Using Someone Just To Move On

Philippines
January 13, 2013 8:38am CST
hi mylotters, Not all relationship lasted I mean not all people who are in a relationship ended up with each other and when a relationship ends one of the hardest thing to do is to MOVE ON some people divert their attentions to ease the pain some look for a new one and try to move on. But using someone just to move on even you don't love them is unfair I think only our heart and mind can help us to move on for me it's unfair to be with someone if you can't totally forget the other one. Moving on is not easy as counting 123 but it is better to move on alone than to use someone so you can forget the other one. happy mylotting
4 people like this
13 responses
@Shavkat (59525)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
It is not ethical to use somebody just to move on, then realizing that the relationship will not work in the long run. You hurt their feelings and curse you in some point. But then, we should be sensitive enough not to fall in that kind of relationships.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Every one is sensitive, knowing that this relationships is serious to the other while the half side of it is nothing than a relief from the previous break up. i think it takes maturity and guts to gamble and get over to a relationship that wasn't serious to begin with. no one can avoid something like specially if your risking it
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi shavkat, No one has the right to use anyone for its own benefits thanks for the response happy mylotting
@vernaC (1493)
• Romania
13 Jan 13
I'm sure it's hard but using someone will just give you more troubles. It's much better to focus on something else to get yourself busy rather than using someone else and get busy comparing, because I'm sure you couldn't help not to comapre them. This situation could help you become better in something what you will choose to focus on, like writing or cooking foe example. Goodluck on moving on
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I agree. It will complicate things more if we use someone. For one, it's more important to give your love to yourself after a break up than give it to the next person that comes your way. It's not always a good idea to look for someone else just to help yourself move on.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
hi vernac, I agree with you if we really want to move on we don't need to have rebound relationship with someone. thanks for the response happy mylotting
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
I try counting 1 2 3 and wallah.... I am feeling great and had moved on
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
hi jai, I thought you are running You already moved on but they can't move on miss yah
2 people like this
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
let them chase... it's not my problem anymore miss yah
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
13 Jan 13
I agree with you it's not honest to just be with someone because you are not able to face the truth, your pain(s), your feelings, you.. the person who you are with probably a part in the stranded relationship as well. It needs time to get over it, most of all, think over what happenend and how to make sure it won't happen again. Since everything we do not like in our life is a lesson. And from a lesson we should learn.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
hi wuk, What you said is really true we must think first before we jump into another relationship though we never know that something might not happen again. thanks for the response happy mylotting
@mythociate (15182)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
13 Jan 13
Because the only reason you're in any lover-relationship is because you feel better about yourself when you're with them---like 'now you're serving a purpose.' That's why the Eden-mythology describes the perfect spouse as "a help, mate for" you. ('Mate' there is not 'a mate' (and not 'to mate' either, Doctor's Companion Donna ), but an adjective---a word describing the 'help' that a spouse should be ... a 'custom-fit' for you.) THAT is the 'purpose' you feel like you have when you are 'mate for' (or you could say "made for") your lover---you complete them, like your right-hand completes your left-hand (the 'APPLAUSE'-sign turns on, & where else can your right-hand go to follow the sign's command?) But sometimes you have to be the left-hand. You just have to "not care 'why' the right-hand is using you" at that time. You have to--at those times--just be 'the help, mate for them'---much like The Church has to be for Jesus (even though Jesus might just be using The Church on Earth to get over losing The Church on Tattooine or -on Hoth or -on Naboo or some other long-ago church in a galaxy far-far away). If you're good, you know when to be 'the right-hand' in a relationship and -when to become 'the left-hand.' Typically, men are the 'right-hands' (starters/captains/commanders/etc.)---especially at the start ... "Hey, you wanna ... go out? go dancin`? see a movie? go on vacation with me? get married?" But personally, I need a woman to start-out as 'the right-hand' with me ... to 'woo & win' me--so-to-speak--as I am a 'depleted man' (i.e. below the normal standards a lot of men carry ... no car, way-below-standard income, less-than-sane sometimes).
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
hi mythociate, thanks for the response happy mylotting
@devonavis (1857)
• Greece
13 Jan 13
My friend just recently had a break-up with her boyfriend. She asked for tips on how to move on. I just said time heals. Be with your friends and don't start another relationship just after the break up.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
hi devonavis, You are right time can heal and it's not ideal to be in a new relationship again after a break up. thanks for the response happy mylotting
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I have done something in the past that I totally hated myself for. When I broke up with my ex, I was glad to be free again and wanted to enjoy being single or even date other guys so I can enjoy other people's company. But then another guy courted me, so I said yes, because I don't dislike him. I didn't really have strong feelings for this person, but I like him enough so I gave us a chance. 6 months later, I realized that I don't love him really and he's not a very attentive boyfriend. I was not satisfied in the relationship any more, so I broke up with him, mostly because I was falling for another guy and I think I am already cheating if I kept being in that relationship. I didn't want to use the guy to move one, but I think.... I did that anyway thinking that I was like that person enough and maybe I will grow to love him. I want to be fair to him so I let him go. Of course, it's bad timing that I had fallen in love with someone else a little before we broke up. I feel so bad. Now that he has a girl friend, I was so happy because it got rid of my guilt. I want him to be happy with someone else. Happiness and real love is something I can't give to him.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I don't think you have done nothing wrong, in fact you did the right thing there. i guess in her discussion, the woman she was preferring to needed a company in her process of moving on but the guy doesn't realize it.. but you really didn't have to be guilty since the guy isn't attentive to you anyways
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Thank you, letran I feel so much better because of your words. I vow never to do such things to any person again, because I don't want to hurt anyone.... unless they ask for it. LOL, just kidding.
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi aja, I can't blame you for doing it you just give yourself a chance maybe in some point you use the guy to forget the other one but it is good that you've been honest with him on what you feel besides he is not worth it cause he can't give you a time . thanks for the response happy mylotting
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
Hello Bhabycatch, Some people can't be taught to do the right thing, it's one of the reasons i don't risk it because you might end up being used as a loop hole. you don't know what's on their minds or what could they feel if you failed to please them more often than you should. well, am a guy but i think am not very good at it. but i won't use other people to be just a loop hole. why people do that anyways?
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
They do it because they are needy and they can't stand alone. Or they do it because they think it is the most effective way to get over someone but actually it isn't. The best action is to move on on your own, be independent, love yourself more and give yourself time to heal before moving on to another relationship.
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi LK, I can't give you an answer about it I believe when it comes to love we take a risk no matter what consequences we will get at the end no one deserved to be use. thanks for the response happy mylotting
• India
26 Jan 13
I agree with the statement-' using someone just to move on even you don't love them is unfair I think only our heart and mind can help us to move on for me it's unfair to be with someone if you can't totally forget the other one.Moving on is not easy as counting 123 but it is better to move on alone than to use someone so you can forget the other one. But it is not that easy, time is the greatest healer.
• Philippines
26 Jan 13
good day! thanks for the response happy mylotting
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
18 Jan 13
So true. I always say too that it's better to be alone than in the company of someone who doesn't care for you and treat you right.
• Philippines
18 Jan 13
hi MsTickle, That is right thanks for the response happy mylotting
• United States
14 Jan 13
I can't fathom how a person can use another person, knowingly hurting that other person. I don't understand why we allow ourselves to trust and hurt so much, human nature, I know. I completely agree, if you don't want to be with someone, move on and do it alone, don't find someone else to take it out on. I just don't get how people can be so cruel now a days.
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi enchanted, Human nature for others I guess thanks for the response happy mylotting
@elitess (5072)
• Ipswich, England
13 Jan 13
Hello Bhaby Catch. I have actually used this when I was torn between 2 girls when I was young (17 I think) and the third girl that came in the picture helped me get over the first 2, which was most beneficial to me, even if we did not end up together. On another occasion, after a break I tried being with the sister of an older girlfriend (everyone was ok with it), but we both decided we were not into each other, and after this I decided just ignoring this aspect until someone proper for me is located :).
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi elitess, Well we must be responsible to our decision and we must learn from it thanks for the response happy mylotting
@joliefille (3696)
• Philippines
13 Jan 13
People who use others to move on will also experience the pain when others do the same thing to them. It even hurts more when the partner they're using is clueless. I'd rather move on alone, too, and work on my own issues than drag someone together with my excess emotional baggage and compound my problem. I was forced to move on from a relationship that ended really bad in March last year. A week after someone took an interest in getting to know me and I didn't really like him at first because I was still hurting from the last relationship. He expressed he liked me and two months after I found I was beginning to like him but I didn't give him a motive to pursue me other than just being friends because I didn't want to hurt him knowing a huge part of my heart was still pretty much occupied by the ex.
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
hi jolie, I admired you for being fair with that guy having a honest feelings give us a peaceful life. thanks for the response happy mylotting
1 person likes this