Coping Up with Changes
January 7, 2013 10:54am CST
People change. That's a fact and that's something bitter about life that I have learned the hard way. Some changes are meant for good but mostly, somehow it would hurt you or would make you confuse. Sometimes it would even make you doubt the person who changed drastically. Everything has reasons. We may not be able to understand it for now but surely there are factors contributing or affecting changes. I just realized recently that few of the people close to me or should I say the people I trusted most have changed suddenly. They became stranger that it makes me confuse whether it's them who have had a change of heart or if it's just me. First off, I learned that a former colleague of mine in my previous work has betrayed not only me but most of the people who trusted her. We thought that she could keep secrets the way we keep hers. I never thought she can do it (destroy my trust) but who am I to judge? I will not deny the fact I have been hurt when I found out about it. Though it feels good to find out about the betrayal few months after I resigned from work. At least, the blow was not that strong. She may have reasons why she did but I know someday I will understand her. My feelings for her have not changed though. I treated her as a dear friend and I would rather think on the positve side or the good things and memories we have shared togehter and just try to ward off the negative part. I left work knowing she meant well for me and I want it to stay that way. She may have broken my expectations and trust but I'd rather think she did it for my benefit. Time heals as they say so when our roads will cross someday, I know I will still be able to smile at her and thank her for the time and the friendship even if it turned out to be different.
1 person likes this
7 Jan 13
That is true, "people change." The factors vary maybe from the experiences, achievements, being successful, or even the environment. Some people change for the better however some are not. God never change. He truly loves all people and want everyone to come to repentance. God will never fail you.
7 Jan 13
There's nothing permanent in this world but changes. I know how you feel, I felt that also. I experienced the same thing with almost the same scenario except for the person who do it is my friend not just a simple colleague. She's my friend for more than a decade I think, so just imagine how painful it is to be betrayed by such friends. But now I can smile back to her whenever we see each other unlike before, really given the time you can forgive and cope up with anything that will come your way in God's will.
8 Jan 13
I perfectly understand you. The pain would be more than twice if a dear friend does that to you. It's always good to be able to smile to someone whose done you wrong even if it does not necessarily mean that you have forgotten what that person has done to you... :)
7 Jan 13
I find it a bit overdoing to say a collegue is able to destroy your trust. Destroy is a lot. Also I wonder how that can be. A collegue is just a collegue not a close or your best friend. If it comes to secrets I wonder why anyone has any or if so why you would tell a secret to a collegue. So I think you learned a lesson from this as well. And that is what life is about. To learn what to say or not. Or even better not to have secrets. I don't have them and I can tell you it's a way easier life. I don't care if a stranger or close friends knows what happenend to me during my childhood, marriage or now. The interesting thing is that if you are open and straight most people don't even believe you. Also this way nobody can manipulate me or abuse me. Since there are no secrets they can tell me. Also I think that if it comes to it's just a feeling, if you don't feel hurt or betrayed someone else can not hurt or betray you at all. I think you made the right choice.
7 Jan 13
good day to you junerainemay, that was a very good gesture. well, if i will be placed in a situation where a friend betrays me, perhaps, i will try to forget every bits of situation that binds us. i will do that move for me to forget all of those things that we have shared together. as i need to get over and moved on from the betrayal that i have received. and will just wait for the time that the wound have been healed. as time heals all wounds.
7 Jan 13
Yes, I agree, time definitely heals all wounds. In time, I'll be able to forgive her but for now, i guess we'll just have to go our own ways. I'm pretty sure I reach forgiveness in time. I don't know how long that's going to be but I'm sure it will come... :)
29 Jan 13
I have experienced the betrayal before. It's sure hurt...I don't know if I have forgiven her, but with time, my feelings become numb and I don't really feel anything anymore. However I know very well that I have to forgive, don't know if this feeling of numb means that I have forgiven her or it's just my way to cope with it...
• United States
7 Jan 13
Yes, it is true that people do change - sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. My best friend that I have known for over 1/4 century has changed for the better. And now is more supportive than ever before. One of my friends that I thought was 'solid as a rock' and who I really admired just went off the deep end. She got very sick and had to be on medication. I am not sure if that is what triggered her to just start doing crazy things, or what. She endangered the lives of her children. Her husband had to call the police to have her removed from their house. He had to get a court order to keep her away from the children. It was horrible. I am still her friend but at a distance. I really do think that the medication and her illness just triggered something in her brain and she just went crazy. She has settled down now and is trying to piece back her life. She still can't see her children without someone else being present - she doesn't understand that but all her friends, including me, know that children's safety is most important. I support her family and hope that they are able to get their lives patched back up again. She was such a good person, so I hope something good will come out of all this.
7 Jan 13
I will say that once a friend has broken trust, I would never be friends with that person again, also if I knew that she had done the same with other people I would also warn them what that so called friend was like. I hate people that we can not trust and once the trust has gone so has all friendship that was also there.