Using Someone Just To Move On

It is not ethical to use somebody just to move on, then realizing that the relationship will not work in the long run. You hurt their feelings and curse you in some point. But then, we should be sensitive enough not to fall in that kind of relationships.

I'm sure it's hard but using someone will just give you more troubles. It's much better to focus on something else to get yourself busy rather than using someone else and get busy comparing, because I'm sure you couldn't help not to comapre them. This situation could help you become better in something what you will choose to focus on, like writing or cooking foe example. Goodluck on moving on

I try counting 1 2 3 and wallah.... I am feeling great and had moved on

Because the only reason you're in any lover-relationship is because you feel better about yourself when you're with them---like 'now you're serving a purpose.' That's why the Eden-mythology describes the perfect spouse as "a help, mate for" you. ('Mate' there is not 'a mate' (and not 'to mate' either, Doctor's Companion Donna ), but an adjective---a word describing the 'help' that a spouse should be ... a 'custom-fit' for you.) THAT is the 'purpose' you feel like you have when you are 'mate for' (or you could say "made for") your lover---you complete them, like your right-hand completes your left-hand (the 'APPLAUSE'-sign turns on, & where else can your right-hand go to follow the sign's command?) But sometimes you have to be the left-hand. You just have to "not care 'why' the right-hand is using you" at that time. You have to--at those times--just be 'the help, mate for them'---much like The Church has to be for Jesus (even though Jesus might just be using The Church on Earth to get over losing The Church on Tattooine or -on Hoth or -on Naboo or some other long-ago church in a galaxy far-far away). If you're good, you know when to be 'the right-hand' in a relationship and -when to become 'the left-hand.' Typically, men are the 'right-hands' (starters/captains/commanders/etc.)---especially at the start ... "Hey, you wanna ... go out? go dancin`? see a movie? go on vacation with me? get married?" But personally, I need a woman to start-out as 'the right-hand' with me ... to 'woo & win' me--so-to-speak--as I am a 'depleted man' (i.e. below the normal standards a lot of men carry ... no car, way-below-standard income, less-than-sane sometimes).

I agree with you it's not honest to just be with someone because you are not able to face the truth, your pain(s), your feelings, you.. the person who you are with probably a part in the stranded relationship as well. It needs time to get over it, most of all, think over what happenend and how to make sure it won't happen again. Since everything we do not like in our life is a lesson. And from a lesson we should learn.

My friend just recently had a break-up with her boyfriend. She asked for tips on how to move on. I just said time heals. Be with your friends and don't start another relationship just after the break up.

So true. I always say too that it's better to be alone than in the company of someone who doesn't care for you and treat you right.

I can't fathom how a person can use another person, knowingly hurting that other person. I don't understand why we allow ourselves to trust and hurt so much, human nature, I know. I completely agree, if you don't want to be with someone, move on and do it alone, don't find someone else to take it out on. I just don't get how people can be so cruel now a days.

Hello Bhaby Catch. I have actually used this when I was torn between 2 girls when I was young (17 I think) and the third girl that came in the picture helped me get over the first 2, which was most beneficial to me, even if we did not end up together. On another occasion, after a break I tried being with the sister of an older girlfriend (everyone was ok with it), but we both decided we were not into each other, and after this I decided just ignoring this aspect until someone proper for me is located :).

People who use others to move on will also experience the pain when others do the same thing to them. It even hurts more when the partner they're using is clueless. I'd rather move on alone, too, and work on my own issues than drag someone together with my excess emotional baggage and compound my problem. I was forced to move on from a relationship that ended really bad in March last year. A week after someone took an interest in getting to know me and I didn't really like him at first because I was still hurting from the last relationship. He expressed he liked me and two months after I found I was beginning to like him but I didn't give him a motive to pursue me other than just being friends because I didn't want to hurt him knowing a huge part of my heart was still pretty much occupied by the ex.

Hello Bhabycatch, Some people can't be taught to do the right thing, it's one of the reasons i don't risk it because you might end up being used as a loop hole. you don't know what's on their minds or what could they feel if you failed to please them more often than you should. well, am a guy but i think am not very good at it. but i won't use other people to be just a loop hole. why people do that anyways?

I agree with the statement-' using someone just to move on even you don't love them is unfair I think only our heart and mind can help us to move on for me it's unfair to be with someone if you can't totally forget the other one.Moving on is not easy as counting 123 but it is better to move on alone than to use someone so you can forget the other one. But it is not that easy, time is the greatest healer.

I have done something in the past that I totally hated myself for. When I broke up with my ex, I was glad to be free again and wanted to enjoy being single or even date other guys so I can enjoy other people's company. But then another guy courted me, so I said yes, because I don't dislike him. I didn't really have strong feelings for this person, but I like him enough so I gave us a chance. 6 months later, I realized that I don't love him really and he's not a very attentive boyfriend. I was not satisfied in the relationship any more, so I broke up with him, mostly because I was falling for another guy and I think I am already cheating if I kept being in that relationship. I didn't want to use the guy to move one, but I think.... I did that anyway thinking that I was like that person enough and maybe I will grow to love him. I want to be fair to him so I let him go. Of course, it's bad timing that I had fallen in love with someone else a little before we broke up. I feel so bad. Now that he has a girl friend, I was so happy because it got rid of my guilt. I want him to be happy with someone else. Happiness and real love is something I can't give to him.