Sometimes it is hard to tell a person to leave.

United States
December 28, 2012 11:29am CST
This lady on facebook fell in love with a man and moved 900 miles to be with him. she got a great job and she was happy. she read his inbox on facebook and found him cheating with another female. She moved out three months later and now 8 months later they just started speaking. she wants to know if she should go back or keep moving on. I told her it is better for her to leave and be hurt for a while. but,if he can cheat on her he can bring her back something she does not deserve. I am so strong about cheating because someone in my family cheated on a loved one and gave them hiv. now,our whole family went through all of that because that sweet person had to go back and tell their family what was given to them. the person who gave it to my family member already died. and out of shame he told his famaily he had cancer. I would not take a man back after cheating on me. and it breaks my hear to tell another to get tested and move on..another woman on facebook is waiting on her results now. it;s terrible
3 people like this
13 responses
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
28 Dec 12
This is really horrible, and cruel. I mean not only the cheating, but transmitting such a horrible disease. This is how a moment of carelessness can turn someone's life upside down for good. I am also very strong on cheating and what I would do - I would tell her to leave him and everything about him behind and move on. Yes, she will hurt for a while. But a man who's cheating, does not deserve any woman's tears or pain. She should move on with her life.
• United States
28 Dec 12
I feel you and would only hope a woman would know inside herself she was worth more.
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
29 Dec 12
No woman deserves such attitude. Every woman is worth a lot more. That's why women are stronger :)
@trisha27 (3498)
• United States
28 Dec 12
Wow, that is so sad that this happened to this lady. But she deserves something way better then this man anyway. Its so sad that she moved away that far to be with this guy and he was just unfaithful to her. I don't know what I would have done if my husband had done that to me. I moved over 600 miles to be with him and left behind my family and friends. But I am ever so grateful that he remained faithful to me. I am with you on this one though, if some guy cheated on me and if it were my husband, then I could not stay with him. I would be afraid like you said if he had passed something on to me while he was being unfaithful. And then on top of that how do you know once you take him back if he is not going to cheat on you again. That is something that would always be in the back of my mind. That is really sad that that happened to your family member. My mom was with my step dad and he cheated on her a lot. I never understood after all the cheating he did and all the lying he did to her, why she would want to stay with him. I could never understand that. But I was ever so happy and grateful that he did not want to be with her. I know that she went and got a lot of test done to make sure she didn't have anything and thank God, he didn't give her anything. I am glad though that they are not together, because I kind of have a feeling that if they stayed together, he probably would have cheated on her again and she would have eventually caught something. I know now, my mom is so much happier and having a better life without him and she's single, but you know what she is happy being single. Lol.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Dec 12
I am glad that your able to know your mother made it out clean. I know this girl next door my mother she has it and she just had a party because she lived ten year with it..I am proud of her to even be so open. My family member only told his lover after he already gave it to him and he knew he had it for years. we were so devestated when the person was told of what had happened to them. this person was looking to leave and move on with a woman who wanted him to father her child.
@911Ricki (13602)
• Canada
28 Dec 12
She should move on, many are in denial and probably take them back. Personally, I would tellt hem where to go, I would never take them back. My ex (although didnt cheat on me), he accused me of cheating, we both worked midnights, and I was full time college, if I didnt answer my phone, he would accuse me of this or that. I was up and gone in no time, I told hiim what I thought. I will never take a man back for cheating, nor touching me, nor talking down to me. I wouldn;t even take your man back after what he did to you. I can do much better, and find a man that respects me to not run off with someone else (many say its what you didnt do, you didnt give him enough s*x, doesnt matter if he really loved you he would go years without it - Ive had many guys say this), he wouldnt lay a finger on you no matter what, and he wont talk down to you like a piece of sh*t. I would be gone, and not look back.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Dec 12
I feel your right and if you could leave it would be best for you. I know for me my life is much better with adrain in it. he is not perfect but he is mine. LOl. I am sure she would do better if she found someone else. I had others and no one loved me like I am loved now. I am not a quitter for starters. I am going to work at what I want for me. and I can do much better if I wanted to leave. the fact is I don't and as bad as things have been they have been great as well. thanks ricki,
@liezel25 (292)
• Germany
28 Dec 12
That's terrible. Cheated once is enough for her to be awaken that its time to leave. She better moved on while its earlier. I know its hard for her situation since its all new for her. I hope she will be okay.
1 person likes this
@prashu228 (25520)
• India
28 Dec 12
i agree with you liezel it is very terrible . I am shocked to see how can he cheat her when she went to him from far it is very hard to digest for her as she had believed him or loving him very much so she will be hurt for sure for few days or even months but she must try to cope with that .
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 12
That is one of the reasons why I am sure she was thinking of taking him back. what a loss
@momz2gd (295)
• United States
28 Dec 12
Moving on is the best course of action. Once a cheater always a cheater. Unless the get help from a licensed therapist. Even then, it will be hard to trust them. It is sad to contract diseases from an unfaithful person. He will have lay down some priorities and stick with them.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 12
That would not be good enough for me to stay. I am terrified to catch anything. and I know I have been through a lot this is something I thank god I never have to deal with. I will fight to the bitter end but not for a cheater
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
28 Dec 12
she sould leave for sure, if she is a great person she will sure find someone better for her. Good thing is she isnt just dumped with no where to go. She has a job and means. Good luck to her there...
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 12
I hope and pray the warnings she got was good enough. her life should be worth more to her.
• United States
28 Dec 12
I'm so sorry that someone in your family got HIV. I can understand her lying and telling her family that she had cancer instead. There is so much of a stigma about HIV and AIDS. People make snap judgments about people when they fess up to say they have that terrible disease. I think you told her right... to move on. If he is an ex, he is an ex for a reason. If he cheated on her once, he will most likely revert back to that behavior, because if something is lacking in his self-esteem or lacking in his character, he may not commit fully to a relationship. I don't think she should go back. She is setting herself up for more heartache, if she does.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 12
Thanks very much for this. I am sorry other people don't know that tis is really something people are just spreading around. I feel so bad for that woman who will be told next. it is terrible..
@prashu228 (25520)
• India
28 Dec 12
Hi Giftsandbagscom you have a picked a nice topic .Yeah it is hard to tell a person to leave ( not only sometimes but most of the times), It is hard to ask even a friend to leave then how hard will it be to say the same words with a life partner and you have suggested correctly to that lady .
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 12
I hope n pray she never gets sick behind this man's cheating as well.
@Arieles (2474)
• United States
28 Dec 12
That's just terrible. I know I wouldn't take anyone back if they had cheated on me. He's cheated once, he will cheat again and that's just how I feel. If you have any kind of decency you will end one relationship before you begin another. Cheating is not cool and nobody deserves to have some std, because her man couldn't keep his pants zipped. I am very passionate about this cheating issue and it's just something I won't tolerate.
1 person likes this
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
6 Feb 13
hi, for me if that will happen to me and my partner will cheat me while i am in work,i will surely hate that man and i will leave him alone because when a man cheat you once it will also possible that he will cheat you again for second or even third time.
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
If I'm in the same situation and I have the choices of going back or moving on, I think the first question I should be asking myself, which risk I'll be willing to take? Because either way you're taking risk on both sides. After 8 months they're communicating again, that can only mean one thing, she's still in love with him. And who knows, the guy probably realized that he can't find happiness with anyone else but with her. I always believe in second chances. Love is much sweeter the second time around. Take the risk of losing him forever or take the risk of getting your heart broken again? In falling in love there will always be risk to take. That's why you have to be brave every time you take a fall!
• Canada
29 Dec 12
I don't understand why it is so hard for a cheated-on person to leave. Personally, if my guy cheated on me, that would be the end of our relationship. I love him like crazy now, but that could all end, if he were to cheat on me. I just don't understand why anyone can think they love someone enough to put up with that kind of crap.
@bjc66bjc (6745)
• United States
29 Dec 12
I think that people who asked these questions out in a public forum already knows the answer to her quiry,,..I mean to ask for opinions is ok, but one should not need the general public to make these sort of decisions...I think being that most people only knows her screen name and doesn't know anything about her relationship except what she post..and do you think she is really being totally dumbfounded or she know what her heart tells her... She might be a very decent person but really dosen't sound to smart if she need help making up he mind about this situtation,,,