Do You Cause Others To Make Mistakes?

@sulynsi (2836)
Canada
January 3, 2013 3:22pm CST
At work today, a colleague was hesitating to contact a client to clarify an important matter on her payroll. The hesitation stems from the way the client reacts when you ask her anything. She makes you feel stupid for asking, irritated that you "don't know". I would say, in this instance, the client is setting herself up for serious problems because she is so unapproachable, mistakes will be made simply because no one wants to ask. I thought, 'I hope I am never like that, never make someone hesitate to ask me something, so that we can avoid problems down the road" How about you? Could you be making your life more difficult by the way you treat questions asked of you? Is there anyone who makes you feel insecure to the point where you make mistakes you otherwise wouldn't?
2 people like this
10 responses
@Orson_Kart (4487)
• United Kingdom
3 Jan 13
I think it's all to do with intimidation and your own self-confidence. Some people will always try to talk you down and make you feel small, no matter whether they are in the right or not. Your own self-confidence will determine if they fail or not. I'd like to think I am very approachable, but also confident enough to approach those who aren't, even if it involves confrontation. (I learned all this from watching Frasier...lol)
1 person likes this
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
4 Jan 13
I said to my colleague, that since this person is so difficult, what will it be like if you don't get them to clarify, and a big problem results, she will have an 'excuse' to be even more abusive. Better get it over with when its just a light rain, and not a hurriane Confidence is definitely useful in dealing with people like this Now about that episode.............
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 13
Yeah, but do you know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs?
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
4 Jan 13
Have LUNCH
• China
4 Jan 13
I am an outgoing girl, and I do wish I can get along with the one who is also approachable.It cannot deny that someone is actually shy rather than unapproachable,but someone always keeps the other people a thousand miles away.It turns to be that the more approachable you are,the more sociable you will be.It has an positvie impact on improving your interpersonal relationship. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 13
Hello sunshinesophie Your name made me think of that old Herman's Hermits hit - Sunshine Girl. Here is a youtube video of the song, sung by Herman's Hermits (Peter Noone to be precise) and danced along to by a group of lady dancers. I found it exhausting just watching them, lol, but you might like to try and learn the steps and let me know how you get on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8tAgoKIY3Q
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Jan 13
I work in management and the ONE mistake that I never want to make is to make myself unapproachable. They are the ones that make me who I am and when they stop coming to me..well..that means I have no more worth. I deal with some people that make it very hard to come to them. I continue in hopes of learning the way they communicate. I will tag them if it kills me If not...they will be forever haunted with my presence
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
5 Jan 13
uhhhhhh, you don't happen to want to pass on your resume? no? how about giving a seminar? please?......
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Jan 13
Anything for a friend Trouble is that after that seminar there has to be reinforcement for the ideas...that is one of the biggest challenges that I have faced with managers. I manage the supervisors and the people that work for them in the company I work for and they have to all be on board to make it work. Not an easy task for sure.
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
5 Jan 13
mutual agreement ahhh there is a task of opposing egos..... i was thinking about your haunting people until they respond......myself, I like to lurk.....like Snoopy over the edge of his doghouse, not badgering particularly, just a persistent 'presence' that is hard to ignore ..........and then we also have stalking..........
• Jacksonville, Florida
4 Jan 13
I have always been taught the only stupid question is the one not asked. I have always remembered that. I don't think anyone would have a hard time approaching me at all. I am so laid back and easy going, I am a pretty easy person to approach and I think I always will be...
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
4 Jan 13
I agree wholeheartedly with that! It's the question we don't ask that comes back to bite us. A former manager of mine gave me grief because I was "bothering" people with my questions. Well, in my line of work, one or two clarifying questions save hours of time and trouble for everyone involved. The people that gripe about being asked a question are usually the first ones to criticize if things go wrong! I've found too, that those people usually are covering up for their own ignorance.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
4 Jan 13
Yeah, right! I used to fall for that often at school. Teacher would prattle on for ages and then say, "Any questions?" and we'd all stay schtum. Then he'd ask again and add..."Don't worry if it seems like a stupid question, I bet you are all thinking the same one" Then I couldn't help myself but ask that stupid question, and sure enough it was....stupid, and not at all like the one he thought 'we' were all thinking. How embarrassing. Now I prefer to look blankly into the air without a hint of a question in my head and look to others to ask it.
@buenavida (8195)
• Sweden
4 Jan 13
I do hope I am approachable, at least my friends really want to visit me. There are some who have grown up in an environment of criticism, and learned some habits that can be very difficult to get rid of, and they can have a problem to get friends. The interesting thing is that our digestion, that is closely connected with our brain, can cause even mental problems, so I often think that it can be the cause - at least for some. Reading about this was kind of revolution in my thinking so I wrote an article in ExpertsColumn to spread the word. Knowing this may help to be patient with those who behave badly without always understanding themselves why, and what wrong they are doing. A good thing is that there is a solution for this, if they want to listen and follow some easy instructions.. The greatest man, Jesus, was easy to approach - even when he must have seen people were very imperfect. Also small children felt comfortable in his company. Yes, we'd always better keep looking at such good examples and follow them..
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
4 Jan 13
Growing up in a critical environment, yes that would do it. I had to make a conscious effort not to be sarcastic, because my dad's humour was quite caustic, funny but his funny could cut like knife. But then much of his childhood in boarding schools, and being small, couldn't defend himself much with his fists, so he developed an intimidating persona to deal with bullies. Trouble is, it generates other problems for people throughout their lives I didn't know that digestion could have an effect on emotional stability. But I do know that a full tummy can make it hard to stay awake for the public talk
1 person likes this
@buenavida (8195)
• Sweden
4 Jan 13
Yeah.. My usual food before a meeting is - after a breakfast with only fruits that are digested very easily - then after some time: a boiled egg and yogurt with berries and coconut oil for extra brain function + food supplements. Keeps me awake if I am not too tired... Here is a link you may be interested in reading: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/05/12/dr-campbell-mcbride-on-gaps.aspx?e_cid=20120512_DNL_artNew_1 I had a discussion not long ago about how a doctor cured her son from Autism with only right food, so you find it in my profile here. I work with gnld.com and have learned about good bacteria there, and we recommend everyone before they start with the food supplements to take Acidophilus+ and CalMag with D3 and Aloe Vera, one or two weeks before, so that they can benefit from the great nutrition they take... Let me know if you have any questions..
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
4 Jan 13
Thats how some people are they are like monster its scary to ask them anything . I see some people get scared to ask even their own supervisor something . Whenever I am dealing with someone , I am pleasant ( I am naturally a pleasant person ) because I would not want them to make any mistake because that will affect both of us .
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
5 Jan 13
that is the best course...make yourslef available for others and it will always benefit you too
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
4 Jan 13
I know people who are like that. They do not have the patience for people who are slow in picking up or understanding things. This makes me think. I am probably like this sometimes. I need to slow down a bit and see to it that I am understood. There are a few people who don't ask for verification because of fear. Like my helper for instance. I send her to an errand and comes back with the wrong item. If she did not get the instruction I gave her, she should have asked, rather than go ahead and buy something which is not correct.
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
5 Jan 13
I think it is a good questio to ask oneself from time to time especially if we have subordinates-when we get tired or are having a bad day, it can be easy to lose patience and this can be bad for everyone
@mranjaan (137)
4 Jan 13
I never cause others to make mistake, i think this is dis honesty.
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
5 Jan 13
I am not sure you are understanding what I meant, but thank you for commenting
• India
4 Jan 13
Hi friend, if we are facing issues, there is nothing wrong in asking the reason, in fact it is our duty to ask the reason, if we hesitate to do it, the loss is from our side. We must be very careful to avoid mistakes as well as don't hesitate to ask the reason if the problem is not from your side
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
4 Jan 13
Absolutely! It is humane, but also good business, really, to maintain good working/personal relationships with others, superiors and peers. It can be difficult to ask questions, out of fear of embarassment, but it works out to be easier in the long run.
@narthan (326)
• India
4 Jan 13
That's true.. People should often be more open and approachable. That not only makes an other feel more comfortable but also develops good co-ordination especially in workplace. I often come across people who think they are the masters of everything that to greater extent makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable.
@sulynsi (2836)
• Canada
4 Jan 13
Hi narthan, It is funny how when we treat others in the way we want to be treated, with patience and consideration, how things go much more smoothly Always makes the best sense. It is when we are under pressure, that we need to think about how or reactions are affecting others. thanks for your response