leaving behind someone that once was very important to you...

love apart - boy and girl from bleach
Portugal
January 12, 2013 9:21am CST
hi guys i was wondering, what would you do if you cared for someone so much, and he stopped to act as sweet as before, and pretty much avoiding you. would you have the guts to leave him behind? for me, there was a guy that i liked before and we stayed as friends. but then he started to act like he still loved me, then he act like a best friend, and other times like he pretty much didnt care. what would you do in a situation like this? would you try to understand his strange attitudes? or would you just take him away of your life? my decision after trying to understand him over and over again was deleting him of my life. its bad to feel like someone is your best friend and then he doesnt care for you. but even though it hurts, we need sometimes to be strong and put things behind our backs.
5 people like this
18 responses
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
13 Jan 13
I would actually do what you have already done. Before I jumped to any conclusions or decisions, I would try and talk to him about this issue, in order to understand what caused these weird mood switches, was the reason in him or in me. May be, if my attempts didn't work, I would try and keep my distance for a while to see what his reaction will be. Only I am not sure I would leave him behind completely, may be I would, if he did, too. But like I said, I would first try to find whatever the reason that made him behave towards me like this.
• Portugal
2 Mar 13
yes iva i understand your way of thinking. i also think the same way. i think for guys is harder to show their feelings than for us girls. sometimes it seems that they really care for us. but sometimes seems like we are not that important. cause they can spend days without asking how we are.
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
5 Mar 13
Men are simply constructed this way - they find it very difficult to share, therefore - it's difficult for them to ask how other people feel. It's all connected, that's why we are the ones to try and reach them in an attempt to better understand what's in their heads.
• Mexico
14 Jan 13
Hi sweet love forever: I think that a person like that probably don't even know what he wants. The problem is that he could play with your feelings. I think you should try to be friendly but put your distances and maybe in the right moment ask him what he really wants to do with you. ALVARO
2 people like this
• Portugal
2 Mar 13
you said a great advice. i think he should see if he really likes me like he said or if im only a friend to him. i already put my distance from him. but sure if he talks to me i wont ignore him. i just wish he could be honest and say if he really likes me. and if he does why is he so long time not talking to me? cause if im important to him he cant be away from me that longer right? cause that would hurt him so much.
@Shavkat (66206)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
If we think that there is no hope for a certain person, then it is time to find ways to change the way of treating other with sweetness. The friend of yours is just giving an impulse probably a plain friendship and not beyond that. Though we can never tell, the future is sometimes are full of deception.
• Portugal
2 Mar 13
i think that is my fault. cause when i meet a guy and i become too close friend with him i tend to feel something. so i guess thats why sometimes i get hurt. getting too attached to guys can hurt us girls. mostly if they dont act as sweet as us. i think im a bit too sweet sometimes and i shouldnt give that much of myself. only when a guy does that for me first.
@jagjit273 (1740)
• India
13 Jan 13
Its very hard to take that step. But if the other person doesn't care for you. Its better to move on. I met a girl 2 years ago online. At first she gave me alot of attention but slowly she started ignoring me. Didn't pick up my phone. I asked to call me up. She didn't do that also,l emailed her also but she didn't replied. So i thought to move on. Just care for those who care for you.
2 people like this
• Portugal
9 Feb 13
online relationships are complicated. i loved a guy a lot but then he met a girl near him and he forgot our promise to wait for each other. so for now i wont trust online relationships anymore. i have friends boys online but they will only be my friends and nothing else. love is something to live with someone near you. cause with someone far you never know if he will visit you or give up and choose someone that lives near him. i wish soon you find a good girl near you that loves you.
• United States
12 Jan 13
I would have no problem in this situation at all. If he started to avoid me I would sure not ever contact him again. so,it would be him walking out of my life. and when he found the need to contact me again I would avoid him. simple as making a pie. You did the right thing but it took you too long. trying over and over was not good for you. your feelings got deeper for the person. I am wondering if the man is suffering from a mood disorder. If this is the case I would be hurt avoiding him. because it would surely not be his fault he is going through this.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
i think he doesnt suffer from that cause i know him since 2 years already. almost 3. so i know that his way is acting sweet, then he be like not saying much, and then is sweet again. i cant live that way thinking that im important to someone one day, and next day im nothing. when a guy really likes a girl she is important to him everyday and not just sometimes.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jan 13
That is why I would walk away and never look back.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
9 Feb 13
i guess you are right. cause if we think about what happened we will be sad. everyone wants to find a guy who loves us at all times. not one that loves us one day. and next day dont remember us. no one needs that. we all need someone who really loves us for what we are.
@dilrajj57 (1759)
• Pakistan
26 Feb 13
hi sweetloveforeve, hope you fine and well in your sweet life, as concerned your discussion, very sorry that you were a friend and then left you alone, As i think when do so someone as one have done with you, i like that first of all may be examine that whey he left you, then if he do it clearly, then you should ignore him and deleat him. i know it is strong to do, but that will the way to out from heart. take care.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
2 Mar 13
thats what i did. i deleted him of my life. but he came to ask me why. anyway i will talk to him but i will protect myself this time. i wont let myself be affected with his words anymore. if he says he loves me then ok. i wont show him how i feel in any way. i dont want to love him. i want to be only his friend. im sick of getting hurt by bad guys.
@kokomo (1868)
• Philippines
27 Jan 13
Yes, I can relate with you. I also felt that with my boyfriend. Before, he was so sweet with me. All are perfect then suddenly after some conflicts with our relationship, he had changed a lot. But then, I accept all that changes of him. I understood him. I did everything just to get back with our usual relationship and to save our relationship. I'd became very patient with his attitude.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
2 Mar 13
i understand you. im happy you could understand him. and that things are ok now. but i think that sometimes guys also have to understand us. i always tried to understand his attitudes and when we argued i was always the one trying to make things right. im done with that attitude of him. we are friends but we always were too close. so hurts me that he says he loves me one day. and then be without talking to me for many days.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
If I were in your position, I would talk to him first what his intentions really are. Or what relationship is he trying to build up with me. Is it only a friendly relationship or is it more than that. Whatever his answer would be will then be my decision for this matter. Either to stick to him or simply go our separate lives.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
2 Mar 13
we are friends only. but i would like to know if he really loves me or not. cause if he says he loves me and then is like nothing happened i dont get it. for me things have to be clear. i dont like to feel like im special to someone and next day he acts like im not important. for me that doesnt make any sense.
@Dominique25 (9475)
• United States
14 Jan 13
That would be tough. I think that I would sit down with him and try to have a real heart to heart conversation. Letting him know how I feel and how his actions are confusing me. Then I would ask him what he really wants. Then we could go from their once we both knew how each other felt.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
2 Mar 13
you are right dominique. its just that guys are a bit complicated sometimes. its like i dont know him well even though we know each other since three years now. why cant he just say how he really feels? i mean how come sometimes he says he loves me so much and then be days without asking how i am? i dont understand this attitude.
@vivek19 (219)
• India
13 Jan 13
You should first clear out all your doubts and misunderstandings that you have with him by talking to him at a lunch or dinner or over a coffee. If he is not intersted in you than you should not try to persuade him. Don't be pathetic in front of him. Instead, move forward in life.
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
i wont act pathetic dont worry. i dont want to look like a fool anymore. i said to him what i wanted to say and he knows what he did. his actions show that he doesnt care about me. if he cared he would be sweet and not act like im a nothing to him. it hurts me but we should move on when people dont appreciate us. life is short and i want to be happy while im alive.
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
13 Jan 13
I have a pretty bad experience with this kind of situation and it was with someone that I loved with all of my heart and it was with someone that I thought that I was going to marry and then be with for the rest of my life. This happened with my ex-girlfriend and she was also my best friend while we were dating. I don't really know the reason for why she broke up with me but pretty much out of the blue she just started to be really distant and cold towards me. It really hurt me real bad once this happened and when she broke up with me and I still tried to do whatever I could to maintain her as a friend. I would go into the places she worked just so I could see her from time to time and so that I could talk to her. Than she just decided that she was going to up and move to Oregon an incredibly far distance from Michigan. All of the things that she did in the months leading up to this move was unexpected and I didn't really know what to do. I've tried to stay in contact with her but I've realized that it's pretty much just me investing time and effort into this relationship. I'll text her and it will take her forever to respond. She's asked me to write her letters and gave me her address. I just don't think that she will really put much effort back into writing me. Overall I'm just trying to let her go because most of her actions just hurt me really bad and I don't think that in the end I meant as much to her as she meant to me.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
im very sorry for your situation jambi. i think that she didnt know how good was the guy she was dating. its so hard to find a guy that really loves us. she found it and is not caring for it. you deserve to be happy with a girl that values you. move on cause you are hurting yourself too much. if she values you she will contact you. there is a saying: if you love someone let it go. if it comes back its yours, if not it never was. this always works. if you need to talk im here :)
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
12 Jan 13
I would just move on with someone else and remain friend with him and once I am with someone I am loyal so I dont care if he want to act like he love me . I will not be best friend with someone i used to love until i got over them because I would want to move on so i guess I would just leave them behind and move on with my life .
1 person likes this
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
i understand you. i just remained friends with this guy i liked cause we are far away. so we dont see each other very very often. that way he cant affect my life so much. but when i remember his stupid attitudes of caring one day and next day not caring makes me sad. cause we used to be very close to each other you know? thats why made me sad to delete him of my life. but now is done and i wont regret it.
@daDaize (215)
• Austria
12 Jan 13
You know, I'm happy for you that you had the power to leave that person .... as for me...well.. I have this "niece" that is very important to me but for a while now she's more abusive,hateful etc.She can be really sweet but most times I just feel the hate from her.Even tho I want to move on..somehow I can't. I care her so much but I already made a plan that aafter meeting her again I will move on.Or so I plan.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
a niece? what do you mean? you mean that you are dating a girl that is younger than you?
• Puerto Rico
12 Jan 13
The fun thing about your situation is that I have a female friend that I work with who is going through the same type of situation. She has this guy that she's been dating and although the relationship started out sweet now its going sour. He does the same thing, one time he acts as if he loves her and then another time acts as if he doesn't love her. I suggest that you move on because being in a relationship like that just causes you to stress out yourself and as we all know stress is unhealthy. I'm tired of go through the same thing with my friend I have to constantly keep telling her that she is worth more then what she is going through right now and need to move on. Same to you move on there are better men
1 person likes this
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
thanks so much for sharing that with me. its good to feel that im not the only one on this situation and someone can advise me about this. i already decided to let it go. if he then regrets his attitudes he can look for me. but i wont be the one after him. he was the one acting wrong not me. so i wont waste more of my time being sad for someone that doesnt value me.
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
12 Jan 13
Have you actually talked to him, to ask him about his feelings? Perhaps, you need to really find out what is going on with him by asking him. If he is no longer interested in you, then by finding out his answer, which sounds like it is that he isn't as interested in you as he used to be, you can find closure and move on. Well, if he isn't paying any attention to you anymore, you will have to find the guts to leave him. After all, he has left you. So, what are you holding onto to? Whatever it is, it is no longer there. So, it is important to face that reality and move on. So, either by having a talk with him or by just letting it go, you will need to find closure to this relationship and move on.
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
i told him how i was feeling for two times. and both times he didnt say anything. he just acted like i didnt say anything to him you know? i cant be thinking that he likes me so much if he acts like he doesnt care right? we need to be sure of things. life is too short for me to waste it being sad all the time. i decided to let him go and if he sees me as important to him he will find a way to find me.
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
12 Jan 13
I had that with my ex husband. We had a great marriage for 4-5 years. Then he began to drink, all went bad from there.. I cared for him very much , at one day. I finally left him one day, I am glad I did.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
im very happy that you left him and feel happier now. we shouldnt live our life being sad. life is too short for us to waste it being sad. i wish that you find a guy that values you for who you are. and that doesnt let you go. a true love is what you deserve.
@toniganzon (53392)
• Philippines
12 Jan 13
Good that you've decided to delete him in your life. It's better to move on and find someone who deserves your attention and who would care for you more than you do yourself. That's the attitude of a strong woman! If it were me, I would talk it out like what i did to my long time bbm friend. I just can't assume things on my own and wonder if he cares or not. Men are not like women that says the opposite of how they feel. They are straight to the point and they act the way he feels. If my friend would tell me he doesn't really care, i wouldn't hang on. I'll delete him in my life because i am too precious to be with someone who doesn't know my worth!
1 person likes this
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
you are right toni. guys are usually more straight than us girls. sometimes we dont say things like they are with afraid of hurting their feelings. but they usually say things like they really are. i told him how i was feeling and he didnt say anything. so i guess i made the right decision. like people say: if you like someone let it go, if it comes back its yours. if doesnt, it never was. i guess this saying works always so we just have to wait and see what will happen. thanks so muchy for your precious advice
@puccagirl (7316)
• Israel
12 Jan 13
I think it's sometimes really hard to move on from situations like this, but at the same time, sometimes it is the only thing that works. So it sounds like you did the right thing, even though it cannot be easy. I've had to do the same thing a couple of times in my life, and while it was never easy, it was usually the right thing to do.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
19 Jan 13
today i was thinking if i made the right decision or not but i did. cause i couldnt be in the thing like one day im very important to him and then for the next month im like someone he just knows. thats why i decided to take him away of my life even though it makes me feel sad.