How do you know if someone's flirting with you?

@Aja103654 (5658)
Philippines
January 9, 2013 10:39pm CST
Hello, my friends. In my entire 22 years of existence, I have made 4 boyfriends but still I can't tell if someone is flirting with me or if some guy likes me in romantic way. Whether I am just dumb or whether I unknowingly discard the idea automatically of possible admirers, I'm not sure. I am probably both? So the question is: How do you know if someone is flirting with you? How do people flirt? How do you flirt? Anything you can say what flirting is, how it is done, please share. Because I don't know how to flirt nor do I intend to do so. I need this information to get ideas for this manga my friend and I want to work on. Thank you!
12 responses
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
10 Jan 13
I dont think not knowing wether a person is flirting with you or not is not really a bad thing. Well it just proves that you are a non-assuming and non judgmental person which is of course a good thing. Besides knowing if a person is flirting with you or not does not really give you much benefit. And as observed when they do detect that your giving them attention on their flirting or that you know that they are glinting with you, for some reason they seem to back off. I don't know why that's the case but it hap pens to me a lot. Also if ever you tell somebody that you think this guy or that guy is flirting with you, the guy you were referring to can always say you're too assuming and they will deny it (100% sure that the person will deny that he flirted with you if he is asked by another person.) And besides to assume is to make an *SS-out of-U-and-ME. but to answer the ff questions, when people flirt they are overly friendly and there is something with the way they look at the person they are flirting with. And they take every opportunity they can to initiate even the slightest bodily contact (may it me a brush on the shoulder or something even more subtle)
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
thank you for your informative response. And thank you, I do my best not to assuming when it comes to things like this. It's embarrassing if we get the wrong idea and act in a bad way because of it. I never experienced people backing off from flirting with me because I have noticed them. But they do back off when they sense that I have no interest in them. These are strangers who are guys, guys who are acquaintances. I don't trust guys who flirt with me the first time they see me. I mean it's okay to be nice but not too nice. It makes me think that they are only doing that because they are attracted to my looks, they barely know who I really am. If I want someone to fall for me, it should be because of who I am not what I look like.
• Penrith, Australia
11 Jan 13
You're quite lucky that you get to draw attention with your looks. Unlike others, they have to spend a lot if time with the person so as to create an attraction between them. It's nice though doing that cause they will like you for the inner things you possess. Anyway, if you be yourself, you shouldn't have any problem with it, you're actually quite lucky cause the more attention you draw, the more options there is for you to choose from. :D and when there are choices, there is a lesser probabilty that you'd get a rotten guy. :D
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
12 Jan 13
LOL, no I am not that good looking. i don't even bother with make up and feminine clothes. I find them uncomfortable and only wear them when I feel like it, which is not often. Hmm, that's interesting frai. The fact that one has a lot to choose from because one is attractive is true. But I think it would also depend on the woman's ability to choose and identify the right guy and not the rotten one. I see a lot of beautiful women in a relationship with jerks. Such a bad combination, in my opinion. I don't see why they date such jerks.
@dpk262006 (56220)
• Delhi, India
10 Jan 13
Hi Aja! It is said that Flirting is a kind of activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person. As regards your own experience with your boy friends, you are the better judge to conclude whether they were honest and sincere in their approach or their intention was just to spend some time with you and part away. If someone comes into my contact and start interacting and I find that her attitude is hollow instead of having some depth, I may conclude that she is flirting with me. I do not flirt with anyone. I believe that if am befriending someone let it be serious and not for the sake of it or for the temporary phase which may evaporate with the passage of time. Have a great day! Dpk
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Ah, thank you for that definition deepak! I have never thought of flirting that way. I see flirting done a lot on western movies. I thought women and men just do that because of culture, so that was open flirting. Is flirting deep or shallow? I think it is shallow because it's like a game. Most people can't pull it off if they are nervous. So maybe if someone is interested but not deadly serious, they can flirt no problem. I never flirt with other people... except with my boyfriend. To me, flirting is only for my special someone not to everyone. Thank you for your response, deepak!
@dpk262006 (56220)
• Delhi, India
11 Jan 13
Hi Aja - So your perception about flirting is based on what is shown in movies and soaps. If you presume that flirting is on the surface and is shallow then the person (who is being flirted) should come to know about it. If it is for fun then both should be aware or have an idea about it because problem may arise if one of them start taking it seriously (when the intention is otherwise). How do you flirt with your boy friend? Have a nice day!
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Yes, that's where I base my knowledge on flirting. I've never really tried the flirting game but I have done it a few times with my boyfriend only. I see. It can be very troublesome if the other person takes it seriously. but how can this be cleared? Hmm... i tease him sometimes. A flash here and there, hugs and kisses, play banters, i'm simple.
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
My girlfriend calls me a flirt and I say I'm just being friendly. I guess in a way I become too friendly that it can be seen as flirting by some such as my girlfriend. Flirting is probably any means of showing the intention that you have some sort of admiration towards a certain person and want to be noticed.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Okay. I guess there is a boundary between being friendly and flirty. I always think that flirting is only limited to boyfriend and girlfriend. With friends, I never flirt with them. I don't feel comfortable flirting with boys other than my boyfriend. That's like cheating in my opinion. So if ever I have a flirty boyfriend, i would dump him. It's not bad to flirt though.
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
In some cases it's not really easy to know if a person is actually flirting or just being friendly. One might give or get the wrong interpretation of the action and intention.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
It's safer to assume that they are just being friendly, eh? I always assume that but lately I am trying to be more aware of people's intentions towards me. Everything is so tricky.
• Estado De Mexico, Mexico
10 Jan 13
hello there, Its really hard to guess weather someone is flirting or not,as in your entire 22 yrs you had 4 boyfrens,by now i think you should know who is flirting and who is not.Being a guy I can tell you some things which might be helpful to you. First if the guy is flirting, He would talk to you in a bit of a romantic way but also teasing you at the same time,he would be praising you for your looks and talks and the way you walk.May be he would talk about your figure or something which might offend you at times. But guys who really like you and thinks good about you,they would take care of you and will make sure you are fine..weather or not you are in need of something,they will always be close to you so that in case you need any help,they would be the first to help you. May be this helps Take Care Raj India
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
I see. So that is flirting. I have experienced that a lot with my past boyfriends and the boyfriend I have now. I didn't really think it was flirting though. I guess I have done flirting too without thought. Hmm, some of them have commented about my body, too. Since I am a nursing graduate I just thought of it as human anatomy and such. Thank you!
• Estado De Mexico, Mexico
14 Jan 13
Its indeed a plesure friend.. :)
• United States
15 Jan 13
I think you can feel it if someone if flirting. Probably by the way they smile or the things they say. Although a person being friendly acts a lot like a person flirting. I say it doesn't matter whether they are actually flirting. If it is someone you like you should flirt even if they are just being friendly. If they are not someone you like then there is no harm in not realizing they are flirting.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
Thanks for the tips, a-girl! I'll keep them in mind.
• China
10 Jan 13
When a boy calls you frequently, or sends text message to you everyday, that is probably he is chasing on you. You can feel that he tries every means to talk to you, to contact you and make you happy.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Thank you. I have experienced this with my boyfriend before. He confessed to me some time after.
• India
10 Jan 13
Hi friend, it is easy to find out the flirting ways, if some persons is interested in talking with a lot and admire you for silly thing and appreciate all your activities, then s/he is try to flirt you. Some persons will do lot of crazy things to win over their beloved persons heart, this kind of things are a symbol of flirting activity. They will follow you in various activities in online and offline and try their maximum to keep in touch with you. They try to be center of attraction in your presence
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
My boyfriend before when we were only classmates likes to play with me, when another classmate of ours borrowed my guitar he volunteered to return it to me personally and he also gave me a foot massage. We talk on the phone at night. It's odd why I didn't realize he had romantic feelings for me. I always thought we are friends that get along so well.
@airasheila (5459)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Hi there Aja103654, Same as you are, there are times, I cannot define if somebody is flirting with me. Though sometimes I loved the way how they treated me. Hence, most of the time, I am treated so very special by those people. And I loved that feeling, so I guess, being treated so very special is one way of flirting. But I am not that pretty sure. Perhaps, I just loved the way people treating me so sweet.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
I guess this depends on the person's intention for flirting. If someone we like flirts with us, that's fun. If someone we don't like flirts with us, it's unpleasant and annoying. If friends of the opposite gender flirts with us playfully but only just to show care to us, that's cool.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
From my experience, I have sensed a guy flirting with me if he is too inquisitive, he is touchy or just basically find ways on how he can touch you either on your fingertip, cheek, hair or waist. Also, look at the way he listens to you when you speak. Are his eyes glued on you all the time? I mean does he often make eye contact with you? How often does he tell just how gorgeous you look? Or how your clothes fits you perfectly? Does he constantly appear to wherever you go? Does he always find ways on how to communicate with you? Those are just guidelines for you to know if he is flirting with you. Hope it helps.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Thank you jenny. That made a lot of sense. There are not many guys who do that to me. But when some do, they don't do it for long and usually i find them annoying if they get too touchy.
• China
10 Jan 13
Haha,as for me,I can feel girls flirting with me according to their eye's expression,and I think boys all can feel that if some girls show those kind of eye's expression on you. And of course there are other ways such as we all know,wearing exposed and touch you with intention,lol,there are many ways.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
I see. I am not used to flirting with people but I do it with my boyfriend. I just didn't know that it was flirting what I was doing it. Some people have a strong antennae for such things. I think my boyfriend has one too, he tells me about some flirty girls a lot of times. It puzzles me. Maybe it was his hyperactive imagination or girls at his school are just flirty to all the guys there. I guess since I don't like any guys at school, I never got to flirt with any.
@SIMPLYD (80391)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
In my younger time, men flirt by teasing you that they would like to try how it is to date me. Or they would call on the phone after office hours, to say that they just would like to hear your voice. Anyway, men have different styles of flirting. One just have an open mind when they do so. But if you are single and so are they, why not?
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
I see. So my co-worker before was flirting with me. I just ignored him though and talked to him normally as a friend. Didn't bother flirting back. he knows I have a boyfriend already, I don't get it. Thank you the info!
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
10 Jan 13
Flirting comes in different ways and styles. Men and women had their own styles when it comes to this matter. There are sweet gestures that looks or sounds flirting- but for the concern person it's just a sweet way to express care and nothing more. I am not good when it comes to this matter-so let it be.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
I see. But how do we know this person is really flirting with us on purpose or is only someone who behaves naturally like he or she is flirting with people all the time?