Just try to understand your father and try to boost his moral at times or appreciate the things he is giving you and your family. The situation might change. Just a suggestion. Have a nice day!
• Kenya
29 Dec 12
Edvc77, my dad gets some money in his cattle farming, he is not willing to buy anything in the house. My mom is just so kind that she stepped up to make sure that we had the best. if he did not have any money coming in then things would be different. Thanks for the suggestion.
@wiguen (551)
• United States
29 Dec 12
well she should smack his head with the steak, that would teach him to be grateful and learn how to love and cherish his woman. it is very sad how men treat their partner sometimes.
• Kenya
29 Dec 12
Hi Wiguen, In the perfect world that would happen,my mom was brought up in the era to love her man with all his faults. You sound like a good man don't change.