are you willing to be someone's number 2?
By jacquiline
@jacquiline (124)
Philippines
14 responses
@chantalle25 (208)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
I have been a number 2 before. When he court me, I did not know that he has a girlfriend. After a month, I found out that he has a girlfriend and I planned to broke up with him even though I already love him. He said that he doesn't want to lose me and he didn't tell me about the girl because he's afraid I would leave him. He asked me not to leave him and he will leave his girlfriend. Their relationship is already on the rocks. I didn't leave him, our relationship lasted for a year but when we are almost a year we always argue about the girl because he did not break up with her. I was always asking him about that but he just can't leave her girl. We always end up fighting and I broke up with him. Maybe he's not really just for me and I accept that. I was really sad but now I have moved on and we still text but only as friends and I don't feel the same as before. If ever I would have a next relationship, I would not want to be a number 2.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
It's amazing you were able to be number to for a year or so. For me, that is very difficult. Not to mention painful. I wonder why he can't make up his mind and break up with one girl and stay with the other??
Lesson in life: We can't have everything. We have to sacrifice in order to find happiness, too.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
12 Jan 13
I see. Good thing you have realized that. It's tough to come up with such a decision. Love can blind us, more often than not. I hope you have already found happiness!
@chantalle25 (208)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Yes, that was a tough decision for me, I have always think about that day and night. I realized that it was really not good for me. I am always thinking about our situation day and night to the point that I haven't attend to any of my responsibilities at home. Maybe he just love that girl more than he loves me, if he really is in love with me, he will leave that girl and make it up to me but he never did. It is okay, I'll prefer to be out of that relationship and feel the pain THAN to be in a relationship with him, feeling the pain and CONFUSED. Yes you are right, that's what I did. I sacrificed my feelings because I have come to realize that my happiness is not on him and I know it would come soon :)
@farjun (135)
• Israel
30 Dec 12
of course... if you love beeing around him you can be around untill thier relashionship ends.
i dont know what you feel but i have a girl i have been whatching for about 1-2 years!
@jacquiline (124)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
I have a man and we have been together for like 1 year and 2 months. He has a girlfriend for almost five years. He said he doesn't love the girl much as much as i do. He only agreed to stick with their relationship since the girlfriend is not here in the country. I' thinking if it's right to stay even if I know for a fact that he already had a girlfriend. Am I doing the right thing?
@StLouisMetroTutoring (678)
• St. Peters, Missouri
30 Dec 12
It's great that you feel this way about him. If you want to stay with him while he is attached to someone else though, you need to talk to the someone else. I would say it's definitely not ok to be with a man who is already in a relationship if the other person doesn't know about you. If she knows and agrees, alright then. If it were me, if I couldn't talk to the girlfriend and hear her voice say she knows about me and it's ok with her if we have a relationship, then I'd be gone until he's ended the relationship with her.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Jan 13
In all honesty, I have been in that situation. And crazy as it may sound, but I have allowed myself to be in that situation for almost two years and had even hoped that I could replace his number one. But of course, now that I know better, that was the most stupid thing I have ever thought of doing. But I really love that person. And because of that love, I have set him free.
@Shavkat (137177)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
It is your choice to be involved in that kind of situation. Some people will not put into a position of being a mistress and others will take the risk. Depending on the culture, it can be accepted or not. In my country, it is still an issue, especially for those people who are so traditional. Adding up the morality issue that religion will take against them.
@StLouisMetroTutoring (678)
• St. Peters, Missouri
30 Dec 12
I think it depends. If I went into it with the belief that things would change in the future, sure if I was crazy enough for the guy. I'd wait on him. But if it's a given that he's in a relationship and will stay in the relationship and I would always be number two, nope, ain't gonna happen. I actually had an interesting marriage proposal along these lines. A man I knew was dating someone seriously. He was planning to ask her to marry him. He suggested we move to Utah and I become his second wife. Ummmm....can you say NO!?
@jacquiline (124)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
What was pretty cool. We're both actually graduating by April next year. he's 23years old and I am turning 20 and we really have great connection. For a year and 2 months that we have been together,we never had a fight, can you believe that? it's funny that i found someone i go along really well. I still have another problem though, His girlfriend is coming home next year around MAY i think. If things will change then I guess I have to Let him Go by that time. as they say,if you really love someone, set them free, if it comes back ...it's yours.
@misjoseph (162)
•
31 Dec 12
Yes, I will totally agree if ever met someone it this i will be glad to be that number 2... but i don't really find pleasure in being the number two I rather being the personal. but if he is that special i will... Happy new Year...
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
30 Dec 12
My initial reaction would be a categoric "NO" to such an idea, but in reality it may seem different under certain circumstances. I suppose it would mainly depend on how important the person in question was to you. It can be very difficult to walk away from someone if the attraction is strong enough, so every case would be quite different and impossible to predict.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
30 Dec 12
can never be number two for someone simply because I either never or two.
better to be alone than to feel as number two to love a person or I would or never with him.
I love you to love me.
nice day!
@ShyBear88 (59272)
• Sterling, Virginia
31 Dec 12
No I wouldn't want to be the other women in some other persons relationship as the one that broke a couple up and does damage.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
I won't be number two for anyone. I quite despise the idea. I'd go for number one!!
If this guy is married then I wouldn't bring myself to ruin their lives, their relationship and their children's lives. It is important to know our boundaries and our limitations.
But if they are only lovers and I think I would make a better girlfriend than the one he is with. I'd fight and do my best to gain his affection, love and all. No cheating, no hitting below the built. I won't sabotage his relationship. I'll let him know I exist, start from there and try to win his heart.
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
31 Dec 12
Never,I will never be someone's number 2,and if I really can not get her,I will start move on and get over her,because I think next is the best.
@Angelpink (4035)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
The term is not appealing to our ears , ' number 2 '. For me , there is no such thing as number 1 or 2 . There should no label as such. I believed human emotions are sacred therefore they must be respected. Whether you are the first ,second or tenth , it is not really important. What is important there is the commitment and your in sync with each other.
@Pen_Pal777 (245)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
if she would "turn my world around in a way i never thought possible", by that i am willing to be # 2, but as long as she is not married. i think i wouldn't even care if i am # 3 or 4.
@mayrylflores (173)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
It depends on the situation. Like in my case, I have this guy but he is in a relationship with somebody. At first it hurts knowing you are only number two or a second option when the other one is not around.But I accepted him.
