unmutual feelings

Philippines
January 14, 2013 12:57am CST
i don't know what to do. i am always jealous and mad at my boyfriend and i think being like this is pissing him off. well, i'm just being true to myself that's why the last time we talked i told him that if he doesn't like my attitude and the way i think it's better for us to break up and separate ways but, he told me that he loves me and he doesn't want to break up with me. he said i'm weird and i don't think before i say things and when i think, i'm always wrong. i'm always jealous with the girls he meet on parties because he's a club dj but can he blame me? i'm so sick of our situation, i love him but we always argue and we always have misunderstandings. what shall i do now?can you give me some advice?
2 people like this
11 responses
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
16 Jan 13
i commend you for even dating someone in the entertainment business. i wouldn't. they are always around to many sticky situations with other woman. i don't trust that and i don't blame you for not either. it's hard because you love him, but your first instinct is right. perhaps you should consider getting with a guy who you could feel more secure with. i once date a musician. true to form, he eventually cheated. your boyfriend may not. he may actually love you. if you love him enough, then you have to accept that other woman are going to be a part of his life...even if it's for professional reasons and decided to just trust that what you don't see won't hurt you. as long as he keeps it out of your face, you have to trust him or else get out of the relationship. this situation isn't going to change.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
haha, i don't have an idea why I let myself fall in love with a club dj, I am not a party animal and I don't go to parties. I hope he is worth my trust because I don't want us to hurt each other. I always want to believe that our relationship will keep working despite the distance. Thanks for your response, MOonGypsy!
@jenny1015 (13389)
• Philippines
14 Jan 13
I think that you need to do something about your attitude. It should not be always your boyfriend to bend down when you have misunderstandings. Recognize your faults, as well. Don't rely on having it your way all the time. Your boyfriend might end up getting fed up, you know. So, always think before you speak.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
well. i think you are right. I am now trying to change my attitude towards my boyfriend and if I know it's my fault, I apologize to him right away. thanks for this, jenny!
@akhil112 (58)
• India
18 Jan 13
Well am not a relatioship expert ,but i can tell u this for sure,relatioships are easy to break but hard to maintain.He told you he loves you so you should try to make little adjustments ,tell him frankly that you are trying to adjust.By hearing this itself he will be pleased and try to adjust himself and if it does not seem to work out break up why bother over a relationship that does not seem to workout but remember its the extreme step.
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
I think that's the problem-- I am frank and tactless most of the time. I know I have to trust him but sometimes I cannot help thinking about what he may be doing in his place because we are so far from each other.
• India
7 Feb 13
Indeed we tend to miss the people that we care about and that is called love.In case of love you often get possessive, I have done it too but that is a thing to be avoided coz it only disrupts every thing
• Indonesia
25 Jan 13
if what you need now is a good advice i can't give you any advices.because i am not a wiseman hehehehe...,kidding.why you have the similar problem with me?i was broke up with my girl friend because the different mindset. but i don't advice you to break up with him. i just tell you that no body's perfect but we need somone who understand about what we think and what we want. altought he did not work in the same field. but at least it can form balanced communication between you and your boy friend. and now i am still compfortable being single.hahahahahaha...,LOL
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
that's true, nobody is perfect but we can if we want to. =) thanks for this!
@kristiane (112)
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
Trust is very important in a relationship. If you really love him, you must learn to trust him in every single moment. If he still does something the can betray your trust, then trust your love to the goodness of the universe. In the end, the one who is honest will be rewarded with good things in life.
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
thanks, kristiane! I will take your advice.
• India
22 Jan 13
Hi friend, sad to hear about your stage. I think you are very possessive about your lover, too much of possessiveness is not good and it will create a lot of unwanted problems. Try your maximum to control your jealous and have faith with him.
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
hello, yeah I think you are right but, I am just thinking this way because we are miles away from each other and I don't have a clue of what he's doing everyday, all i have is trust, hope and faith. But sometimes, I am losing my faith as well as hope, maybe because I am getting tired of being away from him.
@ZoeJoy (1395)
• United States
16 Jan 13
Do you really want a boyfriend who is a club DJ? Perhaps that is bothering you? What would you like him to do besides being a club DJ? Do you like that kind of lifestyle - dancing at clubs? Perhaps it is not so much your boyfriend, but his job that bothers you. When he is the DJ, it means he can't dance with you. Does that bother you? When I went dancing at a New Years' Party, it was my husband who made the music requests to the DJ. I never talked to the DJ. I don't go to clubs, so don't really know what goes on. So, does he talk to the girls? Do they come up to him when he is working? When he meets the girls at the party - what happens? I don't see why he needs to talk to anyone at parties except for the music requests. So, without getting emotional, analysis why you are jealous. If you are sick of your situation, would you rather he had a different job, perhaps? Is there anything else he can do that would make you more happy? So, take a deep breath, think before you talk, and think what would make you happy and also, what would make your boyfriend happy.
• Philippines
25 Jan 13
hello, Zoejoy! I think his job bothers me all the time but, I don't want him to leave his job because he loves it so much, it is his passion. So, I guess I have to accept and adjust and I know I have to change my attitude and stop being jealous if there's no proof. Thanks!
• China
28 Feb 13
Wow,have a boyfriend whose job is a DJ in a club especially in the night club is a challenge for girls,but I think that if there is ture love between the lover,then nothing can stop them.
@fourjems (11)
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
I assume you know his work already before you accepted him. The fact that you said "yes" to him, you should have also prepared yourself for this kind of situation. You really have to do something about your attitude. It's normal to get jealous, but to be over jealous is not healthy anymore in a relationship. Time will come that your bf will get tired and be fed up with your jealousy. The problem is not your bf's job but you. Even if you broke up with him and be in a new relationship, you will still end up in the same situation. No one can help you but you yourself. Have faith and trust in your loved one. That is very essential to a harmonious relationship even in marriage.
@MsTickle (24978)
• Australia
29 Jan 13
Insecurity and jealousy will always kill a relationship. Try for maturity and being loving, trusting and understanding instead. It will have amazing rewards.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
27 Jan 13
I don't know if you had a relationship before. If so... did you feel the same in that relationship? Is there a good reason why you are jealous/mad? Is it possible he give more attention to others (and is he saying it's a part of his job for example) as he does give to you? No matter what kind of job people have they will, in most cases, meet other people. But there is a difference in how you treat those other people, what kind of attention you give to your "customers". It somehow sounds to me as if he is not giving you that great feeling, the kind of attention you need to feel sure, safe. If this is the case you should talk about it with him. I would also advice you to ask yourself where else this feeling might come from. Something out of your past perhaps? Or do you feel you invest more in him as he does in you? Do you have less private life (with your own friends etc) as he has? If so it might be a good plan to set your own goals. To go out with your friends, chase your own dreams, goals why he is working. So get focused on yourself instead of him. If this is still not working or you see/feel you can't trust him end the relationship. It won't do you any good to get upset, mad, etc time after time.