Where is Acceptance?

United States
January 11, 2013 11:40pm CST
All through life I've struggled to be an individual. Not by what I do but by who I am. Actually I've learned a lesson recently that those who struggle to be individuals with their actions, really are not, that independent after all. Any way that is just a side note, back to the point. . . In life I've always done my own thing. I have been happy mostly when people kind of leave me alone. I played basketball from when i was just a kid, 5 years old starting out, and I played all through high school. Not for any reason but I loved it. I would be out there for hours on end just running back and forth and shooting the basketball. I was the best shot on the high school team but I never got a chance... okay I keep getting side tracked. What this is all about is acceptance. I have never been accepted for who I am. I am only accepted for what I do, or don't do. I feel so distant to my family because of this. I don't feel loved, I feel judged. All they care about is that I don't have a job, a car, a house, a "put your poessession here and I don't have it!". They could care less about the person I am. My interests as a Christian or my beliefs in such (well some family members do accept this and support it). They don't care that I have musical talent or that I can find happiness in life without stuff! I find it very unfair. It makes me and then . Aren't we supposed to love each other? Not just what ever we have in our measely lives that we can't take passed the grave?
3 people like this
9 responses
@Hatley (164486)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Jan 13
oh echo you sound like I used to as I just wanted once to hear my dad say I did really well.If I got a b he would just growl and say why did you not get an a.so for years I waited for him just once to say he was proud of me. Never happened but I married and my hubby was everything I had always wanted in a mate., He taught me to accept myself and to tell myself I was somebody and that I was unique and that I liked myself. Then I was really free so when I gave my father a grandson he told me he was proud of me,. I almost fainted. So echo you have to be proud of yourself first then maybe so me of your family might just change. We are all supposed to love each other but some may never have read the book. but did you ever tell them what they make you feel like as theyh may just be thoughtless and not realizing how m uch they hurt youtalk tol them heart to heart.
• United States
15 Jan 13
Well I have also been a little bit conservative with expressing those thoughts. In my experience when I express myself it seems to make things worse...
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
14 Jan 13
What you miss on your way to be an individual is the love for yourself. You are not independent because you are waiting for the agreements, the love, the approvement, the compliments of the world around you. Your family, your society. But an individual should be who he is. Should love and believe in himself. Take care of himself. Be happy with himself, compliment himself for who he is. If you do not accept yourself for real for the great person you are, nobody will. It's not important what others say or think about you. It's important what you say and think about yourself. Since you are the one who has to live with you this whole life.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Jan 13
Yes, love of self should always come first. Accepting who I am has not been the easiest route. I do love myself now though and it was a hard road. Now I know they don't accept me but I don't become overly upset about that any more. Sometimes, it is still a problem adn I don't think that is wrong of me to think it.
• United States
13 Jan 13
Oh how easy it is for other people to judge, isn't it? Have they been like this all your life? A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away, people judged you by how much you possessed. But you know what..the more common, normal people that only have minimal are by far the happiest I think because we CAN do this. They're the one's that know how beautiful the sun looks like when it comes up in the morning and colors the sky in the evening going down. They know what the birds sound like on a beautiful spring day. They know what it's like to not have a car, but get through the day anyway without one. They know how to get along without a job and how hard it is....which makes for a better person in the long run. The harder it is for us all, the more human we become. And things that other people think is just plain horrible and they can't deal with are like not having cable tv, or they're out of their car for a few days because it's in the repair shop, or they're having a bad hair day.....this stuff is so ridiculous to us and so petty that we brush them off and roll our eyes at them and think "Are you kidding me?". Actually, we're the lucky one's Echc because we have feelings. All I can say is we love you here echo, regardless of what you have or don't have. We will be your family and help you as much as we can to get through life's problems......all you need to do is ask.
• United States
13 Jan 13
Thank you so much, you really made me smile. The support here is amazing and I"m blessed to have friends like this around the world. I too am happy with seeing a sunset or some nature, go for a nice walk and I"ll be happy. I don't want to depend on anything in life other than the love I receive or can give to others. Love and happines in life other than in things is so much more important to me.
@MissPiggy (1751)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 13
People judge. That's what they do. I think we have to stop thinking "why can't they just accept us?" and turn it into "why can't they be us?". I mean, maybe they are just jealous because we can accept who we are and enjoy our lives with what we have while they can't. So this might be unfair for them as well. Have you ever thought about this? So here's what I do if I were you. I will keep doing what I do because I feel comfortable with it. If they can't understand me, I'll just ignore them. If I have a chance to talk, I'll talk to them about what I feel. If they can't understand me, the hell with that. It's my life.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jan 13
Laughing at "they can't be me" hahaha! Epic. I like your out look on it though. You're correct and I should basically think this way too because it is my life! Its not like I'm doing anything wrong that they should treat me so badly. I think I will go on and just let this go in a way. Maybe one day they will understand.
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
With your basketball career that time, maybe it was just not the right time for you to shine. Now about your life now, if you have worries like these, have you tried talking to any member of your family about what you are feeling? I mean, our families should be the first people to notice if we are happy or sad. So how come they seem to take you for granted?
• United States
14 Jan 13
You're right they should be the first, I don't know if they do ro not notice. I am a little shy to speak up also....
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
Yeah, I know what you mean....but if example, like in other skills that you know you excel at, you should let others recognize your hard work. Not really wanting to brag your capabilities but at least show them that you know how to work hard on something and that you may even be better at that if they would only notice and acknowledge.
• United States
15 Jan 13
Oh I see your point. I would like to show them I have potential and I am doing well. Though say for example since I work online, some family members would not accept that as doing well they would look down their nose at it.
@robspeakman (1705)
13 Jan 13
Acceptance? Sounds simple doesn't it? we are all guilty of not accepting other people - I like to think of myself as a very accepting person, but I would imagine that if I delved deeper and thought about it for a length of time I would guess that there are one or two things that I would find difficult to accept... I don't think that makes me a bad person, it makes me honest. I believe that on the whole we can be more accepting - Leave ancient texts and outdated opinions in the past and think for ourselves and stop judging
• United States
13 Jan 13
If we all strove to be more accepting toward each other it would be a better place. Some don't consider it at all and just like to be more close minded. There are of course things or people I am not too accepting of either, I'm no saint.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
I think there is a stage in one's life when one over-thinks everything. I think you are doing fine. Being who you are and loving what you have are keys to happiness. We should not judge others by his or her material possessions for these things are only temporary.
• United States
13 Jan 13
This life is temporary as is everything else we have. We should take notice of those things that are not material for our happiness.
• Jacksonville, Florida
12 Jan 13
Some people need "stuff" to make themselves happy in life. The stronger, more intelligent people can be happy without the "stuff" to clutter their lives. I am happy with anything I have and don't need more "stuff" to make me happy. I can adapt to almost any situation. I think this has helped me in my life... Someone I am close to once said to me, I don't know how you live the way you do. You always have to sell things because you need the money. I told her its simple, these are just things that I really don't need so giving them up is not that difficult for me to do... I can always buy more things if I have the extra money to do so. To me "stuff" doesn't mean true happiness. But people base your "stuff" on what kind of person you are. I personally think it is wrong but I think 90% of people are like this... If you don't have a car, job or a house of your own your garbage. What shallow people they are!
• United States
12 Jan 13
That is good for you that you will not be attached completely to things you have. Most would not consider this at all if they're failing financially to pay bills. Some people have nice things they could sell for that money but they wouldn't dream of it. Its too bad your friend can't see it your way too. It is their loss to live or think this way but it s still a disappointment to me.
@subhojit10 (7382)
• India
12 Jan 13
Thanks a ton for sharing this discussion. Well i can understand your situation and i think we should never bank on others to see how we are accepted because it will always give disappointed and dejection to us. We should not wait for someone to give us a certificate as to what they like or dislike about us. If u are happy with yourself then u will stay happy forever. Do not think about such things and live your life in your own terms. What say?
• United States
12 Jan 13
You're correct, I am happy with myself. It would be pleasant if my family was also happy with who I am though.